HARRY'S POV:
Whew! What a MORNING! Never expected all THAT, in a million years! But as usual, Janel always surprises the crap out of me with her amazingness. And her curiousity. I swear, if I was a cat...I'd be dead from just being around her, after this morning.
I still couldn't believe she kissed me! And we...I guess we made out. Or snogged. Whichever. But yeah. We did all the above.
And every second was more worth it than I imagined it would be.
I still couldn't believe sometimes, that I've had a girlfriend for a while now, and never kissed her until this morning. I mean, almost every other girl I've been with has had s.ex on the first date. Some were...just s.ex. And others, they waited a few weeks. Besides my first love. We waited a little while for s.ex. But then it was all the time, once we "popped the cork" shall we say.
So I've never gone soooo long without s.ex, since I was like 16, and it's really bizarre.
And all that mastu.rbation talk this morning....AWKWARRRRRRRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've never talked about it with anyone, besides, again, my first love of two years. We had lots of s.ex in those two years, and some even after the two years. So we've done probably just about everything possible. So mutual mast.urbation was a norm for us. Watching eachother. Doing it for eachother. Everything.
Everyone else....was just mostly plain sex. I wasn't with anyone else long enough to get that comfortable and experiment and have variety in our routines.
So yeah. Talking so openly about it with Janel this morning still had my head spinning.
I hoped that I explained things in a more "I'm the boyfriend and I'm more experienced than you" way, instead of a "health teacher" sort of way. Either way, I just hope she understood it. Meaning, I hope I explained it right.
It was kind of cute, and very refreshing how she doesn't actually know that the words she said were supposed to be embarrassing. Not many people feel comfortable talking so openly like she does. I'm digging it, anyway. Heh heh. Love her.
My mind just kept hopping from our kissing to our talk. And hearing her describe in detail exactly how her body felt when she was turned on....THAT was a turn on!
Mini was listening the entire time. But I was good at ignoring Mini. If I let him rule, we would have probably either mutually mast.urbated right then and there, or just gotten to the point and had s.ex.
And I can't let that happen. Not yet. I WILL hold off on this, dammit! If I have to run to the bathroom every 5 minutes, I will!!
Janel and I ate our breakfast mostly in silence. We had worked up an appetite, for sure. Without doing much of anything.
I didn't know why I didn't tell her about my little trip to the bathroom earlier, when I admitted wanking off the night she touched my hands and arms. I guess since it was literally minutes ago, I didn't want to freak her out. Or because it was minutes ago, I felt embarrassed. And a little guilty. For what, I didn't quite know. But no one tells their special someone every time they have a wank. So.....why start now? I wouldn't expect her to tell me, if she learned to do it, every time she did it.
Although...it would be hot as hell to hear about.
Yep. That was definitely Mini Me speaking.
After breakfast was cleaned up and we did the dishes together, we layed on the couch together quietly. It was a nice silence. It always was, with Janel. There were no such things as awkward silences with her. It just always felt natural with us.
We layed side by side and hugged a little, and I could tell she was anxious to try out more kissing.
I didn't blame her. I remember my first kiss. It was like an entire new world was opened up. Like, "I can do this now." So I'm sure Janel had lots of lost time to make up...or...make OUT for. Heh. See what I did there? So I initiated kisses, which she was happy to return.
When our kissing started getting a little too....passionate, shall we say, we were pressed up against each other tightly, laying on our sides and I could feel her noticing my noticeable lump pressing into her. I could feel her distraction as she sort of ground herself around it, as if she was trying to feel what was there all of a sudden. She seemed to rub against it and press it a lot with her body. I wondered....
So I figured it was time for another quick lesson. I couldn't hide it anymore, if we were gonna make out all the time. She needed to know.
I pulled away from her beautiful face, and ask her if she noticed a lump in the way down there.
She had. I knew it. I asked her why she didn't stop and ask me about it, and she said because kissing me felt so good, she didn't care. And (and this is where Mini started leaking, needless to say.) she also told me that she sort of liked whatever it was, because when she squirmed her body around to try and figure out what it was, it felt good when she pressed her privates up against it.
I had noticed her doing that. I wasn't sure if she was still just feeling around, or if she noticed it felt good. Either way, when she told me that, it was fvcking HOT.
So I told her about hard ons, and how after a while they leak liquid, sometimes a lot of it. I told her how good it felt for me, when she pressed against it. And I told her how guys touched themselves. I used my fingers on my right hand to demonstrate on my left hand's fingers. I told her about se.men and sp.erm, and that it was called come... And anything else that came to mind on the subject.
She was all ears. She didn't say much. She was a good listener, as I'd noticed in the past. Not just when she was hearing about s.ex, but about everything I'd say to her. She always listened, whole heartedly. Always acknowledged what I'd said. Thought about it. Asked questions. Showed she actually cared what I was feeling or thinking. That was new and refreshing, too. I wondered how long that would last. In this day and age of phones and all.....
I found myself venting to her all the time, when I needed to. And she was there for me. And she vented to me, as I had told her she could if she needed to, also. And I hoped I was as good a listener as she was. I'm sure I was, because I was truly interested in her every day trials and tribulations, as she got used to her new life. I fvcking love this girl. But anyway, I digress.......
When the subject of my pen.is died out, she asked if I was done teaching her stuff for now. When I laughed and said I was, she pulled me close and got right back to kissing, as if we'd never stopped. Did I mention I love this chick?
Sneaky Janel, always the brave woman, I shouldn't have told her how badly it tortured me when she'd press into my hard on. Because she kept doing it while we kissed and stared in each other's eyes off and on. When I'd squirm and groan, she'd laugh at me. She liked torturing me! So she WAS a typical woman! Teach her a little about s.ex, and she's already figuring out how to use her body to tease men.
Lovely. <3
I could play her little game, though. And I told her I would. I'd press into her, with my stiff di.ck, right where I thought would be the perfect spot. And SHE would be the one gasping and shivering. Only she wouldn't pull away like I kept doing. She wanted more. She pressed in harder.
She would probably mast.urbate right on my hard on if I'd let her. So even playing her game back, I was still losing. Because I'd STILL have to be the one to pull away when it was too much for me.
This waiting thing was gonna be HELL, I officially knew.
After her not pulling my hips away from her as much as I wanted to one time, and it was REALLY feeling good, and I could feel myself being almost to the point of not being able to pull away, I told her if she didn't stop, I was going to have to get up and go touch myself in the bathroom, because she was gonna make me come, any second.
She didn't like that idea, because she didn't want me to leave her there. I felt too good, she said.
I loved our little game of s.exual torture, actually. It reminded me of when I was a teen, and every bit of contact with a girl was a huge accomplishment, and sometimes I'd secretly come in my jeans. Luckily, I'd never been busted. Thank God. It was amazing to me that this little bit of contact could be THAT exciting to me, after all the s.exual experience I already had.
We'd stop kissing and stare at each other, me rubbing her face with my fingers, her rubbing my arm or shoulder. I had put on a pair of cloth shorts earlier. She was in short pajama shorts, and a spaghetti strap tank top. So you see how this body contact felt sooo good. We might as well have been naked.
And then we'd get slowly back to kissing. I think we did this for hours. I didn't know. Didn't care. Didn't check the time. Didn't stop looking at her. