Elizabeth~ June 2009
Graduation day.
I've been thinking about this for months.
As I walked down the aisle to the gigantic stage, people standing from their seats on either side of me, I looked around for my aunt Alice. She was here for my mother, taking a video of the graduation for her. I waved when I found her, she was smiling widely and waving frantically back at me. She looked just as excited as I felt.
While I made my way up the stairs and onto the stage, I couldn't help but wonder how my mother was feeling. She'd been the center of most of my thoughts for a long time now. Being in the hospital for six months, she was undergoing treatments for pancreatic cancer, and she was in her third stage with only a couple months left. She knew she would not live much longer. Oh, how I wished she were here now.
Sitting down and looking around at all my crazy forensics buddies, I wondered where I would end up. Here in Arizona, there was a lot to offer. But who knows? I could end up working in a pizza joint.
The dean called my name and I walked up to get my diploma. Aunt Alice got up and gave me a standing ovation. The look on her face made me smile so big, the muscles in my face started hurting. I loved her. She was my best friend and my mom's. She made us both happy. I remembered looking at pictures of them growing up in Marina Del Rey, California. They always looked like they were having so much fun; it made me wish I had a sibling. I held my diploma up and gave the camera the "peace" sign with my hand. She started laughing and I started crying. It was all just too surreal. I couldn't believe I was finally out of school, college, and everything that had to do with taking classes.
"Please put your hands together for the Graduating Class of 2009," the dean announced proudly.
I held hands with my friends and we threw our caps into the air.
That was it. My smile couldn't get any happier as I laughed for maybe the last time with my friends, giving them all hugs of good luck.
Wow. How fast things could go. This is crazy, I thought.
I tried to walk off the stage, but I was caught in the crowd of people with cameras. After a few pictures, I walked towards my aunt and gave her a bear hug. She looked very petite in her little yellow sun dress. She was so bright and colorful. Then there was me in my yellow graduation gown and red cap. Even though these were bright and colorful, I looked very dull in comparison to aunt Alice. She was blonde and tan from the Arizona sun, with cute little curls all around her head. I had pale skin despite the sun and I had little curl to my brunette colored hair. Her eyes were green and bright, my eyes were apparently like my father's, grayish blue. I was always jealous of she and my mom's green eyes, because mine reminded me of a stormy sky; not very pretty at all.
My mother once told me I looked like my father, though I had never met him before. She said that when she found out she was pregnant, she'd told him to leave because she wanted to raise me on her own. That was the only story about my father I was told growing up, and I never doubted it. I had no reason to.
"Well, now that graduation is over," aunt Alice piped joyfully, "we should go and re-live it with your mother!"
"Of course, let's go!" I declared. I couldn't wait for my mom to see the graduation.
"She'll be SO proud of you!" aunt Alice squealed.
So we made our way to Maricopa Medical Center, which was only about 10 minutes away from the college. Once we got there, I had to ask where my mom was because she got moved around sometimes. So just to make sure...
"Could you tell me where Evelyn Mitchel is?" I questioned the elderly nurse at the front desk.
"Just let me see here..." she uttered. She fooled around with her computer for a bit until a look of realization crossed her face. "Oh, I'm sorry Elizabeth," the woman chuckled. "I didn't recognize you at first. She's in room 129. Second floor."
"Thank you," I replied. I came to the hospital quite often, so most of the staff recognized me.
We took the elevator to the second floor and walked to room 129. I peeked my head through the door to see that my mother was asleep, but as soon as we walked in, she woke up. It was as if she knew it was us. My mom, before she knew she had cancer, was absolutely stunning. She had blonde, curly hair just like my aunt, the only difference being that she kept it long. She used to be tan but she'd been stuck in a hospital for 6 months without much sun. Her skin was now a ghastly yellow color, jaundice taking over her coloring. It was very unnatural. Her green eyes were still gorgeous. Even now they were bright and beautiful; a remnant of the woman she used to be. Of course, she was still the same woman she was before the cancer, just not as vibrant.
"Well, hello there," my mother croaked. "How was graduation?"
"Why don't you see for yourself?" aunt Alice muttered as she plugged in the video to the TV and pressed play.
It went through me walking down the aisle to the stage and getting my diploma to the "peace" sign. She laughed at that part. I was glad she liked it because I know aunt Alice's video skills aren't the best. As she watched the video, I watched her. She looked so fragile in her bed, with IV's in her arm and her yellowing skin. She was only 51 and she looked like an 80 year old woman. Not wrinkly, but frail and weak with hardly any hair.
After the video was over, we sat there and talked for a bit. Mostly about nothing, just something that would pass the time. I think it was a good day for all of us, my mom even seemed happy, and that alone made my day.
"Well," aunt Alice smiled, getting up out of her chair, "I think I'm gonna go Evie; Davey has a soccer game and I promised him I would be there for his big win! He's so excited about it. So, I'll see ya later." Davey is her 10 year old son, my cousin. Aunt Alice is 35; she was a surprise to my grandparents, who only planned on having one child.
