"Rox! I need you, quick!" Ariel called, beckoning me into her dressing quarters.
"What is it? The ceremony is about to start." She closed the door after I had entered. Ariel began to pace, her pearl-colored dress swishing with each movement. Her eyes were trained on the floor. Did she just space out? "Ariel?" I called. She seemed to snap out of her daze, and back into her panic.
"He's here." She said, her hands fidgeting with the little stones on her dress.
"Who?"
"Marcus." Oh, now I could see what she was worried about. Ariel had been with Marcus over the summer while James was away on business. She didn't tell anyone anything until he'd showed up at the rehearsal dinner a few days ago. I could still remember the confused look on James' face when I tried to explain he was just a drunk passerby.
"He's here? At the church?" I opened the door and poked my head out. Sure enough, there he stood, all five-foot-nine-inches of him.
"Yes! You need to get rid of him! Quick!"Ariel panicked. Sheesh! I had already dealt with him once this week, I wasn't so sure I could do it again.
"Ari, please. You didn't see his face last time I kicked him out!" I begged. The guy was a wreck.
"Roxanne, he could ruin everything!" Well maybe you should have thought of that before you fooled around on James..."All because of a stupid mistake."
"Ariel, he really loves you." Her mood instantly soured. Ariel looked at me as though I'd betrayed her.
"He means nothing to me." She hissed. "He was nothing but a trashy summer fling." I love Ariel, really, I do. But sometimes she could be really be cold. I know it's her wedding day, and she has every right to be a bridezilla, but could she really not care for him at all? "If James finds out, he'll call off the wedding for sure this time. You won't be able to get him back for me. Please."
Then again, she did say he was a fling. I nodded and made my way over to him. He stood tall at about 5'11. His eyes were searching the room, no doubt for Ari. He was so distracted that he didn't even see me coming. Normally, I was 5'4, but these heels made me tall enough so that I didn't have to stand on my tip toes to tap his shoulder. He turned confused, and rolled his eyes when he saw me.
"Really? Again?" Marcus asked, as if he thought he'd never see me again.
"Surprised?" I asked, in my most polite voice. I decided that I wasn't going to be the bitch I was last time, but that didn't mean I tried very hard to keep the smirk off my face.
"Not really. After our last encounter, I half expected you to be waiting at the door with a revolver." I laughed at that and smiled. Marcus gave me this lazy smirk. He actually was attractive. He was wearing a suit to blend in with everyone, but in reality he stood out like a sore thumb. He looked like a rock-star. His dark hair was standing up on his head, and his green eyes bore into mine. The air around us changed. "I need to see her."
"You know I can't let you do that." I said, biting my lip. He was really pulling on my heart strings right now. His eyes were pleading with me, and I almost gave in. "She's the one who sent me out here."
"I just want to see her. Please." I sighed. What was I supposed to do? Throw him out? Of course, but I knew what it was like to be in his shoes, wanting something that you could never have.
"Look, I understand, where you're coming from, but she doesn't want you here. I'm supposed to be throwing you out."
"Please, just two minutes." Marcus looked more vulnerable than anyone I had ever seen. I fingered the ugly green dress I had on.
"Okay-"
"What are you doing here Marcus?" Ariel's voice hissed from her doorway.
"Ariel," His tone was so sweet, it almost brought tears to my eyes. "I-"
"I don't want to hear it. You shouldn't be here." She spat coldly as she stepped toward him. "Please leave."
"Only if you come with me." Ariel's face scrunched up as if she were disgusted. "Ariel, we belong together. You were the one that pointed that out-"
"And I thought I made it clear that it was all a mistake." I found myself angered by the way she never let him finish. It reminded me of how James treated me after that night. "I'm happy Marcus. James and I love each other."
"What's so special about him? His money? His job? That squeaky clean image?" Marcus' patience was wearing thin.
"He's everything you're not." Ariel spun on her heels and started toward her room.
"If I recall correctly, that's what you liked about me in the first place." He called at her back. I saw Ariel tense, but she kept walking. "The fact that I was the one thing you did that your parents didn't order."
"Get him the hell out of here!" She yelled, probably to me, and slammed the door. I bit my lip and looked at Marcus. He had a hand on his hip and the other rubbing the back of his neck. She didn't even give him a chance! I know it seems like I just want her to break up with the groom, but that's not it. I know what he's feeling. Maybe if he had a chance to say what he wanted it would be different. He didn't deserve to be cast out like a stray. Ariel would kill me for what I was about to do.
"Look, I can get you into the wedding, but you have to promise me you'll be quiet." He removed his hand and looked down at me.
"Why would you do that?"
"You love her." I shrugged. "You deserve to see her at her happiest and when she's most beautiful." Marcus still looked like he didn't believe me.
"She won't let me in."
"I'll sneak you in, just please, don't object when the time comes." I held my breath. He seemed to be pondering this, at least that's what i hoped he was doing.
"Okay." He agreed finally. I blew out a breath.
