Sleep is rare lately.
You close your eyes and just a glimpse of the oncoming jerks you awake.
So there you lay on the bed on the bottom of the ship staring at the ceiling instead.
The light is on so you watch the ceiling blur under the onslaught of your gaze.
There's nothing better you can do.
Well, that's a lie.
You could talk to Alicia but there's nothing you want to say.
So you lie there waiting sinking into the mattress without a word.
However, Alicia never mastered the art of waiting.
The door is oiled too well to creak when it opens but you still at the familiar sound of her sneakers on the wooden floor.
You want to be coward so bad.
You wish you could just keep your eyes shut and pretend she wasn't coming to talk.
You wish you could pretend she wasn't here at all.
Maybe it's better you were never good are pretending.
Her footsteps grow closer and closer until the end of the bed dips.
"What are you afraid of?" Alicia asks and it echoes in the silence of the room.
You look down from the ceiling and still when her green eyes pierce you to the bed.
"You."
Alicia shakes her head and you swallow hard.
"I would never hurt you.
The earnestness, the vehemence in her words makes our heart stop for one painful moment.
"Not on purpose," you rasp mouth dry. "But you will."
Alicia pushes on leaning more into you until she's actually leaning over you.
Her arms are the only thing stopping the two of you from touching.
"Why won't you give me a chance?"
The forest green of her eyes are only a thin line eclipsed by the darkness of her pupils and you're spellbound at her pleas.
"Why can't you tell me how you feel?"
She's so close now.
Her breath makes you shiver where it touches the delicate skin.
You can barely breathe but manage to whisper.
"You're terrifying."
Alicia pulls back watching your face and the way your chest heaves at her proximity.
When she returns, Alicia lays her body on top of yours.
The weight is grounding and steady but it feels like too much but not enough where her hot skin slides against yours.
Her nose brushes against your cheek before moving until her eyes meet yours once more.
You're surrounded by Alicia, wonderstruck by her eyes, her body, her being and you give in when the tip of her nose touches yours.
"You can break me," you almost mouth the words and swallow. "I swear you'll be the death of me."
Alicia's exhale is shallow and she closes her eyes her lips just barely grazes yours.
You shiver at the sound of her voice.
"What a way to go."
She springs forward her lips touching yours and you lose yourself in the strength, in the beauty of Alicia.
You're still petrified but allow it knowing Alicia will be your strength.