"Hello? This is Ichiraku's Ramen Shop, what may we do for yo--"
"I can't seem to find a reason to live on this wretched earth anymore. It would be so much easier to simply... end it all."
"Wow wow wow. Rewind for moment. Sir, I think you have the wrong number; I'm a cashier. Not a therapist. I don't know how to help yo--"
"Isn't death the only thing you can really control in your life? I guess that's why suicide's a sin: it's the only thing God can't control."
"...Sir... are you by any chance... drunk?"
"I might of had a few drinks. Why?"
"Sir, I think you should go inside. It's raining cats and dogs out there.
"Waaaait... How do you know I'm outside?"
"I can hear the wind howling and the raindrops... dropping?"
"That's some real deep shit, Miss."
"Pfft. Nowhere near as deep as the suicide shit."
"I was being sarcastic."
"So was I."
"...Wow, you're really good at being sarcastic then."
"So I've been told."
"Cocky much?"
"Very."
"..."
"..."
"I think I should jump now. Nice talking to you."
"What the actual broccoli?! Where the eff are you?!"
"On the roof of a 24-floored-hotel."
"What! No--please don't jump!"
"...Give me one good reason as to why I shouldn't, and I won't."
"Ummm... I don't know! You're not exactly asking the right person."
"Well then. Gotta go and meet God. I'll tell Him you said hi. Bye--"
"Wait!"
"..."
"A good reason is sunshine!"
"...I haven't seen the sun actually shine in years."
"...Where were you? Locked in your basement for the last ten years?"
"No. My world's just been so dark."
"...Still don't get it."
"It's a metaphor, genius,"
"Ohhhhhh. Okay."
"Fvck."
"What happened? Are those... police sirens?!"
"Yeah. They're going to get me off."
"Phew. Thank God."
"No! I was ready to leave!"
"Stop being such a crybaby and get the eff down!"
"...Gee, thanks."
"...You're welcome."
"I can practically hear you rolling your eyes at me."
"You have good ears then."
"Shit. Got to go. Bye."
"How can you just leave so casually after you tried to commit suicid--?!"
//CALL ENDED\\
Does it suck? :(
I'm sorry.