Dedicated to burnt clay and Hansatuu. A book by @hansatuu and I decided to use the characters from the book in this chapter. Clay girl & far strange. Thank you hafsat
Hansatuu
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Charter 6: Beautiful Clay
HAFSAT'S POV
"Hafsat, the tailor is here with your wedding dress, come and try it on" that was my aunt Safiya screaming at the top of her lungs from the stairs.
Like we wished, my two cousins and I are getting married on the same day. I always thought that would be the most amazing thing ever but I'm not sure anymore. That's why they said 'Be careful what you wish for' it might not always be in your favour. I hope this is in my favour.
I don't know how that happened but well it did. I don't know why Ammar wanted to marry me but I accepted anyways when I saw how happy Baba was about the idea.
I wasn't forced into this marriage but I felt like its more of a forced arranged marriage. There was no love in his eyes when we met, hell I didn't even see curiosity. Who asks about cars and sports on first meetings? But he sent a marriage proposal after that and my parents waited for my answer while I prayed istikara and waited for Allah's guidance. I felt positive about him so I decided to go with it. I still have fear in my heart and a certain doubt but I trust Allah will be with me.
I wanted to marry a handsome, lovely, intelligent and multi talented person. He is all that but there is something missing. Love. I wanted to give love and receive love but we don't have that mutual feeling. I also wanted someone funny and entertaining but this Ammar of a guy seems relatively boring and looks too serious.
I need someone who can withstand my mood swings and love me till eternity. I can't even begin to explain how I planned my dream wedding but from the looks of things its all gone to trash now.
"Hafsat! You need to go and try on your dress, its beautiful. How do I look?" Amina, Anty Safiya's daughter did a 360 twirl in front of me as she asked that. Her wedding gown looked beautiful.
" Wow Amina you look stunning Masha Allah." I squealed and ran down to collect my dress and try it on.
All our gowns were the same but different colors. I loved trying on new dresses but I couldn't care less about the wedding preparations because i was more worried than happy.
After my cousins and Aunts left I busied myself with Instagram. I stalked a few couples that like to show off their relationship and post pictures of each other. The married couples were always cute and all but the ones that are JUST dating are my problem. Their story is always the same.
-Find a girl!/guy
-Date them
-Show them off to the world.
-Fight.
-Let the world know that you fought
-Make up and tell the world
-Finally break up and blame the other. - If they are lucky... They marry each other.
They are insane. But I really don't care cause they keep me entertained on Instagram.
I stalked a few hot guys I saw on discover but then I remembered I was getting married. So I stopped.
I can't even have a new insta crush now..
Just as I was about to close the app - something caught my attention. It was clay_girl's profile picture.
It changed.
Last time I saw it, it was a picture of a clay pot. But now its a picture of a man and a woman holding hands. They were both wearing traditional clothes and her head tie looked like that of a bride's.
I quickly read her post and unlike the cats or sad depressing things she usually posts, her caption was refreshing and it reflected a happy person.
I guess she has found love. How I wish...
I refreshed my timeline and saw far_strange 's update. It was a picture of sun, Rain and Rainbow and his caption was something about finding happiness. But that was not what caught my attention his profile picture did.
It was the same.
Same as clay_girl's.
I quickly stalked both their profiles and after seeing 'married' on far_strange 's and an emoji of ring 💍 on clay_girl's I concluded that they were married. I always thought they were going to be a good couple. I was so right. My heart jumped in happiness for them.
I'd been following clay-girl for more than a year and I followed far-strange few months ago.
You know how you meet people on social network but you feel like you know them personally even if you have never said a word to each other?
These two were like that in my mind.
My happiness died down as I remembered my up coming wedding with a stranger.
I'm glad she found love. I just need to find mine after marriage.
**
My mum noticed my uneasiness through out the day and came to talk to me at night after everyone left.
"Salamu Alaikum, Hafsat are you studying?" Mama asked as she peeped in my room.
