and i promised
i would never
let me hurt
any more
f o u r
Doesn't it scare you, Danyal?
Danyal, a brother in everything but blood. An oasis in my desert of wasting away.
Doesn't what scare me?
L o v i n g, I say. Doesn't it scare you, to love people so much that you become dependent on them, and you want to be by them forever, but you know that in the end you'll end up leaving each other?
Of course it does, says Danyal. But that doesn't mean I'll stop loving everyone just in case our paths are only crossing momentarily. It doesn't work like that.
Then how does it work? I wonder.
Like this, he says. You love with everything, and you love people worth your feelings. And if they stop loving you, or they have to leave, or circumstances change, you love the memories you had. And maybe, one day, they'll come back to you, and maybe they won't. That's the gamble, Sor. So love the people worth loving, and remember if they leave that it was worth the time you had.
But I am not Danyal, who loves with his romantic perception of life and thinks only of what positive outcomes could occur. I am a decaying girl, bearing a decaying mind, and if I can decay then so can love.
Aaron is leaving after summer. So am I.
Aaron and Rosa are travelling across Europe, I am going to college in London, Danyal is finishing his last year of high school here.
They are going to live, and I am going to decay more and more and m o r e and