2016/02/09 Tuesday
Yesterday, Pete and I managed to convince Gerard to give me a short winter break of 2 weeks. Seeing as Mr Bowie had already been off for a week and Pete would be off for the next one. And I'm not sure whether we managed to do it by means of persuasion or whether it had to do with the fact that Pete is the first honest to god friend I've had since the accident.
Andbutso, we also talked Hayley and Ryan into doing a movie marathon with us where we all agreed on watching one Naked Gun film, one horror movie of Ryan's choice, Hayley's favourite film: Love Actually and mine, The Boy in Striped Pajamas. It was arranged that, since Pete and I had the day off, we'd arrange the snacks while Ryan arranged drinks and Hayley arranged popcorn.
I'd never had a sleepover before but Pete told me only good things while he pushed me through the candy aisle in a grocery store. I kept the basket on my lap the whole time and clutched to it like I would've clutched to my legs if I was in a car accident. Oh wait.
Pete laughed when I told him that. But he didn't have a donkey laugh like when he watched The Naked Gun he giggled nervously like he wasn't sure whether it really was a joke or whether he was allowed to laugh at that sort of thing. Which was stupid because if I made fun of myself that meant people were allowed to laugh.
We bought 2 big bags of wine gums on account of the fact that Pete said those were his favourite candy and we bought a pack of jelly beans on account of the fact that those are my favourite. And then Pete bought a pack of bobby pins and muttered something about how he'd need them tonight.
When we got home though, we spent the rest of the day lounging around in the living room where I reread The Boy in Striped Pajamas again and Pete braided my hair back while watching shitty sitcoms on TV. Pete braided my hair over and over again and eventually, when he got bored of that he scrolled through the channels until he found Glee.
I'd previously never watched Glee before so I had absolutely no idea what was going on in the television show but I knew that Pete enjoyed it because he sang along to all the songs and even though I thought reading was more important than staring at Pete, I couldn't look away for long enough to even read a page.
When Glee was over (Kurt broke up with his boyfriend and Rachel broke up with hers) Pete decided to try and get me to join him in conversation even though he was clearly happy with watching TV and I was clearly happy with reading The Boy in Striped Pajamas. He turned down the sound of the TV and turned to me and said,
How long does it take you to read a book? Because I'm pretty sure it's been like two weeks since you started reading that. And I was a little taken aback because nobody had ever questioned me about the reading and rereading of The Boy in Striped Pajamas. But because no one had ever asked me that, I didn't have a programmed response.
It took me awhile but I couldn't come up with a quick quip to me and I decided that I'd rather answer him honestly. I'm just rereading it. I answered, trying to keep it short. Because technically it was true. I didn't have to tell him that I'd read it at least 100 times before and he didn't have to know that it was my favourite.
Oh. Pete said, turning his attention back to the TV but only for a second before he turned back to me and said So it's taking you two weeks to reread it? And, without meaning to, I felt myself blush. I didn't like blushing.
No. I've just reread it a couple of times this week. I answered and I waited for Pete to laugh. I waited for him to make a joke of me, to tell me I was stupid and for a fleeting moment I wondered whether I would survive it if he had laughed at me. But, even before Pete answered, I decided that I didn't care.
Because people who laughed at me are stupid. And people who make jokes about The Boy in Striped Pajamas are stupid. But especially people like Pete, who really shouldn't be making fun of people on account of the fact that it would be very easy to make fun of him.
It's a really good book. I said when he didn't respond. Pete answered with a nod but I could tell that he thought it was weird that I kept rereading it over and over again. I didn't have anything to say to that so we just stared at each other for a while before Pete started laughing with his donkey laugh.
I didn't know what was so funny but before I knew what was happening I was laughing too. Because for some reason the sound of the TV in the background and the tension in the room made everything a million times funnier.
Hayley came around to the house first and she brought nail polish with her like any of us would be interested in painting our nails at all. She came in her school uniform and took over the bathroom for a good half an hour which was around the time that Ryan knocked on the door in his skinny jeans and grey t-shirt.
We started off the evening with The Naked Gun but Ryan and Pete were the only ones who seemed interested in it. So they watched the film while Hayley redid the braid that Pete had done because, as she said, it's falling apart. But while Pete had used only one clip, Hayley used 7 to clip down all the places where it looked like it might fall apart.
Hayley then proceeded to paint the nails on her left hand with her right hand and then while we waited for them to dry, I painted her right hand but it looked shitty and I went over the lines a lot. Hayley said it didn't matter though because the nail polish on her skin would come off when she washed her hands. And I thought that was interesting so I remembered it in case I ever needed to paint someone's fingernails.
She talked me into painting my nails too. But only on the condition that they were painted black. Because black could at least be passed off as being cool but any other colour wouldn't. Ryan was pretty cool with the nail painting happening and Pete laughed when we showed him but I had a feeling he wasn't laughing because he thought I was a dork. I don't think he was laughing at me.
But what if he was? What if he thought it was strange that we'd painted my nails? Didn't he think it was cool? I felt kind of hurt for a fleeting moment but then I decided that I didn't care because people who didn't like nail polish were stupid. And people who made fun of boys wearing nail polish were stupid. Especially people like Pete Wentz.
When The Naked Gun was over, we watched The Boy in Striped Pajamas because Ryan argued that if we watched a scary movie afterwards, we wouldn't be crying for much longer. Pete said that he wouldn't cry but he did anyway. And then Hayley asked what the sleeping arrangements were going to be and said that I had no idea.
I don't know how he did it, but Pete convinced Gerard to let us drag the mattress off of my bed and into the living room so that we all had a place to sleep seeing that all 4 of us would be able to fit on a double bed. Hayley stayed with me in the kitchen while we made hot chocolate and the boys moved my mattress from my bedroom to the floor of the living room even though they had to carry the coffee table into the dining room and move the couches right against the walls.
We watched Silence of the Lambs as Ryan's choice but we all bundled together on my mattress each wrapped in our own blanket. I sat between Hayley and Pete, snuggled up between them and hoping that my legs didn't get in the way. Hayley didn't say anything through the whole film but she did mess the popcorn all over us when she got a fright.
Ryan didn't say anything either, except when he got frightened because then we could hear him taking in sharp breaths and trying to talk to the people in the film. Pete made stupid jokes about all the people in it, but he made the most jokes about Hannibal Lector and I think that's how I knew he was most afraid of him.
When the film was over, and we were sure everybody was wide awake we watched Love Actually which was a stupid movie that Hayley loved. Ryan offered to go make popcorn even though it was 2 in the morning and Pete fell asleep leaning on my shoulder but I was happy even if Love Actually was a shitty movie.
Because I was warm and I was sandwiched between Hayley and Pete after watching my favourite film ever. And when Love Actually was over, Hayley said she'd rather sleep on one of the couches. And Ryan joined her because he said sleeping in bed with 2 other guys was gay. Pete agreed.
So he stayed on the mattress.
And because I have Useless Logs of Fat™ instead of legs, I had no choice but to lie next to Pete in the dark, pressed together in an attempt to get warmth. Eventually though, when I heard Ryan's breathing slow down and get into sync with Hayley's I wondered whether Pete was awake still. Because I was sure after the movie marathon that he was my best friend and I wanted to tell him before I forgot or, worse, chickened out.
Pete? I whispered into the darkness. And Pete rolled around next to me, so that we were facing each other and I could just barely make out the features of his face.
Yeah? Pete replied and he didn't sound tired at all. In fact, he sounded like he'd just watch a series of horror movies and wouldn't be able to sleep for the next week. He was probably thinking about Hannibal Lector.
You know how I like The Boy in Striped Pajamas? I asked him, even though I knew he'd say yes because he'd seen me reading it and watched the movie with me. Even though he cried.
Yeah. He answered, like I knew that he would. I didn't even hesitate, my favourite part of the whole thing is when Bruno takes Shmuel's hand and tells him that they're best friends for life. I thought back to the pink highlighter on the last couple of pages in The Boy in Striped Pajamas.
And then, when Pete didn't say anything, I took his hand in mine and I stared blankly into the darkness, trying to find his face and tried my best to look right into what I thought was his eyes but very well might have been his mouth.
You're my best friend, Pete. I said into the quiet. My best friend for life. Pete didn't answer but I heard his breathing stop like he was holding it in for a while, like he was thinking of a way to tell me that I was stupid and he actually really didn't like me.
But, instead, he moved closer to my face. He moved so close that I could see his face in the hazy darkness. His nose was almost touching mine. I could see his long, dark eyelashes blinking slower than normal eyes would have and I could see his eyebrows twitching.
And before I could look at the twitching of his mouth, I could feel it. Because Pete was kissing me. And I didn't know what to do so I stayed deadly quiet and held my breath just like he'd done before. And then Pete rolled over, said good night out loud to no one in particular and I knew he was pretending to fall asleep but my breathing slowed before his did.
But when Hayley and Ryan left earlier this morning, Pete lingered after they'd already gotten into his car with unkempt hair and messy school uniforms. And he told me that he was sorry. That it was a heat of the moment sort of thing and that he'd make sure it never happened again.
And I said that it was fine, that he didn't have to worry about it and that it could've happened to anyone. What I didn't tell him was that I didn't want it to happen to anyone. I only wanted it to happen with us.
Because last night, when he did it I wasn't sure what to do or what to say because I was so surprised but now I was sure, if he did it again I'd kiss back. And I'd make sure that he knew.
Regardless. I'll see him on Friday.
Mikey.
Because my friend is turning 29 tomorrow and instead of buying him a tie like everybody else I bought him some marbles.
Seeing as you've lost all your marbles, you can have some of mine.
Happy Birthday, you little shit.
My favourite thing ever right now is me. But I guess amateur magicians are pretty cool too.
Undying affections from yours truly,
Brendon.