Liz stirred somewhere in the realm between consciousness and dreaming, vaguely aware of a slight chill grazing an exposed ankle. In her haze, Liz could not find it in herself to care enough to try and cover it, too lethargic to move. She was wrapped in a blanket anyway and was nestled into something warm. She resolved to ignore the light that was piercing her closed eyelids, determined to sleep in for once on the one day a week she took off for herself. Liz turned her face to a position that was less intrusive to her slumber. She began to doze off again to the faint scent of soap, the low thump of a slow and steady drum lulling her back to sleep.
What could have been hours or only moments later, Liz felt herself being pulled back to the waking world when she felt her pillow shift beneath her. She heard the slow drum begin to quicken as the warm, firm pillow rose and fell like it had started to breathe heavily. What the—, Liz wondered as she opened her eyes and bolted upright. Something heavy fell off her as she did this, her own heart about to beat out of her chest as a panic set in. It felt like an arm, though Liz could not be sure. Her glasses had fallen off as well sometime during her sleep and the world was currently a bright blur.
She felt the figure next to her move off the couch suddenly, "Liz! I'm sorry— I—"
"Steve?" Liz interrupted, looking toward him blindly; a dark blur silhouetted against the sun streaming in from the windows. She knew his voice but could not make out his features without her glasses. She began to relax.
"Yes? Oh," Steve's voice sounded confused for a moment. Then Liz heard him rummaging briefly before she felt him take one of her hands, gently placing the frames in it. She felt him pull away.
Liz quickly put on her glasses and looked at him. Steve stood a few steps away from her with his hands on his hips, looking at nothing in particular on the coffee table between them. "Good morning," Liz greeted with a sleepy smile.
Steve looked at her, "Good morning," a half-smile played on his lips. There was a noticeable pink hue on his face. Steve's blonde hair was in disarray, and his eyes were a darker shade of blue than usual.
How can he look so perfect after literally just waking up? It's not fair... Liz thought to herself quickly, trying to tame her own bedhead that she knew would be taking on a life of its own.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep..." Steve apologized again after a moment of silence, starting to pace nervously.
"It's okay. I fell asleep, too," Liz offered with a smile. When Steve did not look at her, Liz began to grow anxious. "You okay?" She asked, "You look like you've never spent the night with anyone before," Liz nervously blurted in an attempt to defuse tension. We're friends, right? We can joke about that stuff, right? Liz hoped. Steve stopped in his tracks and looked at Liz with a horrified look, his face growing from a slight pink to a deepening fuchsia quite quickly. Wrong... Liz proceeded to colorfully curse herself internally.
"I, um—" Steve began to stutter but stopped to clear his throat as he stumbled for a response.
"I was just joking!" Liz interrupted, her voice jumpy, "Are you hungry? Do you want breakfast?" Liz asked as she jumped up from the couch and scampered to the kitchen in a rapid attempt to change the subject. This was one of those life lessons she had learned from her beloved Gran. Always offer a guest food to make them feel comfortable. That and the way to a man's heart is through his stomach... Liz mused, though in this particular case, it also served as a means to escape the awkwardness that had just manifested in her living room. Steve followed and stood on the threshold of the kitchen. Liz used the refrigerator door as a shield between them while she reviewed her breakfast options, "I'm out of eggs..."
"Thank you," Steve said softly, "But I need to head down to base."
Liz looked over the fridge door to see Steve furrowing his eyebrows at the screen of his smartphone. She could not help but find it adorable that he could be so perplexed by it. He put the phone in the pocket of the workout pants he had been wearing since last night and looked up to Liz with a half-smile, "I'll see you later?"
Liz closed the door of the fridge and followed him the few steps to the front door of her apartment as Steve opened it, "Yeah, I'll be around," she smiled.
A door opened and closed on the other side of the hallway. Steve and Liz looked to see Kate appear in the corridor, dressed in hospital scrubs. Liz watched her stop short when Kate saw the two of them in the entry to Liz's apartment, "Good morning," she greeted, a smirk growing on her lips, "I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?"
Now it was Liz's turn to look mortified. She forced a response, her voice a bit more highly pitched than usual, giving Kate a pointed look, "Not at all."
Steve crossed the hall to his door while looking a bit tense, "Have a good day, Kate," he said cordially before entering his apartment and closing the door.
Kate came over to Liz, still standing in the doorway, "Do I even need to ask?" She whispered with a smirk.
"Nothing happened! We fell asleep watching a movie," Liz whispered hurriedly.
"So you didn't tell — or do — anything to him?" Kate pressed.
Liz shook her head, "No. But I don't think he feels the same, anyway..."
Kate sighed, "Only one way to find out, Liz," Kate smiled encouragingly, "I'm late, but just think about it," she finished and headed down the stairs.
