Within a day, Octavia's life has suddenly been divided in two; the time before Earth, and every moment that follows after her feet touch the ground for the first time.
Suddenly, walls don't exist anymore. She's boundless. She's alive. Fresh air fills her lungs and she swears she's never really breathed until now. Everything's new. She's been on sensory overload since they touched down and she doesn't see it stopping anytime soon.
The days pass in a blur. First, she swears she's dying when something sweeps her underwater and leaves her with three gashes running down her leg. But even that doesn't stop her. Bellamy (who somehow was on the dropship) struggles to keep his younger sister contained.
So, within the span of three days, she's gone swimming for the first time, gotten attacked by a sea monster, found a field full of butterflies, and kissed a cute boy.
Oh, and, to her absolute terror, found that same boy dead, his skin peeling off of his skeleton like ash from a fire. It's only then that the panic begins to set in. Because suddenly, they're not immune.
Tragedy seems to become a given, from then on out. Every day it's something new. First, it's members of the group disappearing and never coming back. Then, it's the acid fog that washes over the camp and leaves Octavia with a sour taste in the back of her throat that won't go away. She watches Murphy nearly die, and then days later, holds down the hatch of the dropship as Murphy tries to barge through and kill Jasper.
All in all, this isn't how she expected things to work out.
But on the fifth day, something appears in the sky like a sign from above. There's a streak of purple light that catches Octavia's attention. And in the wake of all the chaos, she and the rest of the delinquents watch as it grows larger and larger, spiraling overtop of them and making the ground shake when it crashes just a few miles outside of camp.
It's only then that Raven crosses her mind. She's felt like a new person from the moment they landed, and she'd been so busy exploring the ground that she hadn't even had a chance to turn her head upwards and look at the sky. More specifically, the small dot in the distance that Clarke had pointed out as the Ark. Everything that happened there is thousands miles away. Including Raven. Octavia wishes she had a way to give the girl a sign that she was alright – that she'd gotten her adventure. (Maybe not the one she had in mind, but it's an adventure nonetheless.)
Octavia immediately sets to gathering a search party for the vessel, but Bellamy refuses to let anyone leave camp until morning. But, when Octavia notices him slip out behind the dropship later that evening, she doesn't hesitate to follow him – lingering behind to keep her presence hidden.
After walking for god knows how long, Octavia, frustrated with her brother, breaks her silence and hurries forward to confront him in the clearing. And then things get a little more complicated, because now she's faced with the fact that Bellamy shot the chancellor for a spot on the dropship. And if anyone else gets down to Earth, he's as good as dead.
All she can do to avoid breaking down from all her pent up frustration is to storm away, leaving her brother to continue on his own, and her to fend for herself. Which she can do easily, right?
Maybe not.
She gets lost within a good hour of walking, trying to find her way back to the dropship and the other delinquents. It's as if she's been walking in circles this whole time. Everything looks the same. And she swears she's passed the same rock three times now. But she keeps pushing forwards, because she knows the dropship has to be just within her reach. It just has to.
Suddenly, she's filled with the overwhelming feeling that she's being watched. It causes her to pause, standing still in the middle of a clearing. She scans her surroundings carefully. But, she convinces herself she's hearing things, and picks up a faster pace. She's anxious to find her way home.
She hears it again. Footsteps. Or something of the sort. So once more, she freezes in place, and this time she distinctly hears someone (or something) quickly do the same, causing the leaves to rustle above her. Now, desperate to get away, she takes off in the first direction she sees, ducking through brush to try and ward off whatever's following her.
It's as if something's closing in on her. Maybe she's paranoid, or maybe she's actually being chased. Either way, she skids to a stop when she breaks through the trees and finds herself at the top of a steep hill. Running on adrenaline, she glances behind her once more before panicking. Moments later, her ankle gets caught on a rock, twisting her leg and sending her flying down the hill.
It's black as soon as her head hits the ground.
------
Raven's first encounter with Earth quickly goes downhill.
Under Abby's instruction, she's rehabilitated a small pod on the Ark. At first, Abby was supposed to go down by herself, but Raven coerced her way into tagging along. But when things took a turn, Raven faced the mission alone, sending herself hurdling towards Earth and praying with every cell in her body that she doesn't die a fiery death.
And then somehow, she's waking up to the pitter patter of something surrounding her. Her body aches, and she carefully reaches up to feel a gash on her forehead. But she's alive. And before she has a chance to do anything else, the door of the pod is opening and a blonde head of hair appears.
Before she knows it, her feet touch the ground and she can feel the light rain on her skin. It makes her reminiscent of the night on the Ark with Octavia, but her mind is quickly preoccupied when a familiar voice calls her name.
"Finn?"
And then she's running into his arms - filled with relief that he's still alive. And she kisses him. Because, well, Finn is her boyfriend. Kind of. He's just always been there. She's known him her whole life. It's easy to love him. It's safe.
But reunions are long forgotten as soon as Raven remembers the reason she's here. The radio. And when they realize it's gone, Raven, Clarke, and Finn are all pushing their way back through the woods in search of whoever's gotten to the pod before them.
It's only when Clarke mentions Octavia in casual conversation that Raven feels a jolt in her chest. Her eyes immediately turn to Finn, and the only thing she can do is push any feelings she has to the back of her mind. There are more important matters at hand.
------
Octavia's leg aches.
She doesn't know where she is. She awoke in some sort of cave, surrounded by primitive weapons and paintings of some sort. The dangers of Earth now seem too close for comfort.
But her wound has been cauterized, which confuses her. Whoever's trapped her here obviously went to great lengths to keep her alive. This only scares her even more. And so, with gritted teeth, she forces her way up to her feet and manages to escape, moving aside a collection of boulders and crawling her way to the surface.
Freedom doesn't last long, though. Not short after her grand escape, she's grabbed again. A hand is cupped tightly over her mouth and holds her to watch, wide eyed in fear, as a spear collides with Roma's chest – right where she would have been standing, if she hadn't been stopped.
And that's how she grows to trust the man who's saved her life. Only for a moment, though. Because suddenly, she's being taken right back to where she started – now with her hands chained together in the same cave she awoke in. No matter how much she begs for him to let her go, she can only watch as he ties the opposite end of the chain to the wall and disappears. Frustrated, tired, and scared for her life, Octavia can't fight back tears any longer.
But she doesn't give up. That's not how Octavia works. And that's how she ends up smashing a rock against the man's skull when he reappears, and in a whirlwind of events, her brother, along with Finn and Jasper, manage to find her and free her – but not before the grounder is able to grab hold of his dagger and lunge at Finn, burying the blade deep in his side.
------
Octavia first runs into Raven during all the commotion upon her return.
As soon as they arrive back at camp, Finn is hurried into the dropship. Clarke immediately sends Octavia out to find Monty and grab whatever sort of disinfectant she can find. But not before she manages to get into a screaming match with her brother. And as she storms away, she's left with his words echoing in her head.
"Mom was floating for having you. She's dead because you're alive... I didn't have a choice. My life ended the day you were born."
All she can do is hurry to wipe the tears from her eyes and set out to find Monty. By the time she makes her way back to the dropship with two containers of moonshine in hand, it's pouring rain outside. Tensions have reached an all time high.
As Octavia begins dousing the medical supplies in their homemade disinfectant, someone else pushes their way through the crowd of people in the dropship.
"One stitching needle."
The familiar voice snaps Octavia's head upwards, where she finds Raven standing only a few feet away. She's confused, but also relieved. They don't have time for questions or happy reunions, though. Clarke mentions her need for something to close the wound. Octavia speaks up, mostly because she wants Raven to notice her.
"There's some wire on the second level," she nods upwards, drawing the attention of both of the girls. "I used it for the tents."
