October 1942
Helen and Jonathon were in the dining room having dinner. It had been a cold and dreary day with grey clouds racing across the sky, but it was the time of year when the sun was setting earlier, and they could only hear the wind blowing outside, rattling the panes of glass. The chandelier over the table was lit, making the room feel cozy.
"I wish he'd hurry up and get here," Helen said, setting her fork down, her plate still half filled with food. "I'm anxious to see him."
"When I talked to him on the phone, I asked him not to be too late, but I suppose he and Kitty have a lot of catching up to do."
Billy had returned from army training earlier that day, but Jonathon and Helen hadn't gone to the train station to greet him. Helen was now visibly very pregnant, and going out in public was out of the question. Jonathon had considered going without her, but he knew his brother would probably prefer to have some time alone with Kitty. And besides, taking the day off work would mean he wouldn't be able to be home on Sunday when the whole family would be together. He didn't want to miss out on that.
"How long did Billy say he'd be in town?" Helen asked.
"He has three weeks leave before he has to report to his unit, but it took him four days to get here. It may take that long to get to where the unit is stationed."
"So he has less than two weeks," she said quietly.
"That's about right."
She stared at her plate without saying anything, but Jonathon knew what she was thinking. It wasn't enough time when they didn't know how long it would be before they saw him again. Or if you see him again. Jonathon immediately pushed the thought out of his head.
"Do you think he'll ask Kitty to marry him while he's here?" Helen asked.
Jonathon looked up with surprise. "I – I hadn't thought about it."
"Kitty said he hasn't brought it up in any of his letters to her."
"He's been planning on marrying her for a long time, but maybe – maybe things have changed."
"If they don't get married, do you think..." She dropped her head, instead of finishing her thought.
"Do I think what?"
She met his eyes with concern. "I'm worried about them. What if they make a mistake because they're caught up in – everything."
"Kitty wouldn't let Billy go too far – would she?" he asked, wondering if that was her fear.
"No, but when you know it might be the last time you see..."
She dropped her head again, and a stab of jealousy pierced him. He knew she was thinking about Walt.
"If they got married, we wouldn't have to worry about it," she said.
"I'll talk to him and find out what his plans are. If he's not thinking about marriage, it wouldn't hurt to remind him of his responsibility to take care of Kitty."
"That might be best," she said, managing a smile.
The headlights of a car swept across the wall opposite the bay window, and they both turned to look. "That's got to be him," Jonathon said.
He took Helen's arm and helped her up. She was big enough now that she was no longer able to get out of chairs without a struggle.
"Billy sure is going to be surprised when he sees me," Helen mused while they headed into the hallway.
As they walked, he noticed her pulling her cardigan tighter around her body. It wasn't large enough to cover her, leaving her belly exposed, and she tugged at it again.
"You look beautiful," Jonathon said, putting his arm around her waist. "Billy will think you look beautiful too."
She leaned into him with a grateful smile. "You're being too kind. I'm huge."
"That doesn't matter to me, and I'm not being kind. You couldn't look bad if you tried."
At that point, the front door swung open.
"Johnny!" Billy said. He rushed in and set down his suitcase and an enormous duffle bag while he pushed the door closed with his foot. He advanced on Jonathon and grasped his hand, shaking it vigorously. "How ya doin'?" he said, but Jonathon could only stare at his brother in stunned silence.
To say that Billy had changed since the last time he'd seen him was an understatement. Billy was dressed in full uniform, and maybe that's why he seemed physically bigger than Jonathon remembered him being. He even seemed taller. His face was tan from his time spent outdoors, and it was leaner, making him appear older. He was no longer the lanky teen boy who'd left three months ago.
Billy let go of his hand with a laugh. "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?"
Jonathon shook his head. "No – no! I just – It's good to see you."
"It's good to see you too! And Helen," he said, turning his attention to her. He kissed her cheek, and then stepped back, looking her up and down. "Wow! You look like you're due any minute!"
"Not for a few more weeks, at least," she said, looking over at Jonathon with a strained smile.
"Well, you look great!"
