LOU'S POV:
"Baby love me cause I'm playing on the radio, how do you like me now?
American dreams came true somehow, I swore I'd chase until I was dead
I heard the streets were paved with gold, that's what my father said
No-one even knows what life was like, now I'm in LA and it's Paradise"
"I'm going to murder that pretty boy I swear to god."
"I can't believe you didn't tell me any of this before!" Vince exclaims, still sounding outraged. "I mean, what are best friends for if they don't rant to you about their hot hook-ups. With you know, world-famous rockstars I would pay to even get a taste of."
"Vince!"
"What? He's hot."
"I know he is," I groan. "Trust me, I know."
"Is he very, you know...?"
"Vince, don't go there. Don't even think of going there," I say in a warming tone. And then, a few seconds later: "Yes, he is very."
"I knew it. Damn, you lucky bitch."
"Ugh, talk about lucky when he's all parading his sexiness around you and you've gotta keep yourself in check because if you make even the slightest wrong move he's on you. Literally."
"I would be doing all the wrong moves," Vince says dreamily, and I choke down a laugh.
"Vince! You're not helping here!"
"Hahaha, sorry. The sexual tension must be terrible, poor other guys."
"Meh, it's not like they spend their nights alone either."
And it's true. In the few days I've spent in the duplex (okay just to be clear I still have my apartment because there is no way I'm letting go of that jewel, but when management says something...), I've been witness to more walk-of-shames than I've ever encountered before. I can hear them leave at around 2am, when I'm still browsing Tumblr or blankly staring at my window (the view is amazing by the way), searching for inspiration. I'm not saying the guys aren't working, because on the contrary they spend most of their days at the studio. It's just that they have their fun at night too.
And Luke is the first to do so. In a way I'm feeling smug because I was totally right about him not being able to stick with one person, but on the other hand I can't help but feel jealous of the girls he's with. Which is totally ridiculous, considering he throws them out like dirt. But this only furthers me in my resolution not to give in to what he wants, which I'm guessing is being friends-with-benefits. I'm one hundred percent sure it would be unhealthy for me to be with him, not necessarily because I would develop feelings for him, but he's just not the type of guy I want to have more than a one-night stand with (or two, as it is).
I say my goodbyes with Vince and end the call, instead focusing back on my piece of paper. I woke up this morning with a guitar line in my head and I've been trying to build something around it since, to no avail. It's interesting because whereas the boys are working with a producer and different artists already, I'm more on my own. I know that's a consequence of my demanding independence in my contract, but it also means that I'm sometimes at a loss and don't have anyone to help out when I'm stuck.
"Bleh," I groan and roll off the sofa, falling to the ground with a puff.
By chance, I've faceplanted near the remote we lost yesterday, and I grab it, turning the TV on. It opens on Netflix and I mindlessly browse through potential movies. I don't find anything particularly interesting immediately, so I gather my courage and stand up, heading for the kitchen to fix myself some snacks. I return with a bowl of grapes and salted almonds, plopping back down on the couch.
"Oi, what's up?" I hear Ashton yell.
"I'm in the living room," I yell back.
He shuffles his way to me.
"What are you up to?"
"Netflix and chill. Care to join?"
"Oh my gosh, so forward," he giggles before sitting down next to me. "Is that special vegan snacks?"
"Yes..."
"Can I?"
"Go ahead," I grin.
"You know, the guys complained a lot but I think that restaurant was amazing," Ash says.
"They do take-out," I inform, and his eyes light up.
"Oh my god can we do that tonight?"
"Won't the others 'complain a lot'?"
Ash grins.
"I don't think they're headed home tonight. They went to the Nice Guy and usually when they do that..." He winks at me.
"Alright, alright I get it. So it's just the two of us?"
"Yep," he says, popping the 'p'. "What do you wanna watch?"
"Just choose something, I'll order the food."
I let Ashton look through the available movies and TV series while I dial the vegan place. After ordering what I usually take (times three because Ash is a growing – okay grown – boy), I settle back down on the couch.
"How was work?"
"It was great!" Ashton exclaims, his bubbly persona showing through once again. "Feldy, Mike and me worked on something and I'm pretty sure it's gonna turn out great! You?"
I bite on my lip.
"I don't know. I woke up with this idea in my head but I can't really get it to work..."
"Show me?"
I show him what I wrote down and explain what I'd wanted to capture in the song. He frowns and nods, keeping silent for a bit. And suddenly it's like an idea strikes him.
"Why don't you just add a C-chord here, and change that up to make it into a bridge kinda thing?" He points.
"Dude! Yes."
We keep talking about the guitar thing for a while and soon enough Netflix is completely forgotten as we work on the song. He grabbed his guitar from his room a bit earlier so now we're both trying out some strings, looking to find the right chords for the vibe I want.
"You know what? This would sound really great if I just sang the melody," I say.
Ash agrees to play what we already have written down and I literally improvise, humming something that would correspond to the tone of the guitar.
"Lou," Ash suddenly whispers urgently.
"Yeah?"
"That sounds absolutely amazing."
