"What exactly am I supposed to say? Or, talk about?" I asked the guidance councelor, Miss Morell, with a sigh. After being held hostage at the Police Station, it was decided by my mom and school officials that seeing the councilor may help me get through this situation. Giving me someone to talk to that can decide if I'm handling everything properly.
She turned her head to the side slightly, studying my facial expression and body posture, and offered me a small smile. "Whatever you want to talk about, Kasey. This is your session. Would you like to talk about Matt?"
I chuckled bitterly, "Not really. No. I mean- the guy was obviously in some serious need of medication or something. You know, Mr. Stilinski told Stiles- who told me, that they found pictures of me on Matt's computer. And not just of super creepy stalker photo's, not he photoshopped us together doing things like holding hands and kissing. It was like he built this whole relationship between me and him up in his head, and it wasn't real."
"How does that make you feel about him? Do you feel repulsed by the fact he thought so highly of you?" She inquired as she once again smiled at me.
My eyes narrowed in confusion, "I don't feel sorry for him- if that's what you mean. Sure, the kids that hurt him when he was younger deserved to be punished but that didn't give him the right to go killing them all. And the fact that he liked me, doesn't repulse me. It just... it was a bit weird."
She nodded slowly, "Some good things came out of this, though... Correct?"
"Yeah, I guess. Stiles' dad got his job back, which is really good for him. And-and Stiles and I are good, great actually... but that's about it. Everything else is just... it's a mess." I sighed as I glanced down at the floor.
Miss Morell cocked her head to the side, "What do you mean by that?"
"My mom hasn't said a word to Scott or myself, since that night... ya know she keeps looking at me like-like I did something wrong, and-and I don't know what to say to her. Scott hasn't really talked to me either... he does, but he doesn't. If that makes any sense at all. I can tell that he doesn't want to talk to me- he's got so much other stuff going on, that I don't really seem to be in his mind anymore. Which is okay, I totally get that- he's- he has a lot to worry about right now. And Jackson just, he isn't really around much anymore. I don't know where he is or what he's doing. Allison doesn't talk to me either, her mother's death really hit her hard and she just doesn't talk to anyone. It's actually kind of funny, but Lydia seems to be the most normal one out of all of us now." I chuckled at the thought of Lydia being anything remotely similar to normal.
I nodded to myself, "So that's pretty much it. Why aren't you writing any of this down?"
"I like to write down my notes after my sessions," She assured me as she leaned back in her chair, studying me once again.
I rose an eyebrow in question, "Your memory is that good?"
"I'd like to focus on you, Kasey. How are you feeling?" She quickly switched the main focus of the conversation back to me, and I don't know why it made me so nervous to have her ask me how I'm handling all of this. I think I'm doing okay, considering the circumstances, but I can't really dive into the whole supernatural layer of all of this with her, she wouldn't understand and it would just make me sound crazy.
I nodded once, "Me? I'm fine. Totally fine. Aside from the nightmares, the jumpiness, the constant overwhelming feeling that something like this is going to happen again, and I won't be able to help any of the people that I care about."
"It's called hyper-vigilance, the persistent feeling of being under threat." She explained as he made eye contact with me.
I laughed lightly, "It's not just a feeling... it's like- like I'm back to sitting in that car, or being locked in that room... helpless, not being able to do anything, and all of a sudden I can't breathe anymore- and the only thing I can do is sit there and panic."
"Like you're drowning?" Miss Morell asked, obviously trying to pull Matt and his situation back into the conversation. He had drowned in the small creek outside of the police station the night of the hostage crisis, and for some reason I find it very hard to believe that he was even down by the water in the first place.
I nodded slowly, "Yeah, like I'm drowning."
"So, if you're drowning, and you're trying to keep your mouth closed until that very last moment, what if you choose to not open your mouth? To not let the water in?" She asked me.
"Well, you do anyway. It's a reflex, you can't breathe anymore and your head feels like it's literally about to explode. You just, you try to breathe and that's when you die- because you can't take that pain any longer." I said sadly.
She leaned forward a bit more, "But if you hold off until that reflex kicks in, you have more time right?"
"I guess, yeah. But, it never works out that way." I mumbled as I ran my hands over my face. I can't take much more of these drowning analogies. My head is pounding just thinking about anything remotely connected to Matt.
