The last thing I saw, was Reece looking back and clutching Emma tighter onto his chest.
07.04.17
12:13
~
Instead of closing my eyes, I directly looked at Reece as I felt Carlos getting me a so called love bite on the right side of my collar. Reece was angrily clutching that poor, poor girl and tried to desperately look away but something kept his gaze on the two of us.
I should hate him.
I should...
But I couldn't, could I? Did I even try to hate him. To just freaking move on from him and all of the things that happened to me?
I had to learn to sometimes hate things that took a piece of me and destroyed it completely. I have to learn to hate Reece.
I have to hate him to move on completely.
Hate.
I felt Carlos slowly rise his head and snapped my eyes from Reece to Carlos' eyes. He had this spark in his eyes and as he slowly leaned in again, I knew he maybe liked me a bit too much than I wanted him too.
His lips brushed against mine and while I felt nothing but lust, he probably felt a small spark there. A warmth.
"Why?" He asked and I just looked deeply looked into his eyes. He really looked confused and as he wanted to step away, I took his face into my hands and kissed him roughly yet passionately.
"Because I want you..." I whispered against his lips and smiled. Pecking them one last time, I took his hand into mine and put my hair where the obvious hickey was.
He smiled back at me and we walked back to the crowd. Right as we were passing Reece and that bitch, I heard him call me.
My heart ached to him calling me by my name and also to the fact that this bitch was in his arms and not me.
"Reece." I did the same and we turned around.
Carlos immediately put his arm around my waist as Reece let his eyes let them travel to his arm. His jaw clenched and he quickly looked away rubbing his jaw with his free hand.
"How are you?" I sweey asked, and his eyes instantly narrowed.
"Oh, we're great." Emma spoke up, and I smiled at them the sweetest I was able to without scratching this bitches eyes out of her skull.
"Carlos would you mind getting me a drink?" I asked after a while and he stared down at me before leaning down a bit and asking if I really wanted him to. I nodded in response and pecked his cheek, before he left.
I heard Reece cursing under his breath and soon telling Emma to get some drinks too. The bitch obviously complained and knew why he did that, but just one angry glance from him and she was on her way. But of course not before groaning angrily at me.
"So only us two, huh?"
"You're still dating Carlos?" He asked while glaring at me and I smiled.
"Yes...I think it is love." I said dreamily.
I saw him chuckling and looking up. He took out something from his pocket and as I saw what it was I just rolled my eyes. He put the cigarette between his lips and was about to light it up, as I snatched it away and crushed it under my shoes.
"Why'd you do that?" He asked and I just crossed my arms.
"I hate cigarettes."
He stared at me for quite some time before speaking up again. "Hate...it's just another word with four letters." He whispered and I sighed.
Slowly stepping forward, I looked deeply into his eyes. "So is love..." I whispered and saw his eyes immediately turn cold and emotionless.
His eyes slowly sunk and then fixed themselves on my collar. I knew that because of the light breeze, my hair had slightly moved and now my love bite was half on show.
His jaw clenched before he spoke up once again. "Pretty hickey." But I knew how his knuckles turned white as he tried to maintain calm.
"I know." I said and let my finger carefully slide along the end of my dress, to the hickey. His eyes traveled aith my finger, till I stopped.
His head now again completely looked up and then he stepped forward like I did, only now he grabbed my dress so I wasn't able to move away from him.
"You were talking about me on the stage right?" He asked, and I just stared at him, letting out a small laugh shortly after.
"I can't remember..." I lied and formed my pursed lips into a small smile.
His eyes traveled to my lips before once again landing on my eyes. And in this moment my smile completely vanished and I understood.
Why everybody was so scared of him.
Why he was called the bad guy in the first place.
It wasn't because he got drunk often, smoke everyday went to parties all weekend long, does drugs frequently, fights himself through street fights and car races, or even the fact that he went to juvie, it was because of his eyes.
Because of his damn eyes.
I never really thought about why people specifically called him a bad influence, but now I did. It was his aura, but mostly his eyes. The way he was glaring at me.
I now knew why people preferred to make a big curve around him.
Now I realized, why nobody dared to mess with him. It was because of his cold brown eyes. They intimat you, it was like they soaked you into them, killed you in several brutally ways, and let you out again.
Only now you were worthless. You were a nothing. Now I know why he was also capable of destroying her.
Lucy Davidson.
She had to transfer school, he didn't hurt her physically, he didn't even touch her, but he hurt her mentally. I once even caught her crying in the bathroom. The so called bad girl. The girl everyone was supposed to not mess with.
He made her fall in love with him, and then he dumped the bad girl. The bad girl was whipped, and nobody would've thought it would be the bad boy himself to do this impossible seeming job.
This is actually one of the many reason why I would never try confession to him, because he would dump me like he did one and a half year ago.
He dumped me for another girl, only a day after he took my virginity. I never understood why bad boys always fall for the good girl.
I mean they are complete opposites. Sure opposites attract, but how true was this so called quote. I searched for someone like me, when I was younger, he was like me.
And now, I don't like to admit it, but he was like me too. Only that when a guy sleeps around he is the playboy, the hottest guy. But when a girl does that, she's a desperate whore...a slut.
"
How bad..." He whispered before looking around and scanning the crowd for anyone that was looking our way.
As he snapped his eyes back to mine, he let his head slowly sunk and breath against my neck.
"If only it wasn't there... it would've been a pleasure to do it myself." He breathed against my neck and goosebumps appeared along my whole body.
He looked back into my eyes, and it was hard to keep my facade, but I smiled and pecked his cheek before speaking up once more.
"But fortunately my boyfriend did it already for me." I pushed him away and he even let me.
It was painful for me to do it, for the first time I pushed the love of my life away. The one I love. The one I need. I pushed him away.
Even if only the near, the heat of this boy was attracting me so much, I don't know what would happen if we kiss again. I felt my feelings still growing, even if I thought it couldn't grow any stronger.
But this feeling compared to my feeling two months ago, it's like I feel live over and over again. As if it had a different taste everyday.
Today it was strawberry, and tomorrow it was
cherry. They were different, but both were tasty.
I stepped away, and soon felt a presence next to me. I looked up and saw Carlos standing there, handing me my drink. I glanced towards Reece one last time before taking Carlos' hand and walking away from him.
~
"Are you ready?" Tiffany asked and I nodded.
"Okay so you're really going to do this aren't you?" She asked and I nodded once more. After we settled into the car, she started the engine.
"So what are we going to look at today?" Tiffany asked, and I unlocked my phone to show her a small house.
"A house. A two bedroom to be exact." I spoke up and scrolled through my phone. "Cool, so I'll be there often." Tiffany said and even I was excited to have her there.
She didn't knew it, but I think I'll invite her to live the rest of my free time there, I mean after I actually really closed the chapter named Matthew....
I let my head sink onto the seat, and soon felt my eyes drift apart. Looked out the window, I somehow came to leave with myself for a second, before completely closing my eyes.
For the first time, I could sleep peacefully...
~
Yipii love you all just a reminder.
I maybe don't know you personally, but I really love you all so much. We are near to 6k reads.
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