Ask me.
Later that night Ethan came to my house again,bringing his laptop in with him.
He entered the house and sat down in my sofa.
"So,Anong gagawin mo na naman dito?" I asked and he tapped his side and i sat down.
"We're 'gonna watch." I nodded and made myself comfortable.
Oh! Wait.
I stood up and went to the kitchen to grab some snack and a bottle of coke and threw the chips to Ethan.
"Okay,i'm prepared." We leaned at the opposite side of the sofa.
"Tungkol saan ba 'to?" Tumaas ang kilay ko at nagkibit balikat lang siya.
As we watched the movie it all became clear.So the guy,i don't remember his name,was forced by his mom to go and accompany this girl,Rachel who has lukemia.It's not a love story,almost.
I was bummed when Rachel died because the guy kept on saying that don't worry this girl you're digging on won't die.But you know what? in the end,while he was showing Rachel the film he made,Rachel immediately fell on a coma and 10 hours after,she died.
"I love it.I mean,it's not completely a love story but...You know that feeling when you're like hoping but you're satisfied."
I sniffed my runny nose again.Dammit! I hate having runny nose it makes me really really sick and watery eyes! It's like i'm always crying!
"I'm sad for Rachel.I just can't explain what i'm feeling.It's good to see a good movie that's not about...Shitty things or disgusting clingy kind of stuff."
Nakatulala lang siya at patuloy lang siyang nakatulala sa walang hanggang pader.
This is why i hate silence...Well,in some kind of point and this is obviously that point.You know.It makes you think.
Tinignan ko siya.Tinignan ko lang ang mukha niya na handa lang na makinig at pakiramdaman ang pag singhot ko ng sipon.
I don't really know if i want to ask this now pero...
"Why did you leave?" It wasn't meant to be a bitter,sad or whatever but it was just meant to be a simple answer and i needed the answer.
In a not so bad longing.
"Uhmm..." humugot siya ng malalim na hininga at unti unting bumaling sa akin pero hindi sa mata ko. "At that time.My sister was dying..."
I didn't know he had a sister?
"When i arrived there she was holding my hands..." he held tight both his hands "And she said that,i shouldn't worry about her anymore,that i should be happy..." he looked up and forced a little laugh. "She knew that i can't do that.She just smiled at me.Staring at my face and you know what?" I looked at him intently "I said,i will...That was the best i could do for someone who was dying in front of me...At least mapasaya ko man kang siya,mapayapa ko man lang yung isip niya na yung kuya niya magiging masaya after he sees his sister die in front of her."
God! I was so selfish!
"After that i took care of what my dad couldn't take care of anymore...I'm sorry." We both laughed lightly
"Aren't we supposed to be done with those sorry stuffs?" I sniffed again.
"Ikaw,Tell me what happened."
"Whoa,this is also long." I took a deep breath.
"First,i found out that i had a sister and her name is Kristal.Dad had an affair and had her.She looks exactly like me but way more good! Like she's supper good." I know that i had this shine in my eyes.
"You were good too back then." I was.
"I went to college in Paris and worked in new york then went back home and Dad died." I tried to smile.
"I didn't know that you had a sister and that your dad died.I'm sorry."
"Okay lang.Hindi ko rin alam na may kapatid ka na babae and that she died."
"Bwisit na movie yan." We both laughed and i stood up to drink some water.
Bumalik na ako sa sofa at nakita ko siyang iniinom na ang coke ng diretso sa lalagyan nito.It's not like we haven't kissed,what's the big deal?
I lied down.Pinatong ko naman ang ulo ko sa hita niya habang tumitingin pa ng ibang movies.
Nanood naman kami ngayon ng isang love story talaga.
It's already 1:30 in the morning at kalahati na kami sa movie.Bumabagsak na ang mata ko pero gusto ko pang manood.
If ever.Only 'If' ever.
"Can you like..." nakatingin parin ako sa screen. "Ask me right now one thing that you would never get tired of asking."
"Okay...I love you." That's not a question! "It's not a question but the answer is whatever you respond.You can answer it,if you're ready and don't if you just don't want to."