She rose an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"
I let out a sigh, "Life's like... flipping a coin. You know how when it's in the air and you have no idea what side it's going to land on, but you do know what side you want it to land on?"
Miss Morell nodded, "Yes, that's very accurate..."
"Yeah, it's even more accurate when the damn thing lands on the side that isn't the one you wanted. That's the reality of the situation though, because life never works out in the way you want it to." I added as I glanced at her. She had a perplexed expression on her face, and I could tell that my comment had thrown her off course a bit.
She cleared her throat and crossed her arms over her chest, "And how exactly would you connect this to your situation, Kasey?"
"Isn't it obvious?" I asked her with a bitter smile on my face.
She shook her head from side to side, "No, not to me. Please, enlighten me."
"The coin didn't land in my favor. It has never landed in my favor. It didn't land in Matt's favor. It didn't land in my brother's favor. Hell, it didn't really land in anyone's favor. And I'm starting to think that it never will, not for any of us."
✢
After school that day, I headed straight to Stiles' house. I didn't want to go home, just to be ignored. My mom has been avoiding me, and Scott hardly speaks to me- Stiles is the only person that actually wants to talk to me. So, when I walked through his front door, his dad wasn't home from work, and he was standing there waiting for me- I couldn't help but smile at him. He was standing at the foot of the stairs, leaning against the banister tapping his screen, but when he heard the door open his eyes snapped up to meet mine.
"Hey," He greeted with a grin as he slid his phone back into his pocket.
I stepped into the house and closed the door, "Hey."
"Um, what do you want to do? We can, um, go to my room? Or-or we can hang out down here?" He stammered awkwardly.
I chuckled as I sat my bag down on the floor, "I don't really care. Whatever you want is fine."
"Well, um, I have to change soon... for the game later." He informed me as I rubbed at the back of his neck nervously.
"Okay, so does that mean you want to go upstairs? I honestly don't see why you are so nervous, it's just me- Stiles." I laughed as I breezed past him and headed up the stairs to his bedroom. I skipped down the hall and walked into his room, I could hear him following after me as I crossed the entryway to his room.
Once I was standing in his room, I turned around to find him standing in the doorway smiling like an idiot and shaking his head from side to side, "What's so funny?" I asked in confusion.
"Nothing, you're just... you're cute." He chuckled as he walked into his room and sat down on his bed.
I rose an eyebrow, "Cute? Jeez, thanks."
"What's wrong with being cute?" He asked slowly.
I shrugged as I sat down beside him, "Nothing, I guess. It's just like, the lowest compliment on the good looks scale. You have cute, pretty, attractive, hot, sexy, and then beautiful."
"That's the scale?" He asked in amusement.
"Well, it's my scale." I chuckled. I had made this scale back in the seventh grade, and I use it whenever I describe someone. And, I think most people will agree to this order of compliments, so I just use it as a universal type of thing.
He nodded in approval, "I can see that making sense."
"Yeah... did you have to see the guidance councilor today?" I asked, completely changing the subject. I don't really want to talk about why I had to go, I was just curious if Stiles had to go as well- I don't think Scott went, but I could be wrong.
He let out a sigh, "Yep. Did you?"
"Yeah, it was kind of weird. I don't really like talking to her about stuff so personal, ya know? Like, I hardly know her... why do I want to tell her so many things about myself that I wouldn't even tell my own mom." I chuckled as I fell backwards on the mattress, so my eyes were fixed on the ceiling.
Stiles did the same as I did, and flopped down beside me. "Would you tell me?" He asked quietly.
"I mean... I guess, if you really wanted to know." I shrugged as I turned my head so I could face him.
He was looking at me, his eyes narrowed in concentration as they moved from my eyes to my lips repeatedly. I took the signal he was giving me and scooted over so I was right beside him, and pressed my lips to his. As he took that ritualistic intake of breath, I smiled and decided to try something new. I straddle his waist, not pulling my lips from his. He once again took a sharp intake of breath as I chuckled to myself.