Raven stills, her eyes trained straight on Octavia. But there's too much commotion to catch up with one another. Finn is hurt, and Clarke sends Octavia upstairs to try and gather the wire.
"Stay away from the blue wires that run through the ceiling," Raven snaps out of her daze and scrambles to call after Octavia, who pauses and turns around slowly. "I rigged them to the solar cells in the roof. That means they're hot, you got that?"
"Yeah," Octavia nods quickly. "I've got it."
As she hurries to climb the ladder onto the second level, she's reminiscent of the times she'd worked with Raven before. In that moment, her future and her past seem to collide for the first time. And even though she's left with millions of questions about Raven's appearance, she's also focused on the task at hand -- keeping Finn alive.
Before she can grab the wire, though, Bellamy reappears with the grounder in tow. She sees the change in her brother's eyes when he refuses to listen to Clarke and commands for the grounder to be taken upstairs. Octavia is one of the first to follow.
She sees a side of these people that she's never seen before as they tie the grounder up. The same grounder who Octavia is convinced could have let her die -- but he didn't. She desperately tries to get that across to her brother. But the minute she grabs his arm to try and press her point, Bellamy looks to Miller and Octavia is forced out of the upper level. Reluctantly, she has no choice but to take her place with the rest of the delinquents on the bottom floor, separate from Clarke and Raven.
She can hear them, though. Her curiosity is sparked and she turns to Monty. "Why is Raven in there?" She asks, struggling to keep her voice from wavering.
"She's got control over the radio," he shrugs. "Plus it's Finn."
"Finn?" Octavia tilts her head to the side.
"But I thought Clarke and Finn were a thing?" Someone else speaks up. Monroe. Octavia looks back and forth between the two delinquents, confused.
"Apparently so are Finn and Raven," Monty shrugs. Octavia's heart plummets.
"You're serious?" She asks, trying to appear as impartial as she can. Monroe nods, and soon the conversation moves on to something else. Octavia, however, tunes herself out and pulls her knees up to her chest. She feels sick.
She doesn't have much time to wallow in her questions before Clarke is bursting out of the medical room, holding up the dagger with one hand. A few people start to cheer, but the noise fades when they see the distraught look on her face. She starts climbing upwards, and Octavia's immediately on her feet behind the girl.
Confused, Octavia scrambles up the ladder just in time to find Clarke face to face with the grounder, holding up the dagger between them. She's screaming, something about the blade being poisoned and Finn dying.
Soon enough, Clarke and Octavia are begging the grounder to show them the antidote. His eyes stay on Octavia longer, and she does her best to quietly reassure him that it's okay. But when Bellamy grabs a seatbelt from the wall, Octavia's pulled back by Miller before she can try to stop him.
All she can do is watch as Bellamy lashes the belt against the grounder, making him wither in pain. Even Clarke can't stand to watch it anymore, because after three strikes she desperately tries to get the antidote from him again.
"Just tell them," Octavia begs, taking a step forwards. Miller puts out an arm to stop her and she glares at him, her hands curling into fists. This isn't who they are, and she knows that.
Not soon after, before Octavia can even realize what's going on, Bellamy is literally driving a nail through the grounder's hand. It's only then that Octavia has to turn away, feeling her stomach flip. She squeezes her eyes shut.
And then, to make matters worse, someone else scrambles up into the room. Raven.
"What's taking so long?" Her voice is desperate. Upon seeing her, Octavia sinks further back into the corner of the room.
"He won't tell us anything," Clarke's distraught. Raven, however, has other plans. Octavia watches the girl's shoulders stiffen as her eyes scan the room, landing on the collection of wires she had specifically warned Octavia not to touch. Immediately, a cold chill runs down the girl's spine.
"Wanna bet?" Raven's voice is emotionless, and Bellamy doesn't even have time to stop the girl before she's ripping the wires from the wall and teasing a spark between them. The lights dim as soon as Raven jabs them into his side, and Octavia's hand instantly flies up to cover her mouth. Not only can she hear the pain in the grounder's cries, but she can also see the desperation in Raven's eyes.
"Which one is it?" Raven's voice is low and gravely. Silently, Octavia prays for this all to be over. She feels sick. Never in her life has she seen this side of humankind, and part of her wishes she could just retreat back to her cell on the Ark, if only for a moment.
The grounder barely has a chance to recover from the first shock before Raven is at it again. Caught between his cries of pain and Raven's desperate begging, Octavia's eyes begin searching the room. When she notices the dagger lying by the hatch, she doesn't hesitate.
(Meanwhile, Raven is screaming at the grounder. Her words -- "He's all I have," -- make Octavia's eyes burn.)
"No more!" Octavia pushes herself forwards, finally alerting Raven of her presence -- who's been too distracted to even notice Octavia in the back of the room.
"He's letting Finn die!" Raven whips her head around and doesn't hesitate to snap at the girl. Filled with anger, all Octavia can do is shake her head before pressing the tip of the dagger at the middle of her arm and dragging it down to her wrist. Pain sears through her body, but it's the last thing on her mind.
(The wires quickly fall from Raven's hands.)
"He won't let me die," Octavia whispers, noting how the grounder tugs against his restraints the moment she brings the dagger to her arm.
She pulls away from her brother and drops to her knees in front of the grounder, her shaky hands spreading out the small glass vials and looking at him hopefully. "This one?" She looks at him desperately, tapping the dagger against the metal floor.
Eventually, the slightest of nods from the grounder sends Octavia shoving the antidote into Clarke's hands and quickly moving to wrap something around the cut. It's only then that she really feels the pain, and she yanks away from Bellamy -- who had the nerve to try and comfort her.
Raven's already out of the room before Octavia even has a chance to stand up. But when she sees the grounder's eyes, looking concerned, she suddenly realizes that she's got someone else. Someone who just saved her life for the second time in a row.
------
Even though Octavia's still hurt from the whole Finn situation, the first thing she does after she's able to clean up her arm is hurry off to find the girl. Something in her is still hoping for the reunion she'd imagined.
But, after quietly climbing down the ladder, she freezes when she sees that Finn's awake. Staying hidden, she watches as Raven hurries over to him. She sees the relieved smile on Raven's face when she realizes Finn's alive. And her eyes well with tears when she can just make out the words "I thought I lost you," fall from the girl's lips.
(Clarke's watching them longingly, too. But for different reasons.)
So now, giving up all hope of a happy reunion, Octavia hurries her way back upstairs and distracts herself by being the one to tend to the grounder's wounds. Even Clarke is surprised when he actually doesn't fight Octavia, who carefully presses the rag to his hands to try and stop the bleeding. It makes Octavia feel a little bit better to have someone who trusts her. Clarke tries to console her, but by now, Octavia has given up all hope of ever connecting with the people here. She'll have nightmares about what happened that afternoon for days to come.
(When they're left alone, Octavia discovers his name is Lincoln, and a spark of hope ignites in her chest.)
------
Octavia gets her reunion. Maybe not the one she was hoping for, but it's a reunion nonetheless.
She's snuck up to see the grounder -- Lincoln -- for a second time, bringing him water and cleaning around the gashes on his hands once again. She presses him for information, becoming increasingly more empathetic for the man they've been keeping prisoner. But eventually, Miller finds her, and she's left to storm out of the room, frustrated with the extremes the other delinquents have gone to. More and more, she's being filled with the nagging notion that she doesn't fit in here. With them.
With this in mind, she trudges out of the dropship, her fingers idly playing with the rag in her hands. She yanks aside the opening of one of the tents, ducking into the small shelter. When she stands up, though, her eyes find Raven standing over one of the buckets of water. Octavia hesitates for a moment, thrown off by the unexpected change of events.
She pushes her hesitation aside, though, and tugs up her sleeves as Raven sends the slightest of glances in her direction. Staying silent and keeping her eyes trained downwards, Octavia dunks her rag into the dome-shaped container of water.
