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This is going to make me go nuts. I'm laying on Braden's luxury couch, staring up at the ceiling, not knowing what to do with myself. It's barely been two hours since we parted by the front door of his suite and I was barely holding the tears back.
I was terrified of being left alone, but he said that the reason I'm staying here is because there's a better security here and there are cameras and alarm systems everywhere so it's way safer than my flat.
He forbade me to go anywhere by myself, begged me to at least oblige him this one time so he could sleep easier. And so that he could be focused and maybe come home sooner than planned, which is on Sunday evening or early Monday morning.
I was still anxious about staying alone.
But now, two hours of laying on my back, doing nothing, I feel only boredom. And if this is going to last for the whole two and a half days ... I fear my brain is going to burn.
But I don't want to mop in Braden's flat for these two days, only missing him. So I pick up my phone and first call Lily, literally ordering her to get her ass here and give her the directions where to come. And then I call Brooke, giving her no out, only saying that she has to come here or I'm going to do something crazy.
I was joking, of course (well, mostly), but it works, because thirty minutes later the both of them are here.
Lily is looking around her with round, enormous eyes, whistling. ''I thought the outside of the building is going to throw me on the butt, but nothing could prepare me for this,'' she says admiringly, showing with her hand around the suite.
I chuckle at her because I know exactly how she feels. I was the same as her the first time I was here. I'm still thrown aback by the beauty of Braden's suite. It's simple, but in that expensive way that you don't know if, for example, you want to sit on that chair in the dining room or just eat standing because you're almost too afraid to touch anything.
''It really is something,'' I say, mirroring her and looking around the suite.
Lily comes in further and I know exactly the moment when she notices the spectacular view out of the living room windows because her loud gasp echoes in the otherwise silent room, her step faltering. ''Oh, dear God,'' she breathes, clutching her chest with her hand. She goes to stand by the window, staring out of the city in front of her.
''I know, right?'' Brooke decides to speak. ''I want to take a picture, frame it and hang it on the wall just right when you step through the door so everyone could see it.''
I smile at the both of them. ''I wouldn't mind seeing this view for the rest of my life,'' I say wishfully, not thinking twice about my words.
Lily looks at me from behind her shoulder and Brooke gives me a knowing look. ''Well, judging by how things are going, your wish might come true ...'' she trails off.
I look down at my lap and flush violently, my cheeks starting to burn.
Brooke grunts. ''Oh, don't be modest!'' she gushes. ''Did he say it?''
I blush even harder.
''Say what?'' Lily questions.
I haven't really spoken to Lily since the night I was drugged and that was almost two months ago. It hits me how much I missed her, but those last weeks were kind of ... hectic for me and I barely spoke to anyone.
''That he loves her,'' Brooke says as if it would be the most obvious thing.
Lily's eyes widen. ''The last time we spoke you told me you two weren't even dating!'' she accuses. ''What changed?''
I sigh. ''Oh, Lils ...'' I pat the space on the couch beside me. ''Sit down. I have a lot of things to tell you that you missed out.''
And so I do. I tell her everything with Brooke adding things if I forget anything to say and making expressions on her face along with the story.
It's painful to relive it, but Lily deserves to know. I cut her out of my life, completely unintentionally. I don't want to put a distance between us again. There's already been too much of it.
I tell her how much I was preparing to admit to Braden that I love him.
Lily blinks her eyes a few times and the story hasn't even started fully yet.
''Don't start crying,'' I say horrifically.
She shakes her head, laughing. ''You can't just say that to a pregnant woman!''
I snort. ''Don't I know it ...'' I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
Lily gets serious and cocks her head to the side. I fall silent, too. I guess I left a tiny little detail out in my story ...
''You do, don't you?'' Lily asks absently, her eyes falling down to my stomach, her lips starting to curl up in a smile.
''Uh ...'' I flush again, biting my lip. My eyes flicker to Brooke and she's staring at us with raised eyebrows. ''I ... I'm pregnant,'' I tell her.
Lily breaks out into a full grin now. ''I made that much out. Welcome to the club, sister!''
She hugs me.
''How did Braden react to the news?'' Lily asks me all excited, wanting to hear that.
A deep sigh, filled with pain leaves my mouth and Lily's expression falls. ''My pregnancy was the reason we fought. And a cause that he left me. Along with me admitting that I love him.''
