Something that is important to know about Harry is when he is sad he ages up. I know in a lot age-play stories littles regress when they're upset, but Harry returns to an age similar to his biological age as a way of protecting himself.
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"Daddy," Louis squeals as Liam prepares his lunch. The boy bangs his hands down on the plastic surface in excitement. He's sitting in his high chair next to Harry. Harry is poking the little tiger on his bib and making growls that sound nowhere near intimidating.
"Hold your horses, buckaroo," Liam chuckles.
He's been in his little space for a few days now, and the daddies couldn't be happier. There has been a few struggles, like Louis not communicating what he wants very well and crying more but the extra cuddliness more than makes up for it. He has even started warming up to Liam as much as he has with Zayn, which makes the younger husband's heart melt. The smallest boy's speech patterns have changed significantly as well. When he does form full words, his Rs and Ls sound more like Ws.
Louis picks up his sippy cup of cold water and chugs a third of it down. Zayn sets his rubber coated fork on his table and Liam comes over with his plastic plate holding spaghetti and sets it in front of the boy.
"S'ghetti!"
Before Liam has a chance to sit down, Louis uses his fingers to scoop some of the pasta up but it's so hot he feels his fingers burn and he drops the noodles. "Ow," he howls and retracts his hand. He brings his fingers up to his mouth to suck them clean.
"Are you alright," Zayn asks in alarm.
Louis frowns. "Hot! Hot! Hot!"
The younger boy saw what happened to his brother and curiosity gets the best of him. Harry tries picking up some noodles as well and lets out a whimper, flinging the noodles to the floor. "Owie!"
"Harry," Zayn says in slight frustration. "Why did you do that?"
The boy ignores his question and holds his fingers out to show his Papa. "Kiss my booboo?"
His frustration melts away when Harry gives him those big doe eyes. He uses a cloth and gently pats away the tomato sauce before kissing each of his five fingers even though it was only his thumb, pointer and middle finger that were burned.
"No more touching your food like that," Liam says sternly. "That goes for the both of you. We want you safe, so let us feed you. Understand?"
The boys nod, regretting their decision to touch hot food. Liam cleans the food from the ground and wipes Louis' hand off.
Liam throws the paper towels into the bin before taking his rightful seat in front of Louis. The husbands have settled on sending the boys to the playroom when they are finished eating and they will use that time to eat their lunch because eating and feeding two messy little boys at the same time is near impossible.
The man picks up the fork and twirls some pasta around. He makes sure to blow on it well enough for it to cool down. He holds it to Louis' mouth and the boy eagerly takes the bite, making cute grumbles similar to Harry's. Louis chews with his mouth open and Liam frowns, telling him to close it before food falls out. It's too late. There is already sauce on his bib.
He loads the fork up again and lifts it, but the boy moves his face to the side. "Twain," Louis says.
Liam nods in understanding. He's incredibly happy Louis is little right now and actually wants to play. "Here comes the choo choo train!"
The food goes into Louis' wide waiting mouth. He claps. "'gain! 'gain!"
"Chuga chuga chuga! Choo! Choo," the man says with excitement.
Louis happily devours the food he is given. Zayn watches Louis and Liam and doesn't pay much attention to the boy sitting in the high chair he's leaning on except when he turns to give him more pasta.
"Being such a good boy, Louis. Eating everything Daddy gives you. Good little boy," Liam coos.
It honestly hurts Harry to see someone else receiving so much affection and attention from his daddies. The men who had spent the past few years giving in to his every want and need. Who laughed at his jokes and the silly displays. The men who tickle him everyday after bath time and used to cuddle him together at night time. He loves Louis but it hurts that no one is watching and cooing at him. He's not getting any praise for the fact that his face and bib are more clean than usual. His Papa isn't making choo choo noises for him.
Jealousy washes over Harry despite how understanding he is trying to be. He knows that Louis never had daddies who loved him until recently, but Louis needs to learn how to share!
"Awww, Dove! You got some sauce in your hair," Zayn points out.
Louis giggles and reaches up to feel where the man is talking about. By doing so he spreads even more spaghetti sauce in his hair that had previously gotten on his fingers.
"And it looks like you just got even more," Liam says, shaking his head fondly.
Zayn goes to feed Harry more of his lunch, but he turns his head to stare at the wall. "What's wrong, H?"
"Full," Harry lies. To make the fib more believable he pats his tummy.
"Okay, Babe. Well, as soon as your brother is finished ,I'll take you upstairs," the dark haired man tells him.
