Deanna sat in the empty bathtub of the current seedy motel they were staying at. She held a full bottle of whisky in one hand, and the other held her knees up to her chest. She stared hard at the bottle contemplating taking a giant swig, and following with finishing the entire bottle by herself. Then reality hit her and she realized she didn't even like whisky. Hell she had never really been a drinker. A lot of it had to do with her always being sick. She finally sat the bottle on the floor and sighed heavily wishing it would be that easy for her to drown he troubles in the bottom of a bottle.
Her mind wondered back a few weeks when her brothers had taken her to a hospital because they found her passed out. Once again they started running tests, but her brothers didn't stay to comfort her. There was work to be done, and they had to keep going. They forgot how Sam had flat out refused to leave Dean when he had electrocuted himself. It had always been like that though. One of them would be in the hospital and the other refused to go despite what the other said, but when she was in the hospital bed she as always alone while there was work to be done. While she was prodded and poked like a science project they were going about their life like she didn't even exist. Perhaps that's what it was. They were prepared for the worst. She wished she couldn't blame them for that, but deep down it hurt that they were so ready for her to be gone.
Ana was brought out of her thoughts by the sound of a ringing phone, and Sam's voice echoed through the motel room calling for Dean to answer it. When he didn't Sam did; voice tired and barely audible. She stood up and walked to the wall beside the cracked door and leaned there. She listened to one end of a conversation that sounded like Sam might actually care about their father. She couldn't believe that no matter how much she wanted.
From Sam's end of the conversation he sounded concerned their father was hurt. She guessed he wasn't when Sam went on to tell him they had been looking for them. Then telling him they were all fine, but she wasn't fine. She was never fine anymore. That seemed like a foreign concept to her now. Being just fine...she knew she wasn't. She was dying; her body was slowly giving out. Most days she would barley breath and when she did it was covered in land hard coughs. She was always tired, and couldn't even eat half the time. Between the pale skin and black eyes she looked like she was already dead. Her father wouldn't know that though because Sam hadn't told him how skinny she had gotten or that the last time she had had a full meal was months ago.
Her thoughts were interrupted when Dean had told their father he was getting a piece of paper, but for what? She had zoned out. The conversation ended with Dean telling their father that Deana was getting worse, and needed him. When Dean hung up she could hear the defeated breath.
"He's not coming for her is he?" Sam asked sounding disgusted.
"No he...he said it's safer for all of us this way." Dean answered
She heard Sam getting up, and things being slammed. Dean called out his name, but there was a long pause before Sam's angry voice finally answered, "Damn it Dean! His only daughter is wasting away to nothing. I don't know what to do for her Dean. Believe me I have looked. So we are just supposed to do our job, forge she's dying? Forget he had found this thing?"
"We have to Sammy."
The impala rumbled down a lonely highway with Sam in the driver's seat watching the dark road pass by. Dean sat in the passenger seat reading a piece of paper while Deana sat in the back staring ahead trying to make since of the conversation she had heard her brothers having earlier. Part of her wanted to believe they cared, but it was hard after so many years of feeling rejected. She pulled the large blanket tighter around her fighting the chill she had. It seemed she was always cold lately.
Sam glanced at Dean for a brief moment before turning his attention back to the road. Deana didn't even have to ask she knew Sam wanted to find their father. She had a feeling he had a lead, and despite the fact that she agreed she knew she would never follow him. Finally Sam cleared his throat. "Albright so, the names Dad gave us, they're all couples?"
"Three different couples all went missing." dean replied finally looking up from the paper.
Deana leaned forward placing her arms on the back of the seat and resting her chin onto. "Different towns...states?" She asked looking at Dean.
Dean nodded sitting the paper in his lap and reading off where they were from. All had taken cross-country trips and had not made it to their destinations. There were never seen again. All of them had also passed through the same part of Indiana, and that led them right through Burkesville the second week of April.