Her smile warmed. "Thanks, Billy, you look great too. The uniform suits you."
"You think so?" They heard footsteps behind them and Billy's face lit up. "Annie!"
"How are you?" she asked as he went to her.
"Hungry!"
She appeared scandalized. "Do you mean Kitty's family didn't feed you?" she said loudly, putting her hands on her hips.
Billy laughed. "They fed me, but after three months of eating the chow at camp, I'll never get enough of your home cooked meals."
Annie blushed, and Helen said, "We were just eating dinner, you should join us."
"That's an offer I won't refuse," Billy said, taking off his army cap and tossing it on the table with the telephone.
"I'll go set a place," Annie said, already turning to leave.
Billy slapped his hand on Jonathon's back as he led the way down the hallway. "It sure feels good to be home," he said, shaking his head with a happy smile.
"Was the army what you expected?" Jonathon asked.
"It was hard, but I liked the challenge. I can do all sorts of things I never thought I'd be able to. You probably won't believe it but I'm a pretty good shot, one of the top fellows in our group."
When Jonathon looked at him, he was grinning with pride. "I am surprised." He couldn't help thinking back to the disastrous day long ago when Father took them deer hunting. Back then, he never could have imagined that Billy would take to guns.
Billy's eyes got large when they entered the dining room. "Look at that spread!"
"It's just the usual pork chops. Come have a seat," Annie said, pulling his chair out for him. "If you want anything different, let me know."
"Oh, no. This is plenty!"
Between huge bites washed down with lots of milk, Billy still managed to talk non-stop about his time at camp.
"It seems like you took to basic training," Jonathon observed while Billy scraped the last of his second serving of cobbler off his plate.
"It was tough, definitely tough, but when you get through it, there's a sense of pride," Billy said, straightening with a smile. "Each time we finished something new, I could say, I made it. I took what the army dished out, and I didn't do too bad."
"That's really good, Billy," Helen said.
Jonathon was happy for him too. His fears that his brother wouldn't be strong enough to handle basic training had been unfounded after all. "Where's your unit stationed?" he asked, wondering how early he'd have to leave.
"It's in California."
"Are you going to the Pacific?" Helen asked loudly, and both brothers looked at her.
"Uh, I don't know yet," Billy said, his expression more serious. "But when we get our orders, I'm not supposed to tell where we're going."
"Oh, right," Helen said, ducking her head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."
"Don't worry about it, and don't worry about me. I made a promise to Kitty that I'm coming back for her. You know if I don't keep that promise, she'll kill me."
In spite of himself, Jonathon laughed at the joke, and Helen smiled, but Jonathon could see the tension in her face. "What are your plans while you're home?" he asked Billy, wanting to change the subject.
"Well," Billy said, leaning back in his chair. If you get me up to speed on what's happening at the mine, I can take over. That way you can spend some time with Helen."
"That's – a very nice offer," Jonathon said with surprise.
"It's the least I can do. I know I messed things up pretty good for you, Johnny."
"I've been able to take a little time off, here and there, not as much as I'd like," Jonathon said, looking at Helen. "Kirkland has been managing in my place."
"He's a good fellow."
"I'm grateful you'd want to do that for us, Billy," Helen said. "But won't you miss spending time with Kitty?"
"I will see her, but since she's in school, I can't see her during the day anyway."
"Oh, of course," Helen said, rubbing her forehead. "I'm not thinking clearly."
"Are you okay?" Billy asked.
"I'm just tired," she said, giving him a reassuring smile. "I get tired a lot more easily now, and it makes me forget things."
"Why don't you go to bed, darling," Jonathon said, already scooting his chair back so he could help her up.
"I suppose I should." She took his hand. "I'll tell Annie we're done first."
"I'll take care of that," Billy said.
"Thanks, Billy. Good night."
Billy left through the swinging door to the butler's pantry, and Jonathon went with Helen.
"Would you like me to come up with you?" Jonathon asked when they reached the bottom of the stairs.
"Oh, no. You visit with Billy."
"Alright."
