With all the song suggestions, I was inspired.
A long chapter for you, before the end.
Enjoy!
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Those three words never left her mouth.
Now that she thinks about it, she has never said those words to anyone before except her parents. She would jokingly tell her brother and sister, but even if she said it in a joking way; she meant it.
Here's the thing, this might not have anything to do with her life now, but she remembers wanting to graduate high school so badly. Shit, actually it does apply. She remembers just wanting to be an adult so she can have her own apartment, her own place to be herself and love whoever she loves. She promised herself that not a day would go by without her telling the girl she loved that she loved her. She thought it was ridiculous on how she was thinking about love at the age of sixteen, when she didn't even have a crush on anyone at the time. Then Magy came, but she's no longer apart of her "love life".
People expect too much when it comes to love, that's something else she didn't like about love. When you see someone propose to the person they love, it's extravagant! There will never be a simple proposal where the guy gets down on his knee and bluntly says,"Will you marry me?" Never. Never! Love was something extraordinary and Y/N always thought since it was, she would never experience it.
So because of that, she never bothered to learn how it felt to really love someone. She didn't even know if she really loved Magy. She thinks she knows about love, because she's read so many books about two people falling in love. So she grew tired of the boy falling in love with the girl, and searched for some Camren fanfics because those writers seemed to know more about love than Nicholas Sparks. What the fuck happened to him that made him want to write a story about a girl, who was dying, and a boy, a bad boy (no fucking surprise), and make them fall in love? Then end up killing the girl before they could get their happily ever after!
"Predictable." She turned her head, finding the green eyed girl looking at the TV. She quirked her eyebrow, not knowing what Lauren was talking about."This entire movie is predictable. The two main characters fall in love, then one of them die. Predictable." She repeated.
Y/N stared at her, watching her scoff then pick the controller up to change the channel. If she was being honest, she wasn't even watching the movie. She's seen the movie several times before, it never failed to not make her cry. She also thought it was predictable. Landon and Jamie's story is predictable, maybe not to the people who first watched it, but it's predictable to people who live now in 2016.
She started wondering, if there was a movie about her life, about her life now, would it be predictable? From the moment her friendship with Lauren started, to this exact moment. This moment could be called...Friends, she settled as she looked back to Lauren, feeling a smile subconsciously forming on her lips as she heard Lauren humming a tune.
"Laur," The green eyed girl stopped humming, quirked her eyebrow at the girl. It didn't occur to her until now, as she looks at Lauren's face, and notices how far they are from each other. Why aren't we cuddling?, Y/N looked at where she was seated and noticed the pitch black cushion. She was sitting on a couch she has never seen before in her life."What's going on?" She asked the green eyed girl.
"We're not friends, Y/N."
Y/N furrowed her eyebrows,"What?" Lauren shut the TV off, confusing Y/N even more when the TV turned back on after Lauren threw the controller on the floor.
"Friends just sleep in another bed." Lauren stood up, walking slowly towards Y/N. She smiled as she stood in front of the girl."Friends don't treat me like you do." Green eyes closed, and Y/N suddenly felt a tug in her heart when she heard Lauren sing,"But my friends won't love me like you. No, my friends won't love me like you."
"Lauren, I–"
"Don't." Y/N quirked her eyebrow, not knowing if she was speaking or quoting a song."If you say it, everything will change." Lauren told her seriously, leaning forward to be closer to Y/N's face. She caught the girl look at her lips, which made her lick them slowly."And friends shouldn't kiss me like you do." She whispered quietly, ghosting the girl's lips before standing up straight.
Her eyes closed as she heard start singing a different song, she didn't recognize the song but she told herself to remember the lyrics that stuck out the most to her,"Now I can't sing a love song, like the way it's meant to be. Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore, but baby, that's just me." Her voice was soothing, she sang it so calmly that it actually gave her hope.
Then suddenly, she felt herself being rushed out of the apartment building. And now she found herself in the rain, still confused but also cold because....it's cold! She liked it though, it hasn't rained in California in a while now. Which also confused her too, it's raining. Something is obviously wrong, but as she looked up from the ground, she saw Lauren looking up at the sky with her arms spread out. She had the widest smile on her lips, and a laugh was continuously escaping her lips as she let the rain wash her.
And Y/N felt lyrics float around her brain, she shoved her hands into her pockets as she watched Lauren happily stand in the rain. I'm jealous of the rain. She took a deep breath, not understanding anything that is going on anymore. But nevertheless, she enjoyed this moment because she was actually feeling it now.
She felt it.
She felt her heart break as it fell for Lauren.
The wind picked up, making her shiver now as Lauren still stood there happily. She hugged herself, trying to keep herself warm as she saw the wind blow Lauren's hair out of her face. The rain still falling, hitting the ground so hard that she could hear it hit the pavement. I'm jealous of the wind.