Sam was frowning leaving Deana to await the oncoming argument that she knew was going to happen. Their father was sending them to stop another could form meeting the same fate as the others. Sam knew it was important, but their Dad had found the thing that killed their Mom and Jess, and was going after it alone. Sam wanted to be there. Dean sat amazed at their father's ability to put together the pattern before Sam finally announced they were not going to Indiana and pulled the car over. Dean didn't like it, but Sam insisted that despite the importance of the job they needed to be with their father. When Deana agreed it didn't go over well. Dean felt bombarded, but he was going to do the job given to him. Finally Sam got out of the car and headed to the trunk.
"Dad doesn't want our help Sam. Dean hissed his voice rising slightly. He gritted his teeth and watched as Sam pulled a black backpack offer his shoulder and looked at Deana. She looked down at the ground and toed at the gravel there.
Sam shook his head, "I don't care." He hissed back walking away from his brother and sister.
"It's the middle of the night. Hey, I'm taking off. I will leave your ass, you hear me?" Dean called expecting Sam to change his mind. He didn't though and announced he wanted dean to leave. Sean grinded his teeth together and slammed the trunk shut walking to the driver's door, and calling for Deana to follow him. She watched Sam a moment longer. A strange feeling of relief washed over her. She felt guilt too. Sam was her little brother how she could feel so much jealousy over him. She wanted to follow him, but knew that she would always follow her twin and finally climbed inside.
She sat in the front seat staring out the back window watching Sam get smaller and smaller before he was gone. She turned around and sat forward in her seat. Her head turned to Dean and for a long moment she was quiet pondering what she should say. "Dean I have a confession to make." She finally spoke. His response was to glance at her as if to tell her to go on. She sucked in a deep breath as she began stumbling over the words. She felt the ones that did come out sound unlike her. Lie a stranger was talking and she was left wondering. "Um... well you see I ...I have a slight bit of jealously towards you and Sam's relationship. I mean...you guys didn't see each other for two years and then picked up where you left off like nothing had ever changed. We never really had the closeness I thought we should being twins and all. I was always..."
"Look." Dean cut her off focusing on the road in front of him. "It's all in your head. And we are not going to have one of those mushy brother sisters bonding moments right now. We have a job to do and I am going to need you on this one. Do you think you can pull it together long enough to help me out on this one?"
Deana let out a sigh and slowly nodded in response. She felt her lip quiver, and she bit it turning to look out the window. She wouldn't cry. Not hear where Dean could hear her. She would put on the brave face, and pretend like everything was fine. That's what he wanted anyway.
The impala rumbled down the one street that ran through Burkesville Indiana. It was a small town with a restaurant, convenience store and mechanic, as well as a few other businesses and houses dotting the single road. It seemed to be a quaint and inviting town, but if their fathers homework was correct it was far from that.
Dean looked out his window spotting a man sitting in a rocking chair in front of the restaurant, and then turned to Deana, "Look I know you're having a difficult time and all, but I need you on this one. Can you hold your shit together?"
Deana sighed stuffing two missing persons reports in her pocket and climbing out of the truck. She was irritated to say the least but she followed Dean towards the man. He had a tooth pick hanging out of his mouth, and he had a blank look on his face and turn noticing Deana and Dean. A crocked smile appeared on his face.
"Hello there." He greeted a tooth grin.
Dean nodded, "Let me guess Scotty?"
"Yep." Was his simple response. The toothpick wiggling up and down in his mouth.
"Hi...I'm John Bonham." Dean greeted getting a peculiar look from Scotty.
"Isn't that the drummer for Led Zeppelin?" Scotty's eyebrow raised and the smile began to fade; a look of suspicion replacing it.
"Classic Rock fan." Dean commenter turning to look at Deana.
"What can I do for you John... and.." His gaze once again fell to Deana. "I didn't catch your name."
"Jaie...Jamie Bonham."
"Newlyweds?" He asked the crooked grin once again appearing on his face.
Dean made a face and shook his head, "Eww! No Twins. We were wondering if you have seen their two." Deana pulled two flyers from her pocket and handed them to the man.
Scotty took them barley giving them a look before holding them back out for her. "Nope." He answered.
Dean let out a sight running a hand through his hair and turning looking at Deana with an unamused face. "You sure? They came by this way about a year ago." Dena asked turning back towards the man. He was trying to hide his annoyance, but was failing.