''Uh-oh,'' Lily hums, not really happy with this.
I tell her everything, trying not to leave anything out, and when I finish with the hurtful part, I think Lily is planning on booking a plane ticket to Norway, find Braden, and slap him across the face. With a table.
The thought is unsettling because Lily can hit pretty hard, but I remember she can't lift anything heavy because she's pregnant so that calms me down.
And then I tell her how he begged me to take him back, how he apologised and his explanation, to which Brooke grunts a, ''What a bullshit excuse.''
Brooke went to search for something to eat in the middle of the story and brought us all drinks – non-alcoholic, of course, much to the distaste of all, because it seemed we all kind of needed a glass of wine after that story.
''He was having a nightmare last night,'' I tell them both and they're eagerly listening. I didn't tell Brooke this yet so now she's sitting quietly like a good schoolgirl, giving me her whole attention. ''I was in the kitchen, drinking a glass of water, when I heard him shout out my name and when I came to the bedroom he was ... I've never seen him like that before,'' I tell them, remembering what a state he was in.
''He seemed lost, he was shaking in fear and he was filled with negative energy. He said he thought I left him because I wasn't there when he woke up. He also said a lot of sweet things to me, along with ...'' I hold my breath, both women leaning to me eagerly, ''that he loves me,'' I finish.
Brooke stands up, throwing her arms up. ''Hallelujah! Halle-fucking-lujah! Praise the Lord!'' she shouts dramatically and I start chuckling.
Lily has tears in her eyes. ''My God,'' she says, clutching her chest.
Brooke suddenly stops dramatically showing her happiness and looks at us warily, eying us carefully. ''I swear if you two both start crying now, I'm going to have to leave.''
I laugh at her, not taking her words personally. ''Oh, no, please don't stop with jumping around with happiness for our sake,'' I tell her sarcastically.
Brooke shoves her tongue at me. ''You're so damn funny, Rory, really. I can clearly see what Braden sees in you,'' she mocks me dryly, but her eyes shine in amusement.
I cross my arms in front of my chest and glare at her jokingly. ''Look at you, acting so mature. Who would've thought you're 27 years old? I'd give you 6, tops.''
I grin as her mouth falls open. We stare at each other for long seconds and then we both burst out laughing, clutching our chests.
When we get serious, I look at them pointedly. ''I didn't call you two here to talk about myself –''
''Please,'' Brooke huffs. ''Like you don't love talking about yourself.''
I give her a pointed stare. We're both playing around and there are no hard feelings about the things we're saying to each other. I tell them as a joke and I take them as a joke. It's quite simple like that with Brooke.
''But I want to hear from both of you, too.''
I see Brooke clamps her mouth shut.
''And don't think you're getting away with it because you're telling me everything that's going on with you and Aaron.''
***
In the next couple of hours, my throat becomes dry at how much I've talked and laughed and my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.
I had a great time. A really great time in a long time, if I don't count being with Braden here.
We talked a lot – about everything. Lily was telling me how happy she finally was. She decided to seek some help, a psychologist, just to talk about everything. She still had fears but she was willing to overcome them. For her and Jared's sake.
She said that everything has been great with her and Jared, but he was acting a bit strange lately and Lily was afraid that it has something to do with her, she just didn't know what. She hinted that she thought he might be cheating. Or he might be thinking about leaving her.
But I reassured her that he would never. I know Jared quite well and I know how much he loves and adores Lily. I'd have to be blind not to see his love shining out of his eyes every time he looks at her.
I just told her to confront him about it, ask him what it is about. She shouldn't come from presumptions. I told her that I'm speaking from experience that jumping to conclusions never ends well.
And Brooke updated me what's going on with her and Aaron. She said they were fine. They weren't exactly dating dating (whatever that meant), but they got along well and they had a great time together. She just said that maybe Aaron wasn't ready to commit to her and be in a real relationship with her.
I asked her if they have the same kind of relationship me and Braden had at first and she only murmured, ''Something like that.'' I could hear the sorrow in her voice and I know exactly how she feels. I understand her, but I don't know how to help her. I was in the same situation as her once and I couldn't even help myself to get more out of it.
But things were looking better for me and look where I am now – happily pregnant in a relationship with the man I love and he loves me back.