For some reason he was so easy to catch off guard, and I can't help but love that. And the fact that I can literally stop him from making any rational thought as I kiss him. He awkwardly lifted his hands to grip on to my waist, but then- something in him just, changed. I could feel it as his lips started to move faster, and his grip tightened. He sat up, sliding me down to his lap as he wrapped his arms around the small of my back, squeezing me tighter against him. What am I doing? Why am I trying to pull his shirt off? For some reason my hands are frantically tugging at the base of his gray t-shirt, and Stiles pulled his lips away from mine for a mere second as we both jerked his shirt off of him. He was tugging on my shirt now, and instead of stopping him, I helped him pull off the black sheer top, leaving me in my black tank.
I thought he would try to pull that off as well, but his lips were back on mine too quickly and the chance to rip it off was now lost. He let out a throaty moan as he flipped me over and pressed my back into the mattress, his hips resting on mine roughly. What is happening? Clearly we are both entirely too sexually frustrated, and it's all just coming out in the open right now. My hands were secured around the base of his neck, pulling him closer to me, as if he could get any closer. My mind was racing with images and thoughts of what I could do and what could happen if I did something, I didn't want to have sex- not right now, anyway. But, I feel like if I let this go any further, that is exactly what is going to happen.
Even though a huge part of my mind was telling me to not move my hands, because the second I did things would escalate, another part of it was screaming at me to take this opportunity to do whatever it is that I want to do, we could be dead tomorrow at the rate our lives are going. So, that's why my hands traveled down his chest and to the waistband of his jeans. My fingers struggled with getting the button and zipper undone, but after twenty seconds of some issues, I was able to get them exactly how I wanted them. Stiles right hand was on my waist, traveling up my stomach under my tank, and he was obviously getting irritated with it.
Without a second thought, my hands were back around his neck and I managed to quickly switch positions with him, he was now laying down on the bed and I was once again straddling him. I pulled my lips off of his and quickly relieved myself of my tank, his left hand hooked around the base of my neck and smashed my lips back to his feverishly. His right hand was gripping onto my waist again, he was making no attempt to pull my pants off, which I still can't decide of that's a good or bad thing. My skin was on fire, and whenever his skin brushed against mine- it only added fuel to the small flames dancing on top of me.
His lips were moving so fast, I was having issues keeping up with his pace. He obviously didn't like being laid down like this, because he once again sat up, causing me to slide down to his lap, and he held me in place by wrapping his arms around my lower back. As my exposed chest was pressed against his, more and more places in my body started to tingle- and I wanted nothing more than to have sex with him right this second. I can't, but I want to. God, I want to so badly.
I don't know why, but he kept trying to stand up- his hips were pushing me upwards, but then something would stop him and he sunk back down to the bed. I have clue why he is doing this, but he needs to stop bucking his hips against me like that, it's a little too much for me to handle and I so close to just ripping both of our pants off right now it's unreal. "Up," He breathed out against my lips, what? He then stood up fully and I got what he meant. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around the back of his neck. He then walked towards the wall and press my back to the wall, he obviously didn't want to be on the bed, knowing where that was about to lead. I dropped my legs to the floor as he pressed me against the wall, his lips still attacking mine.
Everything was spinning, and I couldn't quite get a grasp on what I should do next. The only thing that I do know, is that his touch is so beyond addictive it's insane. How he has managed to go this long without a girlfriend amazes me, the way he kisses me and touches me is so sensual that someone must have taught him, or he has practiced before. But, I know he hasn't- because he has been single for his entire life. Well, it's the rest of the worlds loss. He's mine now, and I'm not letting him go. Ever.
My phone started to ring, and I was so very tempted to ignore it. Stiles obviously wasn't paying any attention to it, instead he was still kissing the crap out of me, leaving me completely and totally under his spell. But, after the fourth call- he pulled back and glanced down at my jeans, "Answer it."
I sighed to myself as I pulled it out of pocket and checked the screen to see it was my brother calling, "Hey Scott?" I asked.
"Kasey, we have a very big problem."
✢
Apparently Scott had a much more eventful afternoon than I did, while I was making out with my boyfriend- our mom had been threatened and nearly choked to death by the Kanima, and Jackson was playing in the Championship game tonight. Those aren't exactly two things that you really want to hear while you are standing half naked in front of your also half naked boyfriend while you two were going at it.
So, I had to leave and stick by my mom's side for the rest of the day. She still wasn't really talking to me, and I had thought that our relationship was going to be ruined forever, but then as we pulled into the school parking lot- she finally opened her mouth.
"Are you... like your brother?"