It's quiet for a few moments and Octavia struggles to bite her tongue. She's not even going to say a word, she decides. She won't give Raven that pleasure.
"I'd hate to see the other guy," Raven breaks the silence, noting the various cuts covering Octavia's body, and the crimson red trail that her rag leaves behind in the water. Octavia can't keep quiet for any longer. In fact, she doesn't hesitate to snap back at the girl.
"You did," her voice is sharp. "When you were torturing him." It takes all of her strength to keep her eyes down, and off of Raven.
There's a pause. Raven takes her time to process Octavia's words, but replies in a curt, monotone voice that reminds Octavia all-too-much of Nigel.
"Finn was dying," Raven's chin tilts upwards slightly and Octavia's jaw clenches. "I'm not going to apologize for doing what I had to do."
Hurt, Octavia gives up on trying to maintain any sort of silence. She pauses for a moment, the void in her ribcage growing larger. "It must suck," she speaks up, her voice cold. "...To come all the way down here to find out your boyfriend is into somebody else."
(Raven can practically taste the venom laced in Octavia's words.)
She regrets speaking as soon as those words leave her mouth, but there's no way she's taking them back now. Almost instantly, she can feel Raven's energy stiffen beside her, and the dark haired girl is quick to crank off the pipe that's been supplying them water.
"I'm not doing this with you," Raven deadpans, though her voice seems softer, more vulnerable. And then she's gone, leaving Octavia alone to scrub the blood from her hands. Equal parts hurt and enraged, Octavia lets the rag fall into the bucket.
"He's all I have," she mutters to herself, imitating Raven's words from yesterday before storming back out of the tent.
------
Raven sleeps with Finn.
She does it partly because she knows about Clarke, and she's desperate for some sort of physical affirmation from Finn... some kind of reassurance. But she does it mostly because of Octavia. Somehow she's worked it out as some sort of revenge, and maybe if she sleeps with Finn, she'll feel something greater, and Octavia will be long forgotten. But maybe she just does it because she's vulnerable. And lonely. And he's been there from the start. It's safe.
No matter what the reason, she ends up bursting into his tent and climbing on top of him before he even has time to process what she's doing. She grows frustrated when he keeps trying to separate them, insisting his has to tell her something. Raven ignores it.
"Something happened," he blurts out breathlessly, managing to get his hands on Raven's shoulders and pull her away for a moment. His eyes hold onto hers, waiting for a reaction.
"Finn," she's quick to interrupt him before he can say anything else that she doesn't want to hear. Maybe if she just avoids the truth, it will disappear completely. "I know and I don't want to talk about it."
(She'd be fine with not discussing the fact that Finn's into someone else. Maybe because, possibly, she's into someone else too.)
"Ever," she adds, her facade quickly fading.
And then she asks him if he loves her, because she's craving that affirmation. If she has someone who loves her, it will all be okay. So when he replies with a quiet "always," it's more than enough for her.
Although, to her dismay, she still finds herself feeling empty afterwards. Maybe even more than before.
------
The day turns into chaos before either of the girls have a chance to try and make things right.
Octavia finds herself surrounded by a pack of babbling idiots -- thanks to some type of berry they'd scavenged that nurtured a hallucinogenic high for those who ingested it. She first has to comfort a terrified Jasper when he screams, swearing he's seen a grounder. It's then that the tiny spark of an idea forms in her head -- and once she's managed to calm him down, she's clambering up the ladder to find Lincoln.
She explains her plan to him, bringing him a clean change of clothes. She can usher him out unnoticed in all of this commotion.
Something else happens, though. Just as they're about to go down the ladder, he kisses her. And she feels something. And she kisses back. And once he's gone, disappearing into the woods, it's only then that Octavia thinks of Raven.
That night, once the high has worn off from the crowd and the chaos has died down, Clarke and Bellamy return toting a collection of guns. When the drop their packs to the ground and the weapons spill out, Octavia feels sick. Everything they've become is everything she despises. She remains quiet, slipping away the first chance she gets.
Later that night, on the way back to her tent, Raven spots a figure leant up against the fence, wrapped in one of the orange blankets from the dropship. She pauses. Octavia.
Raven's in an alright mood, considering she feels a bit safer now that they've found guns to defend themselves. She won't admit it to anyone, but the prospect of being hunted by a group of primitive Earth warriors doesn't sit too well with her. She's still young. She's scared.
She's immediately reminded of Octavia's comments from earlier that day. And although she should be mad, she finds herself feeling guilty. Guilty because she knows what Octavia thinks about her. It's not that she meant to keep Finn a secret. She just... it never came up in conversation. And then when Octavia kissed her, it was too late.
Running on blind courage, Raven glances toward her tent one last time before changing her path and jogging over to the girl. She slowly leans against the other side of the fence opening. Octavia doesn't acknowledge her presence.
"Nice jacket," Raven blurts out the first thing she can think of. And although Octavia is dead-set on keeping her silence, Raven notices how the girl's eyes look down to and her hands rub her sleeve between her fingers, still wearing the dark blue jacket Raven had laid across her shoulders on the Ark.
Stubbornly, Octavia clenches her jaw and continues staring out into the wilderness.
Sighing, Raven racks her brain for something else to spur conversation. She's making an effort to engage the girl -- something she normally doesn't do. Usually, Raven's the one to hold grudges. But she's met her match with Octavia.
"Aren't you gonna ask me how I managed to get down here?" Raven speaks up once more. She looks at Octavia hopefully, but the girl doesn't even flinch. But just as Raven is about to give up and retreat, Octavia breaks her silence.
"Don't you have someone you'd rather be with?" Her voice is low, and she doesn't even move to look at Raven -- staring straight ahead as if she's talking to the forest. It's more of a statement than a question, her way of dismissing Raven from trying to repair things between them.
"I--," Raven opens her mouth to speak but slowly purses her lips back together, effectively silenced by the girl. She's not sure there's much more for her to say. Giving up, she just nods once to show her defeat. Raven takes a step backwards.
"I'm ready to talk when you are," she adds quietly. She can just make out the slightest tilt of Octavia's head upwards, and takes that as enough of an answer. Octavia's left by herself once again as Raven disappears back into camp.
(When Raven returns to her tent, she finds Clarke has already gotten to Finn before she could. Even though the two weren't doing anything, the look they give Raven when she wanders in is as if they'd just been caught doing something they shouldn't have been. It haunts Raven for the rest of the night.)
(Along with the idea that she's effectively failed Octavia.)
------
For the next few days, Raven spends her time checking the gunpowder in their rounds. They're preparing for some sort of attack, which they've deemed inevitable. Plus, she needs something to keep her mind busy.
Octavia, in the meantime, has taken up a disappearing act. Part of Raven wonders if she's actively avoiding her.
Avoiding may be a strong word. For Octavia, she sneaks out of camp and meets with Lincoln to try and deny Raven's existence altogether. It's not avoidance. It's more like denial.
Though, she really does like Lincoln. He doesn't treat her like a kid, and through him, she's learned all about the world he's from. His culture fascinates her, and she often spends her time in his cave, paging through his book of sketches from the lands he's traveled. Through him, her knowledge of the ground slowly expands.
He even teaches her how to fight. At first, she doesn't want to learn. But he insists that she needs to know how to protect herself. And she can't argue with that, after all she's seen on her time on the ground. So he places an old dagger in her hands and they practice sparring.
She even manages to sneak up on him. He always teased her about her "heavy feet," but she's able to slip out of camp one day, and remain as quiet as a mouse as she crawls into the cave and moves up behind him.
When he realizes it's her, she lets her defenses fall and tosses the dagger aside. And then he's kissing her. And then things follow. And the entire time, Raven doesn't cross Octavia's mind once.