Liz sighed to herself as she closed her door. It was too early to "think about it". She decided to go back to bed for a while, though Liz found that she had trouble getting back to being as comfortable as she had been earlier that morning...
* * *
A few days had passed since the morning Liz and Steve had woken up together, and Liz had hardly stopped thinking about it since. She could not remember ever feeling quite so safe and as comfortable as she had been that morning. Liz was seriously considering taking Kate's advice and finally telling Steve that she might want to be something more than just friends.
But Liz could not rationalize putting herself in a vulnerable position for someone who was not going to be there. Steve had been busy, as was the new norm, and had not been around much. The twins seemed to notice and began to question Liz about his absence one afternoon.
"Lizzie, how come Steve doesn't hang out with us anymore?" Billy asked while Liz handed him a small box filled with vintage toys. He and his sister, Emma, were helping Liz empty Pops' commercial van in the small parking lot behind Dolan & Sons Antiques by bringing some newly acquired items into the back of the store.
"Yeah, we wanted to show him our new forms from Tae Kwon Do!" Emma added. Liz had been able to convince the twins' mother, Catherine, that at the very least martial arts lessons would be a good summer activity to help keep them busy, in addition to helping with the issue of Billy being bullied at school.
"He's been busy working," Liz explained as she handed Emma a large paper shopping bag containing lace tablecloths, "I'm sure he misses you guys, too," she added with a smile.
"Did you guys break up?" Emma asked timidly.
Liz froze for a moment. What on earth gave her the idea we were even together? She thought in disbelief, "No, we didn't break up. We're just friends— like we've always been. Steve just has other responsibilities now."
The twins looked at each other, communicating something between themselves silently. Liz turned back to the van. As she was closing the double doors of the now empty cargo bed, she heard a familiar voice call out, much to her dismay.
"How'd I know you'd be back here?"
Liz turned to see Jason approaching with a cocky grin. I guess hoping he finally got the hint was too good to be true, Liz thought to herself as her mood fell. Somehow she was not surprised to see him. Liz had gone a few days without responding to any of his attempts at communication, and it looked like now she was going to pay for it.
"What are you doing here?" Billy interjected before Liz could respond to Jason. Liz looked at the twins, identical scowls covering their faces.
"Hey! Is that any way to greet your former neighbor? I thought we were pals," Jason replied with mock hurt in his voice.
"No, we're not," Emma stated with detest.
Liz stooped down to the twins' height as she faced them, "Why don't you guys bring that stuff to Pops. I'll be in soon," Liz said kindly so that they would be less likely to protest. The twins glanced at each other with uncertainty before silently agreeing to go inside. Once the back door had closed behind them, Liz turned to Jason and sighed, "What do you want, Jason?" Liz was more tired of this situation than anything. Most of her anger toward Jason had faded over recent months, but his persistence for trying to stay a part of her life had grown tedious and wearisome.
"To see you, obviously," Jason started with a smug tone. Liz was not amused, and Jason appeared to pick up on that as she scowled. His demeanor quickly softened as he continued, "I wanted to see if you'd go for a coffee with me."
Liz knew Jason well; after all, they had dated for almost a year, and she could tell by the look in his chocolate eyes that he was being sincere. She sighed and began walking to the driver's door of the van, "If I had any interest in spending time with you, I would have responded to one of your dozens of text messages and voicemails," Liz stated with exasperation. He was really trying her patience.
"Come on, Lizzie," Jason pleaded behind her, "I messed up. I made one mistake, and I'm trying to make up for it. I don't understand why you won't give me the chance."
Liz opened the door to the van roughly, "Jason, you chose this. You chose to end it and move out, and after months of silence, then tell me it was because you chose to completely violate my privacy." Liz's temper was beginning to flare. It was not the first time she was telling him this. Liz climbed up a step at the base of the door so that she could reach her messenger bag that she had left between the driver and passenger seat. The dog tags hanging around her neck clinked over an armrest.
"Liz, please," Jason said softly from behind her, his tone unfamiliar.
Liz was expecting more to follow, but there was silence. After pulling her bag out of the crevice between the seats, Liz turned to look down at Jason. One hand clung to the steering wheel for balance as she stood on the step of the van. She could not recall ever seeing him like this before.
Jason's eyes looked desperate, pleading, "Can we please talk about this?"
Under her anger, Liz was fighting an unexplainable hint of guilt that was beginning to grow in her chest. She took a moment to really look at Jason for the first time this afternoon, albeit with narrowed eyes. His face looked tired without his signature cocky grin, his black hair had not been styled into its typical short fauxhawk, and she could make out the hint of dark circles under his dark eyes.
