"There is some realm where feelings become birds and dark sky, and spirit is more solid than stone." - John Gardner
"Good morning, Raziel. To what do we owe the pleasure of your company this morning?"
"There is something we thought you should see."
"We?"
"Freyja and myself."
This didn't bode well for me. Freyja was as dear as a sister and probably the best friend I'd ever had--not something I would have imagined saying about a goddess just a year ago. If she'd come to me alone, I wouldn't have given it a thought. She'd be just as likely to be gushing over the sweet joy of the lives of the characters in the latest Jan Karon novel as sharing any major news from the outposts of the Realms. Raziel, on the other hand, had a history of initiating far more challenging conversations.
I handed the dish towel I'd been holding to the archangel. "Here. You finish drying the dishes. I'm going to let Michael know what's up." I walked away before he caught me laughing at the expression on his face.
Michael stood with two of the other men in front of the opened hood of an old Ford van. They all stared into the machine's inner workings like necromancers peering into a crystal ball. "Gotta step out for a few, love. The Great One showed up on "urgent business"." I tried to sound lighthearted and, even to my own ears, thought I'd done a pretty good job, but no one knew me better than Michael.
He reached for my hand. "What's going on?"
I smiled for him. "He just says he wants to show me something."
"Are you OK?"
"Yup!" I chirped. It was true. I was OK that day. That day I didn't cry tears I couldn't stop. I wasn't trembling uncontrollably or jumping at tiny noises. I could remember everything I'd done in the immediate past. I was OK. I was far better than I'd been on some other days. "You don't..." He let go of my hand. "Nevermind. I love you," he said.
"I love you, too." I left him there and returned to Raziel.
She's coming!
The Prophet!
She has no business here.
Sing praise!
What do you think you're doing? This is beyond your ability. Don't anger us further. We will consume you. My invisible tormenter was back. His voice much clearer than the rest. I pushed all the voices to a corner of my mind.
Focus on what's here, I told myself.
"Alright, big guy. Let's rock and roll," I said to Raziel. He folded the towel carefully and hung it over the edge of the sink to dry. I was impressed. He'd worked faster than Donovan or Michael, but not as quickly as Atsheena. Not bad for a beginner. "Where are we going?"
"We shall travel to Freyja's realm."
Whoa. I had never traveled between realms before. I'd had visions, but never actually, physically, moved from one world to another. Of course, Raziel heard my thoughts.
"It was much harder to travel, before."
"I see," I said, not seeing at all. "So now we can just drive over?"
"No. The realms are everywhere, but the gateways are only at intersecting places. We cannot drive. The gateway is not large enough to accommodate an entire vehicle. We must walk." He was very literal.
"I see," I said again, biting back laughter. "Well, I'll just get my coat then."
The archangel led me out of the side door nearest to the kitchen and toward the woods that bordered the northern edge of the property.
She'll destroy us!
She'll save us!
Appeal to her. Perhaps she'll intervene.
She is without real power.
I wondered idly if I was like Oprah to them. A huge name in entertainment. Didn't they have anything else to talk about? I wasn't thrilled to be the center of attention for the beings of the realms again.
"Of course, you are quite well known," Raziel replied to my thoughts.
"Of course," I agreed with a bit of sarcasm.
We walked together in a silence that was reasonably comfortable and, before long, came to a path where the quality of light seemed to take on an indefinably different cast.
"You have done well, Simone. You have been faithful and bold and you have done everything that has been asked of you."
"But more is about to be asked." It wasn't a question.
"There is much happening in the Realms," Raziel replied in his oblique way.
"No doubt."
The further we walked the more things changed until, emerging from the other side of the little woods we found ourselves bathed in a rich, golden glow that emanated from the rocks themselves. The trees gave way to an endless prairie, covered with grass and wild flowers in every shade of the rainbow. As I stared in every direction, wide-eyed and eager to take in this new wonder, Raziel continued along the path.