But, when her and Lincoln emerge from the cave to find Finn searching for them, Octavia still feels that pang of anger toward the boy who crushed her spirits. There's no time for jealousy, though, because Finn presents them with a master plan -- one so crazy that it might actually work -- seeking peace with the grounders.
------
The following morning, at the break of dawn, Octavia leads Finn and Clarke to the bridge that Lincoln instructed them to gather at. In an attempt to keep the delinquents safe, they've arranged some sort of meeting with the grounder's leader. Octavia is hesitant to try and bring these two worlds together, but Lincoln convinces her that it's worth a try.
She holds out her hand to slow Finn and Clarke down, peering through the brush in front of them. The bridge is empty. They're the first to arrive. Slowly, she nods for them to follow her out in the open.
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Finn and Octavia, Clarke has been leaving a trail for Bellamy and a few others to follow. Although the original deal had been no weapons, Bellamy insisted on bringing backup. Just in case.
That's how Raven ended up squished between Jasper and Bellamy, ducked down at the bottom of the bridge, and peering up through the scope of her gun. She'll deny it if asked, but when she realized Octavia was going, she forced Bellamy to bring her along. Just in case.
So, Raven sees Octavia tug Clarke and Finn to the opening of the bridge. She sees them jump at a rustling in the bushes. She sees someone emerge, and when Octavia suddenly runs to jump into his arms, Raven comes to realize a few things.
"I guess we know how he got away," she notes, her grip on the gun tightening.
Finn grabbing Clarke's hand is just the icing on the cake, and Bellamy has to physically push Raven's gun down to stop her from firing a few warning shots toward them.
When the grounders arrive, Raven's too focused on Octavia to notice the fact that they're being watched. Jasper is the one to spot a grounder in the trees above them, with his bow pointed straight at where Clarke and the fur-clad grounder woman stand.
Everything happens so quickly after that. There's gunfire from all sides, and a bow whizzes past Raven, narrowly missing her and Jasper. She's too busy firing rounds up into the trees to think to retreat, and eventually Bellamy has to drag her back into the dense woods. She tugs out of his grip.
"Your sister's up there!" is the first thing she thinks to yell, challenging Bellamy -- who is trying to get out of there as fast as he can. Raven's gripping her gun so tightly that her knuckles are turning white.
Jasper has to assure the girl over and over that he saw Octavia and Finn disappear back into the woods before she'll move any further. But not before Raven, bitter, can fire two more warning shots in the direction of the bridge.
Both groups meet up just before they make it back to camp, and Raven can't help but be relieved that Octavia isn't injured. Jasper, Bellamy, Clarke, Finn, Raven, and Octavia all skid to a stop just outside the dropship, and suddenly everyone is fighting with one another. But amidst the chaos, Raven manages to meet Octavia's eyes, sending her a silent question. And to her surprise, Octavia just gives her the slightest of nods back. She's not hurt. That's the first time they've had any sort of communication in days.
Before Raven has a chance to do anything else, though, Octavia speaks up.
"You ruined everything," she snaps, glaring at Jasper, who'd shot the first shot and caused the chaos to break out. And then she's gone, storming off and disappearing through the gates of the camp.
(Raven's just glad she's okay.)
------
Retaliation soon follows, but not how anyone expected.
Murphy reappears. Octavia's one of the first to find him, covered in blood, half-dead outside their camp. It's not hard to tell what's happened to him, and Clarke concludes this when she sees how his fingernails were torn off. Grounders.
Bellamy wants to kill him on the spot -- he even goes as far as pointing a gun to him. But Clarke stops him, insisting that they nurse Murphy back to health in order to figure out what he knows. The more they know their enemy, the better, she explains.
But then, something spreads through the camp like wildfire. Whatever the grounders did to Murphy suddenly reigns terror over the rest of the hundred. Biological warfare. Sickness runs rampant, leaving a bloody trail in its wake.
Octavia only hears about this when Bellamy bursts into her tent, distraught. At first she's annoyed when he questions her about finding Murphy, and then she's being dragged to the dropship, filled to the brim with half-dead, zombie-like patients. It makes Octavia shiver, seeing these people so weak.
Clarke, holding a cloth over her mouth, uses a flashlight to check Octavia's eyes and ears. She's not sick, yet, but Clarke insists on keeping her in the dropship to try and prevent the disease from spreading any more than it already has. Octavia, annoyed that she's chained down, starts to make her way upstairs. But as soon as Bellamy's gone, Clarke's recruiting the help of the green-eyed girl, sending her to go see Lincoln and recover some sort of antidote.
Octavia hurries off. She's starting to feel like she actually has a purpose here, something she hasn't felt before. However, when she hurries into Lincoln's cave, breathlessly trying to explain what's happened, she quickly becomes aware of how he's subtly checking her for signs of illness. He knew.
Before she can even process what's happened, Lincoln is explaining to her how he's leaving -- his people don't trust him. (It's because of her, Octavia realizes. She feels more guilty than ever.) And then, Lincoln proposes that she come with him. In a drastic change of events, Octavia discovers that the grounders have planned an attack against the delinquents.
And without thinking, Octavia agrees to leave with Lincoln before the attack. (When offered an alternative to death, what is she supposed to do?) But not before she returns back to camp to warn her people of what's to come.
And when she reappears, pushing her way through the crowd of teenagers to announce what she's discovered -- an attack at first light -- she notices Raven's face among them, and is immediately regretful of the promise she'd made to Lincoln.
------
Finn didn't hesitate.
The minute Raven notices that Clarke is sick, she also notices how Finn is only steps away from her. It's as if he's waiting for her to fall so he can be the one to catch her. And fall she does -- right into Finn's arms. Raven's jaw clenches.
She doesn't have time to process this, though, because soon Octavia is returning with a warning that makes everyone's blood runs cold. Raven stands frozen, letting Octavia's words sink in while she watches the younger girl hurry to help Finn and Clarke back into the dropship. Something shifts in her in that moment. A cold air blows over the camp.
------
Raven's the one who proposes the idea for a bomb.
If they can dismantle the bridge, they can slow down the impending grounder attack. It's not a perfect solution, but it's about the only one they've got. And so she's cooped up in her tent, solely building the weapon of mass destruction that could determine their fate for good. (No pressure.)
Once the bomb is finished, she calls in Finn and Bellamy to demonstrate how to assemble it. However, when Finn volunteers to risk his life by planting the bomb, Raven's concern grows. But then Bellamy shows signs of illness, and in that moment -- Raven makes a silent decision.
Octavia's busy working in the dropship, tending the the sick delinquents, when Bellamy is brought into the room. Immediately, she's filled with fear. She's already seen this disease take the lives of some of the other kids. If she loses her brother... Octavia shakes her head and hurries over to him. His skin is burning hot, and she makes him a teary promise that nothing bad will happen to him. Fiercely loyal, she remains glued to his side once he falls asleep.
It's only when they run out of water that Octavia is forced to leave the dropship to gather more. But the moment she pushes aside the tarp, someone catches her attention.
Raven's eyes widen when they meet Octavia's, and without thinking, she ushers the girl over. Surprisingly, Octavia doesn't hesitate to jog over the girl -- even though she was set on keeping her silence, something about the panic she senses in Raven is enough to push that aside.
"What's going on?" Octavia asks breathlessly, noticing the heavy backpack Raven is carrying. All Raven can do is shake her head, before grabbing Octavia's arm and pulling her into one of the large tents.
"I know that look," Octavia speaks up again, beginning to panic. Her eyes scan Raven's face worriedly. "That's the look you get on your face when you're about to do something stupid."
"Don't ask questions," Raven shakes her head. "Listen, I--I need you to cover for me."
"But--," Octavia begins, but her words disappear the moment Raven reaches out and grabs her hand.