Liz made the mistake of looking into Jason's eyes long enough to see suffering deep within them, and Liz found that she felt a small amount of pity for him. Almost against her will, Liz's good nature took control; a characteristic that was cause for much self-loathing, as others often found and easily exploited it. After a long moment, Liz reluctantly agreed. She would at least let Jason get whatever he wanted to say off his chest. Quite honestly, there was a part of her that was interested to hear it.
"Five minutes," Liz ruled, "If I give you that, will you promise to stop blowing up my phone?"
"I— You'll never hear from me again." Jason was very serious when he said this, though Liz found it way too good of a promise to be true.
Liz stepped down from the van and slammed the door. She turned back to Jason and crossed her arms, "Good. Speak your piece."
"I— I know that you're angry. I know you feel like I betrayed your trust, and I'm not going to try to convince you otherwise," Jason paused for a moment as if expecting Liz to interrupt him. When she remained silent, he continued, "I should have talked to you. But I was afraid..." Jason looked away from her as he trailed off.
"Afraid of what?" Liz pressed, her expression softening. She had never seen this vulnerable side of him before. Jason had always been confident and charming, which Liz theorized as the main reason she had been attracted to him in the first place. Liz considered herself to be neither of those things.
"Afraid of how I felt— how I feel about you," Jason corrected himself as he moved closer to Liz, "I was so sure that you were leaving. Because who in their right mind would pass up that kind of an opportunity?"
Liz shifted her weight from one foot to another uncomfortably, "Are you calling me crazy?" Her hands moved to clench the strap of her messenger bag tightly. Maybe I am... Stark Industries was the chance of a lifetime. I'm never going to be that lucky again.
"No, Lizzie. I was the crazy one," Jason explained, regaining her attention, "I was an idiot for thinking that if I somehow took control of the situation, that somehow it would be easier to forget about you."
"There was no 'situation'," Liz shook her head in exasperation, "I wasn't going anywhere. You brought all of this down on yourself."
"I know that now," Jason's eyes bored into Liz's as he stepped toward her slowly, "And I regret it every day. I never stopped loving you, Liz."
Liz was taken aback by this. He only ever said that when we— Liz tried to put the thought out of her mind, but images of them together came flooding back to her that she thought she had buried long ago. Liz's heart rate began to quicken noticeably as her nervousness grew. Her eyes shifted back and forth between Jason's as she searched for a response.
Jason continued before she could say anything, "And I'm sorry."
"Jason, I—" Liz started.
"You can't tell me that I meant nothing to you," Jason interrupted, and he was right. Jason knew. He knew because she had opened up to him about everything. He knew he had been her first love; her first long-term relationship; her first significant other with whom she had decided to be intimate, in every sense of the word...
"Please, Lizzie," Jason brought her out of her reverie, "I miss you. I miss talking to you. I miss those freckles, looking into those beautiful eyes," Jason was uncomfortably close to Liz now, and she felt paralyzed; as if she had been stunned.
Liz looked into his eyes and could plainly see love there. All of the good memories she had worked so hard to forget were returning, somehow not quite as tainted as they had seemed before. Liz was finding it hard to recall Jason ever doing her wrong before his one major screw-up at the end. Have I just been so blinded by my own stubbornness this whole time?
Jason moved even closer and lifted a hand to brush his fingers lightly against her cheek, "I miss the softness of your skin in my bed..."
The moment he touched Liz, the rage that had been lying dormant for so long erupted within her. Liz had trusted Jason, and she did not give her trust to people easily. She had trusted him and loved him enough to give herself to him completely, and the fact that Jason had turned his back on that so easily was unforgivable.
"No!" Liz shouted as she smacked his hand away, "You don't get to touch me!" He knew. He knew exactly what he was doing when he left. He knew how much damage he would inflict, and he did it on purpose!
"Lizzie, calm down," Jason said, gently putting his hands on her shoulders in an effort to soothe her.
Liz's blood began to boil as she took a step back. Before she knew it, her hand had clenched into a fist, "I said hands off!" Liz flexed her entire arm as her fist connected with Jason's clefted jaw. The force of the punch had been enough to make him turn his head, but Jason's feet stayed firmly planted on the ground.
"What the hell, Liz?" Jason yelled at her in disbelief, rubbing his chin.
A half-second later, Liz saw Jason being pulled away from her. He was slammed into the side of the van, causing it to sway on its wheels. Liz was shocked to see that it was Steve who had Jason pinned there. Jason was of a comparable height to Steve, but Steve had Jason held up by the t-shirt. Jason's heels were off the ground.
"Why is it that whenever she's upset, it has something to do with you?" Steve's eyes pierced Jason, his voice barely above a growl. Liz could see Steve's back muscles flexing under his fitted blue workout shirt.