"Okay, Alice. I'll see ya," my mom said cheerfully. I could've died; figuratively of course. I looked at Aunt Alice, waving goodbye. She looked like she was about to cry. This was the happiest mom had been probably since she got in here. Maybe it was a good sign. Maybe she was getting a little better, but I knew I was thinking too optimistically.
"Well Elizabeth, now that your Aunt has left, I need to tell you something very important," she stated, kind of seriously. I got a little worried. I wonder what she wants to talk about without aunt Alice here, I thought.
"Okay mom, what do ya wanna talk about?" I responded, trying to be positive.
"It's about your father." I froze. She hadn't talked about him since I was young, so I listened intently to what she had to say. "I know where you can find him. That is, of course, if you want to," she muttered. She was being more serious than usual.
"Want to? He walked out on you remember?" I retorted, shocked.
"No, no you're twisting my story. I told him that he would be better off without me. I broke it off with him when I found out I was pregnant with you. But I never told him I was pregnant. I guess I just felt too self-sufficient and arrogant. Maybe going through a stage of 'being too independent for a guy to take care of me or whatever," she babbled, then finished with a cough. "I'm telling you this because I want you to find him. You know I've always wanted you to get married. I wanted him to walk you down the aisle. I know you want that too. He really was a great man. Too good to be with someone like me. I was just a stupid kid and I told him to go."
At this point, I was almost in tears. I couldn't bring myself to remark on her words. Why didn't she tell me this earlier? Why would she tell him to leave if he was a great man? Why would she lead me to believe that he wasn't? All these questions buzzed through my head, but I only had one extremely important question to ask her.
"What is his name?" I inquired anxiously.
"His name is Gilbert Grissom. He works at the Las Vegas Crime Lab," she breathed. Her face was completely solemn and she started to get even more pale than she already was. "As far as I know," she continued.
"Isn't that where you told me I would have a good chance at getting a job?"
"Yes, and that's exactly the reason."
"So, what? I go there, say that he's my father and I automatically get a job? Mom, I don't think it works like that!"
"No, it doesn't, but you have the potential. Alice has told me how well you have done in your classes and that you were super close to being at the top of your class. I think they should seriously consider taking you in," she gasped.
"Mom, you aren't looking so good. I'm gonna get a nurse." I said, ignoring her ramblings and got up from the spot where I was sitting on her bed. She grabbed my arm and she pulled me back. I was surprised by the strength she still had in her. That didn't last long and she laid back on her pillow. I stayed anyways, letting her go on.
"Elizabeth, you're an amazing young woman. You deserve a chance."
"You can say that, but that doesn't mean they will believe it," I whispered.
"Please, just promise me now that you will go and find him, get the job and then go get married?" she demanded, though she still managed to chuckle breathlessly. I wasn't sure about this. My mother wouldn't be able to give me away at my wedding. That was if and when I had one. She wasn't going to be alive much longer. That thought itself brought me to tears.
"...I-I promise" I muttered, hot tears falling down my cheeks.
"G-good. I'm glad. I'll love you forever," she stuttered, her voice becoming almost soundless.
"I love you too, mommy," I sniffled, smiling.
She smiled back, a huge grin. Her eyes crinkled with one the happiest smiles I've ever seen on her face. "And when you find him, tell him I said to ride a rollar coaster for me."
I chuckled and choked back tears, "I will," I said with conviction. She smiled again and closed her eyes. Her breathing was still wild and her heartbeat was quickening. Then she seemed to be gasping for air and I had to get up to alert someone of what was happening. When I came back with a nurse, her heart monitor was going crazy and her eyes were open wide.
"What's wrong?! What's going on?!" I shrieked.
"I don't know! Get the doctor in here, stat!" she called to one of the other nurses.
"Why can't she breathe?!" I shouted at the doctor as he rushed through the door. He went to check out what was wrong.
Soon the room was filled with nurses as the doctor trying to figure out what was wrong. No one ever told me. They basically pushed me out the door so they could do what they could. So I called aunt Alice on my cell. When I looked through the window to the room, everyone was sort of calm again. Maybe they fixed whatever was wrong because I couldn't see my mother. When aunt Alice answered, the doctor walked out, and I had to tell her to hold on one second so he could fill me in. His face was very solemn and I could feel the blood drain out of my face. I already knew what he was going to say.
"Ms. Mitchel, I'm sorry but... Your mother... Has passed away..." he admitted grimly.
I couldn't move.
All I could do was stand there and stare. I could hear aunt Alice on the phone but I didn't say anything. I couldn't. I was frozen.
Eventually, she just hung up. She didn't call back. The doctor seemed worried and I could tell because he took me to the waiting room and sat me in a chair and told one of the nurses to get me something to drink. They brought me water and put it in my hand. I still just sat there. I knew I had to be in shock.
What I thought was going to be a great day turned out to be the worst day of my entire life.