And now, out of nowhere, where the fuck did she come from? She saw the two hug, the rain hitting them hard but for some reason they were....happy. She felt her heart start being brushed away, by someone who knew how this would all end. She gulped down the lump in her throat,"I'm jealous of the way you're happy without me." She wasn't sure if she was crying, with the rain, she wasn't sure if Lauren was crying either. Fuck. Did they hear me?
And then she finally heard the words being said,"Lauren, I love you." Once she did, the rain stopped and all that was heard...was someone's heart. She ran her hand through her wet hair, struggling to untangle it but when she did, she dropped her hand down to her side. She met glassy green eyes, knowing why she was on the verge of tears she took slow steps backwards,"I'm not sorry." She sniffled, her voice cracking when she said,"I'm in love with you, Lauren."
"Everything has changed." Camila said beside the glassy green eyed girl. Y/N quickly turned on her heel and ignored Lauren shouts of her name.
"Y/N!" Her voice sounded sad, and it cracked.
"Y/N." Her voice sounded soft.
"Y/N..." She sounded like she was singing now.
"Oh my god, Y/N, wake up."
Y/N suddenly picked her head up, finding that she was in the hallway. Then she heard a soft giggle, making her turn her head and find green eyes looking at her with a smile on her lips."When did I get here?" She asked Lauren, standing up hurriedly to be standing far away from the girl.
Lauren frowned when she saw the distance between them, wondering why Y/N was acting like this."I don't know. But I finished early at the studio–"
"Wait. Studio?" Y/N questioned confusedly, looking at Lauren confused. Lauren nodded slowly, her eyebrows furrowed as she saw Y/N look around the hall then down at her clothes."I didn't....I mean...., is it raining?"
"When does it rain in California?" Lauren retorted, looking at Y/N worriedly now. She moved closer to her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder as she asked,"Are you okay?"
Y/N nodded, glancing at the hand Lauren had on her shoulder."Tired. That's it." She told her honestly, sighing quietly after as she moved past Lauren to their apartment."I'm gonna take a nap–"
"What about your plans with Camila?" Y/N turned around to look at her, confusion on her face."She texted me telling me that you two made plans to hang out." She smiled after, and Y/N remembered everything before she fell asleep in the middle of the hallway.
"Uh, right..." she cleared her throat, unlocking the door to their apartment."Since you're texting her, telling her to come over in ten." Y/N told her, rushing into the apartment and into the bathroom. Lauren walked in after her, confused from what just happened between them just now. But texted Camila anyway, then shoved her phone into her back pocket as she walked into her room to find Y/N staring at the sticky note on the wall above the bed.
"What are you doing?" Lauren asked her, her eyebrows connected with confusion.
Y/N tore her gaze away from it, the recent promise they made now memorized in her brain after rereading it. She shook her head at Lauren, rushing past her and trying to get that dream out of her mind. She then quickly opened a cabinet, looking at her medicine that she hadn't taken since she moved in with Lauren. But now she feels like she needs to, she shut the cabinet before she could and leaned against the kitchen counter.
"Y/N," Lauren said as she walked into the kitchen, walking closer to her to stand right in front of her. She looked at Y/N's face, examining it to check if anything was wrong. Y/N gulped when she felt Lauren grab her face with her hands, looking into her eyes like she was looking for something."you're okay." Lauren stated more than questioned, Y/N nodded with her face still in between Lauren's hands.
"We are friends." Y/N said, dropping her head to get out of Lauren's hold. The green eyed girl frowned while her confusion came back, then moved aside when Y/N walked past her again.
"Yeah." Lauren said watching Y/N sit on the couch with a nervous expression."Where did that come from?" Y/N shrugged, tapping her foot nervously as she stared blankly ahead of her.
"When's Camila coming over?" She honestly wanted to get it over with.
"I'm telling her not to come over yet until I find out what's wrong." Lauren said seriously, walking over to sit beside the girl on the couch. Y/N's leg bounced up and down now, making Lauren stop it with placing her hand on top of it. Y/N looked at her, shaking her head after not wanting to talk at all."Y/N." Lauren said firmly this time, in hope it will make the girl speak.
"I don't want to talk, Lauren."
"Why?"
"Because..." Y/N closed her eyes, angry with herself for not coming up with something. She really needs to talk to someone about that dream, does it mean something or...., was it just a dream? She groaned loudly before standing up abruptly, running her hand through her hair before meeting Lauren's concerned eyes. She took a quiet deep breath, swallowing the lump in her throat before saying,"Thank you."
"What?" Lauren said confusedly.
"If someone randomly told you they loved you, how would you react?" Y/N questioned her, only confusing the green eyed girl even more.
"Uh..." Lauren tilted her head, her eyebrows furrowed as she looked at the girl."..., I guess it depends who it comes from." She said shrugging afterward.