A bird with an impossibly long sea-foam green tail flew above us. I pulled the veil from my face to get an unobstructed view of the gorgeous iridescence of the feathers. As soon as I was uncovered, the creature arced through the sky and came back toward us. It landed on the path in front of us, beautiful beyond all reason and far larger than it had appeared in the sky. For a moment it stood, looking straight at me. A little spray of green and yellow feathers sprouted from the top of its head, reminding me of a royal crown. It bowed down to touch its forehead to the ground in front of me and spoke in a sweet, singing voice. "Welcome, prophet. On behalf of my people, I pledge loyalty and ask that you allow me to guide you to The Golden One."
The Golden One could only be Freyja. It was a perfect description of her. "Thank you," I said, quite at a loss. Perhaps I'd fallen asleep after all. Even after everything else I'd seen, this seemed a little too dreamlike to be real. He took off once more, staying much lower this time. The angel and I walked behind him, our feet crushing flower petals that sent up scents so sweet it was impossible to refrain from breathing in the longest, deepest draughts I could.
She crossed the realms!
The prophet has moved!
They come!
She is nothing to us.
They are fools.
It doesn't matter.
It wasn't long before we crested a small hill and Freyja's home appeared. She lived in a castle of gold and turquoise that, like the rocks beneath our feet, glowed with a soft, pleasing radiance. It was the most beautiful, elaborate structure I'd ever seen. It reminded me of an ornate Muslim temple I'd seen once, all rounded domes and intricate spires. The craftsmanship was exquisite. I couldn't look at it without weeping.
No road or path led to the dwelling. It seemed to have grown in its place on this dreamscape prairie.
I stumbled and would have fallen if not for Raziel's steadying hold on my arm. "Are you well?" he asked.
I grinned up at him, heedless of the tears rolling quietly down my cheeks. "It's all so lovely!" I said, breathless with wonder. In this place he did not look at all like a man. Here, he existed in his rainbow-light form, a burning force of molten love and zealousness. I stopped moving and just gazed at him for a moment. A little hiccupping sob escaped me. "You're so lovely, too!" I started to tip a little and his grip tightened.
Haha! A simple crossing is beyond her. She can't touch us. She can barely stand on her own feet.
Even in that state, totally overwhelmed, I knew something was off. I had seen this place before, through the filter of the veil. Now I was there in person and yet there was an odd mist that made it impossible to see with clarity. It was the Lost Ones: the souls that had been unsatisfied in their lives and crossed over no longer knowing how to find contentment. They had multiplied exponentially. Their amorphous wraith forms swirled about, little more than breath, moaning a soft but constant and terrible sound. It would have been easy to overlook them, like the ripple of heat rising from black pavement on a midsummer day.
A pinkness crept around the edges of my vision.
At that moment, I heard a rustling in the grass and there was Freyja, wrapped in her remarkable cape of woven feathers. "Simone!" She looked concerned but I couldn't fathom why. How could any concern exist here, in this wonderful place? I saw her reach out for me and a single drop of blood appeared on her slender, elegant hand.
"Don't touch her!"
A voice that didn't match this place cut through the pinkish haze that built in front of me. Freyja responded instantly, withdrawing, and the largest woman I'd ever seen came between us and pressed a cloth to my bleeding nose. Her touch was firm and just a little painful, but cool and comforting at the same time. I felt my wits coming back to me a bit. "For creatures who have more knowledge than most of the universe combined you'd think they'd have a little more sense." She had a strong, lyrical accent associated with people from northern Africa. "Come with me, child." She put an arm around my shoulders, held me against her considerable bosom, and led me into the golden palace. The two shining creatures of light trailed along behind us.
"Everything here glows except you," I said, wondering why my words were just a little slurred.
"True enough," she replied with a little chuckle rumbling through her chest. "I've always been more mud than sunshine." She pressed me into a large, cushioned chair and hunkered down in front of me, dabbing at my nose and cheeks. Her deep brown eyes seemed full of laughter and kindness. A flush crept into my cheeks.
"Sometimes Freyja's presence makes me feel like I've been drinking," I explained to her. "I guess being here in her world left me totally schnockered."
"Mmm-hmm." She clucked her tongue. "You're alright now." She held my hand in her massive, calloused palm and turned to face the beautiful creatures standing at some distance. "You two need to take it easy. Her spirit may be powerful but she is wrapped in human flesh and you'd do well to remember that. Her gifts are many but not all of us can pick and choose when we want to be attached to matter."
Freyja looked truly distressed. "I'm so sorry! Are you OK, Simone? I was so excited for you to come here. I didn't think it would be so hard for you."
"I'm fine," I insisted. I really did feel OK, if perhaps a bit off balance still. I hated that she felt bad. "Your home is lovely, Freyja. Beyond lovely--it's extraordinary! It's truly the most wonderful place I've ever seen."
She beamed. "Thank you. I am very fond of it."
The woman in front of me was every bit as beautiful as the others, but in a very different way. Rather than give, her warm brown flesh absorbed the light. While they were diaphanous, she was as solid as rock. She was much larger than me, both taller and significantly heavier with massive breasts and huge, round hips, but she moved with remarkable grace and the unmistakable strength of an athlete. To be touched by her was to be comforted and at home.
"It seems I should know you but I'm sorry to say that I don't think I do," I said.
"Well sure you do, child. I'm Gaia."
"You're Mother Earth!" I couldn't have been more delighted. I wished I could sit on her lap and have her rock me to sleep in her powerful arms. For all that I loved Freyja and respected Raziel, I didn't feel so intricately connected to either of them as I instantly did to this woman.
"These two brought you here for a good reason, but such a journey usually requires years of preparation."
"Time is short," Raziel stated in his unapologetic way.
Gaia scolded him. "Time is a natural bond of human existence. You best keep that in, because time will get a whole lot shorter if you accidentally kill her."
I giggled a little. I'd never heard anyone dare put the powerful angel in his place in such a way.
"We must also keep in mind that time is apart from this place," Freyja said.
Though this made no sense at all to me, it seemed fairly striking to both Raziel and Gaia, who spoke to me again, still holding my hand. She dabbed at the last of the blood from my nose as she talked.
"It was important for you to come here, though it was hard on you. There are some that need to counsel with you and, while it may be hard for you to be here, it is all but impossible for them to come to your world. Even so, we need to respect your needs. You, far more than most humans, have become like us. You're close to our hearts, Simone, and we forget that you have the fragility of human nature as well as the powerful strength of a spirit."
Being connected, quite literally, to Mother Earth helped me... well, helped my feet stay on solid ground again. So often Freyja's power of giving warmth and light carried me through dark or overwhelming moments. But to be in her realm, with no filter between myself and the pure, unbounded joy of her world, was pleasant to the point of painful. If anyone understood the worth of the feel of the solid earth under your feet, it was Gaia. I allowed myself another moment and a few more deep breaths. "So you say someone needs to speak with me?"
Raziel moved closer. "There are several who wish to speak directly with you. We thought, perhaps, we could all come together in one place, at one time and conference."
I nodded. "I am willing to speak with anyone who wishes it."
"Before they come, you need to understand something," Freyja interjected. "You noticed the Mist of Lost Ones, I assume?"
I nodded again shivering. For all I'd seen, there was something especially creepy about the lost ones. I think it was the idea of spending eternity in limbo, neither fully living nor fully dead and never moving on.
"Things are getting worse very quickly now, Simone. The Light is Pure and always will be, but the environment through which it moves no longer is. That Which Is will not stand for this corruption. We must work faster. I have begged for more time and have been shown vast Grace and Mercy, but there must be Justice and Peace as well, at some point. There must be balance. That Which Is will cleanse all with healing fire if that is what is required." His voice drifted off, sadness radiating from him in great waves.
"Are we talking about a Noah's Ark situation? Only eight people left to repopulate the earth?" I asked.
Raziel's eyes burned. "It will be much more than that. It will be the time of Noah and the time of The Great Divide all at once and more. In the time that you refer to as 'Noah's', only the earth was destroyed. This event will stretch across time and space. Such a thing has never before been considered.
I was dizzy and sweating, my emotions spiraling out of control. "I can't stop that! I'm just one mortal woman
"Still, after all this time and all you have seen? You still don't understand?" He shook his head a little in frustration. "Look, Simone."
