Anger - Mello X Reader
(Requested by TinyGatsby)
A/N: Longer one this time.
"Mello, are you sure this is a good idea?" you asked nervously as he led you through the wrought iron gates at the end of the short drive in front of Wammy's House orphanage. You, Mello, and Mello's best friend Matt, were running away from the orphanage after Mello had decided it would be a good idea. That wasn't really a good excuse, but Matt tended to follow Mello blindly everywhere he went, and you cared for Mello enough that you didn't want to see him leave you behind.
You would miss the orphanage, of course, but your only hope of staying was to persuade Mello to change his mind about leaving...and that hadn't gone too well every time you had tried so far. It seemed he was determined to abandon the place he had spent his whole childhood, and he wasn't about to decide otherwise.
"Of course it's a good idea," Matt defended his friend. "It's Mello's idea."
"Yeah, well, you would say that," you muttered.
"Quit arguing," Mello snapped, pushing the gate shut with a 'clang' sound behind the three of you. "It's not too late to turn back, (F/N)."
"Who said anything about turning back?" you spat back, pushing past him. "But do you have any idea where we going to go? What if there's nowhere out there for us? We were safe at the orphanage, but we'll never be safe out here."
"If safety is all you crave then you're a coward," Mello retorted, and you glared at him. "I can't stay there," he added. "Not with him filling the place up with his superior knowledge and abilities as L's successor." His tone was angry and sarcastic, reminding you of just how much the teenage boy had hated Near, one of the candidates to succeed L now that he was dead. The other candidate was Mello himself, but after Roger Ruvie had suggested they work together on the Kira case, Mello had stormed from the room in fury and told you and Matt that he was leaving.
"Fine," you said. "Lead on, then, and you can tell us where we're going to go."
"I'll find somewhere," Mello insisted. "We're old enough to look after ourselves now, and we don't need that stupid orphanage any more. We'll be fine." He began walking, and you suspected he didn't have any clue where he was going - he was just walking, away from Wammy's House, and away from Near.
You didn't usually argue with Mello as much as you were now. The two of you had gotten on well ever since you discovered you had a common love for chocolate, and victory. You admired Mello, and listened closely to anything he said. You didn't agree with everything he told you, but you wanted to complete the Kira case as much as he did. You understood how much Mello wanted to do it before Near, and you were willing to help him achieve that goal.
You weren't sure that leaving home was the best way to start, but it was Mello's choice. You loved, and would sorely miss, the orphanage...but the feelings you admitted to yourself was your growing love for Mello had made you leave with him. Being with him was all you wanted, but he wasn't the boy he used to be. He had changed so much since you had first known him, and you weren't certain if it was this Mello you loved, or the old one, or both of them.
You sighed, following after him and Matt. Did Mello love you back? He had never shown any sign to suggest he did, but he never gave away much concerning his emotions, unless it was anger or something similar. You watched him as he fished in his pocket for something, pulling out a piece of chocolate. The sight made you smile. The old Mello had loved chocolate just as much as this one did...and really, they weren't all that different, were they? People changed, it was natural for him not to be the exact same person he once was. You had loved his gentler side when he had shown it, and the less angry version of himself - but you loved now his ambition and determination, his willingness to prove himself and fight to win. Maybe he had always been like that, and you just hadn't seen it so obviously.
The time passed, and eventually as your feet grew tired, Mello ordered Matt to scout around for places that looked okay to stay for the night. You were slightly surprised - you hadn't been sure if he would stop to rest, or just keep on going through the night with his determination.
"Mello," you began, hesitantly, as the night began to grow dark and you were still wandering the streets, far from the orphanage.
"What?" he growled, not turning to look at you. "Don't say anything about us leaving, about where we'll go. Just don't. I don't need your input, or whatever advice you think you want to give. Just shut up."