What if it came from me? "Oh, okay." Y/N said before sitting down on the couch, far away from Lauren. She looked down at her hands, sighing deeply before meeting Lauren's questioning eyes.
"Y/N,–"
There was a knock on the door, making Y/N and Lauren turn their heads to look at it. Lauren got up first, Y/N following behind her slowly with her head down. When Lauren opened the door, Y/N picked her head up and took a deep breath.
Camila stood there with a small smile, that only widen when Lauren kissed her on the cheek. So Y/N made her way to the couch while the couple talked, catching up on what they didn't text about. The girl sat on the couch, tapping the coffee table with her finger as she tried to get her mind off the dream she had. There has to be a reason why I had it. Those words kept running through her mind, making her wonder even more about the dream. She didn't remember the little details, she just remembers Lauren....then Camila, then waking up.
"Okay," Y/N picked her head up, saw Camila and Lauren standing by the entrance of the living room. She sat up, leaned back on the couch as she look at Lauren talk,"I'm gonna go hang out with Normani. For an hour maybe." Lauren sent Y/N a look, one that the girl understood as 'be nice.' But Y/N looked away only, not knowing how to respond to that, and when Lauren saw what she did; she sighed before looking at Camila."You be nice too." She muttered to the brown eyed Latina, Camila nodded before moving to take a seat in front of Y/N.
Lauren looked over at Y/N, seeing her playing with a pen that she got off the coffee table. She simply sighed again before telling goodbye and making her way out of the apartment. But as she opened the door, she heard Y/N's quiet voice,"Sad to think she don't see what I see." She shook her head, thinking she heard it in her mind instead of reality.
Camila quirked her eyebrow at Y/N, then heard the door close meaning Lauren had left. Y/N took a deep breath, then looked at Camila while asking,"So, what do you wanna do?"
"Lauren told me you like music."
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"Can I tell you something?" Lauren turned her head, finding a different pair eyes staring at her instead of the ones she wanted. But she nodded, letting the girl know she could."I'm scared."
"Of?" Lauren asked her cautiously, moving closer to her.
"You're not really in love with me." Camila said, her head turning back to look at the view of the city from where they were from. Lauren furrowed her eyebrows, confused from what the girl just told her."At least, you don't love as much as you love...." When she saw Camila point in a direction, she turned her head and smiled at just seeing the girl sitting there."...her."
Then Lauren shook her head, turned back to Camila and told her,"She's my best friend. Of course I love her. But not–"
"In that way?" Camila quirked her eyebrow, scoffing quietly making Lauren frown."You're just as oblivious as she is."
"I'm sorry, but do you know something I don't?" Lauren turned her body, leaning against the railing as she looked at Camila. The brown eyed girl huffed, crossed her arms and stayed quiet."I love you, Camila."
"But not as much as you love her. I know." Lauren felt something stab her heart, making her look down at the ground as she felt her eyes water."Hey." Camila called out, making the green eyed girl pick her head up."She wants you happy, that's why she's making us happen."
"What?"
"You know what, Lauren." Camila said shaking her head at the girl."But damn, that girl really loves you if she's letting all this happen –us happen, right in front of her. Mentally, emotionally this might be taking a toll on her."
"I don't underst–"
"Maybe that's why she's leaving." Camila pointed again, and Lauren turned her head and saw Y/N walking away with her head down. Turning back to look at Camila, the brown eyed girl nodded,"Well...., go after her." And Lauren did, she chased after her but as she found herself running, she found herself in a....train station.
"Y/N!"
The girl turned around, her hoodie up as she questionably looked around for the person who called her name. Lauren rushed towards her, and stood in front of her with glassy eyes.
"Don't leave. Please."
Lauren saw the girl smile sadly, making her shake her head frantically as she heard her words,"I have to."
"Please. What can I do to make you stay?" Lauren asked hurriedly, the tears in her eyes betraying her determination.
"Just leave your lover..."
Lauren felt there was more to those lyrics, but she couldn't recall hearing the song before. So she shook her head, feeling like this whole thing was a test right now. She shook her head frantically as the tears rolled down her cheeks,"I love her."
"I know." The green eyed girl heard her say quietly, then watched her start walking away.
"But I love you too!" Lauren shouted after her, following closely behind. And when she saw the girl stop in front of her, then turn around, she saw the tears in her eyes.
"But not as much as you love her. I know." She heard the rasp in her voice."I love you too, Lauren." And then watched her walk away.
"No!" Lauren yelled, trying to go after her, but her feet were glued to the floor."Y/N, please!"
"Lauren!"
Green eyes widen with shocked before sitting up abruptly. Normani looked at her weirdly, also with a worried expression, but still looked at her friend weirdly."Girl, are you okay?" Normani asked the girl.
"Uh..." Lauren looked around, finding herself in Normani's apartment before standing up."I have to go."
