I feel terrible lying here on this rock-hard bed. My body aches, I can barely move. I've been drifting in and out of consciousness frequently and it's pretty tough to separate dreams from reality in this state. Earlier this day, seeing my grandma precipitately lifted my heart leaving me considerably lighter I had felt in days. But soon I drifted back into consciousness and went through the horrible realization yet again. I would never see her crinkled eyes nor she would run her wrinkled fingers through my hair. The only source of happiness in my life had left this world leaving me alone among blood-sucking hounds.
I cannot fathom how long I've been here. One thing I am certain of though—I'm in a hospital when I should have been cremated and my ashes sprinkled all over the holy places.
I want to laugh at myself for considering this; who would care enough to do so?