(Dallas' POV)
Things at the house had changed. Andy made sure to keep me isolated in his room as much as possible, though he wouldn't tell me why.
I knew he said he'd gotten a little jealous of me and CC, but I really didn't know why. Sure, CC was a cutie, really funny, and had serious talent, but that didn't mean I was going to kiss him!
I loved CC like a brother, you know? They were all so supportive and took care of me basically. CC was a loud guy, and extremely funny, and I was glad he was here to cheer me up on my darkest of days.
"Hey." Andy smiled warmly at me as he entered his room. "Hi. Hey, can I like, go?" I asked nervously. I didn't want him to think I didn't want to be around him, but I love hanging out with the guys.
"Why?" he asked.
"I miss the guys." I grinned. He nodded, "Sure."
I nodded ad stood. I finished throwing my hair into a messy ponytail and walked into the living room, where they were all playing video games. "Hi." I chirped. "Hey, Dallas." they all chorused.
I sat in between Ash and Jake, "So, tonight, you guys have a show, right?" I asked. They nodded. "Could I like, go?" I asked. "Of course!" Jake nudged me. I laughed and thanked him.
"Why did you have to ask?" Ash glanced over at me. "Just wondering, didn't want to you know, bother you guys." I felt my cheeks heat up.
They both laughed. "I don't think you could bother any of us. Especially Andy." Jinxx added. I looked away, smiling. "Seriously." Jake nudged me. "Are you sure? I mean, I can find something else to do." I offered.
"I want you to go. We all do." CC smiled. I smiled back, "Thanks."
He nodded and looked down, quickly taking his phone out and fumbling with it clumsily in his fingers. He eventually dropped it and sighed, leaning down to pick it back up. "You alright, CC?" Jinxx asked. "Yeah." CC nodded, trying to get his phone back to normal.
I glanced over a him, then turned my attention back to the screen of the TV.
Jake's POV
"DAMN YOU!" I said as I died, Ashley had shot me. He started laughing, "Gotcha! Told you, I can't lose!" he laughed mockingly.
Well, honestly, I purposely lost. I seriously needed to talk to CC. "Um, CC?" I asked quietly. "Mm?" he looked up at me. "Can I uh, talk to you?" I asked. He nodded, and we both stood. We walked into the foyer, so no one would hear us.
"Yes?" he glanced at me. "I um, saw that." I grinned. "I know." he sighed. "You sure you got this little crush under control?" I asked, I was really concerned. I didn't want to see something go down between Andy and CC. They were like brothers, for God's sake!
"Yeah, I do. I'm trying not to make it so obvious, but she's just. Perfect." he looked down, pink beginning to take over his tanned cheeks.
I chuckled lightly, trying to lighten the mood. "Listen, I know she means something to you, but you know how Andy feels, right?" I said, furrowing my brow. "Yeah... he's like. In fucking love with her." he looked away, something unreadable coming over his expression.
I didn't know what to really say to CC, he seemed so upset and angry, something we rarely see in him. "Are you sure you're okay?" I asked. "I'm fine, Jake. Just a little down is all. I don't know, it's so much that she doesn't feel the same. I just... wanted someone, you know? Wanted to feel like someone needed me." he looked down again, fiddling with his skinny fingers.
"We need you, CC. You know that." I offered. "A girl, Jake. A girl." he chuckled. It was good to see those smile lines on his face again, good to hear that laugh again.
"I know, you'll find her, man." I patted his shoulder. He sighed and walked off, I'm assuming to the living room.
~
(Dallas' POV)
I decided to shower, after beating Jinxx three times on Call of Duty. I walked back into Andy's room and showered, letting the warm water take away all of the day's stress.
I finished and wrapped a towel around me. I walked into Andy's room, and didn't see him anywhere. Where had he gone? He was in here when I came to the shower... Maybe he just went out for a smoke or something.
I pulled out one of my Asking Alexandra shirts, and black Soffee shorts. I put my hair in a bun. I sighed and flopped onto the bed.
~
I woke up to a tapping. "What?" I mumbled into the pillow. "Get up." I hear a voice, it sounded like Jake's. "Mm?" I mumbled.
"Have you seen Andy?" he asked. "No." I sighed. "Have you?" I asked. "He said he was going for a smoke, but hasn't came back yet." he sat on the edge of the bed.
