I have no words...but you have been warned
and thanks for 3k (:
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Austin: we need to talk...
What does that even mean? He spent nearly two weeks without talking to me, and then suddenly, out of nowhere, he pops up out of the blue needing to have a talk about whatever. Did I really want to talk to him or did I just want to continue the silence between us? Because I didn't know what I wanted, I was so ready to jump up and talk to him, just so that I could see him again, but then I'd remember that he would be lying, that there was the chance that he and Shay were really dating and had been cheating on him with me. I still felt so dirty about it.
"Alan?" Kellin said, looking at me confused and expectantly.
"Hmm?" I hummed, biting down on my lip as I felt my phone buzz again. I glanced at it, feeling my heart pounding in my chest.
Austin: I'll come pick you up in twenty minutes...
"You've been spacing out for like, the last ten minutes and staring over at the other side of the food court. Are you okay?" He asked, his head cocked to the side. I bit down harder on my lip and nodded.
"Look, um, I know I sound like a terrible best friend, but I really need to get home." I told him, standing up and grabbing my now empty tray.
"Oh, okay? You need a ride?" He asked, standing too.
"Yeah, please." I told him and we threw away our garbage and grabbed the several bags of clothes before leaving and getting into his car. I was nervous the entire way, which I knew I shouldn't be. It wasn't really a big deal, because what could possibly hurt me more at this point?
Soon enough Kellin pulled up outside Aunt Melissa's house and I got out, apologizing profusely about dumping him like this, and I promised I'd explain later about all of this, but Kellin being the amazing best friend he was, just smiled and nodded, telling me it was okay. I didn't deserve to have someone as nice and sweet as him, but I did and I was more than grateful.
I said another goodbye before closing the door and rushing to the front door where I unlocked it and went inside. Austin would be here in a few minutes and we would more than likely go somewhere to talk. I was trying to think of what to expect out of this conversation, and hopefully it wouldn't be bad, because really, I wanted to continue to be around with him, I didn't want us to part ways and never see each other again. I don't think I could handle that, considering how close we've become over the last month or so.
Before I could become too engrossed in my thoughts, there was a honk from outside. I tripped over my feet as I went to the door and opened it up, and sitting there just outside my house was a car that I barely recognized but I could see Austin sitting in the drivers seat, so I bit back some emotions and closed the front door, heading straight towards the car. I got in and Austin drove away, not saying a single word to me.
"Where are we going?" I asked after many minutes of silence. We weren't heading in the direction of either Vic or Aaron's house.
"My house," Austin answered bluntly which caused me to frown.
"And why's that?" I questioned, messing with the hem of my shirt. I felt really awkward even though I knew I shouldn't.
"Because, people are at Aaron's house and Kellin is supposedly going over to Vic's house, so you know, we have to talk in private, my house is the best place." He told me, sounding once again blunt. I had a feeling this little talk wasn't going to go well.
It continued to be silent until Austin pulled up outside what I assumed was his home. It was rather nice, simply two stories and a beige color. It looked really home-y and comfortable to live in. We weren't that far from the neighborhood Aunt Melissa lived in, or where Kellin, Vic and Aaron lived.
Austin got out, leaving me to follow behind him. We went inside and he headed to the kitchen while I stood there somewhat awkwardly, my hands stuffed in my pockets. I didn't know if I was welcomed to sit or not, so I stood there until Austin came out, giving an odd look.
"You can sit on the couch, you know..." he said, staring at me. My cheeks warmed and I slowly stepped over, sitting down. He claimed a spot next to me and continued to stare.
"What? Why do you keep looking at me?" I asked, feeling a little uncomfortable. He was looking at me like he did the first time we ever met, when we were at the party. It was after Kellin threw up on me and his eyes were scanning me like I was some kind of art.
"I'm just trying to figure out if I'm really mad at you or not." He said simply, which made me confused.
"If you are made at me?" I asked incredulously. I must've heard him wrong. "You're the one that was cheating!"
"Cheating? What are you talking about, Alan?" He questioned, the most confused look on his face.
"Oh don't play dumb, Shay told me you two were dating." I said, shaking my head. Austin scoffed and rolled his eyes.
"You believed that asshole?! I told you that we weren't dating, and that we never have before! Sure we screwed around some, but that was when we were in like, eleventh grade!" He shouted.
"How am I supposed to believe that, Austin? From the way he acts around you when he becomes drunk is reasonable." I told him, crossing my arms.
He scoffed again and ran fingers through his hair angrily as he stood and began to pace. He didn't say anything for a few minutes, only shaking his head and letting out little huffs. He looked like he could have exploded at any given moment, but instead he sat back down and gritted his teeth.
"Why would you believe him over me? How could you believe him over me!" Austin shouted. "I'm the one who likes you! I'm the one you gets to kiss you and hold you, and yet, you go and believe someone who has been wanting to get together with me ever since I dumped him. How could you do such a thing, Alan?!"
