I sit at the train station bench, my head resting in my hands. I've missed my train, I can hear the rain tapping like fingers on the roof. My heart feels heavy like lead. I miss her. I miss her so much. Lemongrass. The painfully familiar scent. I look up. It's her. I'm so ashamed of myself, she's one of my best friends and I've ruined our friendship. What must she think of me? She smiles at me. A warm, forgiving smile. "Hey stranger", she says. "Im so sorry", I mumble. She shakes her head as if to say that it doesn't matter. The rain's getting heavier now. I stand up. She puts her arms around me and I rest my head on her warm shoulder. "Im so so stupid", I confess. "Shush" she says.
We go back to my flat and I explain everything. By everything, I mean everything. The dreams, the party, the polaroid, my feelings. Her deep brown eyes glisten with tears. "Dodes, you should have told me" she says after a short silence. She smells like old books, nostalgic and musky. She leans in to me and whispers "You know I love Bertie, right?" I nod quickly. "But I want us to forget that for an hour or two, okay?" Im feeling so many emotions right now, I'm confused, Im exhausted, I am so unbelievably happy.
She puts her hand on my cheek and I feel a warm buzz of electricity. She leans in to kiss me and it's soft and long. Her smooth lips taste of birthday cake, story time and fall. It feels so right but so wrong. We kiss again and again, longer and longer, sweeter and sweeter each time. "I love you", she whispers. "Come on", I say. I grab her hand, grab my keys and run out of the door. She looks confused but she follows me. I ran with her in my hand to the local park, it's completely empty, which makes sense because it's like 11pm at night. We lie down on the wet grass, looking up at the sky, a black dome with shards of glowing white glass thrown on it. The park is surrounded by tall trees, and despite the darkness, theres a glowing feeling inside of me. I put my arm around her, and she with me. We keep kissing, like two magnets drawn to each other, indescribable and lemongrass scented.