I crack a grin and we continue working. We've been at it for over half-an-hour when the doorbell rings. I go pick up the food and we settle back down on the floor, too lazy to actually eat properly on a table.
"This is so chill," Ashton smiles. "It's so different from when we're working with the guys. I love this."
"Now don't go quitting your band for me," I joke.
"Nah, never. But I get why the guys up there thought it'd be a good idea. It's actually giving me some ideas for our own album."
I smile, happy that someone that I look up to as much as Ashton Irwin enjoys helping me write songs, and just spending time with me. And even though the guys aren't exactly what I originally thought they were, they're not complete assholes either. I mean, they're all fuckboys, but they're still somewhat the music-loving dudes that the media shows they are. It's sorta weird.
"So why aren't you out with the rest of the guys?" I ask Ashton.
"Didn't feel like it. You?"
"I'm underage," I sigh deeply, making him laugh. "I've been of age for over a year in Europe, but oh no, America's gotta go and have different rules, so here I am, stuck with you," I grimace.
"Ouch. Wanna take a snap?" He asks randomly, and I'm about to nod yes and of course, when suddenly the stupidest thing strikes me.
"Oh my god."
"What?"
"I...I completely forgot to tell my fanbase about you guys. Like, I put up a Twitter update telling them that Capitol Records have taken me in and that I'm working on an album, but they don't know that I'm living slash working with your band. I need to make a vlog, now!"
"I'm in!" Ash exclaims.
Within seconds I got my camera and he self-appoints himself as cameraman, saying it brings him back to the fetus-5SOS era when they still posted YouTube covers. I start out with an awkward hi before explaining everything that's happened in the past week in detail, and finish by grabbing the camera and filming Ashton as he pretends to be Luke and runs away from the spotlight screaming.
"Ash! Get back here!" I laugh, zooming in on his disappearing form.
"I'm not Ashton, I'm Luke! I hate being filmed!" He yells from his kitchen.
"Alright, Luke, I'll eat the rest of the food if you don't come back here now!"
"Ah! I'm Luke and I love food!" Ashton screams, dramatically running back towards me. "Don't eat all of it pretty please."
He looks at the camera with widened eyes, pouting.
"Pretend that my eyes are blue and pretty," he whispers. "Leave me some food please..."
"God, you're such a dork," I laugh. "And since I'm the only one able to represent the fandom right now, here goes: aw, but your eyes are very pretty Ashton! They're so different and colored and we never know if they're green or brown or yellow and also your giggle gives life!"
He tackles me into a hug, chuckling uncontrollably, and I almost let go of the camera in shock of the sudden movement.
"Okay, okay calm down."
Since it doesn't seem like he plans on letting go of me any time soon, I turn the camera towards me and say a quick goodbye before ending the video.
"Ashton... Ash... You can let go now..."
"Nah. I'm Luke and I'm cuddly as fuck."
"Can you not?"
Eventually he lets go, apologizing profusely for Luke's bad behavior – cue to me rolling my eyes – and finishes eating his food.
"So how did you become vegan?"
I snort at the question, having heard it one too many times, but for some reason I can tell that Ashton isn't going to judge and will most probably agree with me. It kinda makes me wanna tell him the whole story.
"Well... There's the whole mistreating animals, which I really can't stand for. It's absolutely disgusting, both their living conditions and dying conditions and just—" I shudder. "Apart from that, eating too much meat is bad for your health, and producing so many animals is actually bad for the economy. But yeah, those are the general reasons why it's a good thing."
"So what about the personal reasons?" Ash asks.
I bite my lip before deciding that oh, just fuck it why not, and tell him.
"When I was about fifteen, a modeling agency offered me a job."
"I am not surprised," Ashton says quietly, and I scoff.
"Oh, stop it with the flattery, will you? Anyway, long story short, I ended up with an eating disorder. It started out with bulimia, soon turned into anorexia and it's a fucking disgusting thing because fuck, it's hard to get rid of. It took me getting hospitalized before I realized how toxic modeling was – they were always demanding me to lose weight or making me feel inadequate – and I tried to find ways to recover." I shrug. "It took me a few years, but I got there. Becoming vegan was one of the steps to recover. Most of the food is not too heavy and it's healthy, so I didn't feel too bad or nauseous eating it. It also helped mend my relationship to food because there were so many new interesting recipes for me try out and I managed to make cooking and tasting things fun and positive again. Working out helps, too. I don't know if you noticed me using the work-out room," I grin at him.
He nods.
"Yeah, I did."
"Working out is a thing most recovering people from ED do because it strengthens the body, and it makes you feel better about yourself. I just got addicted to it."
"That's amazing," he breathes. "It's amazing that you got through that shit, held on and pushed through and you're here now, basically living your dream."
"It's cool, huh?" I smile. "There's hope out there for everyone."
"Now I really wanna hug you again."
So I just hold out my arms and he does.
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I ship the friendship between Ashton and Lou so much they're cute <3
Just putting it out there that it's gonna stay platonic (Lou and Luke have enough problems with out a fucking love triangle on top lol)
COMMENT AND VOTE IF YOU LIKE (PLS PLS?)
Othilia.