My stomach still squeezes every time I remember that Braden finally said those words back to me.
Late at evening, when they both leave and we hug each other goodbye, I get to the master bedroom, still not used to it how everything in this damn suite looks so expensive and everything's so beautiful.
I decide on taking a shower. I go into Braden's walk in closet and I'm instantly hit by the numerous of suits, neatly hung on the hangers. They're separated by the colours, from the light to the dark. There are also hangers with what must be at least hundred dress shirts, also separated together by the matching colours. Right next to them are ties and bow ties, and – won't you look at that! They're separated by colours.
At the bottom are numerous of those shiny shoes in some different colours, paired neatly in a perfectly straight line.
On the right, there are Braden's casual clothes and I sigh appreciatively that they're not folded together by colours, too. Jesus, that'd be just too much. There are shirts, tank tops (and let me tell you how wild my imagination gets, imagining Braden wearing one of them ... Yum), sweaters, jeans and some sweatpants.
And at the bottom are more shoes, but those are casual – mostly sneakers.
Jesus Christ. Braden has a closet of clothes bigger than my room. Who would've thought?
I'm almost afraid to take something of his.
But then something catches my attention. A box in the back. A familiar box.
I go to it with a racing heart and drop down to my knees, opening it. I take the first item out and an, ''Oh, God,'' escapes me.
It's a box with all the things he gave me and I sent them back. He kept it. He kept it all this time in his freakishly tidy and organised closet.
I thought that he'd throw the stuff away for sure or burn it. Or just something. But he kept everything.
The phone ringing lets me out of a daze and I reluctantly stand up and go search it. When I see Braden's name flashed on the screen, I hit the accept button so hard I almost break my thumb. ''Hey,'' I breathe into the receiver, a big grin spreading on my face.
''Hey, babe,'' Braden's groggy, deep voice greets me back. I close my eyes. God, would I ever get tired of hearing his voice? Hearing him call me babe?
''What's up?'' I ask gently, plopping down on his enormous, comfortable bed.
Braden sighs. ''I know it's only been a few hours but I can't wait to get home,'' he admits, his voice tired.
A warmth spreads in my chest when he says home. He thinks home is here. With me. ''Me, too,'' I tell him sincerely. ''I really miss you.''
I hope he doesn't think I'm crazy. He hasn't been gone for a full day yet and I'm here, admitting to him that I already miss him.
But my doubts are soon killed when Braden says, ''I miss you, too. So much ...'' with so much emotion in his voice, it makes me squeeze my eyes tightly. I grip the phone in my hand tighter, wishing he could just be here and I'd be wrapped in his arms.
We already threw three weeks away and I don't want to spend another day without him. But this thing – him having to work and of course, travelling, I'll have to get used to. Because this is how my life with Braden is going to look like. If he's willing to spend it with me, of course.
''Is everything going okay? Did you manage to save that meeting you had to leave so abruptly?'' Because of me, I secretly add in my head, but I don't say it out loud because I don't want to put either of us in a bad mood.
''I'm still working on it, but it's looking on a positive side. Don't beat your head about it.''
I snort. ''Yeah, about me beating my head ...''
I learn too fast that was the wrong thing to say as the silence greets me back. I only hear his deep inhale of breath and then ... nothing.
I bite my lip, an anxious feeling suddenly growing inside of me. ''I was only joking, Braden,'' I say softly, almost afraid of his reaction.
''Well, I'm not laughing,'' he says back seriously.
I roll my eyes in exasperation. ''You know, you really need to loosen up a bit. People tend to joke about things,'' I tell him, careful to keep my voice light. ''And I always had myself for a person who knows how to joke so you're really shooting my ego down,'' I joke cheesily, laughing after it.
''Baby,'' he says lowly, meaningfully and my stomach squeezes at hearing just that one word from him. ''You can joke about things and you damn well can joke about them. Don't think you're not funny. But I'm not really keen on you joking about your health or your injuries. That,'' he stretches the word out, pointing it out, ''is not funny to me. Not even close.''
Well, damn.
Who would've thought I could fall in love with him even more?
''I swear I'm going to write a book about you someday, Braden Campbell. You just don't seem real.''
Braden chuckles and it's that kind of chuckle that I imagine him throwing his head back and laughing it out wholeheartedly, with his teeth all shown, his eyes crinkling at the corners from the true happiness. ''Joking again?'' he asks.
I shake my head. Then I remember he can't really see me. ''Not really. I think the book would become a best-seller.''
''Maybe I should keep you along for some time. You really know how to do wonders to my ego,'' Braden muses.
''Oh, like your big ego needs to grow even more?'' I play back, ignoring my stupid heart as it increased its race when Braden said how he should keep me along for some time. ''Besides, you couldn't get rid of me that easily.''
Braden makes a low sound back at his throat. ''No?'' he murmurs tenderly.
''Nope. You're stuck with me,'' I tell him, my voice teasing. I can't wipe that big grin away from my face even if I tried to.
''If you wanted to scare me off, it just isn't working. Because you have no idea how happy that makes me, hearing you say that.''
Jesus Christ, Braden! Are you planning on giving me a heart attack? ''I really love you, you know that, right?'' I say because nothing else comes into my mind. All his sweet words, all his sweet actions ... It makes my head spin, my heart race and my chest growing bigger at the love that's travelling through me.
It's the kind of love people read about in books and watch in movies. It's the kind of love to be too good to be true, but it is. It is true for us. At least, I'm holding onto that thought with all the hope I can muster in me.
''Back at you, precious,'' Braden responds, his voice soft, caressing my ears like the sweetest lullaby.
I sigh into the receiver as the silence falls on us, but neither of us wants to end the call. We don't have to say anything, but just knowing that he's on the other side, so close to me, yet so far, it's comforting enough. But I know he's on that business trip for a reason and he has work to do. ''I won't let you hold up. I'm sure you're really busy.''
''It's really late here so I'm actually heading to bed. I just wanted to hear your voice and speak to you before I fell asleep.''
Jesus. My eyes close at his admission, my hand subconsciously falling on my chest to massage the tightness. ''I'm glad because we're on the same page here.'' I try to act nonchalant, trying to joke about it maybe, but I'm sure he, as myself, can hear the love, the tenderness and the adoration in my tone. ''Good night, Braden,'' I tell him softly, imagining him laying in the bed across the world.
''Good night, baby. Get some rest.'' I hear the smile in his tone and I involuntary smile back.
Always looking out for me ...
We still don't hang up on each other for a long, long time. I only hear his breathing and when I hear it becomes even and deep, I realise that he fell asleep with me still being on the phone. Well, that just makes me feel some certain kind of way.
I end the call and spread myself on his awfully big bed, smiling up at the ceiling, still clutching the phone tightly in my hand, all traces of shower forgotten.
I'm too happy to fall asleep, Braden's words are still circling around in my brain, making me giggle out loud like a five-year-old.
I dial my mum's number.
''Hey, sweetheart! How are you feeling?'' her warm, concerned voice is the first thing that greets me and I smile at it.
''Hey, mum,'' I murmur. ''I'm fine. My head doesn't hurt that much anymore.'' I shrug, even though she can't really see me. I want to reassure her I'm okay so I tell her what I know she wants to hear the most.
''Oh, that's good, right? You should still rest, though ...'' she sounds uncertain and I realise I haven't convinced her yet.
I roll my eyes. ''Mum, I'm fine. But bored over the moon. I'm at Braden's, but he had to go back on a business trip. I'm calling to invite you and dad on a lunch tomorrow here.''
I really hope Braden doesn't get mad at me inviting people over at his place, but, well ... he should think about that before he locked me into his suite and forbade me to go anywhere!
Our conversation is still fresh in my mind.
''Rory, you have to promise me not to go anywhere, at least not alone. You're not to leave this suite without anyone beside you,'' Braden says, staring deeply into my eyes so I get what he's saying. ''Actually, I'd prefer if you didn't go anywhere. Please, just listen to me this time. It's for your own good,'' he quickly says when he sees I want to put an argument in there. He puts his forehead on mine, pecking my lips softly. ''The less I'm worried about you, the more I'll be focused on finishing this work and maybe come back to you even sooner.''
And he didn't have to say anything more. I'd agreed like a good girl I was, willing to do anything to have him back as soon as I can. I'm just selfish like that.
Not going anywhere part of it was making me frustrated, but I also know he's looking out for me. So who am I to judge?
''Rory, baby, I don't think that's such a good idea. You should be resting,'' my mum scolds me softly.
I sigh. ''Mum, please. I'm old enough now to know how to look after myself and know when I need rest and not. I'll tell you if I won't feel good, alright? You two just come here. I'll give you the address and you better write it down now,'' I warn her jokingly. I let her know I'm not backing down from this and she'll just have to trust me.
There's a small silence and then I hear her defeated sigh. ''Okay. Let me find a paper and a pen.''
I tell her the address and after some more reassuring that I really am okay and her gushing that I should go rest because I must be tired, we hang up.
And because I'm still fully awake and not really that tired I decide to take a shower. But upon entering the bathroom, my eyes instantly fall on the bath so big, there could easily be five people in it. Spreaded wholly.
And I'm sold.
I run the bath. I go search for the shampoo I brought with me - thankfully, because I don't feel like bathing in Braden's shampoos and smelling like a man – although on the other thought that's not even that stupid of an idea. Because I'd have Braden's scent on me.
But to rationally think about it, I'd rather not do that. It'll make me homesick even more.
It doesn't stop me from smelling all the scents, closing my eyes at everyone I smell, those familiar scents hitting my nostrils in that delicious way.
God, I'm hopeless.
Who even does that?
I scrunch my nose up at myself. For acting so silly. I really hope Braden doesn't have any cameras in here ... That would be really awkward for anyone to watch, much or less Braden himself.
I snort at the thought.
I put on some music on my phone to wait for the bath to get filled with the water.
It takes much longer than I expected, but when it's all set, I happily slide into the just perfect water, resting my head back, carefully. I sigh at the pleasure that travels through my body, my muscles instantly relaxing.
***
I'm hurting. The pain is almost too much to take.
Another kick comes. I let out another scream, another cry out for help. But nobody seems to hear me. Nobody seems to care.
Can anybody hear? Can anybody help me? Please, help me.
''That was a stupid move by you, darling,'' a voice above me snarls. I don't have it in me to even look up, but I know what I'll see anyway – the cold eyes staring down at me with nothing, but pure hatred and murder written in them.
Another punch comes. This time in my back and I hunch over, trying to get away from it. But I know I can't get away from it, I can't go anywhere. There's no running.
I wrap my arms over my stomach, hunching myself into a small ball, wishing to just be invisible. I want to disappear.
Another hit comes into the back of my head and I cry out in pain, gritting my teeth together. Please, stop. It hurts so much.
''You're going to pay for that, you little slut,'' the same voice spits out again. I'd be a fool to miss that dark undertone that chills my body down to my bones. ''And your bastard of a boyfriend. Let's make him never forget to mess with me again, yeah?''
Strong arms grab at me and turn me on my back. I open my eyes in fear just in time to see the foot right above my stomach, those merciless eyes and the face of a devil staring right down at me with a cruel smile on his lips.
And the last thought – the last prayer that repeats in my head all over again is, ''Please, don't hurt my baby. Please, don't let my baby die.''
''No!'' I cry out, waking up in a cramp. I'm hunched over in a protective ball, my knees pulled over my stomach, my hands wrapped around them. My tears are mixing with the sweat on my face.
I need some minutes to let myself calm down and come to a realization that I'm alone, in Braden's suite, in his room and safe in his bed. I squeeze my eyes tightly, the dream still so alive and vivid. The cold face of Charles haunting me.
''It was just a dream,'' I try to calm myself down. I start taking deep breaths. Deep inhale. Deep exhale. And repeat.
I relax a bit, but my arms don't leave my still flat stomach, caressing it. I may not be showing, but I know there's a life growing inside of me – I feel it. I feel like I'm already connected with my baby.
''I won't let anyone hurt you, sweetheart,'' I whisper into the dark, squeezing my eyes tightly shut as the fresh tears fall down my cheeks.
After that, the morning just couldn't come soon enough. I was afraid to close my eyes in fear of having a repeat of a nightmare again. So I stayed awake, turning in bed and fighting with the demons, settled inside of me.
Ah, Sundays! Who doesn't love them? (Well, me, because I have school tomorrow. Bleh.)
But I have a few days off next week so I'll be able to write a bit more, I hope.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! There's a lot more to comeeee ... ;) x