"Sorry." Scotty stated, "We don't get many visitors here." His tone was dismissive, and Dean doubted he was telling the truth, but he nodded a thank you and pulled Deana across the street towards the Convenience store.
"He's lying." Dean whispered to Deana as they stopped in front of the store a moment.
"How can you be sure?"
"He didn't even look at the flyers. He knows something." He answered pulling the door open and letting Deana enter. An older man and women stood behind the counter, and they both had pleasant smiles on their faces. For a moment Dean believed they might be friendly, but then reminded himself it was probably an act. They had to get these missing people to trust them after all.
"What can I do for you folks?" Harley asked greeting the two with a smile.
"My sister and I are looking for a couple that came through here about a year ago." Dean answered as Deana handed them the flyers. The man took them seeming to study them closely but shook his head as if to answer no. "You sure they didn't stop for gas or something? The man handed the photo to his wife who shook her head.
"Nope don't remember em. You said there were friends of yours?" The man asked.
"That's right." Dean answered as a young blond girl came down the stairs.
"Did the guy have a tattoo?" She asked walking over towards the group. Dean as she took the flyer from the man. "Do you remember them uncle Harley? They were just married."
A light seemed to go off in the man's eyes and he began nodding. "You're right. They did stop for gas. Weren't here more than ten minutes." The man answered as Emily held the flyers out to Dean.
He smiled thanking them as Harley pointed Dean in the direction the couple had went. Dean thanked him as he and Deana made their way out of the stopped looking at Deana. "Case of short term Amnesia?" He asked as he headed to the Impala.
The twins bumped down a country road as the EMF meter began going off. It had brought the two the side of the road where an Orchard sat. Deana looked down at the device in Dean's hand and shrugged looking at the well-kept Orchard. They climbed out walking to s gate that read 'Burkesville Orchard.'
"This place gives me the creeps." Deana commented getting a look from Dean that stated she'd been in worse situations. "Sorry but Scarecrows give me the creeps." She insisted nodding towards the scarecrow in front of them. The scarecrow was clad in black with a sickle at his side. Black holes replaced the eyes, and bird pop slide down his shoulders.
"Dude You Fugley. Looks like the birds aren't quite the chicken shit you are." Dean comments then tilted his head to the side studying the scare crow. "You see that?" he asked grabbing a nearby ladder and sitting it in front of the thing. He climbed up and pulled the flyer out holding it next to the arm. "It's the same." He said looking back at his sister.
Dean took a seat at a table next to a young couple Emily had told them about. Scotty sat two plates with apple pie on them in front of them and Dean requested a piece. Scotty was clearly annoyed, but shuffled behind the counter towards the Pie as Dean began a conversation with the two. He smiled brightly, "How ya doing'?" He asked glancing towards Scotty. "Just passing through?"
The girl smiled as she swallowed a bit of pie, "Road trip." She answered taking another. Dean gave her a nod and looked at Deana who smiled weakly. "She ok?" The girl asked turning to Dean.
"Cancer." Dean answered. "Last road trip before Kemo. I tried to get her not to come, but my sister is stubborn. Thought I would give in to her given the circumstances."
The girl nodded looking at Deana sadly. "What was so important to you that you wanted to go on a road trip? You should be in the hospital."
"Um...some friends of ours went missing about a year ago. I thought I would try to help find them before I couldn't. It's...pretty important to me." Deanna coughed covering her mouth and turning her head looking at Scotty who had the phone in his hand.
Scotty cam around filling the glasses of cider and frowning at Dean and Deana. "How about that Pie Scotty." Dean asked as Scotty stood up shaking his head.
"I'm sure these people want to eat in peace." He hissed walking away.
"Hey just a little friendly conversation. These folks deserve to know if these roads are dangerous." Dean turned to look at the couple who gave him a worried look. "I noticed your car was being worked on."
"Yeah break line. Should be up and running by nightfall." The girl answered taking another bite but not looking at Dean.
"I know a few things about cars I could take a look at it for you." Dean offered to Which the girl declined stating she would rather the mechanic handle it. "It's just you could be in danger." Dean continued.
"Look buddy we are trying to eat." The young man Finlay hissed shaking his head.
Dean took a deep breath as the bell hanging above the door rang and the sheriff walked in. Scotty hurried over, and Dean gave Deana a worried look. He felt panic rise through him as his last chance to save the people was rising.
"We just wouldn't want what happened to our friends happen to you is all." Deana offered.
"Thanks but you said they disappeared. They could have chosen to do that. Now leave us in peace." The man warned as the sheriff approached.
"Can I see you two outside." He demanded. Dean began to protest, but the sheriff dangled handcuffs at him. Dean was forced to follow him. Insisting he was doing nothing wrong as the sheriff shoved Deana into the impala. "Now I am escorting the two of you out of town. I don't want to see you two around hear causing trouble again."
Dean started the impala up, and grunted as The Sheriff followed the two to the city limits where he turned around as the two continued down the road. Dean gritted his teeth and gave Deana a sideways glare. "You know you could have been more help." He hissed gripping the steering wheel tight. "You just sat there."
Deanna scrunched her face and shook her head, "You had the creeper role down pat." She shot crossing her arms over her chest.
Dean gave another sideways glare, "Sam would have been more help." He grumbled under his breath.
"Well you ran him off didn't you jackass." Deana's temper was rising now. "I'm sorry I am not as perfect as Sam is. She felt a thick knot of tears forming in her throat but she choked them down. "Pull over." She demanded choking on them almost.
"No we got work to do." He hissed speeding up a bit. His own temper reaching it's boiling point.
Deana felt her pulse begin to rise, and she didn't know how much longer the knot of tears would stay down. "Pull the fucking car over Dean." She screamed.
Dean looked at her gritting his teeth before finally pulling over. His face softening when he saw the tears begin to flood her face. "It came out wrong." He said stumbling over the words.
"No you said exactly what you meant." She hissed choking on the thick hot tears that were escaping in buckets now. She fought with the door handle needing air suddenly. Soughing unable to catch her breath. It slammed open and she fell out onto the ground. A few drops of blood leaving her lips.
"Ana just calm down I think you are having a panic attack." Dean was beginning to panic himself, but he pushed it down trying to be strong for his sister. "Sam is far from prefect. Please just calm down."
Deanna coughed as Dean wrapped his arms around her, and slowly she began to calm down. She took deep ragged breaths and coughed. She felt weak, but most of all she felt foolish. Dean was left clutching her like she would break and realizing that in her current state she was more fragile then he realized. Alone they would never make it. They needed Sam, but how was Dean supposed to admit that. All he knew for certain was that there was a couple about to drive to their death, and they had to save them. Save them and anyone else from that fate. He looked down at Deana and without having to say a word she nodded and he helped her up into the impala. She crawled into the back seat and curled into a ball of exhaustion and her eyes fluttered close. Dean knew it had exhausted her, but he was upset. Perhaps taking it out on her was wrong, but he couldn't help himself.
As he himself climbed in he noticed the sun setting, and knew it was only a matter of time before the couple met a gruesome fate, so he headed towards the Orchard. The Impala growled over the country roads towards the couples impending doom. Dean glancing every now and then back ot Deana. Wondering how they were going to make her better. Wondering if they could. He almost missed the orchard where the couples maroon suv was parked. He pulled to the side and glanced to the back seat. Hearing screams he had no time to think just grab a shot gun, and run in after the couple. Screaming for them to head to their car he shot at the scarecrow to no avail. Dean went pale, and turned running for the gate. Feeling the scarecrow inches form him as he slid onto the street, and the scarecrow seemed to have vanished.
The car ride had been silent; Deana sleeping almost the whole way. He had called Sam to give him an update, but kept the conversation short. He left out the part where he had sent Deana into a panic attack. He felt responsible, but knew Sam would only judge him, and that would do no good. Instead he told of his meeting with a professor, and ended the conversation shortly after. Now he sat in a parking spot in front of a brick building looking at Deana who sat weakly in the passenger seat. She looked like death pale and thin. He wanted to help her, but didn't know how. Now wasn't the time for regrets though. He had people to save, and unfortunately that wasn't his sister.