"Might as well take him now," Liam remarks. "A certain someone is gonna need a bath!"
Louis shakes his head. "No bath!"
"Oh, yes bath," the man says in return.
"Want to go up now," Zayn asks Harry and the boy isn't sure if it was possible to say "yes" faster than he did.
So the man cleans Harry's face and hands, still not complimenting him on staying clean. He unties the bib and Harry feels a bit bad he didn't get to say goodbye to the tiger. His dishes are rinsed and put in the dishwasher and his highchair's table is wiped down before Zayn finally unhinges it and helps him out.
Zayn picks Harry up and the boy sends Louis a possessive look that goes unnoticed by the blue eyes.
Harry tightens his arms around the warm neck and rests his head on Zayn's shoulder. He hums happily now that all of the man's attention is on him. He likes being on Papa's hip the more than Daddy's anyway.
The boy is brought upstairs and his filled nappy is changed. He was so distracted by everything going on and his mind has been so consumed with jealousy that he didn't even notice how badly he needed to be changed.
"Okay, to the playroom," Zayn says more to himself than Harry.
He carries the boy down the hallway and to the toy filled room. The room looks empty and a fair amount of the toys have been neglected for the past few days, even Louis' precious keyboard. It's just not the same without his brother in here. Louis being so clingy has meant that he hasn't spent much time playing games in here. It's been quite lonely for the youngest because he's grown so accustomed to having a playmate.
"Wanna color," Harry asks.
"Sure, Baby," the man says warmly.
Harry takes Zayn's hand and tugs him over to the art table. They take their seats across from each other and Harry smiles brightly at the victory he has of one on one time with his Papa.
Zayn pulls out one piece of paper instead of two. The curly haired boy looks at him and frowns. "Don't ya wanna color?"
"I'm sorry, Sweetie, just not today. I'd rather just watch," Zayn says.
Harry nods. He's sad, but at least he still gets this moment with Zayn.
The boy grabs a purple crayon and is about to press it to the paper, but he pulls back and taps it on his chin. "What should I make?"
"How about you color something for Grammy?"
Harry's eyes lit up. He loves Grammy! "We going to see her," he asks excitedly.
Zayn shakes his head. "No, they're coming here."
"Really?! When? Today?"
Zayn chuckles at his little boy. "Not today. Next week."
The boy smiles so big his face hurts. "I'm gonna draw Grammy a flower!"
"Sounds sweet, just like you," Zayn coos.
Harry got to work. He starts off making a stem. It doesn't occur to him that flower stems aren't purple. He adds little thorns to it. From the top of the stem he began with a bud and then draws in petals.
"'member when Grampy took us fishing," Harry giggles.
"Yeah, why," Zayn asks.
Harry laughs at the memory playing in his head. "You 'nd Daddy felled off the boat!"
"Hey," Zayn gasps. He pretends to be hurt. "I thought we were never gonna talk about that again," he pouts.
"A turtle bited your bum," Harry laughs.
Zayn blushes. "It's not funny!"
"Uh-huh! Daddy had to pull him off!"
"H, what if he bit my bum off? Wouldn't be so funny then, would it?"
The cheeky little bites back a laugh. He switches crayons and continues coloring in squiggly petals. The boy sighs and keeps his eyes on the paper. "I wish we coulda kept him," he mumbles.
"Why? So he could bite me all day," Zayn snorts.
"Woger could ride him like a pony!"
"I swear that bear is so spoiled," the man shakes his head and fondly watches his youngest draw.
"C'n I have a turtle," Harry asks.
"Baby, I'm never letting a turtle near me again."
Harry puppy pouts. "Pwease!"
"No. And I mean it, Harry. No amount of your cute looks will ever convince me to let a butt biter in this house."
"No fun," the boy frowns. He switches to a green crayon and makes many hash marks on the bottom of the sheet of paper to represent grass. Much of the crayon wax ends up on the tabletop, but Zayn knows just the trick to clean it up. "Bet Daddy would get me a turtle," Harry mumbles loud enough for Zayn to hear.
"That's because you have magical powers that you use to trick him," Zayn teases.
"'Cause I'm a fairy," Harry smiles.
"The cutest little fairy there is," Zayn tells him.
Harry blushes and continues where he left off on the drawing. He wants it to be absolutely perfect. Unfortunately, the only way in the boy's mind to achieve perfection is with glitter and he's not allowed to use the glitter glue after the incident he had a few months ago that involved having to replace the carpet in the playroom.
"That's looking beautiful, Babe," he complements.
"Think Grammy will like it?"
