ONE YEAR (and a bit) LATER
Isis couldn’t quite believe she was here. Had you told her a year ago that she’d be at theatre college in a year’s time, she would have laughed, knowing it to be almost impossible.
But here she was, putting her things in order in her room, not at Lear College, but at another college, one relatively nearby to where she lived, and one which had, miraculously, offered her another full scholarship.
She’d had to give up the first scholarship. Though she’d been desperate to go to university, and Harry had urged her to go, he’d soon gotten so ill that the doctors didn’t think that he’d live more than a few months. She’d cancelled all of her plans, dropped everything, and focused entirely on nursing him back to health the best she could. And, of course, she’d had to give up on going to university. She wouldn’t have had time.
Hanging her last piece of clothing neatly in the provided cupboard, Isis surveyed her new room with a satisfied smile. Since her mother had dropped her off, she’d been working hard to get as settled in as she could, liking to be as organised as she could.
Though her mother had been through a few bouts of deeper depression during the previous year, overall, she’d transformed from the woman she had previously been, refusing to leave the house. Going out of the house more frequently as she got used to being around people, she had flourished, and ended up getting a job, something which Isis was very proud of her for. The job had meant extra income, too, so Seb had been able to focus on getting a better job than the one he already had, moving up the ranks at one of the fast food outlets to take on more responsibility. Her mother had most recently bought a small car, and had been practising her driving once more, which saved Isis a great deal of walking.
Isis herself had got a job too, working in the fancy dress shop with the wizened old man who told her tales of how he and his wife had met, and made her laugh with his sayings. He’d asked her once about Kael, but, seeing the stricken expression on her face at the mention of his name, he’d nodded, and immediately changed the subject.
Isis hadn’t seen Kael for a long time, only once since they’d ended things, when they picked up their exam results after the summer. They’d made eye contact across the room, and her heart had felt suddenly choked as if she was about to pass out. She had had to swallow the feelings that had risen in her chest, made harder by the pained look in his eyes as he smiled grimly at her before turning and vanishing out of the door. All hopes she’d had that he would move on and find someone else suddenly seemed futile. It didn’t look like she’d ever see him again, except for in her dreams, where the memories of those brief months they’d had together haunted her, replaying themselves, sometimes adapting themselves so that they could stay together forever.
But that hadn’t worked out, had it? She needed to stop thinking about him, really. It had been over a year now, and she really should have got over it. Had she, in reality? No. Not at all.
With a sigh, Isis got up. Best not to think about Kael. That always lead to feeling miserable, and when she was in this incredible place, she didn’t want to be miserable at all.
Picking up some of the sheets of paper which the college had requested that she read, she locked the door of her room, and went off, in search of somewhere to sit and enjoy the sunshine.
It was quite an armful. Holding the papers to her chest, she went down a staircase, turned, and banged straight into someone coming towards her.
The papers flew everywhere. ‘Sorry!’ Isis apologised, immediately ducking down and scrabbling about to pick them all up, not even looking at who she’d bashed into. Brilliant. First day at university, and she’d bashed into someone, in true secondary school fashion.
As she reached for a bit of paper, hands grabbed both her wrists. Startled, she glanced up, and her heart skipped a beat.
Before her, was the boy who had barely left her mind in the past year, looking at her in shock.
Slowly standing up, his hands still gripped tightly around her wrists, she swallowed, painfully. ‘Kael?’
‘Isis.’ Before either of them could think, Isis wrapped her arms around his waist, and hugged him. It was as if they’d never been apart, the feel of his body was precisely the same. The papers scattered around them, they stayed like that, Kael’s head resting on top of hers and his hands stroking sensually up and down her spine for an immeasurable amount of time.
When they broke free, Isis looked up at Kael, shiny eyed. He’d let his hair get a little longer, and his face had strengthened in the time away, she thought. His jaw line looked more pronounced, making him seem older, a light dusting of stubble scattered across his chin and upper lip.
‘What are you doing here?’ he asked, smiling down at her in that tender way she remembered so well. ‘I thought you had a scholarship to Lear?’
‘I did, but I had to give it up,’ she said. ‘Then, out of the blue, this college rang to ask if I would like the scholarship for here, as Lear had recommended me.’
‘Really?’ Kael grinned. ‘That’s fantastic.’
‘Why are you here?’ she asked, quickly leaning down to scoop up all the paper. ‘Did you take a gap year?’
Kael nodded. ‘Yes. I went travelling; all around Europe, places like that. Then I applied here; I didn’t want to get in your way if you were just starting your second year at Lear, like I thought you were.’
Isis bit her lip. He hadn’t wanted to get in her way?
Kael stuck his hands in his pockets, looking at his shoes. ‘Er, I understand if you don’t want to, Is, but do you want to get a coffee or something? Catch up?’
Isis smiled. ‘Of course I want to. I’ll just get my things.’
Heading back up to her room, her head was spinning. Kael was here. Kael was here and he was in her year, and he had hugged her and her very skin had thrilled at his electric touch. She put the papers down, gathering her things as quickly as she could.
He was waiting for her at the foot of the stairs, and, as they walked out of the halls, going through a small door, they made their way into the small town centre in which the campus was based.