"Octavia," the brown eyed girl looks at her, silently begging her with her eyes. "Please."
And because the fact that Raven's holding her hand has turned her entire face bright red, all Octavia can do is nod, flustered. And with that, Raven's gone without another word.
------
Things start to blur together after that. All Octavia knows is that she's about to do something, something stupid, that could possibly cost her her life. But for her, it's the right thing to do. It's the only thing to do.
And as she quietly slips back into Lincoln's cave and breaks the news to him -- that she's not going, she can't leave her people -- she's saying a silent prayer that Raven will be alright. Although it hurts to leave Lincoln, someone she really does care about, it feels like the right thing to do. Octavia isn't the kind of person to give up and run away. (She may give you the silent treatment for a few days, but that doesn't count as giving up.)
She gently hands Lincoln his sketchbook back, and plants a shaky kiss to his cheek. She can't meet his eyes again after that, and she's gone before he can try and convince her otherwise -- effectively ending whatever relationship they had.
With tears in her eyes, Octavia hurries back to the camp. But before she can make it there, there's an explosion that shakes the ground, and nearly sends her falling back off of her feet. Immediately, her mind turns to Raven. A new type of fear washes over her, and as the smoke begins to billow up from the horizon, Octavia breaks into a sprint in the direction of camp.
She arrives back to find everyone with their eyes trained on the sky, watching the aftermath of the explosion. It makes Octavia sick. It's as if they're proud of what they've done. Sure, it's something they had to do to survive, she understands that. But there's no pride in what they've done. None at all.
Octavia paces nervously for a while, until finally someone calls out "they're back!" and Jasper and Monty push their way through the gates. Octavia offers Jasper a sad smile, but he's too busy celebrating whatever kind of victory he thinks he's won to notice.
However, her smile fades when she sees someone else stumble into camp. Raven. Finn's holding her up, otherwise she wouldn't be standing. Her face is drained of color and Octavia is effectively frozen in place. All she can do is watch Clarke and Finn carry the girl into the dropship, as fear washes over her in waves.
Long after the crowd has dispersed, she's left standing there, staring at the dropship nervously and rubbing the material of her jacket between her fingers.
------
Octavia's not sure how long she's been sitting here. Ever since Raven returned to camp in Finn's arms, Octavia's been waiting, curled up in a ball outside the dropship. It's been a few hours by the time Finn reemerges, and Octavia's nearly dozed off. But, when she hears the rustling of the tarp being opened, her head shoots up -- and as soon as Finn's out of sight, she's scrambling to her feet and hurrying into the dropship.
She immediately notices Murphy -- now healed and helping the other delinquents -- wringing out a rag by the door. When he stands up, he's face to face with Octavia, who takes the rag from his hands and gives him a soft nod. "I've got it from here."
"Whatever you say," Murphy raises his hands as if he's surrendering, and waltzes out of the dropship. Octavia's left alone. Calming herself down by taking a deep breath, she squeezes the rag with both hands and looks around the room slowly. Immediately, she finds Raven among the other sleeping patients, in a hammock suspended between a few beams in the dropship.
Octavia makes her way over quietly, as to not wake anyone. For a few moments, she just stands near Raven's hammock, studying the sleeping girl. She's pale. Her face is an ashen grey color and it makes Octavia's skin crawl. In that moment, she hates Lincoln for letting this happen.
She's hesitant at first, hovering the rag above Raven's forehead, as if she could break the girl by touching her. Just as she presses the damp rag against Raven's hot skin, brown eyes flutter open. Octavia recoils as if she's just been burned.
"O?" Raven blinks a few times. Her voice is weak and the sound of it makes Octavia worry.
"I-I was just..." Octavia tries to explain herself, holding up the rag in her hands. Raven just nods half-heartedly, slumping back in the hammock. When Octavia just remains frozen in place, Raven looks at her questioningly.
"Uh... here," Octavia clears her throat and abandons the rag, hurrying across the room to retrieve one of the tin cans they'd been using for water. With shaky hands, she returns to Raven's side, who allows Octavia to help her sit up slightly. Holding the girl's chin, Octavia guides her to take a drink from the cup. Her hands won't stop shaking. Octavia kicks herself for being scared to simply touch the girl.
"I ended things with Finn," Raven blurts out suddenly as Octavia's turned around, rinsing out the tin cup. She freezes, letting Raven's words circle her mind over and over. Octavia's confused as to how she's supposed to feel. All she can do is tuck that information away in the back of her mind, but remain silent.
Octavia busies herself by moving around the room to collect the dirty towels and rags from that day. She knows Raven is waiting for her to say something, but she just can't. Eventually, though, she tries to change the subject.
"I wouldn't have covered for you if I knew you were going on a suicide mission," she says quietly, her back turned to Raven as she hangs up the old towels on the rungs of the ladder. She pauses, listening when she hears Raven adjust her position in the hammock.
"Yeah, well it worked, didn't it?"
Octavia, still with her back turned, just nods softly. She can't bring herself to meet Raven's eyes again -- her hands have just stopped shaking. So she keeps herself busy, floating around the room and tidying things up. The entire time, she swears she can feel Raven's eyes on her.
Some time passes, leaving a void of empty silence between them. Eventually, Octavia fights the lump in her throat. "I'm ready to talk--," she starts, but swallows her words the minute she turns around and her eyes land on Raven, fast asleep. Her heart drops.
"Maybe later," she whispers under her breath, sighing as she takes up her position against the wall, keeping watch over the dropship for the remainder of the night. She figures the least she can do is keep Raven safe, even if it goes unnoticed.
------
A few days pass. Octavia's slunk back into the shadows, keeping quiet and observing everyone from a distance. The attack is just days away now -- they're all living on the verge of insanity. Bellamy's nearly lost it, yelling at anyone who slacks off for even a moment. Octavia does her best to stay out of his way.
Raven's almost made a full recovery from the sickness that nearly could've taken her life. After the night in the dropship, Octavia took up her post outside the building, trying to avoid the awkward conversation that would ensue if Raven knew she was practically standing guard over her.
However, after getting little to no sleep last night, Octavia's made a decision.
For most of the day, she's partnered up with Monty and Jasper, setting up traps around the camp. Earlier that morning, the smokehouse had burnt down, nearly collapsing on Octavia and Murphy. All their meat was inedible -- burnt to a crisp. So now, their main priority has to be food. Because if they don't eat, they can't fight. Clarke, Finn, and a few of the other delinquents have taken the guns and spread out in the woods in hopes of finding something salvageable.
But, as the horizon starts to darken, Octavia slips away from the rest of the group. She stands outside Raven's tent, shaking out her hands nervously before peeking in.
"Raven?"
The dark haired girl turns around quickly, scanning Octavia and sending her a questioning look. "Hm?"
"Do you wanna maybe... meet me on the roof of the dropship, in like ten minutes?" She proposes hopefully, wringing her hands together. Raven, confused, studies Octavia for a few moments.
"Yeah, sure?" Raven nods slowly. "Is something--?" She starts to question the girl, but as soon as Octavia's gotten an answer, she takes off, leaving a confused Raven in her wake.
Nonetheless, when ten minutes pass, Raven finds herself climbing up the ladder on the side of the dropship and pulling herself up onto the roof. Octavia's already there, sitting on the edge with her legs draped over the side. It's almost as if they're in a room of their own -- up there on the roof. The top of the dropship is surrounded by trees, making it impossible for anyone to see it from the ground. However, standing at the top of the dropship and looking down, Raven can make out every inch of their camp. She clears her throat to try and catch Octavia's attention.
Startled, Octavia looks around to find Raven standing a few feet behind her. It's dark, and she just nods softly, scooting over to make room for the girl beside her. Raven's still unsure of why she's here, but she sits down slowly.
