First Impression: summary sounds interesting!
This is a really well written story! I really like your writing style, and upon your request, I only read the rewritten parts. I like how you show us what kind of characters Kailey and Justin are right off the bat, and we can really imagine them in our heads. I also like your descriptions, because they aren't too lengthy or too short. Everything flows nicely at a good pace, and you captured my attention the whole time. I wasn't bored at any of the parts, and I like how you slowly unravel the plot and drop hints about what is going on at Kailey's home. I like how you show us, instead of directly telling us. You convey emotions really well, which is great, especially for this story. I might have missed it, but I didn't seem to catch the age of Kailey. Is she a high school student? If so, how would Danny go to the same school as her?
Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)
If you are feeling nice, I would greatly appreciate it if you give one of my stories a read, follow me, or give me a shoutout! If you enjoy making art, I would love for you to make something for one of my stories, and I will post it!
Lastly, please comment below a rating of how helpful this review was for you. (out of 5 stars) Be honest, it will really help me! Thanks :)
- bluecrayonlady