I felt my stomach do flips as he admitted into liking me, but I also felt guilty. He was right, I shouldn't have believed Shay, but it seemed so reasonable. It looked like he was right about it and the pieces had fit together perfectly, but it was wrong of me to just assume, I knew that.
"I'm sorry, okay? I know I shouldn't have listened to Shay, but...I just..." I trailed off and sighed. I didn't know what to say. I felt so stupid and guilty.
Austin huffed and sat back against the couch, his arms crossed over his chest. His face looked as hard as stone, which made me feel worse. Who would've known that this would hurt him so, and I guess I should've thought this over more, but it didn't really occur to me how Austin would have really felt about this.
"Aust?" I questioned softly, nudging his leg. He didn't look over at me or say anything, only glared down at the floor. I felt my heart drop down to my chest as I continued to try and get him to speak to me or to even look at me, but he just kept his eyes casted to the floor and I finally had had enough. I huffed and crawled into his lap, forcing him to look at me, and he did, except he looked a little shocked and confused.
"I'm really, really sorry, Austin. I shouldn't have just assumed like that, and I'm a big asshole for doing so, but you can't blame me so much for believing what Shay told me. I know I shouldn't have believed him, but the way he always acted around you when he was drunk just...it was a little hard to believe that you two weren't together with that thought in mind. But really, I am truly so, so sorry for choosing to believe him over you and I shouldn't have done that." I told him, feeling very sincere.
At first Austin didn't speak, he just stared at me much like he had earlier and I was sitting there, straddling his lap and awaiting his reply. It was ridiculous for me to be sitting this way, but it had to be done. It was the only thing I could think of to get him to listen and look at me.
"Well...?" I questioned, needing to know whether or not I was forgiven, because he needed to be in my life. He helped me see new things and be more free. Just like my brothers, sister, and Kellin, he kept me grounded and level-headed. Instead of saying anything, Austin just smirked and leaned in, pressing his lips against mine. I felt so much relief wash over me as I kissed back and wrapped my arms around his neck.
"Please tell me you've at least forgiven me," I mumbled, pulling away slightly.
"Yes, Princess, you're forgiven." Austin said, causing me to smile as he closed the gap between us and kissed me again. He gripped my hips tightly and pulled me closer as we made out. I couldn't seem to get enough of the kiss, and obviously he couldn't either. I moaned softly as he bit down on my bottom lip and slipped his tongue into my mouth.
"Fuck," I muttered, feeling my jeans grow tighter as we both began to grind against each other. My stomach seeped with pleasure as Austin pulled away from the kiss and began to suck and bite at my neck. My head rolled to the side as he marked me up. The feeling of his lips against my skin got me all hot and bothered, making me bite down hard on my lip to suppress the noises that wanted to escape.
"You can tell me when to stop, Princess." Austin whispered in my ear as he bit down gently on it. I shuddered and moaned, pressing myself closer to him. I obviously didn't want him to stop, I hadn't even thought about stopping him.
"N-No, keep going," I told him, shaking my head. Austin chuckled and continued to assault my neck while rubbing my hips. I felt like I was on top of the world the entire time, and when he pulled away, I was more than disappointed.
"You have no idea what I want to do with you and to you right now," Austin told me, sounding breathless. My cheeks warmed and my stomach flipped as I grinned and bit down on my bottom lip. "But, you have to be okay with it, because nothing can be done unless you say it's okay." He added, sounding serious instead of playful.
I nodded my head eagerly and let out a little girlish squeal as he stood up, forcing my legs to wrap around his waist and my arms to tighten around his neck. I kissed him again as he went upstairs, carrying me. He was strong, I wasn't going to lie. I could feel his muscles flexing beneath his shirt hoisted me up further as I began to slip. This felt so exciting and nerve wracking, but I wanted it.
Austin pushed open a door to what I was assuming was his bedroom and kicked it closed with his foot before pushing me against it hard and causing a moan to escape. I'd never felt something like this before, or even knew what I was supposed to be doing, but it was coming natural and easily as I went along with it.
"You want to continue?" He asked, pulling away. There was a lustful and serious look in his eyes and I knew he wanted this, but he didn't want to continue if I didn't, which I would be insane to reject because he was handing me this opportunity, to which I was more than gladly to take.
"I'm fine, I want this." I told him softly, twisting the strands of hair on the back of his neck around my fingers.
"I just want you to be comfortable with this and not regret it." Austin said, pulling us away from the door and laying down on the bed with him on top.
"I promise you I won't," I mumbled, nudging my mouth against his. Austin hummed as his hand traveled beneath my shirt and gripped my hip. He was being so gentle, something I hadn't expected. Maybe because he knew it was my first time, or maybe because this was just some sort of act and he was going to be rough. Either way, I wanted him and wasn't going to really complain about what I got.
