i looked up at my ceiling in the darkness.
this was something i had gotten quite used to.
looking up at it while laying down on my bed just thinking.
it was probably around one in the morning,
but that was fine.
i didn't really expect to be able to sleep anyway.
my mind always seemed to keep me awake.
i thought of everything in that time in the darkness,
every night.
i thought about myself.
i thought about jungkook.
i thought about my old friends,
and i thought about you a lot.
but i also think about my day or the next.
i just think about what could have happened between us.
or what would have happened if i did die,
or if you never started hooking up with jungkook.
my mind always got the better of me.
even with the sleeping pills,
it still wondered until it couldn't anymore.