"I figured now's as good a time to talk as any," Octavia says quietly, sitting cross legged on the edge of the roof. "I've been... kind of... avoiding it for a while."
"Tell me something I don't know," Raven laughs, somewhat bitterly. It's suddenly set in why Octavia's brought her here. To be honest, she's been avoiding it just as much as Octavia has.
Octavia just clears her throat awkwardly, picking at a patch of dried paint on the roof. Neither of them knows what to say.
Eventually, Raven leans back on her hands and sighs softly. "I'm sorry," she mutters, almost inaudible. Octavia's head picks up and she looks at Raven, not saying anything, but her eyes are begging for some sort of explanation.
"It's not that..." Raven jumps to defend herself, but catches her words before they leave her mouth. She's not sure how she's going to explain this to Octavia. "I didn't intent to..."
"To lead me on?" Octavia grows frustrated and finishes the girl's sentence for her. "You didn't mean to make me think something was going on between us and then--,"
"When did I ever do that?" Raven sits up slightly, feeling the need to defend herself. "When did I ever make you think something was going on?"
"You--," Octavia pauses. Something in her recoils then. Because she's overanalyzed this. Maybe she was so wrapped up in the idea of Raven that she's misinterpreted these signs for something more than what they were. She quickly looks away. "You never even mentioned him."
"I didn't feel the need to," Raven's voice softens slightly. "He never came up in conversation."
"But you should have known!" Octavia turns to face her, feeling something build up in her chest. "You knew that I--," she trails off, shaking her head and looking away. "You should've known."
"I didn't want to push you away," Raven confesses. "I liked having your company. I thought if I--,"
"Even after we kissed!" Octavia doesn't even think before she interrupts Raven. She sees the girl's eyes widen at the mention of their kiss -- something they'd never talked about directly. It's too late for her to take her words back. "You never said a word about him, Raven! You knew!"
It's at this point that Raven grows defensive in order to save herself, and she quickly shakes her head. "Oh no, don't you dare turn this on me," she sits up straighter, her voice growing colder. Octavia fights the urge to recoil. "Last time I checked, you were the one who kissed me, Octavia," she stares the girl down. "This was all you, this entire time, it's just been you."
Immediately, Raven regrets the words that spill out of her mouth when she sees Octavia's entire disposition shift, as if Raven's words were a bullet that pierced straight through her. She sees the physical change in Octavia, how her shoulders fall and her mouth opens slightly, as if she wants to say something, but she's left speechless.
"Octavia, I--," Raven starts, holding a hand out to try and apologize. But Octavia's eyes have already welled with tears, and she thrashes out of Raven's reach. All Raven can do is watch as the younger girl scrambles to her feet and storms off, leaving her alone to ruminate in the words that she's just fired -- words that were nowhere near the truth -- but words that she knows Octavia will repeat to herself over and over.
Raven feels sick.
------
Raven's on edge for the rest of the night.
The littlest things have been setting her off. She's already snapped at a handful of delinquents for putting too much wood in the fire. And now, a comment from Murphy sends her off the deep end -- and she feels this need, this urge to do something. So when she goes searching for Octavia and finds Bellamy instead, it all happens so fast that she barely has time to realize what she's doing.
And that's how she ends up sleeping with Bellamy -- something she regrets as soon as it happens. To make matters worse, Bellamy won't stop questioning her. He knows something's wrong. And as she's getting dressed, making her way out of the tent, she doesn't bother lying to him when he asks if it made her feel any better. She just gives him a curt "no," before disappearing.
------
Things only get worse.
Raven's planned on returning a pair of walkie talkies to Monty and then heading off to bed. But before that can happen, Monty's pointing out how Clarke and Finn's hunting party has yet to return. (Raven realizes she hasn't even thought about Finn at all that day. She feels guilty for not feeling guilty.)
And to make things even crazier, Bellamy doesn't hesitate to place Octavia and Raven together to join the search party, having only one walkie left. She glances over at Octavia, but the girl won't even acknowledge her presence. She just trudges off into the woods, leaving Raven to scramble behind her to keep up.
They walk for a while in silence. Octavia struggles to hold the heavy gun on her shoulder. The quiet weighs on both of them like an impending storm, and Raven has to say something, because she can't stand the sound of absolute nothingness.
"This morning," she starts, startling Octavia, who pauses for a moment before she resumes walking. "This morning all I could think about was how much easier this would all be if Finn was just..." she pauses, looking over to Octavia and feeling the lump in her throat rise. "Gone," she whispers.
Octavia, frustrated with Raven's moping, finally turns to face her.
"You didn't wish this into being, Raven," she meets the girls eyes for a few moments before shaking her head and looking away. "Stop torturing yourself."
All Raven can do is sigh heavily. Because she knows, in Octavia fashion, the girl has just told her to get over herself.
Before anything else can be said between them, Monty's voice crackles over the radio, sounding panicked. And then, the rustling of bushes in front of them sends Octavia scrambling to raise her gun. Raven's fists tighten around the radio.
"There's someone in the bushes," Raven keeps her voice low and speaks into the radio before raising her gun and following Octavia, inching closer to the brush. But when Octavia pushes the leaves aside, it's not a grounder, it's Myles -- the third delinquent who had accompanied Clarke and Finn that morning. And when Raven asks about Clarke and Finn, the only word that follows is "grounders."
Right away, Octavia sees the change in Raven. She quickly steps up when Bellamy tries to lead them back to camp -- pressing the search for Clarke and Finn, for Raven's sake. But all Bellamy does is apologize to Raven -- who's already isolating herself, pushing aside her emotions and hurrying back to camp. Octavia's quick to follow.
She tosses her gun aside once they make it back to camp and scrambles to follow Raven into the dropship.
"Raven, wait," she blurts out, ducking into room, but skids to a stop when she notices Murphy is there too. He pauses, looking back and forth between Raven and Octavia -- red-faced and disheveled from their time in the woods -- and smirks.
"Two Blakes in one day?" He raises an eyebrow and turns to Raven. "Damn, Reyes. Didn't know you had it in you."
Raven's entire body freezes. All Octavia can do is look back and forth between the two, confused and in need of an explanation. She's not one to believe Murphy, but when she looks to Raven for an answer, the look on her face is enough validation.
"I can't believe you," Octavia hisses, shaking her head and pushing past Raven and Murphy, yanking the tarps out of her way.
She curls and uncurls her fists as she trudges past the rows of tents, bursting into the largest one. She's breathing heavily now, out of anger, and Bellamy immediately can tell something is wrong when she stares him down from across the small tent.
"What?" He looks at her, confused.
"How could you?!" she screams, lunging at him and pushing him backward. He stumbles a few steps but manages to grab Octavia's wrists before she can go at him again.
"What are you talking about?" He whisper-yells, looking around to make sure she hasn't caused a scene. Octavia feels the fire-red rage built up inside her slowly begin to fade, and then suddenly, she's breathing in shakily and falling into her brother's arms before he can see her cry.
Everything hits her at once -- the impending attack, the fact that she's barely gotten any sleep in the past week, losing Lincoln, and at the forefront of her mind -- Raven.
Bellamy does his best to comfort her, trying to pry some sort of answer out of his little sister. But all he's able to do is sit with her as she cries into his shoulder, and tuck her in when she eventually exhausts herself and she's unable to fight sleep any longer.
(Although, something inside of him makes him lie to Raven when she asks him if he's seen Octavia. Slowly, he comes to understand.)
------
At first light, Octavia is awake and pretending that last night's events didn't happen. Luckily, it's pretty easy to keep her mind off of things. With the impending grounder attack, she's been floating around camp all morning, helping the other delinquents secure the borders and set up trip wires.
They've gotten the whole north barrier enforced before high noon. Octavia's hands are red and raw, aching from lugging log after log across camp. Eventually, her group splits up for the time being, and she finds herself stealing a handful of berries from someone's tent and sneaking behind the dropship, eating as fast as she can and savoring the flavor -- praying that they give her a burst of energy.
