When a person dies, they have 7 minutes of brain activity left. It's the mind playing back the persons memories in a dream sequence.
7 minutes. Sapat ba yun?
Sapat ba ang 7 minutes para maalala nya lahat?
Lahat-lahat ng masasayang ala-ala naming dalawa?
Mga tawanan.
Mga asaran.
Masasayang pinagsamahan.
Pati nadin ung mga panahon na sobra ko syang napaiyak at nasaktan.
It's so unfair.
Why does we ended up like this?
It's so unfair.
Nagagalit ako sa sa sarili ko.
Hinusgahan ko sya agad.
Lagi ko syang kasama.
Kausap.
Pero bakit.
Bakit di ko kaagad napansin? Bakit di ko napansin?
“Babe, would you like to go in the park today?” tanung ko sa kanya.. Napatingin ako sa kanya. Matamlay sya, pero ngumite parin..
“sur----acccckk—excuse me..” sabi nya sabay takbo sa may damuhan at sumuka.
Pinuntahan ko sya.
“babe, are you alright?”
“ahh.. yeah.. sorry.. may nakain lang siguro ako” she said then smiled.
Im a bit worried pero pinagwalang bahala ko lang yun..
Pinagwalang bahala ko lang..
Akala ko wala lang yun.. AKALA KO LANG PALA.
My life has been amazing since the day I knew her.
She changed everything in me.. everything.
She’s a kind of girl who doesn’t even have a clue how beautiful she was.
She’s a kind of girl who says “Im okay” even if she’s crying .
She’s a kind of girl who doesn’t die for a “Zero Figure”
She’s original.
She’s unique.
She’s amazing.
She’s the reason why I smile before.
But now, she’s the reason why I am crying..
Ilang araw na, di sya pumapasok. I tried calling her pero laging nakapatay yung cellphone nya, pag pumupunta ako sa bahay nila palagi syang wala. Kahit na hintayin ko sya buong araw. Di sya dumadarating.
Anu bang problema?
I'ts been F*cking 4 days.
Mababaliw na ako kakaisip.
Hawak-Hawak ko lang yung cellphone ko ng maramdaman kong magvibrate ito. Halos mapatalon ako nung Makita kong pangalan nya ung nagappear sa screen.
Agad kong sinagot yun..
Walang nagsasalita saming dalawa.
Pareho kaming nakikiramdam.
Nakikiramdam kong sino ang unang magsasalita.
“ I miss you..” she finally said.
Tears flow continuesly in my eyes.
Di agad ako nakapagsalita.
I took a lot of courage to speak.
“babe… w-what happen to us?” I said.
How I miss her so much. And I can't understand her anymore.
“i-im so s-sorry.. l-lets break up..” she said.
Nanlaki ung mata ko sa narinig ko. Nakagat ko ung daliri ko dahil ayokong marinig nya ung bawat paghikbi ko, lalaki ako pero umiiyak ako ng ganito. pero kasi sobrang mahal ko talaga sya.
“bakit?”
“because I love you..” she said then she hung up..
Pagkatapos ng gabing un, kinabukasan pumasok na sya.. sinundan ko sya at pinilit na makipagusap sakin pero she push me away.
Maputla sya.
Namayat.
She even cut her hair in shoulder length.
God what’s happening to her?
Kinagabihan nun, nagabang ako sa labas ng bahay nila..
“PLEASE TALK TO ME.. I LOVE YOU..” I shout..
Inabutan ako ng ulan at madaling araw, pero hindi manlang nya ako sinilip.
Umuwi akong umiiyak.
Napaisip ako.
Anung ginawa ko?
Bakit?
Lumipas pa ung maraming araw.
Nagkakasalubong kami sa school pero parang wala lang.
Now, were back to the way we started.
As STRANGERS.
I’m jealous of people who get in touch with her everyday..
That time, the hardest decision I ever make is whether to walk away or to try harder.
But I can feel it..
TALO NA AKO.
Parang nakuntento na ako sa pagsulyap sa kanya araw-araw.
May nagiba sa kanya pero di ko alam kong anu..
Nung mga panahong yun.. bakit?
Bakit ko di nahalata kaagad?
Nakita ko syang may kausap na lalaki, tumatawa sya.
Nagalit ako. Hinablot ko ung braso nya.
Im hurt. Di na tama ‘toh.
“let go im hurt!” she said.
“what happen to us? What happen to you Sheryl?” I said. Nakita kong umiwas sya ng tingin..
Napatingin ako sa labi nya, namumutla sya..
“you do----acccckkkk” she said tapos tumakbo sa likod ng puno at sumuka.
“wha—“
“leave me alone!” she said.
“are you pregnant?” nakita kong nagulat sya.. Maski ako naguluhan, imposible.. I never do that to her..
