Amnesia - 5SOS
Run to you - PTX
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He closed his eyes almost as quickly as he had opened them, the lights too bright for his sensitive eyes. The faint smell of cleaning alcohol and hospital sheets wafted into his nose as his eyes finally adjusted to his surroundings. He was alone in a hospital room, the large window to his right providing the source of light, near which he saw a familiar person standing. This time though, he was absolutely sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. It was definitely Mitch.
His brightly colored head shot up when he heard the faint rustling of the sheets. Once he was assured that Scott was truly awake, he took a few timid steps closer to the bed and stopped. "Scott?"
"Hey." He croaked out as he tried to get rid of the soreness and cricks he had all over his body from being still too long. "What happened? Where's... the other person?"
"She's safe, thanks to you trying to be some kind of a superhero. She's badly bruised but she'll live. You on the other hand have broken your arm again since it hadn't healed 100% from the first time you hurt it. What were you even thinking, Scott?"
Before he could reply, the door burst open and a hysterical blonde girl ran in. "Scott Richard Hoying, what the hell did you try to do!?"
"Uhm, save the world?" That earned him a hard smack to the shoulder of his broken arm. "OW! I'm in PAIN!'
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said, immediately regretting it. "But that was possibly the stupidest thing you have ever done. You could've been killed Scott!"
"I know, Kit. I know. It's just... the girl looked a lot like Mitch, and I couldn't just watch her get hurt. I had to do something!"
"Oh, honey." Kirstie sighed. "She's just a fan who dresses and styles herself like Mitch." She stopped breathing when she heard what Scott said next.
"Oh. I'm just glad it wasn't really Mitch, and that he's safe. I don't know what I would do if it was really him who almost got killed." He only looked up at her again when she didn't say anything for a while, his heart sinking instantly when he saw that her expression was one of shock and deep concern.
"Scott, what are you talking about?" she asked, confusion and panic evident in her soft voice.
"What?"
"Mitch- Mitch died Scott."
He felt the wind get knocked out of him at those words, even though he couldn't make head or tail of it. The silence that met her statement dragged on, the tension in the air so thick that Scott could almost feel it physically weighing him down even more.
"Wh- What do you mean?"
"I mean that our friend Mitchell Grassi is no longer alive, Scott. He died the same day Alex did."
"What the hell are you talking about, Kirstie!? He wasn't even there with us on the day of the accident."
"He was, Scott! He was in the backseat of the car with the two of you! Alex died at the scene and Mitch died on the way to the hospital!" She felt tears start flowing down her face, not really sure what was going on or why her body decided she needed to start crying.
"But he's been with me all along! We still live together and everything! I was just talking to him before you burst in, look!" He pointed desperately towards where he last saw Mitch standing by the windows, but his face immediately blanched when he realized his best friend was no longer there. He started shaking, and he could feel the beads of sweat form and roll down his temples as the fear and panic built up in him. "Kirstie, what the fuck is going on?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
She took a few hesitant steps forward and placed her hand gently on his shoulder. "I don't know, Scott, but I'm really worried about you right now."
He shrugged her hand off after a few silent seconds passed. "No. NO! You- You're lying! You must be." He was becoming a stuttering mess, shaking his head in disbelief. "I bet this is all just some cruel and stupid prank you guys are playing on me."
"You know we're not that evil, Scott. This is not something to prank about and I have no reason to lie about such a serious matter. Both Mitchell and Alexander died in the crash that day, but for some reason I think your brain has decided to think Mitch is still well and alive. But he's really not, Scott. God, I should have known something was wrong when you suggested starting PTX again so nonchalantly. We all knew it wouldn't be the same without Mitch, but apparently you barely even realized his absence!"
"No, I refuse to believe this Kirstin. This is just some twisted dream. It can't be real!" Kirstie attempted to touch him again, but that just seemed to have set off a panic attack. "No! No, I don't believe you. It doesn't add up! I know he's still alive! I've had enough of this! Tell Mitch to come back in NOW! I KNOW HE'S STILL ALIVE! I KNOW IT!"