"How long has it been?" I asked, feeling my heart sink to my feet. "Three hours." he looked worried, and scared.
"I- God. I hope nothings wrong." I shudder. The thoughts of Andy hurting scared me.
He sighed and ran his fingers through his messy black hair. "I hope he's okay, too. Hopefully he'll be back before show." he sighed again. I nodded, knots clustering in my stomach.
~
By the time dinner came around, I was pacing Andy's room, tears lining my cheeks. What if something really was wrong? What if he's hurting? What if he's lost? What if he's dead?
No, stop, he's not dead.
"Calm down, D-"
"I can't." I said, emotionless. "I know, but he's done this before." Ash pulled me into a tight hug. "What? When?" I asked, shocked at his statement.
Ashley stopped hugging me, and looked around the room at the other boys. "When he was depressed. Oh, God. Yeah, we need to find him." he grabbed his jacket and pulled me by the arm, and the other boys followed.
Wait what? When was this? Andy seemed like such a happy person. Maybe it was me? The stress from protecting me? Oh God, what if he really is hurting...
I didn't realize I was crying until I felt someone wiping my cheeks. I turned to face CC, "T-Thank you, CC." I hugged him tightly, afraid of letting go.
He rubbed my back soothingly, and told me it was going to be okay. "What if-"
"Shh... everything will be fine. I promise." he said. I sighed and nodded, and let him wipe a stray tear from my cheek. I put my face in his shoulder, afraid to look outside; afraid of what I would see.
I quickly glanced outside, and saw that they had pulled up to a small park. "This is where he would be." Ash sighed. "Who's going?" Jinxx asked. "I think Dallas should." Ash shrugged.
I looked at him like he was crazy, but I knew he was probably right. "O-Okay." I said, getting up, and opening the door, and I felt everyone's eyes on me. I approached the park, shivering from the cold.
I saw a lanky figure sitting on a bench, head bowed. The person had their knees pulled up to their chest, and I could see their breath.
I walked slowly towards them, and soon noticed that it was in fact Andy. His unmistakable hair cut gave him away. "Andy?" I said quietly. He turned around and looked at me with sad eyes, "Hi." he said.
"What are you doing? I was so fucking worried." I sat next to him. I wanted to wrap him up in a tight hug, but I needed to know what he was doing first. "Smoking." he shrugged, looking at the lit cigarette.
That one was soon out, and he lit another, "Andy, stop." I sighed. "What?" he asked. "How many have you smoked?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. I felt like a mom, but I was just trying to help. "Seven." he sighed. "Well, stop. You only smoke that many when something's on your mind."
"Something is on my mind, Dallas." he looked away from me. His voice was barely audible. "What is it?" I asked. "Nothing. Did you come alone?" he asked, furrowing his brow. "No, the guys are in the van." I shrugged.
I put my hand on his, his seemed frail and shaky, but he didn't pull away. "You're cold."
"I know." he shrugged, lighting the cigarette. He placed it between his lips and inhaled, then pulled it away from his mouth and blew the smoke out.
"Can we go home now? We can talk when we get there." I offered. "No, uh, you go ahead. I'm gonna be home soon, I just want to think a little longer." he didn't look at me as he spoke, so I knew something was wrong.
"Please tell me." I said after a good five minutes of silence. He looked down at his lap before inhaling on his cigarette again. "Go ahead home, Dallas." he sighed. "No." I said stubbornly. He sighed and put his cigarette down, stepping on it to put it out. "Just, please go. I'll be back soon for the show, okay?"
I sighed, "I don't want to leave you out here, Andy. You'll freeze."
"Just go, Dallas. I can't think right now. You're too much of a distraction." he grinned. I felt the heat flooding to my cheeks, and I couldn't fight the grin that made its way onto my face. He pecked my lips and told me to go, again.
"Please come home soon though. We're really worried about you, Andy."
"Don't be." he mumbled. I don't think he meant for me to hear, but I walked off anyway. I was reluctant, but I didn't want to make him upset. He seemed down, and I prayed that he would come back home safe.
~
"What did he say?" Jake asked as soon as I opened the door. "Yeah, what happened?" Ash asked. "Hold on, guys, damn." I grumbled.
