Today was our final visiting day. Haley was partied out, Sean was having withdrawals without us, and I've just about hit my limit for being home. Haley and I had separate things to finish up on before meeting back out front for our drive home.
Her's was of course a fun shop around with a friend and mine was a book club full of middle-aged women cooing at me about things my mom has told them. Most of which may have been a bit exaggerated in my favor. Haley was smart in cutting straight to the mom day when we first arrived.
But that was just the morning. It was only the beginning to a day my mom couldn't stop going on about.
She drags me to the store and raves about all the cooking and planting and a bit of light repainting I could help her with before I go. She even suggests we stop at the mall to get some pictures taken so we can slap them on a Christmas card this year - even if last Christmas was just a few months ago.
Luckily I was able to talk her out of that one. But I wasn't able to talk her out of sharing very intimate information about her new love life. Which I never want to relive again.
As we're pulling up to our house a figure catches my eye. My eyes go wide and I immediately duck down. "Keep driving," I rush to my mom. "What?" But I don't have enough time to explain when she's pulling into our driveway.
I sigh, trying to quickly think up some excuses and an explanation for my mom on who the very tall boy standing outside our home was.
"Who's that?" My mom mutters, shutting off the engine with a sly grin. "A friend," I reply coolly. "He's cute," she gushes, getting out of the car before I can give her a behavior warning. I brace myself, stepping out of the car to hear her introduce herself as my mother.
Luke shakes her hand with a smile and tells her his name. "I knew Penelope was meeting with friends a lot but I didn't know they were this charming," my mom hums embarrassingly. "Oh, I don't know about charming," Luke chuckles.
Luke's not great with compliments. He says he's always been quite awkward and compliments bring that out in him since he never knows what to say to them. So he gets a bit bashful a lot of the time. His cheeks getting a nice rosy tint, his hands shoving in his pockets and his small unsure smile taking over his features. He hates it but I think it's adorable.
Not that I'd ever tell him that.
"Um, mom, didn't you say you had to set the oven or something?" I turn to her in hopes that she'll get the hint. It takes her a second but she catches on. "Oh! Yes. The oven. I'll just be inside, bring the bags on your way in?" She says to me which I nod. "It was nice meeting you," she smiles at Luke.
"And you're more than welcome to stay for lunch." Luke smiles bright, I wonder how many interviews it took him to perfect that smile. "Thank you, but I actually have plans for lunch. It was so nice meeting you too, P talks about you all the time." I furrow my brows at him.
"All good things I hope," my mom chirps with a giggle. "Of course," I smile with a nod, Luke biting back a giggle as I gesture her away. I've only ever really complained about her to him - aside from the nice childhood stories.
"What are you doing here?" I turn to him when she's gone inside. "Wait, actually. How do you even know where I live?" "Haley," he shrugs as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Which maybe it sort of was. I shake my head. "What do you want?"
His eyebrows knit together and he frowns. "I knew you were mad at me." "Why would I be mad at you?" I huff, walking back to the car to retrieve the shopping bags. "I don't know, that's what I came here to find out," he states, following close behind me. "That's a bit weird don't you think," I mutter shutting the car door.
"It's not like you'd answer my call," he retorts, grabbing the bags from my hands. "What are you doing? Why are you grabbing my groceries?" I question, reaching out to grab them back.
"I'm helping," he holds them away from my reach. "Luke," I pout, with my arms crossed. "You're not getting them back until you tell me why I haven't heard from you in a day." My lips set in a firm line.
"You know, when a friend asks if you got home alright the polite thing to do is to let them know you haven't died." I roll my eyes. I don't have time for this.
"Don't you have to be somewhere else? Lunch date with your girlfriend or something?" I grumble. He narrows his eyes at me curiously and grows a slightly amused smile. "What?" I shrink under his gaze. "Nothing," he shrugs. "Then stop looking at me like that."
"Like what?" He chuckles. "Like...that," I gesture at his face. "I don't have lunch plans," he clarifies lightly. "What are you talking about? You just told my mom you did." "I didn't know if you'd want me to stay for lunch or not, it was just safer," he says nonchalant.
"Well make some because you're not invited to stay," I sniff. "Your choice," he shrugs. "But were you really not going to say goodbye?" My chest tightens. "Don't be so dramatic Lucas, it's not like we're never going to see each other again, I'm not moving halfway across the world."
