It was the morning.
I could see the dark bags that lay underneath my eyes, reminding me of the restless sleep I had endured.
This was all my fault.
I had tried to tell Liam the truth when we returned to his house, but he simply told me that he had to make arrangements for the fight, and left me alone.
I had tried again, knocking on his office door a few hours later, but he told me to go to sleep, claiming that I would need it.
I truly couldn't believe it, I couldn't believe how incredibly selfish I had been. Why had I told him that?
The worst part of this was that I knew I would be sentenced to watch the fight. To see innocent wolves die because of what I had done.
This wasn't right.
I had been tossing and turning all night. I didn't want to sleep, I didn't want to watch the nightmares that were bound to happen.
Liam was in his office, going over last minute plans for the attack.
It was all happening so soon. Why couldn't I have more time?
It was 6am, and he had told the pack we'd be leaving at 7. No doubt he would arrive at the meeting place early.
It seems I was right, I knew he wouldn't stay in the house for long. The wolves fighting would stop to hunt on the way there.
It wasn't long before I heard him leaving his office. I hurried to intercept him, and found him in the living room, his eyes gently glazed over as though he were talking to someone through the mind link.
I was glad to catch him before he left. I had to try, one last time, to tell him the truth. At the very least I needed to see him before he went off to fight... what if he didn't return?
Fear shook through me but I tried my best to ignore it. He was a capable fighter, if he wasn't he wouldn't be an alpha.
"Liam?" I caught his attention, his eyes went back to normal and he turned to face me, his features softening, presumably at the terrified expression on my face.
"Yes, Charlotte?" He asked, a polite tone to his voice.
"I-" am a liar. That's what I wanted to say, but for some reason I couldn't force out the words. You shouldn't go to fight because I made it up. Because I'm an awful person.
"You don't need to worry, Charlotte." He broke the silence. The way he said my name sent soft tingles down my spine. "We have good fighters. We will be okay."
This is stupid, there's no reason to fight.
"You'll stay here with the pups, and when we come back that disgusting alpha will have been dealt with." He spoke confidently.
I knew that my previous alpha had not been the best, but for the most part, he had done nothing wrong. What he had done was punish me for something I couldn't help. But that didn't mean I didn't deserve it.
I had half-hoped the beatings would stop me seeing the visions, but they hadn't.
"Charlotte?" He asked, concerned, when I had yet to speak.
"Please don't go! Don't fight, it isn't worth it, really!" I pleaded, finally able to find my voice.
His eyes darkened at my words, "He beat you because you refused to mate with him." He snarled, "That is unforgivable, and you will not convince me otherwise."
"No! It is forgiveable! He's not so bad!" I tried again, desperation in my voice.
"Not so bad." He repeated, his tone emotionless. "What is that supposed to mean? You don't want me to kill him so that you have a back-up mate?"
I could tell that he was trying to speak calmly, but his wolves anger was seeping through.
"What? No!" I replied, shocked. Is that really what he thought of me? A small part of me was irritated, he had the audacity to come up with this idea when he had never truly shown that he even wanted me as a mate? I quickly pushed the thought away, it wasn't going to help me now.
"Then why else do you not want me to kill him?" He asked, his eyes fixated on me.
I stared at him dumbfounded, "Because I-" I trailed off, my chest felt tight and my throat was constricting, I couldn't find it in me to speak the words. To tell him what I was.
"That's what I thought." He muttered, darkly, before turning away and marching towards the door, swinging it open with a bang and storming off.
I stared at the open door for a moment before reacting, quickly, I took off after him. "Liam!" I called, trying to catch up to him, though he was speeding off much faster that I could.
"Liam wait!" I repeated, "I swear that's not true!"
Finally he stopped in his path and turned to face me, his stony expression matched the cold look in his eyes.
I resisted the urge to shrink back at his outward display of annoyance. "No?" He asked, his tone almost mocking.
"No." I repeated, shaking my head. "It's just... what if you don't come back?"
I had finally voiced my biggest concern, the fact that he might die... over nothing.
"Why would that matter?" He asked in a stubborn voice. My eyes widened, what? When had I ever done anything to suggest I didn't care for him?
I had never exactly been one for sharing my feelings.
"You have an entire pack that relies on you... they'd fall apart without you." I offered, weakly.
His face set in a hard frown at my answer, "Just for the pack then." He tried to confirm in a strong voice, but there was a hint of something else, sadness?
I got the distinct feeling that I had never quite appreciated why it might be that Liam pushed me away so much. Was he used to the people he cared for pushing him away?
I tried my best to put on a brave face and ignore my insecurities, "No... for me as well. I don't want you to die. You're my mate." I said the last part in a quiet voice, no longer so confident.
I looked down awkwardly, not wanting to see his reaction.
"Charlotte." He said, his voice much closer than I had anticipated. I felt his finger under my chin, lifting up my face so I'd look at him.