"Wa'aliki salam. No mama, its just a novel" I answered putting the novel aside.
"Well I always see you reading books with similar cover on random days. Last time it was 'emergency' what's the name of this one." she asked innocently. I chuckled. I make book covers from the plane white side of calendars. I started doing that in my final year in high school when Baba started seizing my novels cause apparently I wasn't studying enough for a graduating student. Then, I used news papers to cover my novels but I got more creative and wiser with time. I don't do it because of my parent anymore it has become a hobby.
The book mama was talking about was Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist, I named the cover emergency and painted some medical equipments like stethoscope and syringe on it so that alone was misleading.
"This one is a novel even the cover is blank. Reading them keeps me occupied away from the world" I made it sound like a speech but mama didn't buy it. "Like now? " she asked.
"Habibty. I know you are confused right now and you have mixed emotions and you probably regret your decision. Even though you said your heart feels comfortable after praying istikara i know you only agreed to it to make your father happy" she placed her hand on my shoulder as she sat next to me. "I'm sorry"
"Ma... " I scowled.
" I can't tell you that everything will be okay or that Ammar is going to be the most loving person ever but I know his family and they have been praised. Ammar in particular has been praised for his respect, love and endless care towards his family. So now I can only pray and hope that he shares that love with you" by now our eyes were filled with tears. I held both of her hands in mine
"I mean how can he not love a girl like you. Its a given that you will be his family. He should feel blessed" she said smugly making me laugh. "You know that I love you right?"
"I love you more mama" I gave her a bone crushing hug. We spent half of the night talking until we dozed off on my bed only for Baba to wake us up for subhi muttering something under his breath about how we had a mother-daughter night without him.
But I think its only logic that mother-daughter time should be spent with only the mother and the daughter. I just can't help Baba's jealousy. I love him.
Every new sunrise was a reminder that I've got one less night in my parent's house. Its been about five weeks since Ammar first came to see me. He sent a proposal after two weeks and I accepted after about a week. He came back twice, first with Zainab whom I chatted with instead of him. We ended up going to my room and leaving him with Chote downstairs. The second time he came alone but left after about 30 minutes. We didn't talk about anything intimate. I found out he was a cardio surgeon though and he has nine siblings. But not yet a consultant. He is extremely quiet while I am not so quiet but I try not to show that scary side of me to him by making my answers short and asking few questions. I keep acting like a proper girl in front of him. I'm usually very noisy.
What is scary now is how time flies. I mean I just started my housemanship less than two months ago in the obstetrics and gynecology department and now I am getting married in about a week or so. Ammar's family came last week and made their formal greeting to my family but I wasn't allowed to be present. They didn't have to stress it cause as much as I wanted to be there I thought my presence in the hospital was much more needed. Anty Kareema, Rabia's mum was about to start scolding me when I said I wanted to attend the meeting with his family but I quickly added that I was on duty that day so she gave up.
I decided to take a month off from the hospital starting next week when the wedding begins.
Mama and I slept late last night so we only woke up at noon. I don't have to go to the hospital till in the evening cause i had night duty so i went shopping with my family.
I got a call from some of my friends saying that they will fly to Nigeria to attend my wedding. If you ask me that is the greatest news of the month. They made my day. Among my Arab friends there are some from Lebanon, Egypt, Saudi and Sudan. Farouk and Aida, my Sudanese friends already live here in Nigeria. I can't wait to see the rest.
With a smile plastered on my face. I saved lives and studied through out the night.
******
So...... My crush got married today....
I've never seen him, or heard his voice. Not even his shadow.
😢😨😲
I just know his name... Which my friend told me - yep she's his cousin.
Heard about him only once. And he's already getting married. 😭😭😭😭
Hmm.. My heart is shattered into pieces.
Please send me some love.
Flowers . Chicken. Chocolate . Comment. Anything will do.
My account number? DM me.
With love
Xieykhalil
24th may 2016