"Okay." I smiled. "Just, wait for all the guests to be seated and I'll come seat you at the back before the service. Just stay away from here for now." He nodded and pulled out a lighter. I watched him walk away, lighting his cigarette as he went. I quickly shuffled back to Ari. "Ariel?"
"Is he gone?" She asked me, looking up. I shook my head no. "Figures."
"He's pretty heartbroken."
"Not my problem." She scoffed, but then froze. "You know what? Let him stay."
"What?" I asked, my brows coming together in the process. Didn't she just tell him he was scum?
"Let him stay. He can watch me get married, so that he knows it's really over." Is she serious?
"Uh, Ari I don't think th-"
"Please Rox? You know how much this means to me..." Ariel jutted out her bottom lip in a pout. Her auburn hair was perfectly pinned, and her make-up done in perfect precision. How could I let a day be ruined when she looked this beautiful. My best friend didn't deserve that.
"Okay."
"Just keep an eye on him. Make sure he doesn't say anything, ever." She and the dress were gone before I even processed what she said.
So much for thank you.
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
"I need to do something. I can't just stand here and watch her marry him."
"You can, and you will."
"Roxanne, you can't stop me." As he moved toward the couple at the alter, I held an arm out to stop him.
"Marcus, she's happy. Don't mess up her day."
"I love her."
"Trust me, I all know that." We'd been through this routine twice now, but this time I wasn't going to let him interrupt their wedding and cause a scene.
"She loves me too, and she won't be happy with him."
"Ariel has made it very clear who she loves. She's finally getting the prince she deserves."
"Someone sounds a little bitter." Marcus scoffed. I admit that I was a bit upset over the whole thing, but not enough to ruin this for them.
"Look, if you really love her then you have to let her go."
"Ariel is making a huge mistake."
"Maybe, but if she doesn't want your advice, then let her make it. Loving her means letting her go." I paused and took a breath. "It means letting him learn from the mistakes he's making and being there for him when things fall apart. That's the only way he's ever going to know how much you really care about his well being and happiness." Marcus didn't speak for several moments. That's when I realized the mistake I'd made.
"You love him." it wasn't a question. He knew by the way I'd spoken that I was in love with the groom. "You don't want them to get married either." He blabbed in a harsh whisper.
"No, but it makes him happy, so I'm sucking it up."
"Does he even know how you feel?" Yes.
"No, and I don't want him too."
"Stopping them would be good for all of us!" Marcus sharply whispered.
"There's a reason why you're at the back of the church. Ariel was afraid of all the ideas you have jumping around in your head."
"Then why are you back here?" He challenged. In reality, I was back here for the same reason. Because James knew that I loved him, and he was afraid that I'd open my mouth and tell everyone what happened. But that was not something I wanted to admit.
"I'm here to keep an eye on you. In case you haven't noticed, I'm the only one that still believes that you're not crazy. I'm the only one left pleading your case. Everyone else thinks you're emotionally unstable. Do you want to prove them right?" Marcus was hurt, I could see that. However this was the only way I could get through to him. He needed to be hurt, just for a moment. This way he would be calm enough to at least let them have their day.
"If there is anyone who believes these to should not be wed, speak now, or forever hold your peace." I watched as James' nervous eyes looked for me. When our gazes met, I shook my head and looked away. Marcus had his hands gripping the wooden pew. I looked up at him, tears in my eyes, and smiled. He was staring intently at the bride. Ariel had her eyes shut and her mouth was just barely moving, almost as though she were saying a silent prayer. I placed my hand onto Marcus' and rubbed his knuckles with my thumb. His body tensed, and he finally looked at me. I blinked back my tears and shook my head. Please Marcus, let them have this day. Let them be together. Although I knew he couldn't hear me, I had hoped he would've gotten the message. I watched as his shoulders slumped in defeat. He turned his hand over and clutched mine.
"I now pronounce you, Mr. and Mrs. James Anthony Slater. You may kiss the bride."
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I watched them laughing from across the room. Soon, I would have to make my speech and toast the happy couple to a wonderful life. That was the absolute last thing I wanted. "You aren't drinking?" I heard a voice ask from behind me. I didn't need to look to know it was Marcus.
"I'm not allowed. " I said, effortlessly. "They don't trust me to have alcohol in my system right now since I have a speech later." It was a lie, but Marcus didn't know it. If he thought I was an alcoholic. maybe he'd stop asking questions. I took a sip of the sparkling cider that filled my champagne glass.
"I don't suppose you've changed your mind about talking to them?" I shook my head. Marcus sighed and took a large gulp of his drink. "The least you could do is help me run up the tab for them." I cracked a smile at him. He smiled back and offered his glass to me.
"No thanks." I laughed as he shrugged and chugged the rest.
"Last chance for revenge is tonight." Marcus proclaimed, almost too loud, but I didn't mind. In fact, I smiled more.
"I'm done with these two after tonight. All ties are going to be cut." Marcus looked doubtful, but stuck out his bottom lip and nodded anyway.