"Okay..." Normani said as she watched Lauren rush out of her apartment. She shook her head as she picked her dog up,"They are meant to be." She cooed at her dog.
Lauren quickly unlocks her apartment door, rushing in and heard laughs. But she ignored those and rushed into the living room to find Camila and Y/N sitting on the couch...smiling.
"Hey, Lauren." Y/N chuckled out, raising her eyebrow at the girl after.
"How'd you know it was me?" Lauren asked, setting her keys on the counter as she walked towards them slowly.
The two friends shared amused glances, then turned back to look at Lauren.
"Well," Camila started, which made Lauren look away from Y/N."this is your apartment."
Rolling her eyes, Lauren slumped her shoulders before turning her attention to the other girl."And...," Y/N shrugged, Lauren smiled at how adorable she looked when she did."Well I know when you're around cause I know the sound of your heart."
Lauren blushed, and it didn't go unnoticed by Camila. So when Camila looked over at Y/N, she wasn't surprised when she saw the smile on her lips. Clearing her throat loudly, Camila caught the attention of both girls and gestured Y/N to Lauren."I was explaining to her how our date went."
"Uh, no you were–"
"Yeah. We went on top of an abandon building's rooftop and we talked all night..." Y/N blocked out the rest Camila said after that part, she was staring at Lauren with an unreadable expression.
"Our place?" Y/N asked Lauren, making Camila stop talking and purse her lips. When she saw the guilty expression on Lauren's face, she stood up and shook her head. She walked right past Lauren, leaving Camila confused and Lauren guilty.
It was only a minute later when Lauren heard Camila,"Well," the Latina stood in front of Lauren, squeezed her shoulder and said,"go after her."
And Lauren did.
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She came here because she thought it was the perfect weather for it. But as she stands here, she's glad she had a hoodie on.
"It never rains in California my ass." Y/N muttered, shoving her hands into her hoodie's pockets. She let out a long breath, the small raindrops growing bigger and hitting the ground, and her, harder.
"I knew I'd find you here."
She shook her head, her jaw clenched as she kept her gaze out into the city.
"You promised no running."
"And you promised no chasing."
Lauren stopped walking, her heart dropped when she remembered that promise. She's regretting on making that promise.
"I wouldn't have to break that promise if you didn't break that one first."
Y/N shook her head, keeping her hood up as she turned to look at the green eyed girl. She saw the girl wearing one of her sweaters, the hood up covering her head."This is our place, Lauren."
"I know."
"Really? Are you sure? Because Camila thinks it's yours and hers." Lauren furrowed her eyebrows, not being able to hear so she walked closer to the girl.
"I don't know what you want me to say." Lauren sighed tiredly, pushing her hoodie off her head to run her fingers through her wet hair.
Y/N looked up at the sky, letting the raindrops hit her face before sighing."I don't know either." She admitted quietly, dropping her head before looking at Lauren. Green eyes watched her curiously, making her mind go back to the dream she had earlier."Dreams don't always come true, right?"
Lauren tilted her head to the side confusedly, but answered anyway,"Not unless you make it happen."
"I want that dream to come true." Y/N told her, not caring that she didn't understand. She furrowed her eyebrows, squinting her eyes to look into Lauren's eyes."I'm sorry."
"For what?" Lauren asked her confusedly, then she glanced around nervously."I'm not dreaming, right?"
Y/N smiled a little, letting out a small chuckle as she shook her head."No." She sighed sadly,"This is reality."
"Then what are you sorry for?" Lauren asked her, grabbing the girl's hand. Y/N looked down at their intertwined fingers, and that's when she decided against doing it.
"Nothing." Y/N looked at her green eyes, that were actually clouded with some grey right now, making her smile at how beautiful they look. When she saw Lauren give her a worried look, she shook her head and pulled her in for a hug,"there's nobody in the world like you."
Lauren smiled, squeezing the girl tightly as she wrapped her arms around her waist. And then Lauren remembered her dream, her heart breaking little by little as she remembered not being able to go after Y/N."I think of you whenever I'm alone..." Lauren pulled away, looking up at Y/N, and the younger girl wasn't sure if it was the rain or if she was really crying, but when Lauren said,"so please don't go." She was sure she saw a tear roll down her cheek.
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Woah, there were so many song lyrics that I used. And this is possibly the longest chapter thus far. And I think you guys are going to hate me because of the next chapter...
Okay, so I used a lot of the songs you guys suggested. And I have to thank you guys for doing that, and if I didn't I'm sorry but I just didn't see where I could put it.
-How many of you were confused at the beginning!? ✋🏼
-How do you feel now that I'm telling you this story is almost over?
-How many of you are mad at Lauren for taking Camila to the rooftop? ✋🏼
As always, I have to let you guys know every chapter; I love you all, cuties!❤️
Until the next chapter!
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(P.S. please don't go.)