You were startled by his ferocity. He was angry a lot of the time, angry at the whole world it seemed...but not with you. He had never been snappy or aggressive with you before, so you weren't sure how to act. You could see that he was very stressed, and of course questions wouldn't help with that. But you hadn't meant any harm.
"Mello, I'm sorry," you said softly.
He rounded on you furiously. "I thought I told you to shut up! How can I think straight with you complaining about something in the background."
You crossed your arms. "Mello, it isn't my fault we're stuck out here with nowhere to go. You can only blame yourself for that."
His eyes blazed. "So you're saying it's my fault! Well, you didn't have to come with me. I honestly don't know why you did." He turned away and began walking again, just as Matt reappeared. He frowned at the annoyed expression on Mello's face but said nothing.
You didn't sleep much that night. For a start, it was cold, and the alleyway where the three of you were sleeping wasn't exactly comfortable. It was the best place Matt had been able to find, and there hadn't been time to look for somewhere else. Frankly, you were surprised Mello had agreed to stop for the night, but you were glad he had.
In the morning, perhaps you would find somewhere to stay for longer, somewhere with the things Mello would need to begin his advance towards the Kira case, and the race against Near.
*********
Four years later, and Mello really began to get involved with the case. Someone from the SPK was keeping him informed on everything that happened, Mello had learned of the Death Note from this informant, and he had found a place for you, him and Matt to stay. He had convinced the Mafia to join him, and honestly, you were surprised at the amount of control Mello had. You had never really expected him to succeed in getting all of this after leaving the orphanage - you had kind of assumed he would simply wander around aimlessly until his anger finally burned off and he decided to reluctantly return to Wammy's House.
However, Mello had far from cooled off. His bad temper only became worse. He argued with you pretty much whenever you said anything, and refused to allow you to participate in his investigation of the Kira case. That infuriated you, especially as you knew why he was doing it - he thought you were weak, that you would drag him down and get in his way. He probably thought he was doing you a great kindness just allowing you to stay with him. It was especially annoying that Matt was helping him, and you secretly thought Mello was being a bit sexist - you were just as good as Matt, and would most definitely do you best to contribute anything helpful to the investigation.
But Mello treated you as if you didn't even exist half the time, and he was so distracted by chasing after Kira. You had hoped that in the space of four years he might have grown up a bit - but perhaps that had been wishful thinking on your part. He had changed too much from the young boy you had once known, and any hope of him being his old self had vanished.
Yet you still loved him. You couldn't help but admit it to yourself. You had fallen in love with this boy years ago, and you still felt the same way. If only he could love you back.
You were walking along a short hallway to get the room Mello had given you as your own bedroom. It was barely big enough to fit a bed inside, let alone walk around in it, but you were thankful that at least you weren't sleeping on the floor or something. You weren't looking where you were going, since you were too busy unwrapping a chocolate bar you had stolen from Mello's stash - and you didn't notice Mello himself walking around the corner. He crashed into you roughly, making you drop the chocolate and stare up at him, your eyes wide with fright. "Sorry!" you squeaked, looking away from his burning blue gaze.
"Watch where you're going," he snapped, and then looked at the floor, bending down to pick up the bar. "Is this mine?" When you didn't answer he raised his voice louder. "Is this mine, (F/N)?"
You swallowed, and nodded. Mello was extremely protective of his chocolate bars, and you had been brave to risk stealing one. Now you regretted it, and you nervously watched his eyes cloud with annoyance. But instead of doing anything, he closed his hand around the chocolate bar and brushed past you, walking away.
You let out a breath you hadn't realised you'd been holding and darted into your room, grabbing you belongings and packing them all together into a bag you had with you. You'd had enough of this, and you were leaving. You were tired of tiptoeing around Mello and making sure not to get in his way, of not being allowed to help with the case and not even being allowed to known how he was getting on with tracking down Kira. You wanted to go home, back to Wammy's House, and you were going now.
You hadn't brought much with you when you had left four years ago, so it didn't take long to pack. You sat down on the bed and waited, playing absent-mindedly with the blankets as you waited for evening. It was already sunset, so it wouldn't be long before dark.
