Chapter 20
You know how it feels when you have a bad dream that never ends? Not only it never ends, it also repeats itself nonstop, showing you the same horror you try to forget? You can't wake up, you can't open your eyes, you can't be sure if it's real or not, you can't do anything but watch. Do you know that feeling?
Well, this is what I feel right now. The moment of Justin being stabbed in the stomach keeps repeating itself in my head non-stop. I don't know for how long it's been repeating itself, but I'm sure it's been a very long time.
Here it comes again;
"YOU WILL NEVER HAVE HER!" Justin shouts. Blood is pouring out of his arm. Sean all of sudden smirks and says, "Never say never" before sticking the knife inside Justin's belly.
I can't help but shrink whenever the last part arrives. Unfortunately, I not only hear those words, but also see it happening. I see all the blood coming out of Justin's tummy and dripping out of his mouth. If I was awake, I'd be puking my guts by now.
Worst part is that I can't even tell if it's a dream or not. I've been stuck in that black space for awhile, I don't know what's actually happened and what I'm only imagining. Hopefully, it's all a dream and I'm about to wake up in Justin's arms in his bed.
"Emily, my sweet, precious baby.." I all of sudden hear a voice mumbling these words in full concern and love. I vaguely feel a hand stroking my head and lips kissing my forehead tenderly. "I miss you so much..." The voice cracks at the end. "Please don't leave me... Not you, too..." The voice slowly becomes louder and clearer, letting me know it's a woman talking.
I try to mumble something but nothing but a slow sigh comes out of me. "Emily?" I hear the woman crying. That woman.. Her voice.. Sounds so familiar.. "Emily, honey, can you hear me??" My mom! That's my mom! But why is she scared to lose me?? Did something happen??
I struggle to move myself to let her know I'm okay but it's like all of my bones are gone and I'm a jello. I feel a hand gripping mine, squeezing it gently. I manage to move my fingers a bit - just enough for my mom to breathe out in relief.
"Oh my god, Nurse! She's waking up!" Cold wind hits my face as the door swings open and footsteps rush in. This time I succeed to move my head, slowly and gently opening my eyes. It feels like I haven't seen the sunlight for a week or so.
Struggling to open my eyelids, I lift my arm up a little and stroke my mom's cheek gently. I blink hard until I finally manage to open my brown eyes and see my mom and a nurse staring at me with smiles in a blur. "Hi.." I mumble huskily and cough. The nurse rushes to hand me a glass of water and sets it on the table when I'm done taking a few sips.
"Where's everyone?" I murmur, want to know where they are. "With Justin." My mom answers as the nurse exits the room. "Why?" I ask. "Don't you remember?" She looks at me shocked. I return a dumbfounded look. "How many days was I out? Why am I even here? Why don't I feel anything moving in my tummy?? Mom, what happened?!" I cry out, rapidly start to freak out. Did I abort them? Did they die? What happened to my babies?!
"Relax, the babies are alright and you've been out for nearly four days." She answers me calmly. "But why am I in the hospital? And where is Justin? Why isn't he here??" She takes a moment to think and about to answer when the door opens wide and Chaz walks in together with Erin.
Erin?
"Ohmygod, Emily!" She screams and hurries up to hug me whilst crying a river. "I'm so glad you're alright!" She exclaims in my ear and hugs me tighter. She lets go of me and looks at me confusingly once she sees my lost face. "What?" She mumbles. "Can someone please tell me what happened??" They all share shocked and cautious stares before Erin grabs my hands and sits down next to me.
"Sean stabbed Justin and your water broke right after." I take a moment to take in all she said. Does that mean my dream, this long horrible nightmare.... It was real?!
I'm appalled. My mind is drained from thoughts. I got nothing to say in respond. My dream... My nightmare... Was real... And I didn't even try to warn Justin about it. I thought nothing would happen if I kept it as a secret.. I can't believe how stupid I was! Now Justin is lying somewhere in this hospital with many wires connected to his arms and it's all my fault!
When I finally find my voice, I murmur, "Justin?" I look at all three of them, hoping they have good news, but all I could see was sadness painted all over their faces. "Don't tell me he's dead!" I blurt loudly. "No, no! Of course not!" My mom starts to protest. "Justin.. He.." Erin stutters. "He's in coma." Chaz finally lets it all out.
He's in what?!
"Nurse! Nurse!!" My mom suddely screams while pushing the nurse button. "Emily, stay with us!" Erin shouts whilst holding my head. Chaz bends over Erin and shouts something but I can't hear him. The door flings open and a trail of nurses rushes in. The last thing I remember is a nurse sticking some liquid into my IV.
* * *
"Emily... Ms. Stevens..." A sweet voice mumbles my name through my head. "Emily..." My eyes slowly open, a nurse is hovering over me. "Good morning, sweetie. My name is Fiona. I'm here to give you your medicine." Fiona lets me know. I slowly sit up and drink the pills she gives me. A bit confused, I hand her the cup and watch as she checks the machines next to me. "Call me if you need anything." She smiles. "My...." I mumble. "My mom..." I finish. "She went to bring her something to drink." She smiles once more before exiting the room.