I glanced at her oddly, "Well, genetically speaking mom, yes I'm like my brother.."
She narrowed her eyes at me in annoyance, "Kasey, I'm not in the mood."
I sighed, "Yes and no. I mean, I'm not a werewolf like him... but I am something, and what I am is really hard to explain right now, so I just need you to know that I'm not dangerous or anything like that."
"Can we just go in the boys locker room?" She asked as she climbed out of the car.
I grinned mischievously, "Technically, no."
"What do you mean by that? Are we not supposed to be back there?" She inquired.
I chuckled, "Just follow me. I go in there all the time."
And true to my word, I led her into the boys locker room. I mean, I guess we shouldn't be in here- but if the school was really so worried about that, then they would have like an armed guard at the door, which they don't. I sneak in here more times than I can count, and I've never gotten in trouble for it. Sure, Coach likes to make some comments about me being a stalker and having severe attachment issues- but hey, I am willing to live with that.
My mom followed me into the locker room, where the team was gathered around in a large circle. Coach was by his office, adjusting his little radio he was about to speak into, and my mom was looking around for my brother. Sadly, we weren't able to find him- but I did manage to find Stiles, so I pulled my mom in his direction. I had grabbed his hand, and he jumped in place as he turned around- but when he saw it was me he smiled and squeezed my hand tightly.
"Good morning, in less than an hour, aircraft from here will be joining others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind." Coach began to speak through his small radio. I glanced over to him to see he had on a leather bomber jacket, which only made me chuckle.
My mom looked around in confusion, "What?"
"Mankind-- that should have a new meaning for all of us today.." He continued.
I let out a quiet laugh as my mom tapped Stiles on his shoulder to ask him, "What the hell is he talking about?"
My boyfriend let out a sigh, "He does this every year."
"Seriously?" She dead-panned.
He nodded, "Yeah."
"We are fighting for our right to live!" Coach stated with determination and enthusiasm. The boys in the locker room cheered loudly and fist pumped in agreement.
My mom shook her head from side to side in confusion, "Wait, is this...?"
"The speech from Independence day, yes. Yes it is." I chuckled as I tried to stop the smile that kept growing on my face. I couldn't help it, the fact that Coach Finstock is using the speech from Independence day to motivate his team just tickles me.
"But as the day the world declared in one voice... We will not go quietly into the night!" Coach continued as he held his fist up proudly in the air.
Stiles glanced at my mom, "It's Coach's favorite movie... so..."
"Does he know any sport speeches?" My mom asked in confusion.
Stiles shrugged, "I don't think he cares."
"Today we celebrate, our Independence Day!" He cheered, which caused the rest of the room to cheer in agreement. I, myself, cheered and clapped my hands. I couldn't help it. The speech was good.
Stiles and my mom glanced at me awkwardly, "What? It was a good speech," I muttered as I looked back to the Coach, only to see Gerard standing behind him.
"Well spoken, Coach. I might have chosen something with a little more historical value, but there's no denying your passion. And while I haven't been here long, there's no denying my pride in having a winning team for this school. I know you'll all be brilliant tonight, even with only one co-captain leading you. Now, I'm your principal, but I'm also a fan. So don't think I'll be content to watch you merely beat this team. Get out there and murder them." Gerard spoke, and literally as he spoke the atmosphere in the room changed.
My mom had taken a step back out of pure fear, after hearing that Gerard was in our house earlier this afternoon and nearly had Jackson strangle her- I can understand why. Stiles' grip on my hand tightened immensely, the second that Gerard took a step in front of Coach. And with the word choices that Gerard was using, it was making my stomach flip flop. What did he mean by only one co-captain? Scott is here, and Jackson is supposed to be playing as well. And when he said murder them, it made my skin crawl with uneasiness.
"You heard the man. Asses on the field!" Coach yelled, and the rest of the team began to cheer as they all rushed out. My mom and I got pushed out the door before she was able to talk to Scott, so we just gave up and headed out to the bleachers to watch the game.
__________________________________________________________________________
So, Kasey and Stiles finally had their intense make out session. I have been waiting to write that for a while. I hope it wasn't too bad, I thought it was good... well, that's just my opinion. I only have one episode left and then I'm done with season two. How crazy is that? I hope to have season two finished by tonight but we'll see how that goes.
Fan, vote, and comment! xx