"No. I can't. I can't look anymore. I don't want to. It's just too much," I whined.
"You can," he said.
The deep and powerful emotion in his green eyes compelled me.
Something hovered on a precipice. I couldn't stop the quiet tears that spilled slowly, endlessly from my eyes. Without letting go of Gaia, I grasped the hand he offered and watched. I saw three men, just boys, really. They were very possibly still in their teens. The three of them were seated around a table. Mugs of hot coffee steamed in front of them, and they cupped their hands around them as though drawing strength from the warm brew. Within the tapestry, lost souls swirled and moaned. Consciously, the men remained unaware of them but they instinctively moved away when one brushed too close.
"It's not too late, Miguel. You can't believe that. We are here, right? We still have breath in our lungs. We still have each other. Brothers to the end, right?"
"They're just so strong. And there are so many! You saw them, Carlos. They ripped the whole village to shreds."
"But they've moved on, Mijo." The third man spoke. "We can't fight them, but we can start a new life. We survived the attack. There must be others like us—survivors."
Miguel shook his head, and a tear escaped his eye.
"Hey," said Carlos, "It's not so different than the drug wars, eh? One group of idiots trying to kill the other."
"A lot of people died then, too," Miguel said with more sadness than anyone of such a young age should know.
"But some of us lived. And think about how it was. Every now and then someone would get out. Go to college. Buy a house in the good part of town. Live the dream. It happened."
"Not for us," Miguel said.
"No. Not then. But this time we're the ones who are the survivors, Miguel. We have another chance," said Carlos. "Alejandro is right. We shouldn't waste this. God saved us. You saw what happened. It was a miracle."
Miguel shook his head in disbelief. "So, what then? You want to start a refugee camp or something?"
"No. Not a refugee camp," said Alejandro. "I think we need to go find them and we need to make a new village. A new village with a new way of living. No more drugs! Every kid goes to school. Everybody works and everybody gets food and shelter and the things they need. No girls selling their bodies for food. No Mamas leaving their babies to make a border run. We're going to do it right. We're going to take care of each other!"
As he spoke, many of the lost ones drew away from him. dissipating as they had when Raziel had first shown them to me. A few of them, though, came closer and closer until they practically touched him.
"Don't you see? All the crap... the drug lords and the sweat shops, all of it.... It's gone. It was a bad way to go, man. It was...," he shuddered. The other two both stared into their coffee. "It was bad. But now it's gone and there is no one to tell us what we can't do. We can start a whole new life and we can leave behind everything that we hated. We can find a new way."
"I'm in," Carlos said. "I don't care how far we have to go. There's nothing here anyway. Let's go. You're right. There must be others who are trying to start over. We can help each other. We'll be stronger together."
The auras around the two men grew brighter until they were blazing, and the third man's watery color caught the energy of it and flickered to life. One of the lost ones came very close and then, with obvious deliberateness, slid into the stream of color. Instantly, the translucent gray shape began to take on the form of a man, not so different from the three who were talking. He was a man made of flickering light and energy but there was no doubt that he was a man. As his form took shape, he touched his own face with his hands and reached out toward one of the other soul who had come near. That one, too, began to mold itself into a human form and then the two of them, hand-in-hand, dissolved in a brilliant, arching rainbow of sparkling energy. They drew half a dozen others with them, each of them gaining color and form before dissipating.
Raziel drew back.
"I don't understand," I said as the vision left me.
"Those men embraced the Light. They loved one another. They allowed themselves to hope and have faith. They sought to serve their hurting neighbors, whom they'd not yet even met. The Light, reflected through them, drew those lost ones and they were able to remember. They recalled their own spark and they once more became beings in the image of That Which Is. As such, they were able to go to the realm which had been prepared for them from the beginning and find rest. Still others, being touched by the innate goodness of all this were drawn into the Light as well. Never underestimate the power of the will of man, Simone. And among your generation there is none more powerful than you, for That Which Is has chosen you and the spirit of power has come to dwell within you and be a part of you."
The tears continued to roll down my cheeks, a never ending stream, it seemed. "The Power is driving me mad," I whispered.