Neither of them said much, both feeling a bit too shocked to just make light conversation. Kael looked at her as she walked beside him. Her figure had developed since he’d last seen her; she’d put on a bit of weight, enough to fill out her curves and make her look less like a twig. She was still slender, however, and hadn’t grown, but she looked older thanks to the curves and larger chest. Kael tore his eyes from the latter area. His feelings about her body hadn’t changed at all, then. And neither had his feelings about her as a person. As soon as he’d laid eyes upon her, feelings of tenderness and love had immediately flooded through him, and he’d struggled to restrain himself from gathering her into his arms and never, ever letting go.
Kael tried to breathe deeply. She was taken. Forget your feelings, he told himself, as he had countless times over the past year.
It was no good. He loved her. He bloody loved her and there was nothing else he could do about it.
It had been a year of faking smiles for Kael. Every good experience had been tinged with sadness; his instinct had been to tell Isis immediately, and it had taken every last drop of his will power to not pick up his phone and call her. Or pick up a bottle and drink until he was drunk enough to numb the pain. It was a mark of just how much she had impacted him that he hadn’t done so. Well, not excessively, anyway.
Everything had reminded him of her. Everything. He found himself remembering little details every five minutes; the way her eyes had sparkled when she laughed, the way her hair had shone like gold in the sunlight, the way she’d looked at him between kisses, wide eyes rimmed with perfect lashes, the freckles speckled across her skin. He’d dreamed of her constantly, she haunted him. The private inside jokes they’d had had haunted him too; they weren’t funny when he tried to explain them to anyone else. No one else had ever quite got him like Isis had, and that was that.
He had tried to accept the loss of the girl he loved, but it wasn’t as simple as it sounded. He knew there would never be another. How could there be? The idea of kissing another made him feel ill, no one would ever compare to Isis.
Deep breaths, he reminded himself. Deep, deep breaths.
Reaching a rather sweet, vintage looking coffee shop, he held the door open for her, and, as she found a small table, followed her to it.
When their coffees had arrived, steaming hot and smelling delicious, they looked at each other across the table. Isis wasn’t sure what to say first.
‘How’s your mum?’ inquired Kael, politely taking the issue out of her hands.
Isis smiled. ‘Much better,’ she told him. ‘She has a job, she’s been driving me around in her car, and she’s happy.’ She smiled again, stirring sugar into her black coffee. ‘I couldn’t ask for more than that.’
‘And Freya? Seb?’
‘Freya’s in her last year at primary school,’ Isis said. ‘It’s scary how fast she’s growing up. And Seb is working hard, going up the ranks at the fast food place. He’s got a girlfriend too.’
‘Good for him,’ Kael said, with a smile. ‘Did you give her the sort of treatment he gave me?’ he asked, cheekily. ‘Staring her down with a look that threatened disembowelment should she hurt him?’
‘Did he give you that sort of look?’ Isis asked, wide eyed. ‘I’d forgotten!’
Kael nodded. ‘It was quite frightening, if I remember rightly.’
Isis laughed. ‘How about your parents?’ she asked. ‘How are they?’
Kael smirked. ‘Mum’s pregnant,’ he said, with a devilish look. ‘And she is highly unimpressed.’
‘Really?!’ Isis chuckled. ‘So you’re going to have a younger sibling? That’s adorable.’
Kael laughed. ‘Mm. I’m a bit too old to appreciate a sibling, but she’s due next month so I guess I’d better get used to the idea. It was quite a shock.’
‘I’m not surprised!’ Isis said. ‘Wow.’
Kael took a sip of his coffee; it was far too hot, and burnt his tongue, making him wince. Isis tutted, with a grin. ‘Impatient as ever,’ she commented, blowing the surface of her own coffee with practised ease.
‘Perfect as ever,’ he retorted, with a grin.
Isis wrinkled her nose. ‘Perfect?’
He nodded. There was a pause. ‘Er, how’s Harry?’ Kael inquired, desperately wanting to know.
Isis chewed her lip. ‘Recovered. We thought he only had a few months to live, but the doctors managed to get his kidneys transplanted without the complications they thought it would bring. The cancer’s gone.’
Kael smiled. ‘You must be relieved.’
‘Oh definitely,’ Isis replied. ‘We were over the moon when the all clear came through.’
She looked happy too, thought Kael. She really had got over him. ‘That’s… that’s great,’ he said. He’d been selfish enough to wish that she missed him.
She was smiling at him, the smile lighting up every corner of her face. He wondered how she’d turned from being distraught at not being able to be with him, to this joy at being with another man. ‘Kael, Harry and I aren’t together anymore,’ she told him. ‘If you hadn’t already gathered.’
‘What?!’ Kael almost spat out his mouthful of coffee. ‘You’re not?’
Isis shook her head, looking rather amused. ‘No.’
‘Since when?!’
Isis frowned, mulling it over. ‘Mm, three months now. Yeah, three. It was after he got the all clear.’
‘Who broke up with who?’ he asked, tightening his grip on the handle of his mug.