One by one, our clothes began to come off and soon enough we were both in our boxers, touching and gripping anywhere we pleased. He was still on top of me, forcing us both to rub against each other as we kissed.
"You sure you still want this Princess? Because we can stop at any moment if you want." Austin said, pushing himself up on his forearms and looking down at me.
"I'm positive, Aust. I want this with you." I told him truthfully. I had never expected that things would turn out this way, but I didn't hear any complaining.
He smiled brightly and leaned down, pecking my lips once before climbing from on top of me and reaching into his bedside drawer. I heard him fumbling around for something before coming back into view with a bottle of lube and a condom. It suddenly struck me how real this was becoming.
"You're a virgin, aren't you?" Austin asked, rubbing my hip gently. I nodded some and bit my lip, watching him. "I'm sure you know that this'll hurt some and I assure you I'm gonna be gentle, because I don't want to see you hurting." He added and I nodded once again, feeling my stomach flip for the thousandth time as he leaned in and kissed me once more.
"You can also tell me to stop at any given moment if it becomes too much." He told me softly, his nose nudging against mine. I couldn't form any words, so, much like I had the several times before, I nodded.
He slowly slid my boxers off, glancing at me after every few seconds the see if I had any signs of wanting to stop, but I didn't, I just kept my lip between my teeth in anticipation as they came all the way off and ended up on the floor somewhere. Austin reached for the little bottle of lube and flipped open the cap, pouring a generous amount and spreading it on his fingers.
"It's gonna feel a little weird, baby, but trust me, it'll feel better after a bit." He said and made one of my legs wrap around his hip. The pet name made me smile as I felt one of his fingers swirl around my entrance before gently pushing in, and he was right, it felt really...different. He slowly began to move it, pushing it in and out gently.
"I'm going to add another one, alright?" Austin asked me in a sweet voice and of course I gave him a little nod and he slipped another finger inside me. I felt a little pinch and more discomfort, but as soon as he began to move them, the discomfort went away and I felt numb. Soon another finger was inside me and I was in some pain, biting down hard on my lip. Austin looked like he was concentrating really hard, his tongue sticking between his teeth a little. Suddenly I felt my breath catch in my throat and a moan escape my lips as pleasure rippled through my body as Austin hit a spot somewhere inside me. He smiled in triumph and chuckled softly.
"Found it," he said, hitting that same spot again. This time I moaned louder, my head throwing back. It was unlike anything I felt before, which was very nice and I wanted more, but Austin removed his fingers and took his boxers off before he grabbed the condom along with the lube again.
"You still okay with this?" He asked, tearing open the condom and rolling it on himself.
"Yes, I'm still okay with it, just...please." I begged, sounding whiny and desperate.
"God, you sound so hot." Austin groaned, leaning down and kissing me quickly. "Are you ready?" I gave him a little nod and wrapped my arms around his neck as he slowly began to push in. I squeezed my eyes shut and let out little whimpers as he continued until he bottom out. I felt so full and he felt so big, much bigger than his fingers. It hurt so much, but eventually the pain subsided as he allowed me to adjust then began to move gently, thrusting in and out.
"Fuck, baby." Austin moaned, burying his face in my neck. I moaned, too, my nails digging in his back as he hit that spot inside me. Pleasure rippled throughout my entire body as my back arched slightly. God, it felt so good.
"F-Faster," I begged, needing more. Austin happily complied and moved his hips faster, moving my legs to wrap around his waist. I let out little pants and moans. It felt so good and I wasn't sure how much longer I could last.
"Princess, fuck..." Austin moaned in my ear as he went a little faster. He was still being gentle and careful, not going too fast, although I could tell. I'm sure he was used to it being hot and fast, but he was being so different with me.
"I-I'm close," I told him, feeling my hips jerk forward as he reached down and grabbed my member. He moved his hand quick, drawing me closer to the edge, and eventually I came, shooting all over my stomach and moaning loudly.
"B-Baby that was s-so hot," Austin whimpered as he kissed me desperately. He was getting close also and his movements were becoming irregular and soon he was shooting into the condom, letting out the hottest moan ever. He rode out his high before pulling out and taking off the condom, tying it off and throwing it into the trash bin next to the bed. I was breathless and sweaty, my head spinning in a daze as I looked at Austin who was lying next to me, his hair sticking to his forehead as a little smile played on his lips.
"That was..." he trailed off, rolling to his side and looking at me. I grinned sheepishly and rolled to my side, too. "God, you're so beautiful." He mumbled, wrapping an arm around my waist. He kissed the top of my head and I closed my eyes, snuggling closer. I didn't know what to say, but all I knew was that what we just did was the best experience of my entire life, and I wouldn't change it for the world.