"Look I won't be long ok. just rest while I go see if this guy can help." Dean didn't wait for a reply though. He climbed out and hurried off as if avoiding the conversation that was sure to follow anything they said right then. The conversation with feelings, apologies, and sorries. She watched as he hurried into the building.
She sat there for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably actually only 15 or so minuets. She was nearly dosing off when a police officer caught her eye. She strained to see the distance. He was caring something. Straining harder she realized it was a body. Another man helped carry the body as if they were walking a drunk out of a bar. Something about the body was familiar. The jacket maybe. Suddenly she realized they had Dean, and the cop was the Burkesville sheriff. He pointed to the Impala, and Deana sunk down in her seat glancing at the steering wheel. Dean had took the keys with him. She sighed as the man headed her direction. She scooted herself over pulling a knife from her sock. Flicking it open she reached down cutting two wires and attempting to strike the car started. The impala sputtered a few times, and the man began running. Deana sucked in a breath as the car sputtered again. The man was getting closer. She reached over rolling up the passenger side window and locking the door. She reached down rolling the driver side up, but the man was at the window reaching for the handle. She locked the door, and tried rolling the window up, but he had his hands through it grabbing her by the neck of her shirt. She choked as the window hit his hands and wouldn't go up. he was trapped, and wasn't letting go of her shirt. She wiggled taking the knife and stabbing his left hand. IT left go and she stabbed the other causing him to let go. She breathed in deep and grabbed the wires striking them. This time the engine roared and she threw the car into reverse backing up dragging the man with her. She slammed the car in drive and rolled the window down taking off as the window let go of her bleeding hands. She was coughing and trying to catch her breath. Her thoughts went to Dean. She had a feeling he would be the sacrifice. She was to week to save him alone. She knew she needed help. Hating what her only choice was she dialed Sam's phone number.
"Dean?" Sam's voice rang out. Deanna sucked in a breath not breathing for a moment. "Dean?"
"Hey Sammy!" Deanna cooed softly.
"Deana?" Sam asked sounding confused. "What's wrong?"
Deana didn't answer right away, but Finlay, "We have a problem."
Deana pulled the car to a stop and stared at Sam. He stared back a moment before Deana final climbed out of Impala and walked towards Sam who was leaning against the building. She crossed her arms, and looked down at the ground. Neither spoke letting the silence settle between them. finally Deana held out the keys, and Sam looked at her studying her a moment. He took a deep breath and reached out taking the keys. His eyes feel on a shell of a person. How could he have missed how frail she looked. Even the light in her eyes was gone, and Sam was wondering if she had given up hope.
"We should get going if we wants make it to burkitevill before night." Sam finally said.
Deana only nodded in response, and headed to the passenger side of the car. She climbed in and settled into the seat. They stay like that; silent and not speaking; for most of the ride before Deana finaly took a breath and turned in her seat to study Sam a moment. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye waiting for what she would say.
"Sammy...I..." She paused. She never called him Sammy. She felt the guilty ping deep down in her stomach, and her eyes fell. "You and Dean are so close, and I feel left out. Like I don't even belong in this family. Like maybe I should have died when I was a baby."
Sam glanced at her not speaking a moment. She wasn't looking at him. Instead she was studying her hands as they wringed together in her lap. He sighed and turned his gaze back to the road. "I know you get left behind a lot, but we don't want you getting hurt. We are trying to protect you."
"Why doesn't it feel that way?" She asked her eyes still not looking at him.
Sam nodded his head as if he understood. "I know it doesn't seem that way, but we are. In fact most of the time the cases we catch are in an area we think might help us find a way to heal you. We are always looking for a way to make you better. The doctors can't seem to. We figured whatever Dad did has to be out there." A few tears slid down Deana's cheek and she quickly whipped them away not wanting Sam to see her cry, but it was to late. "Deana we are not going to let anything happen to you. Despite how much you seem to hate me I love you, and I will go to hell and back to protect you. Whatever it takes to heal you I will do."