‘He ended it,’ she said. ‘Apparently it was him, not me that was the problem. We were just acting like friends, but he’d kiss me and cuddle me… I tried to pretend that I liked it, but he must have had some inkling that every kiss was a lie. So he ended it.’ She beamed at him. ‘Also he had a crush on one of the student nurses on placement at the hospital,’ she added. ‘He’s dating her now.’
‘So you’re not in love with him?’ Kael asked, unable to believe his ears.
She laughed. ‘Of course I’m not! It’s you, Kael. It’s always been you.’
Kael literally felt as if fireworks were going off in his chest. He desperately wanted to sweep her into his arms and kiss her until she saw no one but him, but he had to make sure. He’d been so certain he’d never be with her again, that it was having a hard time sinking in. ‘Really?’
‘Yes.’ Isis flushed, realising what she’d said. ‘Have you had any girlfriends?’
Kael scrunched his nose up. ‘Well, I had a few flings to attempt to take my mind off of you. But it didn’t work. I was still thinking of you day and night.’ He paused. ‘I gave up with dating ages ago. I think I gave up with it when you said I had to let you go.’
Isis fiddled with her coffee cup, tapping her fingernails against it. ‘I’m sorry I did it, Kael. But I had no choice.’
‘You did the right thing,’ Kael reassured her. ‘But why didn’t you use all those email addresses and phone numbers I gave you?’
Isis gave him a rueful look. ‘I couldn’t just crawl back when he’d had enough of me, could I? That would have been unfair on you. I thought you’d probably long gotten over me anyway.’
Kael grinned. ‘Of course I hadn’t, you daft girl.’
‘Doesn’t it seem a bit cruel on my part: me coming back to you when Harry’s ended it with me? It sounds like I’m using you,’ she said, her brow creased.
Kael merely smiled. ‘Is, you’re coming back to me because we’re meant to be together. That’s why. It’s because I’m in love with you, and I never want you to leave me for one more second, alright?’
Isis grinned. ‘Alright.’
Kael threw some money down onto the table- more than enough to pay for the drinks several times over- and stood up, holding his hand out to her. ‘Come on then.’
‘Where?’ Isis inquired, her eyes narrowed with suspicion, but dancing with glee.
‘Somewhere where I can kiss you without half the world watching,’ he told her, as she took his hand. ‘Sound good?’
‘Sounds perfect,’ Isis said, beaming.
They made it outside. Just. As Isis turned to look up at him, he couldn’t hold it in any longer, and pulled her into his arms, tilting her head to his, and letting their lips finally meet.
Over the past year, Isis had dreamt about his kisses over and over and over again, replaying every second she had spent in his arms, how his lips had trailed over her skin, how he’d looked at her, how the feelings rushing through her had made everything else seem insignificant, bland and worthless. But the memories were nothing on the reality.
Blown away by the feel of their skin touching, it was all Isis could do to stay standing, her knees suddenly weakened by the mind numbing feelings he was giving her. She let her arms snake around his neck, her fingers winding themselves in his longer hair, stroking through it, making it stick up wildly as if he’d just been through a hedge backwards.
He bit down on her lower lip, making her fingers clench his hair as she groaned into his mouth, the feelings making her lose all inhibitions. Lifting her so her legs locked around his waist, clinging onto him, Kael walked her backwards, down a small alley where they could be alone, and, pressing her back against a wall, he let his tongue thoroughly explore her mouth, as if checking to see if it had changed at all in the year they’d been apart.
Flirting delicately with her teeth, he twined his tongue around her own, moaning softly as she gently bit down on his own tongue, mingling a mild stab of pain with pleasure in a way he found strangely intoxicating. His hands trailed lazily up her sides, then stroking down the smooth curve of her arms to find her fingers, and lace them together with his.
When they finally stopped, breathing erratically and look at each other with lust filled eyes, Kael grinned, resting his forehead against her own, feeling the soft baby hair around her hair line brushing against his skin in an innocently sensuous way he liked far more than was probably good for him.
‘You… you’re amazing, Isis,’ he murmured.
She raised an eyebrow. ‘Mmm?’
‘Mmm,’ he replied. ‘I didn’t realise just how much I’d missed you, baby.’
‘Me neither,’ she answered. ‘It’s been awful without you.’
He kissed her again, lingering slowly over her lips as if making up for lost time. After a while, he stopped, looking thoughtfully at her. ‘Is, we never had our third date, did we?’
‘No,’ she replied, with a laugh. ‘We didn’t.’
‘I said I’d give you three dates to make you see that we could work, didn’t I?’ he inquired.
She pressed a casual kiss to the tip of his nose. ‘I don’t need three dates to make me see that we could work, mister,’ she told him. ‘Far less than three was enough to convince me.’
‘It was, huh?’
She nodded. ‘I think after Date Number One I’d fallen pretty much in love with the idea of having you as a boyfriend.’
‘I try my best,’ Kael said, with mock modesty. ‘So we’ll give it a go then?’
‘I think we deserve it, after all this time apart,’ Isis replied. ‘Don’t you?’
Kael gave her a look. ‘What do you think?’ he asked, and, as she giggled, leant down to steal another kiss, one, he hoped, of many that were to come in the future.