"Not a bad idea." He grabbed another glass from the waiter walking by. "Are you sure you can resist Mr. Slater?"
"Can you resist Mrs. Slater?" I fired back, finally breaking my gaze at the newlyweds. A smirk graced his face. It was like he knew a secret no one else did.
"That's not my problem. It'll be Ariel's fault if she can't stay away from me." I rolled my eyes and sipped my sparkling cider. We stood in silence for a few minutes until he spoke again. "You never answered my question..." Ariel's mother grabbed the mic and began talking. I caught a few words of hers before she was signaling me to come make my speech. "Can you resist Mr. Slater?" Marcus asked again, completely ignoring that I had been called away. I smiled politely at the dozens people that were now staring at me.
"It's my only choice." I whispered, handing him my glass before walking up and accepting the microphone. I took the glass from Mrs. Wright and smiled. Breath Roxanne. This is not about revenge. You want them to be happy. "I...I uh, I had this really great speech planned, but you both just look so perfect..." The crowd laughed, and I waited for it to die down. "Ariel, you and I have been best friends since kindergarten. I can still remember playing at recess and getting married to the icky boys that played with bugs and ate the glue, but the one memory that stands out is the one day when Jimmy Sieger asked for your hand in marriage and you told him no. Do you remember?"
"Yes, he hadn't blown his nose that day and his entire sleeve was made of mucus." Ariel smiled big and the crowd laughed.
"That's right, but do you remember what you said after teaching him about Kleenex tissues?" She giggled and shook her head. "You said, 'I can't marry you because I'm waiting for my prince.'" The crowd awe as Ariel leaned down to kiss James. I turned my head and stole a glance at Marcus. He looked tired. I could see the shadows under his eyes and the five-o'clock shadow that clearly meant he hadn't shaved. His shirt was un-tucked and his tie was loosened, but he was still attractive. "You've found him Ariel." I said, turning back to them. "You have married one of the best men I know. He's everything a girl could ever want all rolled up in one." I could hear the edge in my voice. Tears blurred my vision. "I'm so happy for you, both of you." A single tear escaped, and I tried to wipe it before anyone noticed. It was too late though, they had already seen it. "I wish you nothing but the best. Cheers to a good future!" I held up the glass and everyone followed suit. "To James and Ariel!"
"To James and Ariel!" They echoed, and despite what I told Marcus, I chugged that damn glass of champagne and took off toward the doors. The tears were coming down with a vengeance now. It was as if they were my punishment for not speaking up.
"Roxanne!" Ariel called, but I ignored her and went into the bathroom. My stomach lurched and I quickly ran into the stall to throw up. This was another punishment. I should not be drinking. When I finished I went over to the sink to rinse my mouth out and splash some water on my face.
"I'm so sorry." I said, bringing my hands to my stomach. Suddenly, the door opened and I jumped. "James." I muttered.
"Just what in the hell are you trying to do?" He hissed, coming closer to me.
"What are you talking about?" What did he mean? I hadn't done anything wrong.
"Crying and running off like that? Ariel wanted to know what was wrong. I Thought you were going to stay quiet and forget what happened?" He was worried. It was written all over his face.
"James, I promised I wouldn't." I said, bringing my hand up to cup his face. He sighed and closed his eye. "I didn't mean to make it seem that way. I would neverdo anything to hurt you or Ariel." I stepped closer and placed a hand on his chest. "I love you." In a flash, the moment was gone. James roughly pushed me away from him. I stumbled a bit as he backed away.
"Rox, it was a mistake. It was never meant to happen."
"But it did!" I screamed, as the tears returned for the third time tonight. "I don't understand how you can look at me and say that. You obviously felt what I did. You made the choice to sleep with me James!" I yelled again. James shushed me and came closer.
"Roxanne, I was drunk. We were all drunk. I admit that I shouldn't have come onto you but-"
"Oh, don't try to play that game with me. I know you weren't that drunk. You told me you wanted me, that you were through with her."
"I didn't mean it. You knew Ariel and I had a fight. I was angry and upset." James was calm as he spoke to me. "I just wanted one last fling before I was married. I'm sorry you got hurt in the process but-"
"How can you say that?" I cried harder. His face was made of steel. Is that really all I was? Just one meaningless night of his life? A mistake?
"I made my choice. I don't love you. I put up with you because Ariel loves you, but that's all." His face transformed from stern to pure anger. "I made my choice. It wasn't you." I had never seen such a stern look on his gorgeous face. "It was never you." James was ruthless. I searched for any sign I could to see if he was lying, but he wasn't. He really wanted me gone.
"Get out!" I screamed. "Get out! I never want to see you again! I hate you!"
My voice was so loud and sharp that I didn't even recognize it anymore. I watched his retreating back as he left the washroom. I slumped to the ground and just cried. I cried for the love of my life I had lost. I cried for the best friend that I had betrayed. I cried for Marcus and his broken heart.
But I cried hardes for the baby growing in my stomach, that I would never allow to know it's father.