"That's my problem: I think too much, and I feel too deeply. What a dangerous combination."
~ taking-back-my-life
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Alice's P.O.V
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No one spoke to me as we trudged back to the Jolly Rodger—something I was grateful for as I wouldn't have been able to speak. My heart felt heavier each second as the distance between Peter and I grew. My vision soon started to blur and I found myself constantly blinking away tears.
If I were completely honest, I would've stayed with Peter if he hadn't kept lying to me.
I didn't even realise that we had reached the Jolly Rodger until I felt sea water spritz into my face—the feeling jarring me back to the painful reality. We were leaving Neverland, and I was leaving Peter behind to die.
The seven of us quickly boarded the Jolly Rodger and Hook began to set sail. Emma was the first among us to board the ship.
"Henry?" she calls out. "Where is he?" Baelfire walks out from behind some crates, waving us over. "He's over here!"
Emma, Regina, Mary Margaret and I rush over to him. David and I watch as Emma and Regina kneel down next to the unconscious boy.
"Hold on, Henry," Regina says, bringing her son's heart to his chest. The heart pulses in her hands as she pushes Henry's heart back in his chest.
Emma leans forward. "Henry?"
We watch in anticipation for Henry to regain consciousness. But he stays motionless.
"Are we too late?" Emma asks worriedly.
Regina looks back down at her son. "Henry? Honey!"
Henry gasps, opening his eyes. A wave of relief washes over us as he sits up.
I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as he pulls both of his mothers into a hug.
"Woah, woah, woah. Take it easy, buddy," Neal says.
"I'm sorry," Henry apologies, looking from us to his mothers. "I wanted to save magic."
The rest of us look at him sympathetically, pitying the young boy.
Emma places her hand on his head affectionately, hugging him tighter. "It's okay. It's okay."
"I-I wanted to be a hero," he says, looking back at us.
"Hey, there's plenty of time for that," David tells him.
"Right now, it's time to rest," Mary Margaret adds.
"Welcome back, young sir," Hook says.
"Only the best for our guest of honour, don't you think?" Hook says cheerfully. "Captain's quarters."
"Come on, I'll tuck you in," Regina says to Henry.
****
I rake my hand through my hair, yawning as I exit the bathroom. I begin to turn a corner but stop when I bump into someone.
"Sorry, Alice. Didn't see you there," Will says.
"No, it's alright," I say, brushing the dust of the white nightgown Hook gave me.
"I wasn't looking at where I was going. Listen, about earlier—"
"Can we go into your room?" Will asks. "I need to talk to you."
"Um, sure," I say, going into the spare room Hook had assigned to me.
Will waits until I close the door to speak. "You can't talk to Lewis about what happened on the island."
"So it's true?" I ask, placing my dirty clothes on the dresser. "Lewis really loves me?"
"He does, but I'm not sure if those feelings are still the same or if he moved on when he found out that you loved Pan."
I feel a pang of guilt in my chest when Will mentions Peter. I can't get the look of heartbreak and betrayal on his face off my mind. In fact, everything I look at reminds me of him.
Neverland's forests remind me of his eyes, and how they twinkle when he shoots me one of his infamous smirks. The sea breeze reminds me of how it felt when his hands were in my hair when we were kissing.
"How's Henry?" Will asks.
"He's fine," I say. "He's with Regina. Where's Lewis and Ray?"
"They're sleeping."
"I'm sorry about Pan," he says abruptly.
I tense. "I thought you guys hated him."
"We do, but you don't," Will tells me. "Lewis and I saw how much it pained you to walk away from him. To be honest, the main reason why Lewis hated him wasn't because he kidnapped you, it was because you were falling for him and you didn't even know it."
"How—How could you tell? I didn't even know I was falling for him."
"I wasn't sure at first," He admits. "But I knew I was right when you said goodbye to Pan before we left Pixie Woods. I saw the pain in your eyes when you told him that. I saw how much you wanted to stay. You forget that I can tell when you're lying."
"What are you saying?"
"You still love him," Will states. "Just like you still love Ray. Maybe even more."
"How did—" I begin, but stop. Will's like a lie detector when it comes to me. It'd be pointless to try. "Is that that obvious?"
He shakes his head. "Not to the others."
"I don't know what to feel anymore," I sigh, sitting down on the bed.
"I love Peter," I admit. "But he's done many, many awful things. It'd be selfish to leave the two of you after all you've done."
