Chapter 9
I laughed at the joke Mr. Fray made with the other students in class. Mr. Fray was so funny and always got something in each day to laugh about.
As this was happening though, I heard it. The undeniable whispers with the name Jade in the sentence.
"Look at those glasses," one of the girls snickered.
"I know. I think my grandpa has an exact replica. From 1931."
They laughed and I only took my glasses off, pretending to wipe them with the skirt of my dress. I sighed as I tried not to straight up cry. This bullying thing had begun a couple weeks ago when I had been prescribed glasses because of my blurry eyesight. Suddenly these girls began to pick on me and some of the people I constantly talked to seemed to freeze me out. They'd wave and smile in a somewhat friendly way and then they'd go back to whatever they were doing as if they never saw me.
I hesitated as I brought the lenses back close to my face. I knew wearing them meant more laughter from the clique of mean girls.
I finally nestled them in the bridge of my nose and tried not to show any shame in wearing them.
The bell shrieked signaling recess so I stood up and brought my book out with me. I was reading a story called White Fang though I admit sometimes I struggled with a couple words and had to ask some of the adults what they meant.
I chose to read this in the bathroom because it was quiet in there and I might be at to avoid I think it was Rachel and her posy.
I walked in and poked my glasses back up the bridge of my nose before I got into a stall.
I was flipping through some pages when I heard suspicious giggling.
"Hello?" I asked in confusion.
There was a loud shutting sound that made me go rigid. The lights shut off to make it all the more better. I shot up and tried to open the stall door. It was locked. I quickly opened it back up and then stepped out.
I could barely see anything as I looked around the darkness of the bathroom. I went to the door and when it wouldn't budge I began to scream.
The sound if the bell overpowered my vocals greatly as I shrieked and began to point against the door with my fists as fear swelled in the pit if my stomach.
"Help! help, please, somebody get me out of here!"
When no one replied tears began to drop down my face.
"Please!" I whimpered as if using the magic word would get me out of this one.
I didn't give up even though I felt like my lungs were getting tighter and tighter by the second with every pound if my tiny fists to the door.
"SOMEBODY PLEASE!"
I kicked the door desperately and began to pant, gasping for breath. "Please!" I sobbed between breathing spasms.
The door opened slowly. "Hello?"
Without thinking I immediately jumped into my hero's arms. I sobbed brokenly, trying not to think of being trapped in that compressed room without much of any vision. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"Whoa, whoa, what happened?"
I shook my head. "I don't know!" I cried.
"Okay, okay. What's your name, love?" he asked me.
I whispered quietly, "Jade."
"It's okay Jade; I'm here." His green eyes peered into my own. "I'm Mac."
I rolled over in my bed and stared up at the ceiling.
No! Go away! Go away ten year old Mac, I don’t need you anymore!
I sighed and covered my ears with my pillow as if someone were right in my ear screaming at me. I remember how scared I was that day and he’d been there for me; he’d always been there for me, really until he left England and returned to America.
I bit my lip and growled. I didn’t like thinking about him yet at the same time I always do. And that reminded me of the meadow; our meadow.
I sat up and walked over to my dresser and pulled out a warm cable knit sweater. I stepped into a pair of jeans and put on my boots before fluffing my hair under a cable knit beanie. I felt like this would be warm enough for me to go outside. Just in case I brought my blanket with me along with my journal and iPod. My feet quietly slipped down the wide halls of the school until I got outside. I walked past the trees and the other buildings all the while keeping my head down, every now and then pushing my glasses back up the bridge of my nose.
I finally came across the meadow and it brought a smile to my face; it was always so beautiful out here. The lake glimmered with the moon reflecting it and the grass seemed greener. Darkness and night have always seemed so different to me; sure they are both supposedly allied with darkness, but I feel like night is just one of those things that has a certain depth that can’t be understood. And every one knows how when humans don’t understand something they tend to fear it.
Ugh, I sound like a real nerd; “humans”. I’m so close to going around calling everyone “mere mortals”.
I shuffled towards the tree I have so familiarized myself with and sat down, setting my back against it. I looked up at the stars and couldn’t help but smile at the memory of Mac and me counting the stars. We’d always begin counting and we knew that we wouldn’t be able to count even half of them properly and then we’d get distracted by beginning the most random conversations. Mac would try and point out constellations to me and even though I’d studied them, I could never find them.
I sighed and snuggled into my blanket.
“Funny, seeing you here.”
I gasped and clutched the blanket closer to me. I looked to where the voice came from and saw nothing. I frowned and leaned, looking around the tree and huffed.
“It’s you.”
“Do not over whelm me with your excitement, Sweetheart. We see each other nearly every day; it’s nothing special.”
I shook my head and rolled my eyes. I doubt Harry plans on changing himself anytime soon, but . . . do I want him to change?
No. by that I mean I’m indifferent! Not anything else . . .
He came out and sat next to me.
“Harry, what are you doing out here?”
“Why you’d think with such a mind as yours, you of all people should be able to tell that I am in fact sitting,” he smart assed.
I sighed and stood up.
“Wait! Where are you going?” he asked urgently, making a grab at my wrist.
“I came out here for peace and quiet and already you’re giving me a headache,” I told him.
He looked up at me and apologized, “I’ll be quiet; just- you don’t have to go.”