It was meant to be a lighthearted tease but then it settles in. Luke doesn't actually live here in LA and even when he does live here it's only for a few weeks before he's off traveling all over. I guess I may have forgotten that factor in our friendship in my clouded-with-hurt mindset.
"Do you want to stay for lunch?" I mumble under my breath in annoyance. Of course I wasn't going to be able to carryout this cold shoulder.
Stupid Luke and his stupid job and his stupid face.
"I would love to," he grins widely, well aware he got his way.
-
"So. This is your bedroom huh?" Luke prompts for conversation, looking around the bedroom I spent most of my teenage years locked away in. He looks odd in here. Maybe because I'm not used to anyone other than my friends or mom being in here. Or maybe because I'd just seen his face in a magazine at the grocery store not even two hours ago.
"The one and only." I nod. "...well, actually, not the one and only. Because San Fransisco. But the one and only that I grew up in. Look, it even still has my initials carved in the bed."
I point at the embarrassing love initials hidden in a corner on the wooden headboard.
"Your last name starts with an S?" I realize then that I'd never actually told him my last name. "Nope." "What?" Luke asks in confusion. "The S is for Skywalker," I hum. He snorts out a laugh. "Are you using me for some weird fantasy because of my name? You do know my last name is Hemmings right?"
I roll my eyes. "Ha. Ha. It was actually Anakin not Luke so..." I send him a petty look. "Anakin?" "Yes. And I don't want to hear anything negative you have to say about it. He's the only boy I'll ever love."
"Bit dramatic," Luke chuckles. I shut the door in order to show him the large poster on the back. "I was a bit obsessed." "But he-" "Was great. I know." I cut him off. "You're so weird," he shakes his head with a fond smile. "If you think that's weird wait until you see the pictures of a goldfish funeral we held once."
Luke's wandering around the room now, looking at the different things I had hanging up and for some reason it makes me very self-aware. It's not like there's anything bad up but it was just personal things. Things I hadn't shared - nor did I ever think I would, with people outside of my two best friends and Kail.
"Goldfish funeral?" Luke cocks a brow at me, leaning against my dresser. "Yep. It's exactly what you're thinking. Small casket, some last words, the whole nine." "That's definitely not what I was thinking but I need to see this," he muses.
We spend the next 20 minutes sitting on my bed and flipping through some of my old photo albums in search of the goldfish funeral. Luke finds most of them hilarious with the exception of a couple that he softly smiles at and says are cute; like my first day of school and one where I'm wearing a shirt way too big for me covered in dirt from head to toe.
Which definitely doesn't make my cheeks warm.
Finally we get to the goldfish funeral. "Oh my god. Is that a poem?" Luke all but shouts, grabbing the album from my hands. "I forgot about that! I wrote it for class and my teacher must have felt sorry for me because she gave me an A and showed it at some poem competition night we had."
"Did you win?" Luke giggles. "No. Stupid Lindsey Perry won. She was the worst and everyone knows she just re-used her older sister's one." I go on a small rant. Luke watches carefully with a soft smile and dancing blue eyes.
"Well screw Lindsey Perry, I didn't read it but I know her poem sucked," Luke punctuates his statement with a firm nod. "It did," I confirm. "I mean look at this poem. It's about a goldfish's death. 6th grade doesn't get more realer than that. That was my win." I sulk.
"If it helps you definitely won in my eyes," Luke offers sweetly, flipping through the funeral pictures. "Oddly, that does help a little." "Good," he glances at me with a lopsided smile. "Hey, who's this?" He then points to the third girl in the photos.
"Oh. That's my friend Kail," I say shortly. I don't know whether or not to mention she's a huge fan. I'm not sure if either of them would appreciate the information being acknowledged so I leave it for now.
"Like the nasty healthy green stuff?" Luke grimaces. I giggle at the face. "Or Kail as in Kailyn you knob." He makes a mocking face at me. Then asks, "Do you guys not talk anymore?" "We do. Definitely not as much but we keep in touch, we met for coffee a few weeks ago actually. She was the one that helped me figure out-" I stop when I realize what I'm saying.
Luke sends me a wary questioning look. "Helped you figure out what?" "Erm, that my fish was dead." "You didn't know your fish was dead?" "Don't judge me Hemmings, I just thought it was really tired..." I quickly bounce back.