She tries to shake off her nerves. Sure, she's done a lot of growing up in her short amount of time on the ground, but the small child in her still trembles at the mention of this war that's being waged. But Octavia knows better than to let her fear show. Instead, she swallows it and only revisits it in solace, where no one will know she's actually terrified.
She stands up, and just as she's about to hurry back out to see what else she can do to help, something is whizzing past her ear with such great a force that even her hair blows aside. Octavia freezes, hearing the clunk of something lodging itself into the tree beside her. Holding her breath, she turns her head slowly, inches away from the sharp weapon that's now stuck deep in the wood. Her eyes widen.
Something rustles in front of her, and before she can think, she's suddenly face to face with Raven -- who looks just as shocked as she is. Raven's eyes move back and forth from the dagger to Octavia, and her mouth forms a slight 'O.'
"What're you doing back here?" Raven narrows her eyes at the girl, jogging over to yank the homemade dagger out of the tree. She examines the blade, brushing it off with the sleeve of her jacket. "You're supposed to be working."
"I could say the same for you," Octavia plays off of Raven's cold tone, tilting her chin up slightly and giving the girl a knowing look. "What's this?" She snatches the dagger out of Raven's hands before the girl can argue.
Raven, offput by Octavia's sudden callousness, feels herself shrinking under the girl's cold glare. She looks down as Octavia studies the weapon. "Did you make this?"
"What's it matter to you?" Raven tries to match Octavia's indifferent manner. All Octavia can do is shrug and carelessly toss the dagger back to her, which Raven scrambles to catch.
"I've gotta get back to work," Octavia tears her eyes away from Raven's. Raven, frustrated, mimics Octavia and starts to storm away in the opposite direction. However, Octavia pauses when she hears something catch in the girl's breath, and turns around to find Raven has stumbled, catching herself against the back of the dropship. Nervously, Octavia watches as Raven's entire resolve crumbles. Raven punches the metal structure with one hand and leans her forehead against it, exhaling shakily.
Octavia watches somewhat pensively, fighting the urge that tells her to run -- to retreat as fast as she can and just pretend nothing happened. But she sees Raven's dagger fall out of her grip because her hands are shaking so much, and she gets the feeling that she isn't the only one who's been overworking herself to the point of exhaustion.
"Hey," Octavia, who's been balancing with one foot on either side of the fence, finally jumps in with both feet and makes her way over to the girl's side. She grabs Raven's hand, turning her wrist upwards and pressing two fingers to check for a pulse, knowing of Raven's history with her heart murmur. Raven only lets her do this for a few seconds before she tugs her hand out of Octavia's grip.
"Just go, Octavia," she mutters, weakly pushing the girl aside. Octavia stumbles backwards and studies the girl for a few moments, before simply nodding and slipping back around the dropship without another word.
Once Octavia's gone, Raven finds herself... disappointed. As if Octavia's leaving without a fight meant something bigger. However, something in Raven is relieved when Octavia returns only a few minutes later, carrying a blanket and some food she's gathered, wrapped up in a cloth.
Quietly, the green eyed girl sits down beside Raven, who's slid down the side of the dropship and let her head lean backwards. Unsure of what to say, Octavia shyly nudges the blanket into Raven's lap. Raven glares at her, but when she meets Octavia's hopeful eyes, she gives in and lets the girl wrap the blanket around her shoulders.
Octavia pulls her knees up against her chest and quietly nudges the cloth of food closer to Raven.
"You shouldn't be here," Raven mumbles.
"I've been working all morning," Octavia tilts her head to the side. "I can afford to take a few minutes off. I--,"
"No. Not that," Raven shakes her head. "You're supposed to be mad at me."
"Since when are you allowed to tell me how I'm supposed to feel?" Octavia raises an eyebrow, subtly scooting the food even closer to Raven with her foot. It doesn't go unnoticed by Raven, either, who begrudgingly plucks a berry from the pile.
Raven just sighs. "If I were you, I would hate me right now."
"Byegones," Octavia just shrugs, looking down at her hands. "If these really are the last moments of peace before... whatever happens... I think I can set aside any hurt feelings I have." She sighs and shakes her head. "It's not worth it." She glances at Raven and then nods towards the food. "Eat."
"You as nervous as I am for this?" Raven glances over at the girl upon her mention of the camp's conflict. Octavia closes her eyes for a few moments, exhaling slowly, and nods.
"I don't see this ever ending," Raven mutters. She leans her head back, resting it against the cold metal of the dropship and gazing upwards. "If we make it through this, it won't last long. Something else will come along and uproot everything again."
All Octavia can do is nod. And she stays like that -- curled up beside Raven, until she looks over and realizes the girl has slowly lolled off to sleep. Octavia glances around them before gently fixing the blanket over Raven's shoulders, tidying the food back up, and resuming her position beside the girl, to take watch.
She tells herself she's not going to fall asleep. But as she sits there, with Raven's quiet breathing beside her, she can't fight it when her eyelids start to grow heavy. She loses the battle to sleep rather easily, with her head slowly slumping over to take its place on Raven's shoulder.
------
When Octavia wakes, she's alone.
At first, she panics as she comes to, unsure of where she is. But when she feels the heavy blanket draped over her, she slowly realizes how she ended up there. Groggily, she gathers her things and makes her way back into camp.
Right away, there's an anxious murmur around her. She pulls Harper aside to ask her what's going on, and then moments later she's sprinting through camp as fast as she can, nearly running straight into Bellamy.
"I just heard Murphy has Jasper," she breathes out in a panic, looking back and forth from her brother to the dropship. But for some reason, Bellamy brushes off her comment and inquires about the barricade. Frustrated, Octavia pushes him aside and stomps towards the closed dropship.
"Murphy!" She yells, curling her hands into fists. "Murphy if you even touch Jasper I swear to god you're--!"
"Octavia!" Bellamy hisses, cutting her off. "I got this," he glares at her. Octavia's not quick to believe him, though.
"Really?" She snaps back. "Cause it doesn't look like you're doing anything about it."
"Bell."
And then Raven appears, with her hands shoved in her pockets, she keeps her voice low as she turns to Bellamy. Octavia's eyes scan her up and down, confused.
"You were right," Raven nods towards Bellamy, and then glances over to Octavia. "There's a loose panel in the back. If I can pop it, we can get in through the floor." She meets Octavia's eyes for a few seconds before looking back to Bellamy.
"Good. Do it," he nods. And with that, Raven's hurrying back around the dropship. Octavia watches her leave, whispering a quiet "sorry" to Bellamy, and takes a few steps back to join the crowd of people who have gathered.
And then, in some tragic turn of events, Bellamy is offering to take Jasper's place -- an offer Murphy can't refuse to pass up. All Octavia can do it watch anxiously as the door of the dropship opens slowly, and she grabs hold of Bellamy, promising she'll get him out. But all he does is put her in charge of keeping the delinquents working. Moments later, Jasper is pushed out of the dropship and Octavia's sliding to her knees to help him.
"Go help Raven," she pulls him to his feet and nods towards the back of the dropship. "I've got this," she adds, holding up the radio. Jasper meets her eyes worriedly but doesn't hesitate to follow the girl's instructions.
Gunshots echo through the dropship soon after and Octavia feels her heart practically dissipate in her chest. But luckily, Bellamy's voice is heard over the radio and she can breathe easy -- if just for a moment.
Too much time passes in silence. Octavia slowly crouches down, holding tightly to the radio. She says a prayer under her breath, willing Raven to figure out something.