I looked down at him and cursed mentally. The moon seems to enhance the beauty of everything out here: the grass, the lake, the trees, and even Harry and those god damned eyes. The moon could be seen in the green depths and I realized with s start that they’re not blur or even gray, but in fact green.
Well you learn something new every day.
I hesitantly pulled the blanket closer to me and sat down next to him again.
“So why are you out here?’ I mumbled.
He shrugged. “I just . . . well, I don’t know. I probably should be trying to sleep so the urge to sleep during class doesn’t increase-” I couldn’t help but chortle here “- but I just couldn’t really sleep for some reason,” he shrugged. I nodded and let his words sink into my mind. He then turned to me. “What about you?”
“What?” I asked.
“Come on. I told you my story; it’s only fair you tell me yours,” he said with a teasing smirk and shoulder nudge.
I was quiet at first, just picking at blades of grass. I couldn’t really find the right words to say. Did I want to tell him? Did I want him to know something so personal about me?
I didn’t really answer those questions as I began to answer slowly. “I uhh . . .” I sighed. “I was having these- these dreams. Flashbacks, if you may.” I took my bottom lip between my teeth. “About . . . about Mac.”
He didn’t say anything and I can’t say I really minded. I liked his silence; although deep down part of me was actually worried about what his response might be.
“And how did it make you feel?” he asked me.
I continued to look out at the beautiful scenery, avoiding his gaze. “It- it . . .” I took a deep breath. “I guess I was annoyed. I didn’t want to remember how things used to be; I didn’t want to remember him. And the funny thing is that every time I think of him and don’t want to I come here: a place full of our history. Like this tree. We used to sit against it and talk a bunch about dumb things and debate on the most random subjects possible. Then we have the clearing where we would run around and play tag or even just count stars on our backs our find shapes in the clouds like we were fucking five. And the lake where we swam one night and almost –almost- got in trouble; but he of course got us out of it.” I shook my head and covered my face as tears began to form in my eyes.
I was such an emotional mess.
I felt Harry’s arm around my shoulder and I didn’t cringe back from it. I needed someone in that moment.
And I hadn’t had anyone there for me for nearly two years. I guess you could call it refreshing.
It was nice to have someone there for you; someone you feel you can depend on.
I froze.
Someone you can depend on.
I removed myself from under his arm. I so didn’t need this. That’s exactly how I had gotten into this entire thing. I’m too dependent. I depended on my mum to always love me and put me above everything and everyone like mums should do. I depended on my father to father me like some many other men do for their children. I depended on Mac to be there for me every single time my world came crumbling from the moment he held me outside of that bathroom.
I had depended on each and every one of them and all they ever did was disappoint me; fail me.
Abandon me.
I licked me lips and wiped at my eyes. “Um- I’m going to try sleeping again,” I said in a hoarse voice.
“Wait. Jade-”
“Good night, Harry. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said curtly, nodding my head. I hugged my blanket to me and began to run away, ignoring him calling my name.
Why was he doing this? Why was he acting like a true and empathetic human being?
And most importantly, why was it affecting me so greatly?
My, my, MY! So there that is. I’m not sure if this is edited it might be. I just finished watching a bunch of Payzer videos and I have never experienced such strong fangirl emotions. I mean like seriously.
I’ve freaking begun squealing and jumping around on my bed whilst watching Fetus videos and other nish.
I’ve cried a little during some of their Ed songs (Moments if we’re being picky).
I’ve laughed at freaking everything.
But today I freaking wanted to full out UGLY SOB and break down in front of my entire household. I’ve mentioned before how much I love Payzer and I still like cannot get over how fukaking amazing they are. But just like the first time they broke up: hopefully
Love will find a way.
Lion King 2 anybody? Simbas Pride?
I KNOW LOVE WILL FIND A WAY
EVERYWHERE I GO I’M HOME
IF YOU ARE THERE BESIDE ME!
Oh my god, I need to see that movie again now.
1) Anyone else still not over Payzer breakup?
#RIP (Yes, I know hastags are only for twitter but screw you. I’M A BOSS ASS BITCH, BITCH, BITCH)
LOL. Okay, that was out of line.
2) Mac and Jade memories. Their ship name is Jac. Not like Jacke but like Jake.
#CLEVER
Oh, yeah these tags aren't’ stopping. Which is random as Louis because I’m not even all that into twitter really.
3) Stylewall feels!!! Did I get you there with that one? Were you hoping that they would kiss or Harry would just admit that she is more than just a hot nerd he wants to shag?
Because I think its actual lovin he wants from this one ladies.
4) I am so hungry right now but there's nothing to effing eat. We might head to Costco for food. What do you like to buy at Costco? I like to go for the seaweed nori sheets, and the frozen food sections but some of it I don’t know what is good and what isnt’.
Who else purposel goes on the weekend wo there are more free smaples?
High five to you. You there who doesn’t; you get one also.
Because I love all my Bears.
:D
Comment, vote, fan, and promote.
Please, I’m begging you.
5) oh, and anyone else seen Simbas Pride? I ship Kovu and Kiara all the way I mean can you say beautiful?
Bye!
- Angie Bear who is starting to notice how mother trucking long her A/Ns on here are and how effing random they are.
EXTRA: Does my strangeness weird you out at all? I won’t judge you if it does because sometimes even I feel like backing away from myself like WTF?