"Be careful of love. It'll twist your brain around and leave you thinking up is down and right is wrong."
~ Rick Riordan
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Peter's P.O.V
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Goosebumps appear on her arms and she shivers at the intensity of my gaze. She bites the inside of her cheek. "Stop it, Pete— Pan."
I straighten upright and look her in the eyes. The look in her eyes reflect all the emotions I'm feeling, even the ones that I've hidden deep inside. Alice opens her mouth to shout at me but I cut her off, pressing my lips against hers. I kiss her, hard. I take out all my anger on her. All the pain, frustration, desire, hate, desperation. Everything. Alice is gasping like an asthmatic when I pull back. Her breathing rapid and shallow.
I did everything for you! I want to shout at her. Everything! And this is how to repay me?
But I remain silent instead, waiting for her to speak first.
I expected Alice to scream at me or walk away, but she doesn't do any of those things. She waits until she catches her breath, then crashes her lips onto mine. The next thing I know the two of us are kissing again. My hands are in her hair and her arms are around my neck, cradling my nape.
"What— What are we?" she pants, pulling back, her breath hitting my lips.
"I don't know," I admit, running my hand through her hair. We aren't friends, that much is clear to me. We've done many things that friends don't do. So what are we?
Alice slowly looks me in the eye. "Then, what do you feel when you're with me?"
I shake my head, unsure. My emotions throw me into a whirlpool that I can't escape from. Sometimes you're better off not knowing things, but this is not one of those times. I find myself craving her touch, drawn to her when she walks by. I find myself yearning for her lips to be on mine more often, wanting to hold her and kiss her like there's no tomorrow.
Why? Why can't I escape the thought of her. Why am I so attracted to her?
"Do you even feel anything?" Alice asks. "Hate? Lust? Ambivalence? Frustration? Libido? Confusion? Anything. . . ?"
I don't know what to say so I don't say anything. She takes my silence as an answer, blinking away the tears that had formed in her eyes.
She turns around to leave but I say something that stops her in her tracks. She turns around to face me.
"What was that?" she asks.
"Everything," I repeat. "I feel everything when you're around. I feel more focused when you're around, and more. . . more compassionate."
The words that I've been holding back just come tumbling out and I can't stop them.
"I'm like the dark, cold sky and you light me up fireworks, you reflect my darkness as if it's your light. You're the calm to my raging storms. You gave me colour to my once grey life. You're the the only good thing in my miserable life—you're everything to me and more. And I'm scared for the way you make me feel because I don't want to feel anything."
Alice's eyes are cloudy with tears when I finished. "Do you," she pauses, clearing her throat. "Do you love me?"
Do I? Is this what it feels like to be in love? Needing to be with the other person all the time, smiling for no reason when you hear their name, feeling the urge to protect them from the dangers of the cruel world?
I open my mouth to tell her but stop when I feel the presence of someone stepping into Pixie Woods.
"Peter? Are you alright?" Alice asks worriedly.
"They're coming," I say. "You have to hide."
"Where could I possibly hide?"
I grab her my the arm and drag her towards my thinking tree. "Forget that idea, I'll have to tie you up.
"What?"
"Look, they'll kill you if they find out that you're with me," I say.
"I never said I was—" she breaks off, crying out in frustration.
"Just stay here," I say, waving my arm over her, causing the tree to wrap its vines around her waist, tying her to it.
"Don't hurt them," she begs.
I give her a look.
She rolls her eyes. "Fine. Try not to hurt them."
I nod. "Don't believe what they say about me."
"I won't."
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Alice's P.O.V
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"One last thing," Peter says, turning around. "They saw me take you here against your will, it'll very suspicious if they find you here like this."
"Okay, so what are you going to do?" I ask.
"I'll have to cast a spell on you so that it'll seem like I'm controlling you," he says.
I eye him wearily.
"Don't worry," Peter assures me. "It'll only last a few minutes."
"Okay, if you say so."
Peter then waves his hand over me, causing my skin to feel tingly. I open my mouth to speak but no words come out.
"That's part of the spell," he tells me. "So you won't be able to answer the questions they ask you."
I nod understandingly.
Peter walks over to the rock in the middle of the clearing and places Pandora's Box there. He then turns to face me. "I'll be standing by in case anything happens."
I watch as he leaves the clearing.
After awhile, I start hearing the sound of leaves rustling nearby. The rustling gets louder as the seconds pass and I begin to hear voices. "We can't leave without Alice, who knows what horrible things Pan could be doing to her."
"We won't," Emma assures Lewis. "Don't worry, kid. I doubt Pan would go through so much trouble to make sure she's safe just to hurt her."
The rustling stops. "Look," I hear Regina say.
The sound of swords being unsheathed fills the air as they walk towards Pandora's Box. Ray is the first one to notice me.
"Alice!" he exclaims, rushing towards me, Lewis behind him.
"Are you alright? Did he hurt you?" Lewis asks, checking me for any obvious wounds.
Both Lewis and Ray clench their fists when they realise that I've been crying.
It's alright, I try to say. He didn't hurt me.
"What was that?" Will asks.
I attempt to repeat what I'd just said but the spell prevents me from doing so. I shake my head.
"What did he do to her?" Ray asks Regina.
Regina glanced at me. "He cast a spell on her. I don't exactly know what it is but it's definitely a powerful one."
"Don't worry, Alice," Lewis says, unsheathing his sword. "We're going to get you out of here."
Mary Margaret sets her quiver down against the tree, making her way towards Pandora's Box.
"Careful," Regina warns.
The Princess stops in her tracks, looking at The Evil Queen.
"Pan wouldn't have just left Alice or Pandora's Box behind for no reason," Regina continues.
"It's David's only way home," Mary Margaret says. "Without Gold, we're stuck here—"
I try to warn her as she reaches for the box but the tree wrap its vines around her before I manage to do so.
"Mary Margaret!" Emma shouts as the vines pull her mother towards the tree.
The tree immediately shots more of its vines towards the rest of the group, flinging them towards the tree. Emma and Lewis drop their swords in shock as they are pulled towards it. Emma and Regina are then tied next to Mary Margaret, Will is tied to her right while Ray and Lewis flank me.
Nice of you guys to join me, I think drily, looking over at the boys.
They struggle against the vines' hold on them in a futile attempt to escape. Will reaches for the dagger in his belt but the vines prevent him from getting a firm grip on it. He exhales in frustration, shaking his head. Peter then makes his appearance next to me, walking out from behind the tree.
"You're still at it? Don't you know," he pauses, and I hear the sound of metal on metal, indicating that he picked up the fallen swords. "Peter Pan never fails."
"I didn't expect you to find me," he says, a twinge of annoyance in his voice. "Then again, you're mothers." He paces around tree. "Quite tenacious about your offspring and your loved ones."
"Believe it or not, I understand that," Peter says, caressing my cheek.
"Don't touch her!" Ray and Lewis shout.
"I don't see Alice complaining," Peter says, taking a step back.
"Well, that's mainly because you cast a spell on her," Will states.
"Correct, laddie. Why do you even hang out with these buffoons?" Peter asks, gesturing towards Ray and Lewis with one of the swords.
"They're holding back your full potential." He points at Ray. "Your brother is a worthless runt who can't even take care of himself, let alone the both of you."
Ray glares at him as Peter points at Lewis. "And this one's just a hopeless romantic who third-wheels everyone. Forget about them, Will. Join me. You can rule Neverland alongside Alice and I."
"Don't listen to him, Christian!" Ray shouts. "He'll use you like he used Henry."
Will jerks his head to the right, giving his brother a look. They engage in a silent conversation, only communicating through facial expressions. I glare at Peter for causing the two brothers to argue. So this was his plan all along, get Henry's heart then recruit Will as a Lost Boy.
Ray shakes his head as Will turns to face Peter.
"Thank you for the offer, but, no. I'd never leave my brother, or my parabatai to join you."
"And I highly doubt Alice would join you, either," Lewis adds.
Would I? Would I really leave Neverland, leave Peter? I don't think I'd be able to choose if I were given a choice.
Peter shrugs, taking a step back. "Well, I tried. You'll always be welcomed to join us if you change your mind." He clears his throat, walking back to Emma and the others. "As I was saying, if you're looking to see Henry again, I have to tell you there's only one place you'll be reunited— in death."
I feel the vines tighten as Regina lunges forward.
"Having trouble moving?" Peter taunts. "I'm not surprised given where you are. Do you see what's hastening your demise is your regret?"
"What are you talking about?" Emma asks.
"This tree is the site of a very important event for my family," Peter says. "My father abandoned me here—well, on the beach not far from here, actually—like his father before him."
That explains why Peter isn't someone who falls in love or trusts people that easily.
"Great family," Ray mutters.
"But if your father abandoned you here, you must regret not spending time with him, too," Emma says.
"But I don't. Quite the opposite, actually." The sound of a box scraping a rock indicates that Peters picked Pandora's Box up.
"See, I have him all boxed up so he'll never leave my grandfather and I again."
Wait. That means—
"You're Rumpelstiltskin son?" Regina asks.
"That I am, his oldest son to be exact," Peter says.
"How's that possible?" Mary Margaret asks. "Baelfire's—"
"Older than me?" Peter finishes. "Not really. Just like you and your daughter."
"You're a fraud," Regina says abruptly. "Your magic is weakened, you can't hurt us, let alone Rumpelstiltskin."
"You're right," Peter replies, surprising me. "But that's why I'm here. This tree will protect me till my power's restored."
"And then," Peter scoffs. "Well. . . Then my grandfather, Malcolm, will never have to worry about his child again. Something else you'll all soon have in common."
Someone—Emma probably—lunges at him, causing everyone to grunt in pain as the vines tighten.
"Would you stop that?" Will snaps. "The vines are obviously not going to get looser this way."
I feel a twinge of guilt, recalling that Will's claustrophobic. I'm quite proud that he managed to fight his fear for our sake.
"There has to be another way," Emma says, obvious to Will's phobia.
"You're not going to get to me," Peter tells her. "See, this tree attacks the regret inside anyone who comes here, and you, you've got plenty."
"I regret not taking a better shot at you when I had the chance," Emma says.
"That's not all, is it, Saviour?" Peter asks. "No. I have your son's heart inside of me. I can feel just how much you've let him down time and time again."
Stop it, Peter.
"Leave her alone," Mary Margaret says protectively.
"Perhaps I should," Peter says. "After all, what chance did you have of being a good mother? Look at the example you set. Abandoning her for twenty-eight years."
"Stop being such a prick, Pan," Lewis says.
Peter chuckles, staying where he is. "Why do you think you're tied to this tree, boy?"
Lewis clenches his teeth.
"I'll tell you why," Peter says, teleporting in front of him. "It's because you regret not telling her you loved her."
Her?
"You know," Peter continues. "Alice probably wouldn't even be here if you hadn't left her alone that afternoon."
Hold up! Who are they talking about?
Lewis gives Peter a warning look. "I rushed back to her house the second I heard the news. Will and I did everything in our power to find her."
"That you did. Until you gave up hope and took the easy way out, resorting to suicide. Like a coward." Peter lowers his voice. "You should've told her you loved her when you had the chance."
"She's my best friend, she knows I love her," Lewis snaps.
Peter chuckles. "You and I both know it's not her friendship you want."
What?
"Leave him alone, Pan," Ray snaps.
Peter turns his attention to Ray. "And you, laddie, you almost have just as much regret inside yourself as The Saviour has. You left your brother all alone when he needed you the most."
Shut up, Peter!
Thankfully Regina speaks up.
"Are you finished?" The Evil Queen asks, annoyed.
Peter appears in front of her. "Last words from The Evil Queen. Perhaps a deathbed confession from the one who has the most regrets of all."
"Yeah, there's one problem with that," Regina says.
"I did cast a curse that devastated an entire population. I have tortured and murdered. I should be overflowing with regret, but I'm not." The vines break as Regina manages to free herself. I rush to the other side of the tree—where Peter and the others are—as soon as the vines give way. I reach the other side just in time to see Regina speak again. "Because it got me my son."
I watch in horror as Regina then sticks her hand into Peter's chest. I feel Peter's spell on me break as she does so. Peter gasps in pain and she proceeds to rip Henry's heart out of him. He collapses onto the ground, Pandora's Box falling from his palm. He extends his hand towards the box and reaches for it, but Regina snatches it from the ground before he can do so. She stands up, turning to face us.
"Now, let's go save Henry."
Ray places his arm over my shoulder. "Let's go, Alice."
But I can't. I stay rooted next to the tree, unable to take my eyes off Peter.
"Alice," Peter gasps. "Please."
Lewis and Will walk back when they notice that Ray and I aren't following the group. Lewis looks at me with hopeful eyes. "Alice? Aren't— Aren't you coming?"
I nod, not trusting myself enough to speak. I turn to leave but what Peter says next stops me in my tracks.
"I thought you loved me."
I hesitantly turn around to face him. And the tears trickling down his face causes my heart to throb. I choose my words carefully, putting in every deep thought and emotion inside it.
I choose them based on everything that's happened. The good: Peter wasn't a total ass to me the entire time I was here, he became kinder to the Lost Boys, he treated Cassie and the twins like his own children. The image of Peter kissing me flashes in my mind, his hands in my hair, my hands around his neck— No. No, I'm being biased.
I won't let the good things he did make me forget the bad things: Peter kidnapped me, he was such as arsehole to Ray, Peter had his shadow kidnap Lewis and Will, he lied to me a countless amount of times, he abducted Henry, he kept a mentally ill girl captive in Neverland behind my back. No, the bad things outweigh the good things this time. He lied to me, again and again.
If Peter kept the reason why Henry was really here and did so many horrible things behind my back who knows if he was sincere whenever he said sweet things to me? How can I be sure he wasn't lying to me, wasn't faking everything just for his bloody game? That he didn't have an ulterior motive for all of this? I look him in the eyes as I give him my answer.
"I loved you."
The look on Peter's face breaks my heart and it physically hurts me. I force myself to peel my eyes away from Peter, not before seeing the look of pure hurt and betrayal on his face. I blink away the tears that had formed on my face as Ray puts his arm around my shoulder once more. "Let's go, Alice."
I glance back at the boy I used to love.
"Goodbye, Peter."
And with those words said, I turn around and follow the boys out of Pixie Woods, where I will leave Peter behind forever. I didn't realise that I had admitted that I loved him until now. I will never forget this day. The day I lost Pan's Game; the day Peter lost me.
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Alice finally admitted that she loved Peter! I'm not even sorry for the cliffhanger this time xD good luck sleeping tonight.
I hope you guys are ready for the finale because the final chapters are coming up soon. But don't worry too much even if I do kill a certain someone *cough* *cough* it won't be the end of Pan's Game because as I said before, I intend to make this book into a trilogy.
Anyway, I'm not sure if you guys noticed, but Pan's Game has almost reached 50K reads and I wanted to ask you guys when you want me to update the chapter for Q&As. Should I post it as the last chapter of this book? Comment below what you think.
I'll try update the next chapter asap but I apologise in advance in case I don't update it by Monday because my My M.Y.Es (Mid Year Exams) are coming up and I have to focus on my studies atm, I hope you guys understand. I actually should be studying now but I decided that I owed you guys an explanation.
That's all of this A/N, bye, guys
~ Alice xx
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Did you like this chapter? (If yes, why? And if no, why?) Did it give you the feels? (Which part did?)
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Should I go back to making gifs or do you guys like my imagines?
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Vote, comment, rate, do whatever you want <3
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Edited: 1.11.2018