I nodded and looked above.I smiled at him.
I may still love you right now but not the way that i loved you back then,I have so many fears,so many scars and i know i'm still healing.
I must've slept in his lap because i woke up there obviously.
"Gising na." I slapped his face a little.
"Goodmorning,babe." What?!
"Oh don't get to breezy on me Ethan.Nagsisimula ka palang wag kang loko hampasin kita."
Tumayo na siya at nag stretch.
Kala mo naman,jusko!
I sniffed.
I really don't have any intention of having a relationship that is more than friends.
Sa mga nagdaang panahon natakot na akong magtiwala at magkamali pa ako.
Alam kong hindi maiiwasan iyon.Hanggang kaya ko ay lagi kong pipiliin ang mas ligtas.Kung saan ako safe,kung saan hindi ako masasaktan.The safe choice won't hurt me,at least not so much.
For now that's all i could do.
"Uhm...Ayusin mo nalang ang sifa tapos magluluto ako ng breakfast natin." Sabi ko sabay alis papuntang kusina.
Nag timpla muna ako ng kape at sumimsim ng konti tapos ay hinanda ko na ang pan para mag luto ng omelette.
Hmm...I think i have to go yo the grocery again,paubos na ang mga pagkain sa ref at baka mapag isipan ko na ring sa wakas magsimulang matuto magluto.
Inilagay ko sa isang white plate ang omelette at naghanda na ng dalawang plato pati ang mga kutsara tinidor.
"Ethan come here okay na." Tawag ko habang nilalatag ang mga plato.
"Huy dali na para makalayas ka na at wala na akong aabalahin pa!" Tumawa ako at napag isipan ng puntahan nalang siya doon kesa sa mag sisigaw ako rito.
"Psst...Tara na,naghanda na ako ng plato dun--------Ohh Cale..." kumaway ako at tinignan niya lang ako.
This is not good.
"Who is he?" Ethan asked then i turned my eyes to Cale.
"Care to explain?" I beamed and smiled at them.
"Uhmm how about breakfast first before everything else?...I'm pretty hungry."
Hinila ko silang dalawa papunta sa dining table at umupo kaming lahat doon.
Come on! I'm hungry,can't they just eat and then i'll explain?
And how exactly am i going to explain to explain?
Tahimik lang kaming kumakain doon pero nagtitinginan ang dalawa.
I think they could keep it in hanggang sa matapos akong kumain.
Tinignan ko si Cale at nag isip kung anong magiging reaksyon niya or kung ano ang gagawin ko sakanya dahil first of all...
Galit siya kay Ethan tapos nandito pa sa bahay? Umagang umaga!
I then looked at Ethan.He doesn't know Cale,i know he still has that feeling for me and i'm not going to make that grow even more.
Tapos na silang kumain pero sadya kong binagalan ang pagkain.Nag-iisip pa ako!
Marahan akong ngumunguya habang pabalik balik silang tinitignan.
"Krista,ano ba? I'm not playing games i know your done eating,why is he here." I swallowed hard.
Bubugsan ko na sana ang bibig ko para magsalita pero naunahan ako ni Ethan.
"Could you just let her eat! Who are you anyway?" Liningon ni Cale si Ethan at tinignan ito ng masama.
They both look irritated and i know where this is going...
"This guy is such a big ass,Krista!" Ako naman ngayon ang pinagbalingan niya.
"Bakit ba hindi ako ang kausapin mo ha?" Nagulat ako sa biglang pagbagsak ng kanyang kamay sa lamesa.
Arrghhh!!!
"Okay...Calm down before i kick both of you out!"
"So Ethan this is Cale,my ex boyfriend and Cale you know him." I raised my eyebrow.
"I know that,what I'm asking is bakit siya nandito?"
"Is there something bad about that? at bakit mo ako kilala?" He smirked but the sound of his voice is already irritated.
Kinabahan ako sa tono ng kanyang boses na parang hanada ng mang hamon ng gulo pag may maling titik na masabi si Cale.