He put his arms around her and kissed her, then waited while she climbed the stairs. She was moving much slower lately, and even though he hadn't seen signs of it, he worried her stomach was big enough it would make her lose her balance.
When he heard the bedroom door close, he went in the grand parlor and headed for the bar cabinet. A moment later, Billy appeared. "Do you want anything," he asked while he poured brandy into a glass.
"Naw, I'm good," Billy said, sprawling on a couch.
Jonathon was about to remind him of his manners, but he bit his tongue. Billy was no longer the kid brother he was raising. He was a man now.
"I can't believe in a few weeks you're going to be a father, and I'm going to be an uncle," Billy said while Jonathon sat on the opposite couch. "I wish I could be here when it happens."
Jonathon took a sip of his drink instead of replying.
"Do you think it'll be a boy or a girl?"
"I haven't thought about it," he said, keeping his attention on the swirling liquid in his glass.
"What's Helen hoping for?"
"She hasn't said one way or another. She'd probably be fine with either." Jonathon could tell his brother's eyes were on him, but he kept his focus on his glass.
"It looks like things are going good between you and Helen," Billy said after a minute of silence.
"They are," Jonathon said, smiling up at his brother.
"You're happier than I've seen you in a long time."
"I am happy. Helen is..." He gazed at his glass, searching for the right words. "She's so much more than I expected. Every part of being married is so much more than I expected."
"That's good to hear. I'm happy for you, Johnny."
"Thanks."
Billy didn't say anything else, and Jonathon wondered if it would be the right time to bring up the subject of marriage.
"What about you?" he started tentatively. "Have you thought about – you and Kitty?"
Billy brushed his hand over his pant leg while he frowned, like he was trying to get a piece of dirt off. "If you're asking me if I'm going to marry her before I leave, I'm not," he said, and Jonathon was startled by the forcefulness of his tone. "I don't want to tie her down. What if she meets another fellow? She should be able to move on with her life."
"Do you think she'd step out on you?"
"No, but..." He sighed. "This is just between you and me, but while I was at camp, I could see we're not ready to fight. Just a few months ago, people were training with gear from the last war. I have no idea how long it'll take for us to be ready for the Nazis and the Japs. I could be gone for years, and in that amount of time, anything could happen. I'm just trying to be realistic."
"But Kitty is devoted to you. I don't think she'd give up on you that easily."
"I know, and I'm devoted to her. She'll always be my girl no matter what." He dropped his head. "The other fellows at camp, a lot of them were seeing local girls even though they had sweethearts back home. I'd never do that to Kitty, but I also don't want to take away her freedom. I don't think that would be fair to her."
"Don't you think it would give her comfort if she was married to you? Helen said she had a tough time while you were at camp."
Billy shook his head, his expression darkening. "I won't do it to her. I won't leave her like that."
"Leave her like what?"
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "After seeing what Helen's gone through," he said quietly to his clasped hands. "It made me think about Kitty having to raise a baby all by herself. There wouldn't be anyone who would be there for her like you've been with Helen, and I know the whole time she'd be sick with worry about me. That's no way to raise a kid. If she's not tied down, she'd be free to do what's best for her, see?" He looked up at Jonathon with reddening eyes. "What if something happened? I want her to be able to have a fresh start with a new fellow – without being constantly reminded of me."
Jonathon took a drink from his glass, the alcohol burning the lump in his throat. It was clear Billy had put a lot of thought into it. Jonathon couldn't fault him for his reasoning, but it made him sad to know his brother was being forced to make such a decision. He supposed all young men going into the war had had to wrestle with the same terrible dilemma – start a family before going off to fight and run the risk of never being able to come back to them. Or waiting until everything was over, and possibly losing the chance of never having a child who would carry on your name.
"I have a favor I need to ask you, Johnny," Billy said, cutting into his thoughts.
"What is it?"
"Will you keep an eye on her for me? Well, not you personally, I know she's close to Helen. Just make sure that if she needs anything, if anything does happen to me, you'll take care of her like I would?"
"Of course I will."
