I've been an abomination to everyone all my life, clearly visible with the way I've been treated. But I was so naive back then, I never admitted it. I simply kept trying. I did every possible thing to impress my parents, gone way beyond limits to make friends but at the end of the day I never got what I was adamant on achieving.
It sucks to see the rejection and clear dislike for you in people's eyes, especially your parents' when all you've tried to do is outshine in their eyes. It feels like your heart is ripped into million pieces and can never be the same again seemingly far worse than how Dudly Dursely had felt during the dementor attack. Seriously.
I've had a fair share of abhorrence but nothing has ever hurt as how I am feeling now.
Disliked by people is one thing but rejected even by death, I don't know how I can ever recover from this.
It makes me feel so worthless and trashy. If I was so insignificant, why didn't my parents throw me in the gutter the day I was born?