The angel took my hand again and I bridged Heaven and Earth once more. All that was good, and healing, and nourishing flowed from them both, through me, and back into them again. My tears dried. I was able to take a long, deep breath.
"You are very strong," he said to me, very softly.
"So you keep telling me," I said.
With a small smile he stood to leave for a moment, and returned with several others. Far more than I'd been expecting. The room was full of creatures of the realms and my head was spinning once again. Gaia sat on a stool next to me, never letting go of my hand. Freyja stood just behind my right shoulder, a powerful queen at home in her palace.
My mind struggled to make order of what I was seeing. I'd met plenty of "the creatures of legend and myth," as they were sometimes referred to. But those beings were physical in nature and they were, for the most part, earthbound. For all their strength and fantastic abilities they were flesh, just as I am flesh and they fit into a worldview I'd come to be familiar with. I may not like that trolls are real and that they were now dwelling under bridges and demanding tolls of people who wished to cross, but I understand them, more or less. They are ancient, but not immortal. They are other, but not otherworldly. They are like modified humans. The beings of the realms were something else entirely. Each of them had a form but few of them had a body. They were light, sound, energy, and emotion given substance. I had glimpsed them before from my world, looking through to theirs, but I had never been on their side of the veil. They were very quiet. Not only did they not speak, but they maintained control of their thoughts and emotions so as not to overwhelm me. Raziel sat next to me, in the chair at my right hand. I understood the significance of this. Raziel's home, the place he was created to be, was at the Right Hand of That Which Is. By sitting there next to me he was saying that he believed I was chosen and blessed as a true prophet, a representative That Which Is. The thought made me tremble and feel slightly ill. I was nothing if not ordinary; not especially clever or bright or talented in any way. Just... average. Who was I to sit in such a place? Even as that thought came to me I began to feel the hum of what I'd come to think of as "Prophet Power" start to pulse in my belly. It was not an overwhelming burst of energy, but a quiet filling up of my spirit. The strength spiraled outward, through my body and spirit and into my very limbs. I heard Gaia gasp quietly but she didn't let go of me. I understood the message I was to learn from this outpouring of strength.
Who was I? I was no one. Just a creature among billions. Yet I'd been created unique, as had each of these others. Each being was a rare treasure and a delight to The Creator. Each had their own set of skills and gifts, meant to be used to the benefit of all the others, and to the Glory of That Which Is. Raziel did not sit at my right hand because I was so extraordinary, but because he believed I was serving the One Who is.
He spoke, in a measured voice that was not too overwhelming to me.
"These beings have each expressed a desire to stand with you, as you stand against Acedia. Some have been close to you for far longer than you realize. Others have only recently become aware of the works of our enemy and they do not approve of his action against mankind and all of the realms. They wish to speak with you: to encourage you, pledge loyalty, and to question you. As beings of the Realms they do not communicate in the way to which you are accustomed. You must listen, not as a human, but in the way of your special gift. The veil acts as something of a mute, even for one of your ability. There is no veil here. You must tell us when you are ready."
The power was with me. I knew at such times I was able to deal with far more than I ever could on my own. "I am ready," I said.
The beings spoke to me in their way--not as individuals, but as a perfectly orchestrated group. Their words came to me as swirling eddies of intention. They all wove together in the manner of a masterfully crafted musical work. If I tried, I could pick out a single voice among them and make perfect sense of it but, taken as a whole, their message was complete and meant far more than the sum of its parts.
Each one there represented many of their own kind. They were worried and disapproving of what was happening. They loved mankind, or at least respected the place of the humans within the Plan and Design of That Which Is. They longed for a restoration of the perfect Light to all the realms, free from the murkiness caused by the interference of Acedia and his minions. They would stand with me in my realm or the others as they could and they would fight the darkness in whatever way I led them to do so.
Many of these creatures were warriors. There had been great battles in the Realms over the ages. They assured me that they would bring forth armies of legions upon my call. Finally, after each had had their say, Freyja spoke.