"Maybe it's crazy for me to worry about her. I know she's got her parents, but – I'd feel a whole lot better if I knew she's got you looking out for her."
"I'll do it."
"Thanks, Johnny," he said with a grateful smile. "I'm lucky to have you for a brother." He rubbed his hands over his face, and when he dropped them, he looked exhausted. "I'm ready to hit the sack. I've been sleeping on trains for three days, plus we've got an early morning tomorrow."
"That we do," Jonathon said, and swallowed the last of his brandy.
At the top of the stairs, Billy took Jonathon's hand again while he smiled. "Good night, Johnny," he said quietly.
"'Night, Billy."
Jonathon let himself into his darkened bedroom. From the sound of steady breathing, he could tell Helen was already asleep, and he took his pajamas into the bathroom so he could change without disturbing her. It was cold in the bathroom and he rushed to get changed. When he was finished, he crossed the bedroom to his side of the bed, hearing rain pelting against the windows. He slipped under the bedding, trying not to wake Helen, but she stirred.
"Johnny?" she murmured.
He hushed her as he eased closer to her. "Go back to sleep," he whispered.
She snuggled against him and he put his arms around her. Her flannel nightgown was soft, and he threaded his fingers through her long hair. Her body was warm, and he closed his eyes, enjoying the closeness and the sound of the rain outside.
~~
The next morning, Billy made the rounds with Jonathon, in spite of the cold rain. As they went from one part of the operation to another, Jonathon was amazed at how Billy took charge, quizzing the men in charge and making sure he understood what they had to get done by the end of the day.
It was a side of Billy he hadn't seen before, and it made him proud to see his brother so focused and commanding. But it also saddened him. He was missing a lot by not having Billy at his side to help run the mine.
By time they walked inside the office, both of them were soaked and half frozen. "I think you should go home," Billy said.
"Are you sure?" Jonathon said as Mrs. Gibson came forward to take their wet coats.
"You go home to Helen. I think I've got everything in hand here. If I have a question, I can call."
"Well, alright. Mrs. Gibson, can you get my change of clothes for Billy?"
"Yes, sir," she said, turning towards his office."
"I'll probably go to Kitty's after work," Billy said. "But I'll try to not be too late."
"Alright." Jonathon went back outside and spotted James in the parking lot, waiting to get his lunch. "I'll be going home," he said as James got out of the car to open the rear door for him.
"Aye, sir."
During the ride home, Jonathon smiled, thinking of how nice it was going to be to spend the rest of the day with Helen. When he closed the front door behind him, Helen must have heard because she called out from the library, "Who is it?"
He pulled off his rain coat and threw it over the banister of the stairs. "It's me," he said, walking into the library. She was sitting in front of the fireplace where a roaring fire was burning.
"Johnny!" she said with delight, setting aside a small yellow sweater she was knitting. She struggled to get out of her chair as he approached.
"Don't get up," he said, and took the chair next to her.
"What are you doing home so early?"
He stretched his legs closer to the fire. "Billy said he was able to take over, so..."
"That was fast. I thought it would be at least a day or more," Helen said with a smile. "Have you eaten lunch yet?"
"No."
"Me neither. I'll tell Annie there'll be two of us."
"Not yet," he said, putting his hand on hers as she started to push herself up. "Let's sit for a bit. I'm still warming up and – it's so nice to be here by the fire with you."
Her face was glowing as she said, "Alright," and picked up her knitting.
****
If you're wondering about the picture, that's the one I've had since the very early days of writing The Boy in the Woods, the one that helped me imagine Billy. In real life, that soldier was named Bill Lipton, and I suppose it's possible he was also called Billy. You'll be happy to know he survived the war, came home, and raised a family.
I can't wait to hear what you think about this chapter! What do you think of Billy's decision not to marry Kitty until after the war? Helen and Jonathon are very close to having a child, and you can probably tell from his conversation with Billy that Jonathon is nowhere near close to coming to terms with it than he was months ago. What's going to happen when he can't avoid it anymore?
Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts! I will strive, as always to get the next chapter up as soon as possible!
Cheers!