His heart monitor started racing, beeping like a bomb that was ready to explode any second. The door burst open and a couple of nurses rushed in, asking Kirstie to leave, but she stayed put and watched them. One of the nurses ran over to Scott and tried to inject him with a clear liquid, but he started flailing his arms wildly at her, trying desperately to make her get away from him. While he was distracted by the nurse trying to calm him down, the other one ran over to the other side of the bed and stuck an extra needle into the side of his neck. Within seconds, his body went limp and he dropped his head against the pillow, his vision blurring fast. As his world faded out, he saw Kirstie looking beyond heartbroken at what was happening to him, her hands covering her mouth as tears streamed like rivers down her sweet face.
And behind her stood Mitch, an equally sad expression on his face as he looked down at him.
Then everything went black.
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When Scott came to again later, it was already dark outside. It took a while for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, then again for him to find a clock in the room. It was almost midnight. He shuffled around for the bedside remote, and then pressed the button that turned on the lights in his single bed hospital room. Again he was blinded when the whole room was lit up by the florescent light bulb on the wall behind his bed.
But when his vision finally adapted to the brightness, he froze.
Mitch was sitting on the chair next to his bed.
Scott jumped back a bit, not sure what to think about seeing his best friend, looking just as healthy as he used to, and very much alive. He still wasn't sure if the encounter with Kirstie at the hospital had been a dream, or whether he should believe anything he had been told even if it was real life.
"Scott..." Mitch seemed hesitant, not sure how to actually start a conversation without frightening Scott even more than he already was.
"Mitch?" He asked, his voice quivering. He could feel the tears build up on his waterline. "Is it really you? Please, tell me I'm not imagining this."
"NO! No you're not. You are perfectly fine, honey, I'm here. But... I'm not exactly... here either." He scratched the back of his head and tried to come up with a good way to explain the situation, but he came up with a blank.
"What do you mean Mitch? Just tell me." The desperation in his voice was painful to hear. The poor boy was so confused, doubting his own sanity, but who could blame him? It wasn't the easiest and most understandable situation for anyone to be in.
"I- I'm a ghost, Scott."
He expected the blonde to say something, but when he remained silent, Mitch decided to just continue. "Kirstie was right, I was with you and Alex in his car, and I did die in that accident along with him. You even attended both of our funerals. But for some reason, while it was easier for you to accept that Alex was gone, your mind was set on denying the fact that I was dead too."
"But- But why can I see you? Why don't I see Alex too?"
"Alex became a ghost too, and once you understood that he was dead, he was able to move on. But I got stuck. I couldn't leave this world and I couldn't communicate with anyone either. I could only watch as you sat by yourself for hours feeling bad about what happened, blaming yourself... and even contemplating suicide." He looked down at his hands, which were wringing themselves on his lap as he spoke. "I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do. I felt like I was punished by being forced to watch you torment yourself with your mind, and that hurt much more than the realization that I was dead. Until about a week after you came back from the hospital. You just walked out of the kitchen into the living room, saw me standing there, ran over and pulled me into a hug, saying you missed me. I was so confused, but after I noticed how just seeing me seemed to have made you snap out of you depression, I realized what I had to do."
"Your mind just wasn't able to take in the fact that you lost two of the people you love the most at the same time, so I was left behind in order to soften the blow and reduce some of the shock and pain you were feeling. I was stuck here so that I could save you from making a rash decision that could possibly end your life sooner than it was supposed to, despite you being given a second chance during the accident."
One fact was still making him feel extremely guilty though. "But, why was accepting Alex's death easier than accepting yours?" It seemed like a harsh question, but he was just so damn bewildered.
"Because you have known and loved me for much longer than you have Alex. Because I have always had a more permanent hold on your heart and your mind than either of us ever realized. But Alex always knew, which was why he decided to leave as soon as he could, because he knew him staying behind wouldn't really serve much of a purpose."
Despite the perfectly delivered explanation, Scott was still unable to let the words sink in. He was still waiting for Mitch to just break out laughing and tell him it was all a stupid but well planned joke. But as the silence dragged on, he became more certain that it wouldn't happen. "Tell me everything. Please. Everything that I missed out on. Everything that happened after you... just... all of it."