Memories rush into my head as I look around the room. Did Justin really get stabbed or was it also a bad dream? Still trying to comperhend everything, the door swings open and my mom walks in with a cup of coffee in her hand. There are two big bags under her eyes from the worry and lurk of sleep.
"Mom.." I say hoarsely. She glances up at me and smiles tiredly at me before sitting down next to me. "You're awake.." She says whilst making her way to the seat next to me. "You look tired.." I say as I rub her cheek. "Go to sleep.. I'll be here when you wake up." She smiles at me again and puts the cup down on the sidetable. "Only if I must." She gets comfy in the chair and leans back while closing her eyelids and falls straight asleep. Two minutes don't pass and I already hear her quiet snores.
I slowly remove the blanket from me and get off the bed, quietly make my way out of the room. "Emily." Someone suddenly calls my name. I freeze as I see Erin approaching me. "What are you doing outside your bed?" She asks. "I need to see Justin." I say, not even trying to lie. She sighs and grabs my arm, slowly leading me around the halls. "Are you taking me to Justin?" I ask but she remains in silence. Five minutes pass and I'm starting to lose my patience when all of sudden I hear the cutest thing ever. A baby cry.
I automatically grasp my tummy. Even though I know there's nothing in it anymore, I can't help but feel sadness inside me. I miss the feeling of them moving inside me. Of them kicking me hard in the stomach. Of their sudden need in a certian kind of food. Of their heart beating inside me.
As we get closer to the baby cry, my pace slows down until I come to a halt. Erin looks at me with a small smile. "You shouldn't worry. They're alright." She smiles bigger at me and grabs my arm with hers before heading over to the big window that shows the many incubators filled with tiny babies. "They're here because they were born earlier than expected and had a few troubles with breathing and more but nothing you should worry about."
My eyes crazily run around the room, desperately looking for my babies, when Erin all of sudden points at something. I follow her finger until my eyes stop at two connected incubators with two tiny babies in it. My eyes slowly land on the name that's on the side of the incubator and almost cry as I see the name "Bieber".
These are my babies. My two beautiful babies.
"Aw, don't cry." Erin says as she wipes my tears. I didn't even notice I was crying. All of my focus is on them. My children. "Do you wanna see them?" My eyes rip from the babies to stare at Erin in shock. "Can I?" I blurt. She giggles and walks me over to the room, there the nurse clears the chair for me.
As I observe the face, I notice the first baby has Justin's nose and my mouth. Her eyes slowly open to reveal two big grey eyes and her mouth turns into a smile as soon as she sees me. "Hi there, sweetie. It's me. Mommy." I mumble with a huge grin on my face while waving at her as she smiles bigger at me. She looks like an angel.
I move my eyes towards the other baby and start to observe her, too. This one actually has Justin's nose and mouth. Her eyes are also grey since she was just born and there's a hint of brown on her head. She smiles a toothless smile as I start to hum them a random melody.
She's so beautiful. Both of them. To be honest, I'm glad I got pregnant. It was like the destiny was trying to tell us we belong together forever.
~A Week Later~
After a week of lying on my bed in my white cold room, taking millions of pills and being checked by lots of doctors, I'm finally allowed to leave my room and wander around the hospital.
Not hearing anything new from Justin yet, I hurry off the bed towards the counter, where the nurse is. I would've checked where Justin is already but ever since that time I went to see my babies, the supervision around me got much tighter. I couldn't do anything without my mom's permission.
"Hi, can you tell me what room Justin Bieber is staying at? I'm his girlfriend." I quickly say. She just laughs at me and continues to eat her lunch. "I'm serious! My name is Emily Stevens, you can look us up!" I let her know. It's so weird to say that... This time the nurse stops laughing and looks me up on google. Assuming she found the pic, she tells me the room's number and what floor it is on.
"Room 548, floor 5." I keep mumbling it to myself so I won't forget it as I make my way to the elevator, up to fifth floor. I wander around the halls with an IV until I find a big, large, white door with the sign 'Room 548' on it. I take a deep breath and lay my hand on the knob of the door, slowly opening it just a bit so I could peek in to see if it's the right room.
Through the tiny crack I made for myself, I see Ryan, Scooter, Freddo, Kenny, and Chaz scattered around the room, Pattie is sitting by Justin, holding his hand closely to her mouth while her eyes are closed. Justin is on the bed, lying like a sleeping mummy under the sheets, IV and many other things are connected to his arms and chest and there's the beeping machine right next to him. My heart immediately sinks.
I open the door till it's wide open and stumble in, almost drowning in my tears. "J-Justin.." I stutter, horrified. Everyone in the room moves their attention to me except of Pattie, who's still praying hard for her son to wake up.
Chaz reaches out a hand to help me but I reject him and stumble forward to the chair Ryan just cleared next to Justin. I collapse on it and immediately grab Justin's hand with mine, squeezing it hard till I can barely feel my fingers. After observing his beautiful, peaceful face, my eyes move down his body to the spot he was stabbed. His whole tummy is covered with bandages. I couldn't help but sob loudly. Many hands grab my shoulders for support but I shake them all off and start caressing Justin's bare parts while sobbing some more.