I sat on the seat, then looked up at everyone. "He said he was thinking." I sighed. "For three hours?" Ash furrowed his brow. "I-I don't know. He seemed down though. He told me to just go ahead home, and he'd be back soon."
"Will he be okay for the show?" CC asked. "Yeah, he said he'd be back for the show. When I touched his hand, he was really cold. But, like, it didn't seem to have an affect on him," I said, puzzled. "I said, 'You're cold.' and he said, 'I know.' Like it was nothing." I was really getting worried, leaving him out there.
"Damn.." Jake looked down, deep in thought. "I hope he's okay." Jinxx sighed.
~
"You're on in five, guys!!" some big, burly guy yelled. They all chorused an "Okay." and I sighed. I hugged Andy tightly, "I'm glad you're okay." I whispered.
"I'm fine." he pecked my lips. I grinned and sighed, "Please talk to me when we get home. You seem... down." my grin faded.
He nodded, averting his eyes from me. I pecked his show, "Have fun tonight. I know how much you enjoy this." I smiled up at him.
I finally see that bright smile spread across his face, and I smile too. "I will." he pecked my cheek and released me.
The guys walked out on stage, waving back at me. I waved to them and sat on the couch, ready to embrace the music I missed so much.
**
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^^ Just a quick reminder, this chapter will be long, so don't get your panties in a twist!! ^^
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They played the final song, "Lost It All", one of my favorites. Andy snuck glances and smiles very so often, and I always smiled back.
"Because I built these walls to watch them crumbling down.." Andy sang in his low voice. I shivered at the sound of it, and I smiled. I smiled because I knew he was doing what he loved. I knew at that moment, he didn't wish upon anything. He was happy.
My phone buzzed under my thigh, making me jump.
'Come back, or I'll bring you back.'
Tony? I shivered again, but not from utter joy, but from fear. My stomach churned, and I felt tears burning my eyes. What if he was being serious?
'What the fuck do you want from me?'
A few minutes later, he replied. 'I want you to come home.'
'Too bad. I'm happy now and you aren't taking that from me... ever again'
I felt strong after I sent that. I felt like my own person. I felt unbroken and independent. 'We'll see.'
~
"You guys were amazing!" I squeezed Andy in a hug, then CCC, then Jake, Jinxx, and Ash.
"Thank you." they all chorused. I smiled and pecked Andy's cheek. "You did good tonight." I smiled. He thanked me and hugged me again, "Thanks for talking me into coming. I honestly wasn't going to." he whispered.
I pulled away from him, my eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean?" I was puzzled. He looked away, "Come on, it's time to get home." he gave me a small smile and led me towards their dressing room.
After they had taken off their makeup and changed out of their sweaty clothes, we headed towards the van. All the guys had to sign multiple autographs and hug many fans, but we soon made it to the van.
We drove quietly, Ash was on his phone, Jake was napping, Jinxx was texting Sammi, and Andy was glaring out the window.
Me and CC were sitting quietly; I think he was tired, and I was in no mood to talk. "So, did everyone enjoy the show?" CC asked.
Loud agreements filled the van, besides Jake, of course. But I knew he had too, based off the smile on his face whenever he played.
"Did you enjoy the concert?" CC asked. "I did, it was amazing." I smiled. "Good, I'm glad," he paused. "Your hair's getting really long." he smiled, pulling at a strand of my dark hair. He was right, it was now just under my chest.
"Well, ouch. But, yeah, I guess you're right." I chuckled. "Sorry." he grinned. I shrugged it off and sighed. I felt my eyes beginning to burn slightly, telling me I was sleepy. I decided to just give in to sleep, and let it settle in, and soon I was fast asleep.
~~
I felt light shaking, and mumbling. "Dallas." the voices became clearer now. "Dallas, wake up. We're here." I hear.
"Wake up." I grumbled and opened my eyes to find CC poking me. "What?" I asked, rubbing my eyes. "Wake up, Dallas," he chuckled. "We're here."
"I don't wanna." I said like a little kid. "Are you serious right now?" he grinned. I nodded, closing my eyes again. He sighed and I felt like I was being picked up.
I sighed, and let him carry me, too sleepy to protest. I was actually surprised he could carry me, he looked really skinny, and quite lanky in person. But to be honest, I was glad he could. I really didn't want to walk. The confessions of laziness.