And then, startling everyone, violent gunfire erupts from within the dropship. This isn't just one shot, either, it's a whole round of ammo. Octavia scrambles to her feet, practically shaking with rage. She swears -- if Murphy did something to Bellamy -- she's going to kill him. Someone tries to comfort her, she's not sure who, because she pushes them away.
Suddenly, there's a guttural hissing noise, and Octavia's eyes widen as the door of the dropship begins to extend, slowly making its way to the ground. A few of the delinquents, carrying guns, make it there before Octavia does. And when she bursts into the dropship, the scene of her brother hanging from the ceiling is enough to send her into a panic.
Immediately, she climbs up to untie the noose and Bellamy falls to the floor. She's screaming at him to breathe, breathe goddamn it, breathe. And when he finally gasps for air, Octavia's holding her own chest to try and calm herself down.
So much commotion follows. Bellamy is up on his feet, trying to go after Murphy. But everyone is stilled when the dropship is rocked with an explosion, and as they clamber up onto the top level, there's a gaping hole where the wall used to be. Murphy's already long gone.
And then, just as Octavia runs over to Bellamy to try and get him to drink something, there's more activity by the front gate. "They're back!" Someone calls, and Octavia's following her brother over to the doors, which open to reveal a distraught Clarke and Finn. They're alive.
They come bearing news, too. An army of grounders headed their way. Now. Bellamy insists on standing their ground, but Octavia can't help but think otherwise. They aren't prepared.
Clarke manages to gain the group's consensus for an evacuation, and soon everyone is hurrying back to their tents to gather their things. In the meantime, Octavia quietly approaches Finn.
"Where is he?" She asks, knowing Finn will understand. Then, something is placed in her hands -- a sword. Lincoln's sword. Octavia feels the weight of it, and suddenly she feels infinitely more powerful.
However, she doesn't have time to mourn. The minute she hears a distressed voice call out for help -- all the heat leaves her body. Raven.
The sword falls out of Octavia's hands and clatters to the ground when she sees Raven, clutching her side, pull herself through the front gates and cry out in pain. Everything in her grows numb. When she had heard the gunshots, she would have never imagined they were aimed at Raven. Suddenly, nothing else matters to her.
(Octavia's always feared losing Raven, but not like this. Never like this. It's a dark fear that she can't even begin to comprehend. And suddenly, it's all too real.)
Finn's the first one to get to Raven, scooping the girl up in his arms and effectively making Octavia's blood boil with jealousy. She's right behind Finn and Bellamy as they rush the girl into the dropship.
"I swear to god when I get my hands on Murphy I'm gonna--," Octavia cracks her knuckles, rocking back and forth on her feet anxiously as she watches Finn lie Raven down on one of the tables. She can see the pain in the girl's face and she feels so compelled to do something -- anything -- to save the girl.
"You're hurting her!" She moves forwards, shoving Finn away from Raven. He tries to stop her, but her blind rage has blurred any sort of rationality, and she grabs his shoulders, slamming him against the wall. "Don't touch her!"
Finn just stares at her with wide eyes, completely taken aback. Bellamy is quick to pry his sister away, hooking his arms around hers and holding her back when she tries to lunge at Finn once more.
"O," Bellamy spins her around roughly to face him, but there's a glazed over look in her eyes. The words 'she can't die, she can't die,' are running through her head on repeat, and Bellamy has to shake her to get her attention.
"Octavia," he warns her, sternly. She meets his eyes. Her knuckles are turning snow white from keeping them curled into tight fists. She tries to pull out of his grip to move to Raven's side, but he yanks her back in place.
"We need someone outside," he holds her gaze. "They listen to you."
"But I--," Octavia motions to Raven, stomping one of her feet defiantly. "I've got to--,"
"Octavia."
Everyone's head whips around to Raven, whose eyes are set on the younger girl. Her voice is weak and it's enough to gain Octavia's undivided attention. "Go."
"But--," Octavia pulls out of Bellamy's grip to move towards Raven, but one look from the girl is enough to stop her in her tracks.
"Just go," Raven nods, wincing in pain and keeping her eyes shut. It's not that she doesn't want Octavia there -- because she does, more than ever -- but she just can't handle the way Octavia will look at her like this. For now, she needs to girl to have her focus on something else. Appearing weak in front of anyone, especially someone she cares about, is something Raven can't handle.
And so Octavia, equal parts confused and enraged, can only nod. She practically vanishes from the room, leaving only the gentle rustle of the tarp in her wake. Bellamy and Finn exchange confused looks. As soon as she's out of sight, Raven collapses back on the table.
So instead of keeping guard over Raven, Octavia channels her nervous energy elsewhere. She's in the front lines, leading the group of delinquents as they make their way into the woods -- abandoning their camp. However, this doesn't last long. When something whizzes past her and knocks a neighboring delinquent to the ground, panic breaks out. Soon, they're funneling back into the camp. They're already surrounded.
------
For the rest of the day, Octavia's not allowed back into the dropship. Everyone else noticed her episode with Finn, and someone's always pulling her aside before she can even make it in the door. They've resorted to plan B -- sit around and wait for an attack. The idea doesn't comfort Octavia in the slightest.
And so, the only updates she's getting on Raven are relayed to her by Clarke and Finn. She's able to catch Finn for the first time when he reappears from within the dropship.
"Is she okay?" Octavia scrambles to his side, grabbing his arm before he can pull away. She doesn't care if he think she's insane, she just has to know that Raven isn't dead.
"For now," he nods quickly, taking a cautious step away from her. "I'm going to find Lincoln. If he has a coagulant maybe we can slow the bleeding and--,"
"Go," Octavia breathes out, understanding the importance of time. "Hurry." With a nod, Finn is gone.
------
As darkness begins to fall over the camp, Clarke finds Octavia perched atop one of the fences, glaring out into the wilderness. She shakes the girl's shoulder to get her attention. Startled, Octavia draws her sword and whips around. Moments later, she's apologizing to Clarke and quickly sheathing her weapon.
"Is she...?" Octavia bites her lip nervously, hopping down from the fence and wiping her hands on her jeans.
"She's alright," Clarke nods, giving Octavia some temporary comfort. "Finn still isn't back." Octavia notices how she looks longingly into the woods.
"But Raven...?" Octavia pries hopefully.
"She made me come out here to make sure you were okay," Clarke glances back to the dropship. "Are you?"
Octavia can immediately sense the questioning tone in Clarke's voice. The girl is trying to draw a confession out of Octavia. But right now, Octavia's too high strung to try and explain herself. So she just nods quickly.
"M'fine," she insists. "I'll keep an eye out for Finn."
Luckily, Clarke takes the message, and Octavia resumes her post. Quietly, she exhales and rubs the material of her jacket between her fingers. The word 'home' keeps flashing through her head. Her inner child is putting up a fight. Octavia struggles to hold back tears when she realizes she's not even sure where home is anymore.
------
By the time the attack comes, Octavia's almost relieved. At least now she doesn't have to sit around and wait -- driving herself crazy with questions.
Unfortunately for Octavia, the attack doesn't last long. Just as quickly as she immerses herself into the battlefield, driving her sword through the back of a grounder's head and saving her brother, she's out of the game. Because, seconds later, an arrow lodges itself in her leg. She doesn't even scream, she just half-crumples into her brother's arms.
Everything that follows is hazy. She remembers Bellamy carrying her away from the fighting, seeking safely behind a thick tree and laying her down there. She remembers begging him to leave her there. And then, she remembers the utter confusion that washes over her when Lincoln appears.
Her leg hurts so badly that by the time she's exchanging tearful goodbyes with her brother and being passed off to Lincoln, the world around her slowly fizzles into blackness in his arms.
She only wakes later in his arms when a huge explosion rocks the ground beneath them. Suddenly, the searing pain in her leg is irrelevant. Because the minute she sees the fire erupt in the sky through her clouded vision, all she can think of is Raven before everything turns dark again.