It can't be happening. This can't be real. No way. He's probably just sleeping, and gonna wake up in several hours. It's a prank for sure.
The thud noise of the door closing makes me jump. I look behind me just to find an empty room. I turn my eyes back to Justin and jump once again as I spot Pattie there. I take a deep breath and hold my hands together with Justin's palm between them just like Pattie does. I shut my eyes close and start to mumble prayers under my breath.
"Please, god, heal him. Help him. Wake him up. Don't let him go. The babies finally got here, don't take him now." I whisper quietly as I squeeze his hand. "He hasn't even seen them. Please. I can't do this on my own." My prayer gets cut off when the beeping from the heart rate machine starts to get faster and crazier. Both Pattie and I shot our eyes wide and look at the screen as 3 nurses and two doctors rush into the room. The nurses help Pattie and I stand up before hurrying back to the doctors who are now checking Justin.
I look horrified at Pattie who's covering her face with her hands in horror. Quickly, I wrap my arms around her and hug her tightly. I make her face the wall so she'll relax a bit. "Go be with the guys. I'll call you when they finish." She nods and does as I say. When the door is closed behind her, I finally let myself cry and go crazy of what's happening.
"Clear!" The doctor all of sudden shouts and electrifies Justin with the defibrillator. "No!!" I shout and hurry up to Justin when the panels touch his bare chest, making him rise up and fall back down. "Ma'am, I'm asking from you to leave the room." The nurse that's blocking me says.
"No! Justin!" She holds my arms to prevent me from coming any closer. The beeping sound has stopped and a deadline has replaced it. "NO!" I shout. "Ma'am, please, leave the room!" She starts to push me but I manage to stay in place. The doctor rubs the panels against each other one more time and hits Justin's chest, making him rise once again.
I hold my breath for a moment until I finally hear the sweet beeping sound again. The doctor lets out a sigh full of relief and puts the panels down before exiting the room with his partner, letting the nurses do the rest of the job.
"You may sit." The nurse announces and leaves the room with the other two nurses. I slowly approach Justin and grab his hand while sitting down. My breath is still out of control but I manage to get it somewhat steady. I pull his hand against my dry lips and shut my eyes before leaning on it.
I stay like that till the door opens and the guys come back inside. Pattie sits back in her place and gets back to her old position. I sigh a long sad sigh and just keep staring at Justin's peaceful face.
* * *
The next day has arrived already and I'm still wide awake. I didn't close my eyes or leave my seat or eat at all. How can I when Justin is in a very big risk of dying?
"Emily.." A pair of fingers touch my shoulder. I glance back as Ryan and Chaz stand up. "We're gonna eat." Freddo says. I nod my head slightly and move my gaze back to Justin. "Do you want anything?" I shake my head. "We're still getting you something." He states. I don't move when the door closes behind me. I look up and see Pattie is still there with me. She's eaten something already, though not something big. I guess that's why they didn't ask her if she wants anything, too. She puts Justin's hand down and leans back. "I'm gonna take a nap." She states and snuggles in the chair before closing her eyes and slowly falling asleep. I just keep on staring at Justin.
"Been up all night, staring at you." I start to mumble the words of the song Paperweight. "Wondering what's on your mind. I've been this way with so many before, but this feels like the first time." Memories slowly fill my head from that night. That night it all began. "You want the sunrise to go back to bed. I want to make you laugh.." My finger runs through Justin's chest whilst I sing. "Mess up my bed with me. Kick off the covers, I'm waiting. Every word you say I think I should write down. I don't want to forget, come daylight." I press my lips against his hand, kissing it softly.
"Happy to lay here, just happy to be here. I'm happy to know you. Play me a song, your newest one, please leave your taste on my tongue." I smile to that sentence, remembering what he did to me back then. "Paperweight on my back, cover me like a blanket. Mess up my bed with me. Kick off the covers, I'm waiting. Every word you say I think I should write down. I don't want to forget, come daylight." The back of my hand slowly caresses his cheek.
"And no need to worry that's wasting time. And no need to wonder what's been on my mind. It's you. It's you, it's you." My eyes slowly start to get glassy. "Every word you say I think I should write down. Don't want to forget, come daylight. And I give up, I let you win. You win cuz I'm not counting." A small smile forms on my face. "You made it back to sleep again. Wonder what you're dreaming.." I finish the song and look at Justin. Little sobs leave my mouth before I lean my head on his arm and slowly close my eyes with tears streaming down my face.
"Don't leave me."
WHATUP PEOPLE?!
So, like I said before, I'm gonna end the sequel in a few chapters. Guess what? One left before it ends! :OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO the sequel will be FULL of drama! I got so many ideas, you guys have no idea what I'm preparing for you ;)
But, as you guys know me, it takes me YEARS to post chapters and whatsoever, so please be patient with the sequel! I promise it's gonna be good!!
P.S you better read the chapters again cuz in the sequel I'm gonna use many of the stuff I said in the story ;)
AIGHT WELL IDK WHEN IM GONNA UPDATE SO PLEASE BE PATIENT!!
LOVE YOU GUYS!!
Ophir ❤