"Listen, man. I'm not looking for trouble—" Jason strained against his compressed lungs. The van groaned on its suspension as Steve pressed Jason harder against it.
Things were quickly getting out of hand. Liz had never seen this side of Steve before. The intensity of his expression brought Liz back to her senses, "Steve, put him down," she said breathlessly as she raised her small hand to his forearm.
Steve did as he was told, although he seemed reluctant to do so. He took a step back from Jason and turned to Liz, "Are you alright?" Steve's eyes studied her with worry, looking for anything that might be wrong.
A throbbing pain was growing in her knuckles. Liz examined her fingers as she opened and closed them several times, "I'm fine. I just... lost my temper..." Liz replied.
Steve saw this and commented, "You're hurt," he did not hesitate to take her hand and gently begin to test her dexterity. It amazed Liz how Steve could go from such brute strength to tenderly caressing her joints in a matter of seconds.
"It was self-inflicted," Liz explained. Though she was sure that her hand would be sore for the next few days, Liz had to admit that it felt worth it. Not only did she inflict some damage against Jason, but now Steve was holding her hand. His hands feel more callused now than they used to be...
"Was that really necessary?" Jason asked Liz, a harsh tone leaking through.
Liz looked at Jason. Part of his jaw was beginning to turn pink. Steve released Liz's hand slowly and glared at him.
"Hot-button issue," Liz stated without remorse, eyes narrowing. He knows full well that he was my first... And that it was a big deal to me...
"I didn't mean to upset you," Jason started as he straightened out his black t-shirt. As he looked at Liz, his eyes seemed defeated, "But I think I understand now why it's seemed so easy for you to forget about me," Jason's gaze landed on Steve briefly as he said this, as if to call out Steve as being the primary factor. Jason then quickly averted his eyes to the ground, "I think my five minutes are up," he continued and took a few steps away. Jason looked at Liz one more time, "I'm sorry, Liz— for everything." With those last words, he walked quietly out of the parking lot, not waiting for a reply.
Liz watched Jason until he turned around the corner of the building and was out of sight. She noticed Steve watching her curiously, "Well, that's the end of that. Finally," Liz stated in relief. For the first time since she had run into Jason on the train a few months ago, she felt that she was finally rid of him.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Steve asked worriedly, eyeing her hand.
Liz looked at him and smiled, "Yeah, I'm okay. I might have trouble holding a pencil for the rest of the day, but I'll survive," she brushed off, "I thought you were supposed to be training or something the rest of the day. How'd you know I was back here?"
"Let's just say two little birds told me," Steve smirked.
Liz rolled her eyes and smiled, "Were these little birds named Billy and Emma, by chance?"
"Yes, actually," Steve confirmed, "And they seem to have some very strong opinions about... your visitor. I had to remind Billy to watch his language."
Liz shook her head, trying not to laugh, "I have no idea where he keeps picking that stuff up. But the twins never did like Jason much. In hindsight, I should've trusted their character judgment..."
Steve shrugged, "We all have things we regret," he walked a few steps away and bent to pick up something from the ground. It was his navy blue jacket. Liz watched as Steve swatted off any dirt it may have collected.
He must have dropped it in his rush to get between me and Jason, Liz theorized, but nevertheless, it made her curious, "What are you doing with a jacket in the heat of the day during June? Even I'm hot for once," Liz asked. She was, in fact, without a hoodie — a very rare thing — and comfortable to be in only a light blue tank top as the sun warmed her.
"I've been riding my motorcycle to and from base," Steve explained, "Cuts down on the wind chill and adds a little protection against road debris..."
Liz felt her eyes light up and smiled at the mention of his bike, "You've been holding out on me! I still have yet to see this thing."
Steve was smiling, "It's out front. Would you... would you like to go for a ride?" He asked tentatively. He seemed to second-guess himself before posing the question.
"Do you even have to ask?" Liz was already moving past him, heading around toward the front of the store. Liz looked over her shoulder quickly and saw Steve following behind her with a grin on his face. She was suddenly very excited. She had not been on a motorcycle since she was a kid...
* * * Author's Notes * * *
I am so sorry for the slow updates! Thank you for being patient. Life and work have been keeping me quite busy to the point where I have had hardly any free time. I post periodic status updates to my profile, so if you want to stay in the loop to have a better idea about when updates will be posted, please feel free to follow me! My mind is still blown at the overwhelming response this story has received since being featured. Thank you all for your encouragement :-)
As always, thank you to whimsymuse or being my extra pair of eyes!
I know that there have been some strong feelings about Jason from you guys prior to this chapter. What do you all think about him after reading this one? I'd love to know!
I hope this chapter lives up to all of your expectations. Thanks for reading!
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