"Oh, I know she will! Remember last time we went to see her and Grampy? All of your pictures were on her fridge," Zayn says.
Harry uses the pink crayon and draws a big heart in the corner of the paper. He scribbles in the middle till iit is opaque. He likes how his drawing looks. It would be complete once he adds just one more thing.
"Ummm...Papa?"
"Yes, Sweetheart," Zayn asks.
"Will you...help me write my name?"
"Of course," Zayn tells him.
Afterall, writing was what the man studied in uni. He had tried teaching Harry how to read and write in the beginning. He did learn how to read small, simple words. With difficulty, Harry can read very short children's stories. He has difficulty with longer words and anything that just doesn't make sense in the English language, like the 'k' being silent in knight or even the fact that the 'gh' in knight is silent. They learned early on the writing on his own is a great challenge. Most days his hands are too shaky to properly grip a writing utensil. His words are scribbly and barely legible. Harry was heartbroken that he couldn't read and write like everyone else at the daycare. But there is usually somebody around that can help him.
Zayn stands from his chair and walks around the table to stand behind Harry. He squats so he is low to the ground and rests his chin on the boy's shoulder. He grabs the boy's wrist and helps steady his hand in writing position.
"First, do you remember how to spell your name?"
Harry nods. "H-A...R...R-Y," he says a bit unsure of himself.
Zayn turns his face to kiss Harry's cheek. "Very good! So first we need to make the H. Do you remember how to do that? Just three lines."
He moves the boy's hand around and together they make two lines and cross it with a squiggly line. Far from perfect, but he knows Liam's mother will adore it all the same because it's from the boy she is so fond of.
"Now, the 'A' is also three lines. It's just like making the 'H', but instead the two lines on the side lean into each other like a triangle," he explains.
Harry's hand is maneuvered around again to make another letter on his drawing. It's even less neat than the previous letter, but he's proud of it.
Just then, they hear Louis scream, "No!" Then there is a bit of banging and Liam pleading with the boy.
"Z," Liam calls out from down the hallway.
"Yeah," the man responds.
"Can you come here, real quick? Louis won't get in the tub until he sees you!"
"Okay," he says loudly back.
Zayn rises until he is standing tall. Harry looks up at him with big, sad eyes. "But what 'bout my name?"
"Don't worry, Sweetheart. I'll be right back," Zayn says and gives him a kiss before leaving the room.
Harry frowns and looks down at the paper. The only thing he has written is 'HA'. Ha. Is the paper mocking him? Harry's heart drops as he keeps reading over the two letters. Slowly, the voice inside his head that he uses for reading goes from talking to laughing. "HA! HA! HA!"
He slides the paper away from him and decides to wait patiently for Zayn to come back. He said he would be back quickly. He can wait.
Or so he thought.
It's now been five minutes, and his Papa still hasn't come back to the playroom to help him finish what he's started. His face drops as quickly as his heart does into his stomach.
The boy stands and walks across the plush carpeted playroom. He stands in the doorway and peaks out into the hall. The bathroom door is closed but he can still hear them talking.
"Look at you," Liam says loudly. "Might as well call you Bubble Boy!"
Then he hears Zayn and Louis laughing.
"No. I'm Aquaman," Louis declares matter-of-factly.
Then there is loud splashing followed by even more laughing by all three.
Harry's eyes fill with tears and his heart with a mixture of rage and sadness.
"They forgot 'bout me," he says to himself.
He lets his emotions get the better of him and turns around and runs over to the art table and grabs his drawing and a crayon.
"Stop laughing at me," he growls at the voice in his head.
Piece by piece, Harry begins shredding the paper. He walks back to the door and sprinkles them in the hallway outside of the playroom. He is careful to leave the "HA" in tact. He walks over quietly to the bathroom and lays it on the floor in front of the door. The three inside are still having a good time without him.
Harry then walks back down to the playroom and lifts the crayon to wooden door that's been painted white.
"Ha," Harry says and writes those two letters in big print on the door.
"Ha!"
He covers the door and wall surround the entrance to the room in the god-awful word. It seems to help get his frustrations out. If they can be happy without them, then he can find a way to make himself happy. Deep down, he knows he doesn't hate Daddy. Or Papa. Or Louis. But he's spent the last three years alone with the daddies and they have given him even ounce of attention and love they had and when they told him about Louis they assured him he would still be receiving all of that affection. But for the past three days they have been focusing more on Louis. Harry's been in time out three times and whereas Louis just gets a talking to if he does something bad.
