i just now got my phone and computer back from my parents.
they thought i was finally stable enough for them.
when i unlocked my phone,
i had over two hundred messages and forty missed calls.
almost all of them from one contact.
yoongi.
all the others from jungkook.
knowing better,
i turned off my read receipts.
"god i fucking miss you"
"i hope they're taking care of you in the hospital"
"i tried to go but they said you couldn't have visitors"
"call me as soon as you wake up i need to apologize and hold you and kiss you and just see you again"
"but if you don't want to see me, i understand"
"i just really want to thank you even if you don't care about me anymore. i just want you to know that i am thankful that you once told me you loved me and for every single kiss or hug we shared and for every single memory we've made. i'm even thankful for those annoying ass fights at three in the morning and those fucking tears because at least they were with you. every time i touched you it was purely out of affection and love as with everything we've ever done. i feel honored to have even met you. please just know one thing."
"i love you, park jimin."