The way he stood so close to me, his hand still in contact with my chin, deluded me into thinking he was going to kiss me.
He didn't of course, he never did.
He dropped his hand, and with it my head fell forwards slightly again. "Luna's should have more faith in their packs." He said.
"I'm not a luna." I sighed. I was beginning to think I never would be.
He didn't reply, instead he was making his way back to the place they had the meeting yesterday afternoon.
I followed behind him like a lost dog, though I suppose that's exactly what was happening, considering how much of a bitch I was being by lying about all of this.
Liam didn't need to speak to the pack, they all knew their places in this, despite how incredibly (and infuriatingly) short-notice it was.
10 of the pack fighters were staying behind to protect myself, the pups, some of the older pack members, and a couple of injured wolves.
Everyone leaving to fight was waiting for Liam's signal to leave. They were all travelling in cars that they would temporarily leave somewhere between here and Stormhounds pack. They'd arrive in wolf form.
It was only a couple of minutes til 7 now, and Liam looked as though he were ready to go, all of the supplies were packed into the trucks and there was nothing left to do other than get people into the cars and leave.
I could feel my entire body trembling.
This isn't right. It's not right!
The guilt was eating away at me, these people were all set to fight because of me!
I was finding it difficult to breath, my hands were sweating and it was like the world around me was blurred, like I was no longer a part of it.
I closed my eyes, trying desperately to escape this world where nothing was right.
"Charlotte?" Liam asked, a lot nearer to me than I thought he had been.
He was looking at me in surprise, perhaps only now registering the true fear I had for the outcome of this.
"Please don't do this." I said, hoping for him to understand.
I felt him gently take my elbow in his hand and lead me away, we were stood under the cover of some trees, where everything felt more serene and like there weren't wolves a short while away from us waiting to die.
"Charlotte I understand your concern, but really, we will be all right." He told me. I decided not to linger on the fact that he said 'we' rather than 'him'. Like he was unwilling to believe I was worried about him personally.
I shook my head in defiance, but refused to close my eyes, like I normally would, eager to drink up his appearance before he left me.
"Stay safe." He told me, before turning away.
I didn't say anything, nor did I move, simply staring after him with a look of longing and hopelessness.
When he neared the tree-line and realised I wasn't next to him, he turned back and gave me a questioning look, which softened when he saw my expression.
He looked down for just a moment, as though contemplating something, before he muttered something under his breath that sounded a lot like "Fuck this,".
Before I even had time to blink he was back in front of me, and his lips were on mine.
I barely had a moment to take in what was happening before I was responding on instinct, feeling the way his lips yielded to mine.
It was over almost as soon as it had begun, but I was left feeling dazed... he had kissed me. He had kissed me!
Suddenly my concerns about the fight had been thrown away, I was operating under a blissfull happiness, not even thinking about how soon it had ended, but rather how wonderful it had been.
He looked at me for a brief moment before he turned away again, back to the pack.
I tenderly felt my lips, still surprised that they had been connected with his, just moments before.
Obediently, I followed behind him, a gentle smile lit up my face when I realised that he was breathing heavily, like me.
Did this mean... that he liked me too?
I stared after him, still in shock, as he climbed into one of his cars, sending me just a fleeting glance as they drove off.
I continued to stare off in the direction the cars had gone in, until they were no more than specks in the distance.
That was when the true guilt set in.
That was it. They had gone.
How could I have let this happen?
Why did I not try to stop them again..?
What was wrong with me?
"Luna?" A voice asked, tentatively putting a hand on my arm.
I jumped back in shock, turning to see a young, teenage girl next to me, looking apologetic.
"Um... sorry, what was that?" I asked, realising she had said something.
"The alpha said you're to stay in the pack house with us, until he returns." She told me.
I stared at her for a moment. "No." I replied bluntly, not really thinking.
"Um, what?" She said, looking taken aback, seemingly thinking I was being rude.
"Sorry I just meant... yeah I'll... no..." I trailed off, confusing myself further.
"I can't do this." I whispered. "I can't do this!"
I whipped around and turned to face the remaining pack. "I'm sorry!" I gushed, and turned back to face the direction where the cars had gone.
Wolves can run faster than cars. They're only driving to save their energy. But I didn't need to save mine. I would stop the fight.
I gave the pack behind me one last fleeting look, "I can't let them do this!"
Turning back, I felt the familiar stretch of my bones as I shifted into my wolf. She wasn't feeling so down any more, no. She was feeling the overwhelming need to be with her mate.
I didn't look back again. Instead I felt my powerful legs propel me forwards in the direction that the cars had gone.
I was going to stop the fight.
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Well it was probably a bad idea to write this rather than revise for my exams...
So, what did you think of the chapter? Vote and comment if you liked it!
Thanks!