(Andy's POV)
I grimaced when I saw CC carrying Dallas in. I mean, yeah, he's like my brother, and I love him to death. But I couldn't help but feel a little jealous. Dallas would never let me carry her. She almost claimed she was too heavy, but she was letting... CC- carry her.
I sighed and walked over to him. "I got her." I said. "It's fine." he shrugged. He did seem like he was only trying to help, but still.
"I can carry her, CC." I chuckled. "I know, but I don't want to wake her." he continued walking. I paused, but replied anyway. "Okay."
Jake patted my shoulder with his free hand, guitar case in the other. "Ease up, he's only trying to help." he said. I nodded, "I know." He gave me a friendly smile and walked inside.
I stayed outside, sitting on the steps. I just wished that I was as good as him. What did he have that I didn't? I know he's hilarious and a great guy, but I mean... I thought I was, you know, a decently funny guy.
I pulled out another cigarette and lit it quickly, needing to feel it on my lips. I inhaled a few times, and closed my eyes. I just wished this pit in my stomach would go away. I should be happy right now, I have Dallas, I have my band mates, everything. But the pit in my stomach wont go away.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I muttered to myself.
I wanted to go inside, cuddle Dallas, and never let go. But in knew she didn't want that. I was basically suffocating her because I was just a little jealous. Okay- so I was really jealous. Okay- so it was gnawing at me every time I see her hug, laugh, smile at, or even talk to, CC.
What if she likes him back?
She's with you dumb ass. She wouldn't. Would she? Yeah, CC's a nice guy, everyone loves him. What the fuck is my life?? I'm sitting here hating my own brother because of jealously. God, I'm such a dick.
I stood and walked inside, throwing my cigarette out. I shut the door and walked into living room. CC and Dallas were playing Call of Duty together, both laughing. I sighed and walked to the kitchen. I grabbed the bottle of gin from the fridge, "Want some?" I cocked an eyebrow at Ash.
He smiled and walked over. We poured a glass and sipped contently. "You seem better." he commented. "I guess so." I shuddered. "Something up?" he asked. "Nah, I'm good. Just tired." I sighed.
"You sure?" he furrowed his brow. "Yeah, why?"
"You're usually this funny, laughing guy. But lately, you've gotten quiet." he shook his head. "Sorry." I was sorry for making them worry. "You should get some rest though."
I guess he's right. "Alright, have a good night, Ash." I patted his shoulder and waltzed over to the couch. I pecked Dallas' cheek and walked to the room.
(Dallas' POV)
I soon whipped CC's ass and decided to head to bed. "Night, guys." I called. They all chorused a "Goodnight." And I made my way into the bedroom.
"Andy?" I said quietly, not wanting to wake him if he was already asleep. "Yes." He said. His voice was empty, and emotionless. Something I rarely heard from him.
"Can you talk to me now.." I asked. He didn't answer, only sat up. I sighed and sat in the edge of the bed.
"What's wrong, babe?" I asked. "I, can, can we just, you know, go to bed?" He asked. "No, Andy." I sighed. He sighed in return and looked at his lap. "Sorry." He mumbled. I slid over to him, laying my head on his shoulder. I entwined our fingers and closed my eyes.
I kept my eyes closed, "I want my Andy back." I sighed. "You haven't lost him." He said, sounding worried. "You aren't the same, babe. You seem down." I furrowed my brow.
After a few minutes of silence he spoke again. "I guess, I guess I'm just jealous." I almost didn't hear him, his voice was so low. "Why?"
"You and CC are just... I don't know." He shook his head. "Please don't be. I want to be with you, not CC. He's sweet, but that doesn't mean i want to be with him." I chuckled.
He didn't smile, and that made my laughter fade, as well as my smile. "And, I just wish I was more like him. And tonight, when I saw you guys laughing and shit, I knew I couldn't do that. Make you laugh like that. You know? And when I was out in the park, alone, I felt so terrible, like alone. Completely alone." He whispered the last part.
I stayed silent, not knowing if he was done or not. "I'm sorry." He whispered. I looked up at him, "Don't be." He swallowed and finally met my eyes.
I rubbed his hand with my thumb, tracing over the skin. But I stopped when his skin felt different. It felt, scraped and rugged. I looked down, and nearly choked. His skin was scraped, rugged, and more importantly cut.
Andy had cut himself. And I wasn't there t stop him.