Will sits down next to me. "Alice, you're my best friend. You and Lewis are my other halves," he begins. "I know you love both Peter and Ray, and I respect that. But please keep in mind that Ray is more fragile than he looks—he's not like Lewis, he won't know what to do if he finds out that you've been in love with Peter all along. If you really love him, please, don't lead him on."
I shake my head. "I won't."
"Promise me," Will says, taking my hands in his. "Promise me you won't give him false hope."
I squeeze his fingers. "I promise, Will."
****
I pace around the small room, attempting to read a book as I do so. I found myself lying on the bed—wide awake—after Will left the room to retire for the night. I had given up on sleeping after an hour of tossing and turning. I place the book back with a sigh. My mind is raging with too many thoughts for me to do anything. I'd like to say that I don't regret leaving Peter but I'd just be lying to myself.
I know I regret it. I probably would've stayed with him if the situation was different and if he didn't make that many bad choices. Peter can be cruel and heartless but he always managed to suppress that side of himself for my sake. At least, that was before Henry came into the picture. Peter genuinely cared about the Lost Boys, even if it didn't seem like it.
I feel a twinge—no, a pang of guilt and longing when I think of all the good times I had with Peter and how it only took me a couple seconds to decide that I wanted to leave him. The saddest thing is that we never really said goodbye. We never gave each other closure. But is it better to have had a good thing and lose it, or to never have had it at all?
The sound of something hitting the window pane startles me. And without thinking anything of it, I make my way over to the windows to look outside. Nothing. I shake my head, I must've been imaging things. I'm staring at my reflection in the window pane when I notice something—or someone—move behind me. I turn around and gasp when I see who it is.
"Peter."
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Cliffhanger. . .
Jk. You guys would probably kill me if I left a cliffhanger here xD
I just wrote this mini A/N to tell you guys that you should start playing the song above for this part. Trust me, you won't regret it ;)
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Peter's P.O.V
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"Hello, love."
She stares at me in disbelief. "W-Why are you here?"
"You know why."
Her eyes dart to the door and she contemplates whether or not she should call for help.
"Don't bother," I say, startling her. "I cast a spell on the door to make it soundproof. You can scream as much as you want—no one will hear you."
Alice ignores my previous statement, instead she demands, "How did you get here?"
I answer her question by using my magic to pull her towards me. "I may be dying but I still have some magic left."
She attempts to step back but my magic holds her in place.
My voice is low as I utter the next few words, "How could you?"
Alice finally meets my gaze, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. "How could I not?"
"You tricked a young boy into giving you his heart, you tried to turn Will against his loved ones, you—"
"You left me for dead," I snap. "You walked away from me when I was at my lowest, when I was on the verge of death. Why?"
Alice looks away. "I-I can't—"
I grit my teeth, my power over her faltering for a split second. "Don't I at least deserve to know why?"
That moment is apparently all Alice needs as she tries to run for the door. However—despite my weakened state, I am still stronger than her—I grab her by the waist before she can so much as touch the doorknob, and pull her back to my side.
"Look at me," I command.
Alice stubbornly refuses, jaw set and eyes looking straight ahead.
I have to force myself not to grab her by the chin. "Look at me."
I almost lose it when she finally looks up. I'm taken aback by the look in her eyes. They no longer have any warmth in them, instead they're glinting with pure, unadulterated rage. It's the first time I've ever seen such raw anger in her irises.
Regaining my composure, I tell her, "You're not leaving this room until you answer me." "Don't you see? I can't!" she screams, struggling in my hold.
I let go of her, almost shoving her away in the process. "What do you mean 'you can't'?"
"I can't tell you why because I don't even know the answer myself! I don't know what I feel anymore!" Alice lets out a frustrated scream, slumping onto the bed, head in her hands. "I don't want you, but I desperately need you. How is it even possible for me to have two competing emotions for you?"
"Did you even consider that it's because you still love me?" I ask, hopeful.
She looks back up at me. "I have. Believe me, many, many times."
"Well, do you?" I ask. "Do you still love me?"
Alice mutely nods.
I shake my head. "No, I want to hear you say it."
"I never meant to leave you," she says, her voice breaking.
"I want to stay," she admits shakily. "I always have and I always will. I want to be by your side so much that it physically hurts. And— And that scares me. I've never felt that way for anyone before. So I took the first opportunity I had to run. I've never been someone who's good with words so I'll come clean now and say that I'm exhausted of pretending that I'm not falling for you."