Mitch sighed and leaned back on the chair. He took a deep breath and began telling his story. "After the accident, I woke up at the morgue in the hospital. It was... traumatizing I guess, and super creepy. Just seeing your own cold body lying there, all beat up and useless, it's not a fun situation to wake up to. But Alex was there as well, and it took us both a while to figure out what was going on and to come to terms with it. Then we realized that if you weren't there with us, that meant you were still alive, so we went looking for you and found you while you were still unconscious after your operation."
"The moment we found you though, something seemed to have hooked both me and Alex to you, and we couldn't leave you. We were both forced to stay by your side the whole time. The next day when you came to, we were there to see you, how you felt and reacted to the news. Of course, you took it badly. Everyone knows it can't be easy losing two of the closest people in your life at the same time. Those nights when we had to sit in your room with you and watch you cry was heartbreaking for both of us, but there seemed to be nothing we could do to comfort you. However, after you had a day or two to let the news sink in, something changed in Alex. He said he started feeling lighter, like the chains were loosening and he wasn't forced to be stuck at your side all the time. By the end of day three of you waking up again, Alex saw the light. And he crossed over." His voice was wistful, but the small smile on his face showed that Mitch understood Alex's choice, and that he was happy for his friend.
"In the meantime, I knew I couldn't just watch you suffer if I was trapped here. I had to do something to make you feel better, to stop you from succumbing to your depression, to fulfill whatever it was I was put there for. I tried to improve my control of the physical world. I tried moving things, making lights flicker, talking to animals; I even tried to get people to see and communicate with me, but that never worked. By the time you were discharged from the hospital, I had almost full control of moving objects and creating small 'hauntings', but that was about it. It was quite fun sometimes to be honest, even though I had to do it all while you were asleep so that I didn't scare you. But I wasn't free. I was still chained to you, unable to even walk out of the room you were in. That is, until that day when you finally saw me. It was as if the moment you let me out of the hug, all of the chains and cuffs holding me to you just fell off. I was still trapped in this world, but I no longer had to be pulled around behind you wherever you went. And since by now I could actually touch you and move stuff, I could pretend that everything was fine for your sake, even though everything had completely changed. Has changed."
"But the entire time, I was just constantly wondering, how long would this go on? It was able to go on for a while since everyone was afraid to talk to you about the accident, and for some stupid reason you weren't even referred to a therapist to help you cope after what happened, but eventually someone was going to find out why you were getting along much better than expected. Or you might've come across some post about my death when you decided to be active on social media again, and that would've sent you into panic mode. But shockingly you didn't, because it was all over the internet a few months ago. I was happy for your recovery of course. In fact, I was ecstatic that you were even planning to create your own album, but after you suggested getting PTX back together, I knew I had to tell you about it much sooner rather than later. I had no idea Kirstie would turn up, or that you would meet with an accident while I was away. I wish I had followed you, but I couldn't risk you spotting me, especially since I can't still quite control how I disappear. I really should have told you much sooner. It frightened me that I was getting a bit too comfortable with the new arrangement, but I was also scared to tell you; terrified of how you would react, and what would happen after."
Scott took Mitch's hands in his own and made the small and vulnerable boy look up at him. "I'm sorry you had to deal with all of that. All for me." He reached up and wiped the tears from Mitch's cheeks. "Is that why Wyatt has been acting weird around you recently?" Mitch nodded solemnly. "And all those stories about meeting Björk and producing an EDM album, all that was a lie as well?" Another nod. Scott sighed, his thumbs running small circles on the back of Mitch's hands. "Thank you, Mitch. I understand it hasn't been easy for you either. I just don't know why or how I can't remember that you died."
"The mind has funny ways of getting over trauma and grief, Scott," he said sadly. "I don't know why you started repressing the memories, and I don't think anyone will be able to figure it out either."
Scott pulled Mitch onto the bed and hugged him close, and they stayed like that for what was probably merely a few minutes, but it felt like hours. He still couldn't quite comprehend the whole circumstances, but he decided that he had heard enough for the night and wanted to sleep on it. Eventually, Scott felt his eyes starting to get heavy, a combined effect of the painkillers he was on, the fact that he had been injected with tranquilizers earlier, as well as the time. He struggled to keep them open, wanting to keep the moment going for as long as possible. But eventually, his body gave up and he drifted off into deep sleep.
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