When night finally fell, you slipped silently out of your room and down the hallway to the door that led out of the place. Once on the streets, you sped up your pace, not wanting to get caught by Mello or Matt or any of the Mafia members that may be lurking around.
You dropped your bag in shock as someone's hand came down on your shoulder, and you were spun around and slammed against a wall. You came face to face with glaring blue eyes, and as the young man stared angrily at you, you groaned inwardly as you realised that Mello had caught you leaving. "What are doing out here?" he demanded.
"I'm leaving," you stated, trying to stay calm. "I can't stay here, Mello, with you treating me awfully and me having to stay out of the Kira case. There's no point in me being here. Can't you see that I hate it there?"
"You're not leaving unless I say you are," he snapped.
You rolled you eyes. "See? That's my point. You're just rude to me, and-" You broke off and his grip on your shoulder tightened.
"So you're abandoning your friends."
"We were friends once, ages ago, Mello. Not any more. You don't want to be friends any more."
"How do you know I don't?" he asked, his eyes narrowing.
"Because you treat me as if you hate me, that's why," you snapped, your self-control finally breaking. You had to tell him how you felt. "I can't stand it, Mello, I really can't. The way I feel about you and the way you feel about me are two very different feelings, and they don't work together. I have to go, Mihael, and I'm not coming back."
He flinched at your use of his real name, and as you turned to go he caught hold of you arm and spun you back to face him again, leaning in before you could do anything he crashed his lips against yours. He kissed you heatedly, and you felt your eyes grow wide in shock. He didn't let go of your arm or pull away from the kiss, and you found yourself melting into it, kissing him back. Your eyes closed as he pressed you back against the wall, his hands gliding over your arms and waist in movements more gentle than you had thought Mello was capable of. The kiss, however, was anything but gentle - it was hungry and filled with passion, as if he had dying for this moment for so long and could no longer keep control of himself.
When he finally drew back, both of you breathing heavily, he looked away for a moment before meeting your gaze again. "You have no idea how long I've waited to do that," he said, in a soft tone of voice that was uncharacteristic for him. "No idea how much I love you."
"You...you love me?" you gasped, your voice barely more than a whisper.
He pushed his blonde hair out of his eyes. "Yes. But you hate me, and it's my fault you feel that way about me. I'm sorry, (F/N). Really."
You felt your heart melt at this sudden different Mello you were witnessing - the softer, caring Mello that you had always dreamed of seeing. And...he loved you! You felt like you could jump up and down with joy, but instead you stood onto your tiptoes and pressed your lips to his briefly. "I don't hate you, Mello. I could never. I love you too, but I just...I thought you were the one who hated me."
He shook his head. "Never," he replied, kissing you again. "Will you stay, (F/N)? Stay with me, and fight against that murderer Kira?" He clenched his fists. "We'll hunt him down together. I kept you out of my investigation because I wanted you to be safe, but that isn't what you want, is it?" When you shook your head, he said, "So help me, then. Help me with it as much as you want. Anything you can offer that will get us closer to our goal."
You nodded happily. "I'd be glad to stay with you, Mihael Keehl. I'll help in any way I can. We'll find Kira, and he'll die for what he's done to the world." You picked up your bag. It looked like you would never see the orphanage again, then, since you were going back with Mello, and either you would die while investigating Kira or you'd stay with Mello for the rest of your life - and he would certainly not go back. But as much as you missed Wammy's House, you were happy, because you were with Mello and he loved you.
Mello had turned and begun to walk back to the headquarters, as he had nicknamed the place you stayed. He turned around to add, "But, I'm in charge, okay?"
You grinned and followed after him. "Of course. As long as you don't get angry with me. Or I really will leave."
"No you won't," he retorted. "Because I'll take out my anger on anyone but you."
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A/N: Sorry if it wasn't what you wanted, you can re-request if you were thinking of something different :)