"You're my ambrosia, powerful enough to save me, but deadly enough to kill me. I knew I was as good as dead if I ever felt anything other than hatred towards you but I fell anyway—knowingly and with acceptance. I-I don't know how else to describe the way you make me feel other than that. The only rule I gave myself was not to fall in love with you, but I was never good at following rules." She looks me dead in the eye. "I love you, Peter Pan."
I stay silent, processing all the things that she said. She loves me. Alice loves me. It wasn't all in my head. I take a step forward, cupping her cheek. She doesn't resist or recoil back as I lean in. In fact, she's the one who kisses me first. I kiss her softly, wanting to savour the moment. But Alice won't have that.
She grabs me by the collar and pulls me close, telling me to kiss her harder. And I do. I bury my hand in her hair, my other hand firmly pressed on her back. I smile in the kiss, wishing that this moment could last forever. I'll never get sick of kissing her. The way she gasps when my teeth grazes her lips or the way she leans in for more. We kiss each other like alcoholics taking our last drinks.
Our clothes and gone before we know it.
***
Alice is on top of me, head resting on my chest as I trace figure eights on her hip. Our legs tangled together, hidden beneath the cotton sheets. Alice's chest rises and falls steadily, having finally caught her breath. Her body is littered with love bites as far as the eye can see. I am proud to say that I have similar marks on my torso that mirror hers.
I wish it could always be like this, Alice in my arms—The two of us against the world. But it can't. I'm still dying. I still need Henry's heart. That reminds me of the second reason why I'm here. The first was to find Alice and set things straight with her. But the second, I think it's safe to say that it will be much easier than the first. I have to take Henry's heart back, but I'll have to make sure Alice cannot stop me from doing that.
I pull away just as Alice's lips brush across my jaw.
"Is something wrong?" she asks.
I card my hand through her disheveled hair. "I haven't been entirely honest with you, love."
"What do you mean by that?" she asks, sitting up so that she's straddling me.
I prop myself up on the bed with my elbows. "I didn't just come here for you."
"What else could—" Alice's face falls as realisation washes over her features. "You came for Henry's heart."
I nod.
"You're still at it," she says, disappointed.
I nod once more. "I am."
"You can't steal his heart again, Peter. I— I won't let you."
"I know, love," I say, sadly.
"Then why—"
"I have to if we want to be together," I say, gently lifting her off me.
She stands up as I pull my trousers. "I-I. . . You—" She looks at me with pleading eyes, lost for words.
"I'm sorry," I say, kissing her on the forehead. "But I have to do this."
And with those words said I grab my shirt and teleport myself out of the room, right behind the door.
The sound of Alice's footfalls on the wooden floor tell me that she's right behind the door.
"Peter, please," she begs, her voice muffled by the thickness of the door.
"It's for your own good," I tell her, although I'm not sure if I'm trying to convince her or myself. "I don't want you to get hurt in the crossfire."
I wave my hand over the door, casting a powerful spell on it.
The door glows faintly, signalling that she won't be able to leave unless I want her to. I place my hand on the door, feeling it vibrate as she bangs on the door with her fists.
"I'm sorry," I whisper, turning around. I walk away from the only person in the world (other than Felix, of course) who loves me as I make my way to Henry's room.
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Okay, this cliffhanger is real. Hope you guys liked this chapter, it took me quite sometime to write it (that's an understatement) because of my exams. I haven't managed to watch the newest OUAT episode (the one after Sisters) because of that so please don't spoil it for me ⚠ SPOILERS WILL BE BLOCKED ⚠
Anyway... THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR 50 KAY READS!!! I still can't believe that this book has more than 1 Kay reads, I wasn't even expecting it to get more than 5 Kay reads tbh. And as promised I will update a Q&A chapter, but it'll be the last chapter of this book.
I was wondering if you guys wanted me to do more than just a Q&A because I was thinking that maybe I could add in stuff like "10 Facts About Me" or smth like that when I'm done with this book. Idek yet so comment below if you want me to do that, too.
I apologise for making you guys wait so long for this chapter, but I assume that the amount of fluff makes up for it, am I right? ;)
Well, that's all of this A/N, I'm gonna read a book or smth. Bye ❤
~ Alice ☺ xx
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