Deana choked back the flood of Tears. All she could do was nod at him. "It's ok to cry. You need to let it all out every once in a while." Sam spoke softly. Finally Deana let the tear fall. Let all the lonely feelings burst through. Let all the fear that she was going to die out. She cried for a long time. Sam's gentle hand clutching hers tightly as they sped off towards Dean. She didn't have to speak Sam knew in that moment how much she needed both of them, and despite his need to find their father she was more important than any revenge."
It had been hours since Dean and Emily had been tied to the apple trees in the old orchard. The sun had set, and despite her constantly asking what the plan was and his constant reply that he was working on it he still had no plan as to how they were going to get out of the situation. He didn't want her to know that though. He wanted her to believe that he was working on a way to get them out.
"You don't have a plan do you?" She Finlay asked tugging at the ropes.
Dean let out a defeated sigh, "I'm working on it." He repeated.
"What about your sister?" Emily asked tilting her head to look at him.
It was like a light had gone off in Dean's head. She had been mad at him, but she would never just leave him there to die. "Can you see?" He finally asked getting a What from Emily. "Is he moving yet?" Dean asked.
Emily stretched to look in the direction of the scare crow, but could not see him. "I can't see." She said then caught a shadow in a group of trees. Her heart began to Race as she urgently tugged at the ropes. "Oh my god." She screamed as it moved closer.
Dean pulled at his own ropes trying to break them. Suddenly Sam and Deana stepped out of the shadow. "If you want to try gnawing your way through we can wait." Deana announced moving towards Emily pulling a knife out to set her free.
"How did you get here?" Dean asked looking at Sam as he cut the ropes.
"I uh-stole a car, and Deana met me half way."
Dean laughed as his hands came free. "That's my boy." Dean said proudly. "Hey keep an eye on that scarecrow."
Sam looked at the empty pole and frowned. "What scarecrow?"
"Dean he's already lose." Deana scratched.
Four sets of eyes fell upon the spot the scarecrow used to reside. A shadow stepped in front of them a sickle held at his side. His steps slowly made their way towards the group, but the pace was picking up. They turned running in the opposite direction. dodging through trees in an attempt to lose him. Deana coughed as she tried to keep up, but her fragile body couldn't and she collapsed to the ground.
"Deana!" Sam and Dean yelled as Sam raced back scooping her up as the sickle fell to the spot she used to be. Sam spun running hard and fact Deana held close to his chest. The duked through an opening in the trees and looked back. The sheriff stood behind them with a rifle in his hands. They turned stopping with a crash into one another as they were suddenly surrounded.
"Please! Let us go!" Emily begged staring into the face of her aunt and uncle.
"It'll all be over quick." Her uncle spoke as if making her a promise of a swift death.
"Please!" She repeated as a few tears slid down her cheeks.
"Emily you have to let him take you. You have to..." Harley stopped as a sickle slid through his stomach. Emily and her aunt began screaming as the scarecrow grabbed the older women. Emily fell into Deans arms and buried her face in his chest as he aunt and uncle were dragged away screaming.
The three siblings watched as Emily's bus pulled away headed for Boston. Dean looked at Sam and motioned towards the bus station. "Can I drop you off somewhere?" He asked.
Sam shook his head putting an arm around his sister. "No I think you're stuck with me."
Dean nodded, "What changed your mind?" He asked.
Sam dropped his arm to his side, "I didn't. I still want to find Dad, and your both still pains in my ass. Mom and Jess are gone though, and Dad...he's god knows where by now. The three of us are all that's left."
Dean paused a moments pretending to whip a few tears away. He placed a hand on Sam's shoulder, "Sam that was beautiful." He cooed Sam swatted his hand away as the three of them laughed. Deana couldn't remember the last time she felt close to her brothers, or felt they cared for that matter. For a brief moment Deana let herself believe everything would be ok. They reality slapped her and she remembered how sick she really was, and how their father was the only one who had ever been able to help her; if only for a time. Nothing was ok, and Deana knew it. She could slowly feel her body giving up, and released that she was too.
Sam and Dean looked at her as their smiled faded. She guessed reality had hit them as well. She was dying a slow miserable death. There was no way of knowing how long she had left, or how to cure whatever ailed her.