“i-I don’t un---“ pinutol nya ung sinasabi ko at binitawan ang mga katagang pinaka nasaktan ako..
“OH C’MON ISN'T OBVIOUS? THIS IS NOT YOURS!” she shouted.
“w-hat do you mean?”
“NAKITA MO UNG KASAMA KO KANINA? HES THE FATHER.. MATAGAL NA KAMING MAY RELASYON.. LAGING MAY NANGYAYARI SAMIN, OH C’MON, WE DO IT ALMOST EVERYDAY. KAHIT NUNG TAYO PA! HE’S GOOD. PAGKATAPOS NUN HINANAP-HANAP KO NA GUST------------“
Napatigil sya sa ginawa ko tapos napahawak sa pisnge nya..
I slapped her.
How dare her!
“YOURE A SLUT!!” I shouted.
She just smile. Ni wala manlang akong makitang kahit isang luha na dumaloy sa mga mata nya.
“yes I am? Happy?” she said. Then she left me..
Pagkatapos ng araw na yun.
Itinatak ko na sa isip ko na niloko nya ako..
Na niloko ako ng babaeng mahal na mahal ko.
That what changes me..
The pain makes me change. Kinamuhian ko sya.
Araw-araw. Iba-ibang babae ang kasama ko.
I even try to smoke. And it feels good.
I do clubbing.
Napariwara ung buhay ko.
I become a repeater.
Wala akong pakialam, and it's all about her.
Kasalanan nya lahat.
How could she do this to me? D@mn!
Minahal ko sya.
Pagkatapos ng ilang buwan, graduation na ng college. Di ako napasama sa batch namin sa pag graduate.
I failed in alamost all of my subject.
Nabalitaan kong di din sya napasama sa graduation. Di na daw sya pumapasok.. mag 3-3 months na.
I hate her!
Magsama sila ng gagong lalaking pinalit nya sakin.
Humarap ako sa salamin,
Ive been changed. d@mn! Bakit to nangyari sakin?
Matagal ko na syang di nakikita. I decided to start a new life.
And then, after one year. Grumaduate na din ako sa wakas, I wonder kung kumusta na sya ngaun..
Masaya kaya sya?
Masaya ba sya?
Bakit di ko maitanung sa kanya yun noon.
Bakit di ko manlang naitanung kung kumusta sya?
Kung masya ba sya..
One time nagkaroon kami ng reunion. I wonder kung pupunta sya. Pero natapos ung gabi ng wala sya. Lumabas na ako para magpaalam, tapos may nakita akong pamilyar na mukha.
Di pwedeng magkamali ung puso ko..
Sya yun.
Napatingin din sya sakin mukhang nagulat.
“sheryl..” I said.
Ngumite sya.. how I miss her smile.. namayat sya lalo. Tapos nakabonet sya.. napansin nya ata kaya naconcious sya..
“hmmm.. hahaha. Anu ehh.. my new hairstyle, you like it?” she said.
I just nodded.
“kumusta kana? Ung anak mo?” tanung nya..
Napatingin sya sakin na parang nagaalangan ang mga mata.
“o-okey naman, cge I have to go bye” sabi nya tapos lumakad na.
“wait,” I said pero tuloy-tuloy lang sya sa paglalakad, sinubukan ko syang habulin pero lumiko sya ng daan.
I just stopped.
And I was a fooled.
I wonder what will happen if I didn’t stop.
Kasama ko pa kaya sya ngaun?
Lumipas pa ang ilang buwan dahil isa akong nurse, I decided to apply malapit sa ospital sa bahay namin, and luckily natanggap naman ako..
Cguro dahil bago narin ako.
Di ko alam ang pasikot-sikot sa ospital.
One time I lost.
Mali ung floor na napuntahan ko..
I don’t know that,
That time..
Being lost will help me find her.
My tears flow continuesly.
As I saw her lying in one private room in the hospital.
She has no hair.
She's pale.
Nagbabasa sya ng libro ng mapatingin sya sakin..
Nalaglag ung librong hawak nya..
Panu nya nagawang ilihim sakin?
Panu…
Panung di ko nahalata?
I just hug her so tight.
OH God. This is unfair. Bakit ako lang ang di nakaalam.
Naisip ko nung mga panahon na yun, kilala ko naba talaga sya?
I resign to my work , tapos tinutukan ko ang pagaalaga sa kanya.
She still the same.
She’s still the kind of girl who doesn’t even have a clue how beautiful she was.
She’s still the kind of girl who says “Im okay” even if she’s crying .
She’s still the kind of girl who doesn’t die for a “Zero Figure”
She’s still original.
She’s still unique.
She’s still amazing.
She’s still my everything.
Walang iba, sya lang…
Kung maibabalik ko lang ang panahon, sana di ko agad sya sinuko.
Sa nagtanung ako.
Sana..