It actually wasn't a lie. I did think my fish was sleeping for a day...or five but it was my mom who ultimately figured it out and realized. He holds his hands up in surrender before flipping through the photo album some more.
I let out a sigh of relief when he moves on, pestering me with questions about every little boy photographed next to me instead.
-
When it's finally time to go Luke's full of bribes and grade A pouts. I have to remind myself to stay strong more than once which I wasn't proud of but I blame Luke. He was exceptionally good at being persuasive. I didn't have time to do everything on my mom's list but we managed to cook and plant - Luke even got to see the infamous fish grave in the back.
The only thing we didn't get to tackle was the light painting, I offered to come back soon to help but she swore up and down it wasn't that important.
Luckily this isn't my first visit home nor would it be my last so my mom gives a quick goodbye and be careful inside. Leaving Luke and I to do our big first goodbye outside on our own with Haley waiting patiently in the car.
"Can't you stay a few more days?" Luke's bottom lip becoming more prominent. "First of all, you're leaving tomorrow," I deadpan. "But what about tonight?" "Spend time with your girlfriend, I'm sure she'll miss you." Luke's pout deepens. "You're not going to make this easy are you?"
I roll my eyes in good heart. "Before this week we spent our friendship apart for over six months Lucas. Nothings going to be different." At least that's what I kept telling myself - I was going to be fine. We were going to be fine.
It was going to be just as it always was.
"But that's different," he insists. "How so?" I challenge. "It was before I knew-" he stops, shutting his lips tightly and shaking his head. "It's just different."
I'm like a fish on a hook. I needed to know what he was going to say. I need to know if it's the same for him. If he's thinking about all the things you can't see over the phone like his nervous lip biting, the blue in his eyes, or the way the whole room lights up with his smile.
I wonder if there were things about me he noticed in person and if he was going to miss them too.
"Well at least this time I know what your face looks like so we can FaceTime or something," I offer instead of prying. "Yeah," he grows a sad smile. "I don't like this, this feels too weird doesn't it? We're going to see each other again. You'll be back eventually and we can meet up as soon as you are."
"No-heart-Penelope," he tuts. "Your friends were right about you, you know." Luke teases with narrowed eyes. "God. They told you that?" "Sean said it a while ago and Haley mentioned it earlier," Luke grins. "I have a heart okay, I just don't like this mushy stuff."
"I'm gonna miss you so much, how will I survive without you?!" Luke wraps his arms tightly around me with a fake crying face, squishing me against his chest. "Stop it," I groan. "Have a heart P, who knows when the next time we'll see each other will be," he cries out exaggeratedly.
"I do. Knowing you it'll probably be tonight and I'll wake up tired as ever tomorrow," I mumble against his warm chest. "Shut up and hug me or I swear I wont let go," he threatens lightly.
I roll my eyes and let my arms close around his waist.
There's a weird sinking feeling in my stomach when the reality of the situation begins to settle in. I don't know when the next time I'll see him is and it's so different now.
Now I know what it's like having him around; what his pout looks like up close, how he smells like expensive cologne with a mix of mint and musk, and how safe his arms feel incasing themselves around me.
It definitely wasn't going to be like before and that worried me.
"Promise you wont ignore me even if your girlfriends around?" I pull away from the hug to meet his gaze. "Don't give me that face, you pretty much threw me out of your apartment after making me wait half an hour for you to get ready when she showed up," I frown when his features turn dumbfounded.
"That's not..." He sighs. "I'm sorry P. I promise not to ignore you even if I'm on stage. If my phone rings I'm stopping everything and picking up. I'm sure no one will mind." He sends me a caring smile.
"Good," I smile widely. He chuckles. "I guess I'm gonna miss you or whatever," I mutter with a breath. "P, please. You're going to make me cry," Luke sniffles sarcastically. "I take it back. You're annoying," I grumble playfully pushing at his shoulder. "Too bad you're stuck with me," he winks.
"Unfortunately." His smiles falls and his lips turn down. "No-heart-Penelope." "I'll call you when I get home," I ignore his taunt. "We'll see if I answer," he hums.
"Goodbye Luke," I singsong unfazed. "Bye P," he waves his large hand with a child-like smile.
I feel a weird pull as I drive away.
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