"My friends, you all know how I feel. I have stood as a leader of warriors in many of the battles of the realms. I have fought alongside man and I have loved the humans deeply. Acedia and others who share his feelings have wrought far too much damage. They must be stopped. Now may be the time to crush them."
At this there was an approving ripple of energy but, for the first time there was something unpleasant: a dissonance in the chord.
"On the other hand," Freyja continued, "Mankind has been fighting their wars for as long as they've had the skill to wield a weapon and ours have gone on much longer than that. I have to wonder if more war will bring us to something new and better."
The beings of the realms grew very still and silent. They'd all spoken their piece. They were waiting for my response. I was strong with the Power which possessed me, yet under that strength, I was aware of the tiny voice still arguing that I was not up to this task. I tried to silence her. No words came to me. No great speech or vast wisdom rolled off my tongue. I searched my heart and my mind, and I simply had no answer to their most pressing question: What do we do now? And so I gave the only answer I could.
"Thank you all. I can't tell you how much your loyalty and support mean to me. Search my heart and know that you are valued beyond measure. The time for us to act is near, but it is not today. We will move forward but, unless we move forward carefully stepping in the way of the Light, we may as well just let the others have their way. When the time is right I will tell you and we will stand together in the Light, magnifying the Light until no darkness can thrive." My vision swam. I lost my train of thought. My body and my mind seemed to be detaching from one another.
Gaia's firm voice rang out. "This woman must return to her own realm." She rose up, her considerable girth blocking most of the room from my sight.
I saw, for the first time, the process of Raziel intentionally willing matter to himself and taking on the form of the beautiful man I'd first seen him as. He lifted me from my chair as a father would carry a young child and, though my first instinct was to fight him and insist on walking on my own two feet, I found it was nice to be held and I allowed myself to be carried. The extraordinary crowd of creatures from many realms parted for us and the beings bowed their heads as we passed. They weren't bowing to me, the frail woman with countless shortcomings, but to the Power within me.
We moved quickly across the dreamscape meadow and back into the woods and, as the odd golden light softened into the sunlight of my own world exhaustion laid claim to me. Like a toddler, awake past her bedtime I lay my head on Raziel's shoulder and fell asleep.
I awoke in my own bed, with Freyja sitting in a chair next to me reading a steamy romance novel. She smiled at me and held the book up. "It doesn't paint a very realistic picture."
"A girl can dream," I answered.
My voice sounded like bald tires on crushed gravel and I couldn't remember ever needing the bathroom so urgently.
I rose on shaky legs that didn't seem to have quite gotten the message yet about being awake. Once I'd taken care of that business I came back and sat on the edge of the bed. Slowly the cobwebs that had been spun in my mind during a sleep filled with dreams of Gaia giving birth to the planet Earth and demons ripping it apart and eating it began to clear away. The dorm was empty except for us, but a curtain had been hung around my bed. I held out my hands to her, palms up, to show what I'd noticed in the bathroom. "So... I seem to be glowing."
"Yeah. There's that," she replied. I waited, patiently. The tactic wouldn't have worked on Raziel, but Freyja wasn't good with silence. Finally, she sighed. "So, you were out for kind of a long time. Most of two days," she said.
I waited again.
"See, time moves differently in the realms than it does here. A day isn't always a day. It's easy to lose track."
"Just tell me what I need to know. What's going on?" I asked
"When you crossed the realms you lost some time. You were there for three weeks."
For a moment I sat there, blinking stupidly at her. Then the words began to sink in. The world canted to an odd angle. My breath stuck in my chest, and then burst forth in an exclamation. "Three weeks! I was gone for three weeks? And asleep for two days?"
"Yes."
"Michael must be frantic! And the boys. Where is everyone?" I jumped up and she laid a gentle but firm hand on my arm, keeping me from running out of the room.
"They're fine. They're eating breakfast. Everyone is OK," she assured me.
"But..."
"There's the glowing thing."
I inspected my hands again. My skin was flawless. Not the slightest blemish or line shone. It was more alabaster than human flesh. "What about it?"
"It's the Power, the Light. It lingers in you and overwhelms the physical matter of your body. It has reached a level that is very uncomfortable to those who aren't used to it."