Sana…
Saming dalawa, hindi sya ang bumitaw..
Kundi ako.. ako ang bumitaw.
Sa araw-araw na magkasama kami..
Nakikita ko ang panuti-unting paghina ng katawan nya…
Hindi na sya makatayo.
But she still manage to smile like always.
“HAHAHAHA. Anu yan? kalbo ka din?” tanung nya sakin habang tumatawa. I know that’s fake..
“mainit ang panahon ehh” I just said. Ang trying to control my tears from flowing
“thank you..” she said..
“babe.. m-marry me..” I said. Nakita kong tumulo ung luha sa mga mata nya.. pinunasan ko un.
“I can't marry you..” pabulong nyang sabi..
Maski sa pagsasalita, nahihirapan sya..
“w-why?”
“im scared.. I might die anytime.. if I marry you, im scared that I might die in our wedding day..” she said..
Tumayo ako tapos tumalikod..
Pinunasan ko ung luhang tuloy-tuloy na pumapatak sa mga mata ko.
She still don’t want to hurt me..
Lumipas ang mga buwan, lalong lumalala ang condition nya.. she can't even handle her book she been loving to read eversince..
Nasa tabi lang ako ng kama nya.. nakaunan sya sa braso ko..
“You know what I figured out today?”
“What Is it baby?”
“God is so good. Like, he sent you to me because im sick and he knows that I need you..” she said, pinunasan ko ung luhang tumutulo sa mukha ko..
“I still wanted to marry you..” I said. Ngumite sya tapos niyakap ako…
“I really wanted to marry you too. But, im sick. I can't even hug you tight. I lost all my energy” di ko na napigilan, napaiyak na ako ng todo.
God. Is this the time?
No way.
“are you afraid?” I asked.
“ I not afraid of dying, God is waiting for me at his door but… im afraid, that I might hurt you..”
“don’t you dare to die now, or else I will follow you there and kill you again,.” I said.
I heard her chuckled.
“please continue living…” she said..
Lalo akong naiyak..
“will you please read the last chapter of this book to me?” she asked.
“matatapos kana..”
“yeahh.. I really wanted to finish that pero I cant read..” she said kinuha ko ung libro tapos binuklat ko sa last chapter..
Inspirational Books For Dying Person
Lalo akong naiyak.
“Every thing happens for a reason. life puts you down, only so you can get back up for the better things. Live life, forgive and forget. Let go of the past”
I know everything happens for a reason but I wish, I knew what that reason was.
Naramdam kong nababasa ung t-shirt ko. I knew it.. she’s crying also..
“although we may not understand it at the time, if you hang in there, all the pieces will eventually fall where they belong.”
“live your life with no fear of anything. Don’t be scared of anyone Be fearless. Because you will be facing God Almighty. Everything happen for a reason and you have a reason to live fearless.”
Naramdaman kong napabuntong-hininga sya..
Nahihirapan na naman sya.
It hurts me. It hurts..
Narating ko na ung last sentence huminto ako sa pagbabasa, kasi alam ko kapag tinapos ko toh. Matutulog na sya..
“please continue.. I wanna hear the last part before I sleep.”
Napapaiyak ako lalo,
Tumungo lang ako..
Naramdaman kong mas niyakap nya ako..
“I love you okay?” I said.
“I love you too..”
“are you sleepy?”
“yeah. Can I sleep after you read?”
“y-you can sleep if you really sleepy..”
“thank you..”
“I love you forever..”
“I love you more, to eternity... f-forever.. and e-ever..”
naramdaman ko ung sunod-sunod na paghinga nya ng malalim, nahihirapan na syang huminga, i know.. malapit na.. malapit na..
Nanginginig ung kamay ko nung kinuha ko ung libro tapos binasa ko ung last part habang umiiyak..
“If you die you're completely happy and your soul somewhere lives on. Don’t be afraid of dying. Theres a Total peace after death,
if you leave someone you love and cherish the most.. tell them that
do not allow the pain of your loss to stop them from living.”
I said then I closed the book.
Naramdaman kong lumuwang yung yakap nya sakin..
I just hug her tight then cry aloud..
*
Shes died but I still marry her.
Somebody think that Im fooled.
But I love her very much.
I almost wanted to be with her now.
But I promise that I will continue living..
They say When a person dies, they have 7 minutes of brain activity left. It's the mind playing back the persons memories in a dream sequence.
7 minutes. Sapat bay un?
Sana sapat yun..
I know shes always been watching after me now..
Shes always been there.
I look up in the sky..
I imagine her face smiling at me.
I just smile too with tears flowing through my eyes.
Im lucky to be able to feel this unconditional love of hers.
Ipromise, IN ANOTHER LIFETIME..
i will make you stay..
I LOVE YOU TILL ETERNITY..
Sheryl, wait for me..
Ill be there soon..
-END