With one final "HA", he throws the crayon the ground. He gives a final glance in the direction of the bathroom. He hears more giggles and splashing and the tears start flowing down his cheeks. He rushes into the playroom and slams the door loud and harsh behind him.
Harry emits a loud whine and sobs violently. He stands against the door and slides till he is sitting on the ground blocking it. He hears footsteps running in the hall and covers his ears. He doesn't want to get in trouble.
Guilt washes over Harry as he feels knocks on the door vibrating through his back. He shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have ripped up his picture for Grammy. Shouldn't have wrote all over the door. Shouldn't have thought angry things about Daddy and Papa. Shouldn't have been so jealous of his big brother. 'Louis' never had any love until now,' his conscience scolds him.
"Harry! Let me in," Zayn pleads.
He cries even louder and brings his knees to his chest and tucks them under chin.
"Please, Baby!"
"You forgot about me," he screams.
"I'm so sorry, Baby! I got distracted," Zayn says.
"Harry, please let us in," Liam says this time.
"You don't love me," Harry cries.
"Baby, that's no true. We love you so much," Zayn tells him. But Harry's mind doesn't know what to believe.
"You love Louis more!"
"No we don't," Liam says. "We love you both equally. Please, Bugaboo. Let Daddy and I in," the daddy begs.
Harry ignores them and hugs himself tighter. He wants to believe what they are saying more than anything. They've never lied to him before. It's just hard. The idea of having a new brother has been something that's been poking Harry deep in his mind since the subject was first brought up. He didn't have a nice brother and he was scared to go through that experience again. But Louis...
But Louis is crying loudly in the hallway now also begging for Harry to open the door.
Louis never treated him meanly. Sure, he had screamed and said mean things in the beginning. But none of that was ever directed at Harry. If anything, Louis is the exact opposite of Brent. Louis never hit him or forced him to do things. He never called Harry mean things and told him he was not worth living. Louis protected him and defended him when the other kids didn't.
"Please, Hazza," Louis cries. It was quiet, but Harry still heard the crack in his voice.
Harry crawls away from the door but he doesn't let the three know he's no longer blocking the door. He slowly goes over to the couch and climbs up. He tucks himself into a tight ball in the corner.
Liam is the first to recognize that his crying sounds more distant. He gently and slowly opens the door, just in case he was wrong and the boy was still there. He doesn't want to hit him. He creeps into the room followed by Zayn and Louis who is still wet and only wearing a towel.
"Bugaboo," Liam says softly.
Harry whines and keeps his head down. "Daaaaddy."
Zayn and Liam get closer and Louis stays behind Zayn with a hand clutching the back of his tshirt.
"Come here, Baby," Liam says. He slides his hands underneath the boy's armpits and hikes him up. Harry's feet wrap around Liam's waist and his hands cling behind his neck. Liam supports his weight with hands underneath his bottom. Harry sobs into Liam's neck.
"Shhhhh, you're okay," Liam coos.
Zayn walks over to the two and moves a hand to Harry's back and rubs circles. "Harry," Zayn whispers.
The boy lets out a whine and shoves his face as far as he can into the warm skin.
"Baby, I'm so sorry for forgetting. Please don't think it means I don't love you, because that couldn't be further from the truth. Harry, I love you with every cell in my body. From the very first time you looked at me and I looked at you, I knew I loved you. Please, Baby. We didn't mean to forget you," Zayn says.
"Mean it," Harry mumbles.
"I promise," he says, running a hand through his unruly curls.
"I love you," Zayn tells the boy.
"Love you, Papa," Harry says.
He unhooks his arms from behind Liam and brings them to the side, making grabbing motions towards the older husband. Zayn happily takes the boy.
"Hazza," he hears Louis whisper.
Harry flips his head in the direction of Louis. His face is still filled with sadness and his shoulders are slumped.
"Loulou?"
Louis tightens the towel, which isn't doing much to hide anything and is definitely not keeping the cold air out. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hog Papa and Daddy."
"Louis, no- I know you didn't. ..uh...I mean," the youngest struggles to find the right words.
He whispers into Zayn's ear and the man nods and sets him on the ground. Harry stumbles forward and engulfs Louis' tiny body in a hug, not even caring that Louis isn't covered up.
"I'm sorry for being jealous. It's just hard sometimes. I need to learn to share them," Harry confesses.
The two non-biological brothers stand in place and hold each other tight. Though neither knows it, they are both the best things to have ever happened to one another. In their little headspace or not, they were still important parts of each other's lives and there is a lot of love wrapped in between them.
Notes: