Found pictures that remind me of what happened in the last chapter and made a collage of it.
I had never been happier. I laid with her for a few hours, sure my feet were having a hard time because they were hanging off the bed but I didn't care, I got to cuddle and kiss her. No one came into her room and I suppose our mums knew that we had made up and knew we needed time to catch up.
I stayed at the hospital until around 11 at night watching a marathon of a television show called Miranda, it's about this tall awkward lady who runs a joke shop with her friend and she has his over protective judgmental mother who always tries to set her up with guys. I caught most of what was going on and as soon as Maddy figured out how to get the subtitles to work, we were both in stitches laughing. I could feel Maddy shake on my chest as she giggled, it made me smile to look down upon her and see her happy.
For a while she fell asleep on me when we were laying closer to each other so I fixed it to make it more comfortable, I laid on my back with her head on my chest with one arm around her and the other one holding her hand. Her hair would be spread down her back and I'd gather it all in my hands and start playing with it which for some reason would make her dose off. I felt her heart beat slow on me, as if she was extremely relaxed. Her hand slipped out of mine and pawed my chest, resting it there. The hand on her back softly caressed her, I watched my freckled hand brush over her back, stroking her, going from her shoulders to the base of he spine then back up again. The hospital gown was loosely tied with canvas strings on her, gaps in the back showed off her flawless fair skin, I put my finger where her back was exposed, it was so soft, the feel of it reminded me of that day at the water park when she put her legs on top of mine on that ride. My finger stroked the skin exposed and eventually she shifted herself in the middle of me, Maddy laid on my chest with one hand on where my heart was and another beside me. Her legs laid in between mine and ended at my mid shin. My eyes went down her back to her feet to survey her, admiring what was rightfully mine now. I sounded possessive, I didn't mean to but I was allowed to think this.
My eyes started at her feet, her toes were painted a neon pink colour, her hospital gown ended at her knees. It was tied tightly at the bottom was loose where her back was, my was still there, rubbing her back, stroking her. The nape of Maddy's neck was concealed by light baby hairs, I could see the top of her spin which stuck out because of how tiny and thin she was. My favourite part to look at was her face, specifically her lips, they were pink and had a sharp v-shape on her upper lip, just looking at them I could remember how they felt.
Maddy began to shake a little, she was freezing all of a sudden, I reached for the blanket at the bottom of her bed and threw it over the both of us, tucking it around her snuggly and kissed her head as I strapped my arms around her for extra warmth. I didn't know how I was going to let go of her at the end of the night, but I didn't think about that, I just thought about now, how perfect everything was, how I had the perfect girl laying with me and how I loved her with all of my heart, how she loved me for me. It was all perfect, I was in bliss.
Okay so I could go on and on about my perfect second half of the day with her and how many times I kissed her after that without her hiding her feelings towards me or how I kissed her, or how I prefer the way I kiss Maddy vs Elizabeth and I could go on and on about how I'm the happiest and luckiest guy in the whole world until I'm blue in the face but I'm not going to bore you with my romance. At 11 I went home with my mum because her shift was over and she had the night off. It was very hard for me to go home, honestly I would have loved to spend the night with her but she was going to be discharged 10am tomorrow morning so I'd see her tomorrow hopefully. God I hoped so.
I really didn't want to go home, but at the end of the evening I kissed her goodnight and went home with my mum, I hid my face from her on the drive home, looking out my window. The worst part is Eloise and my mum saw me kiss her goodnight as well, so they knew all of it without anyone having to say anything.
No one had to tell them I was madly in love with Eloise and Edward's daughter and no one had to tell them that I wasn't ready to part from her. It was obvious, bloody obvious.
The whole way home I couldn't look at my mum and I couldn't stop smiling. Everything ended perfectly, I got the girl just in time for my last year of school.
When I got home, I laid in my bed with my head looking up at the ceiling. I was so happy with myself. I was so happy with everything, I had someone who really, truly loved me, not someone who searched for lust and meaningless sex. That's all Elizabeth did, she just wanted attention and sex, she's so not the girl I went to primary school with, that little Elizabeth is gone completely. But as I sat in the car, I didn't think about Elizabeth. I just thought about my lovely Madeline, my lovely girl. Just the thought of her set my heart racing and my face to get hot.
I picked up my phone and opened up iMessage and reread all the nasty things we texted to each other before we made up and confronted each other about our feelings. They hurt a little to read but that period was over, thank goodness. So I began to write.
Aaron: I don't know if you're still up, I hope you aren't because you should rest but if you are I want you to know that I had the best day ever with you and I wanted so much to stay longer. Sweet dreams Maddy
I put my phone down but it buzzed in my hand.
Maddy: I'm sorry I rejected your help at the arts centre, I was still mad
I frowned for two reasons, that she was still upset at the time and for the fact she was still up.
Aaron: it's alright, I was just really worried for you, and when you fainted I was scared it was something worse.
Maddy: no I was just upset and really dehydrated apparently, I spent the week being so mad at the world, mad at you and mad at Elizabeth that it was causing me serious stress and I guess it just became to much
Aaron: Karina said some things that made me feel like a terrible person and she was the one who dragged how I felt about you out of the shadows.
Maddy: what did she tell you?
Aaron: that you were crying and screaming that you hated me and that you never wanted to see me again. She didn't believe it. Karina said that you were in denial but I thought you genuinely hated me.
Maddy: unfortunately that's true about me being screaming and crying but I don't hate you at all, can't tell you how many headaches I've had this week from the screaming
Aaron: that's my fault, I'm sorry I did this to you. Wish I let Karina tell you how I felt
Maddy: it's alright, I know now and time wasn't running out, you had so much of my heart it would take a while to feel back to normal. I figured the best way to forget you was to cut all communication with you. I almost took a dance scholarship to get me out of the city.
My heart stopped, she was going to leave? But most importantly, she gave up a dance scholarship?
Aaron: when did you win the scholarship?
Maddy: I haven't, I'm still competing for it.
Aaron: where would it take you?
She took a while, starting to type. Almost like she regretted telling me about it. If she did win one, she would have to take it. She couldn't give it up for me, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I knew she was giving up something that big just for me.
Maddy: there are a few, one is to Russia, Saint Petersburg I think. Another in the states in NYC, then there is one in Milan Italy and one here, the royal ballet.
Aaron: when will you know you've won?
Maddy: well if I win i'll know after the last dance competition in about a week.
Aaron: if you had a pick, where would you go to dance?
Maddy: Milan but I don't want to leave anymore. I couldn't leave you or my family for a year. And I wanted to go to the royal ballet since I was little so I would choose there
My heart broke again into a million pieces, I bit my lip hard till it bled to stop me from saying something I'd regret. I didn't want her to leave me either, I finally had her and now she was slipping out of my hands like smoke. I couldn't keep her here for my own selfish feelings. Maddy had a brilliant career in front of her and an amazing life waiting for her... without me if she had the chance to go to Milan. I'd have to let my lovely girl go conquer the world. I stared off for about 10 minutes before I answered.
Aaron: if Milan's your dream and if you get it i'll be very upset if you don't take it.
Maddy: I don't even want it that much, London is a better option.
Aaron: that's a complete and utter lie Madeline. We both know that.
Maddy: are you trying to get rid of me?
Aaron: why would you even think that? It breaks my heart to think I wouldn't see you for a year, I love you to bits? But I'm not going to let you give up something as important as that for a school that wont help you on your way to doing what you want just so you're able to see me. I won't have it
Maddy: i don't even know if I'll get the scholarship, there are girls much better than me and I don't have my choice, the schools watches you dance and decides if they're interested.
Aaron: can I come to the competition? I would love to see you dance.
Maddy: yes you can come, but you need to know
I bit my bloody lip, what else was she going to tell me? That this was all a joke? That she really did love jamie and this was all a joke?
Aaron: oh no, you're scaring me...
Maddy: I dance with Seth in this and it's sort of a love story themed dance so at the end I kiss him
Even though Seth had a boyfriend, that still made me upset he'd be kissing my lovely, beautiful girl.
Aaron: oh
Maddy: but don't worry, it's a stage kiss. I'm yours, and my real kiss will always be reserved for you, I promise you
Aaron: I know. I just couldn't take it when I saw jamie kiss you, but I can deal with it. I just don't like the idea of you kissing someone who isn't me. It's taken forever to get to now, it'll feel like its reversing everything.
Maddy: I know that but I swear it's only a stage kiss and the next pair of lips I kiss after that will only be yours, you know I love you. Seth is going work at a dance company next year so he's no longer in the program
Aaron: I love you too.
It gave me butterflies texting that, and her saying she loved me made me feel wonderful, I had someone to love and receive love from. She was all mine, my girl, the only person I would gladly give all of my heart to. I rested my phone on my stomach for a second and looked at my alarm clock. It was nearly two in the morning. We had been talking for two hours and I had been with her at hospital since the afternoon.
Aaron: it's nearly 2am, my lovely girl
My eyes began to be heavy and tired. I laid on my side watching the screen until she replied.
Maddy: so it is
Aaron: i'll have to say goodnight to you my dear. Hopefully i'll see you tomorrow, sweet dreams <3
Maddy: okay. sweet dreams
I smiled at her texts and put my phone on charge on my desk. It was funny, I talked to her and affection and love just poured out of me, I never thought I'd call her those things, my dear and my lovely girl but I became this emotional lovey dovey marshmallow that I called her those things. Was it weird to call her those things? Cause people, my generation or at least my age say things like babe or baby or something like that, I didn't like it. It was weird, made it seem like a really immature relationship but I suppose what I called her was something more adult. Which I don't think was bad, I preferred it.
I went to sleep and dreamt about her, nothing happened in the dream, I just saw her in my dream time.
I woke up fairly early and my first impulse was to text her good morning but I was stopped when I got a text from Jamie.
Jamie: hey can we meet somewhere? I have a lot on my mind and I need to talk
I got scared... I knew what was on his mind and knew what he wanted to talk but I couldn't run away from it. If he didn't already know what wad going on between Maddy and I, he was going to find out some time, and I wanted him still as my friend so I needed to be honest.
So I dare text him back...
Aaron: yeah, do you want me to come over? Or we could go to a park or something
I put my phone down as I got dressed. I chose a grey jumper, the last time I wore it, it was December. Then grabbed my tan trousers from the dryer. Anticipation grew inside of me, minutes were slipping by without any texts.
I checked the time, it was nearly 10 which meant Maddy would be leaving the hospital soon. My phone buzzed and I was too afraid to look but I did anyway.
Jamie: just come over and hopefully I can get some stuff off my mind
He was going to get some stuff off his mind, alright. More like he was going to give me a piece of his mind if he knew what was going on.
So...there might be more to this story than I thought, though it is still almost over.
What do you think? Is Maddy going to Milan? Or staying in London? Or even getting a scholarship? Do you think jamie knows? Or do you think he's completely oblivious? I want to know.
Love you guys
Until next time.
Margo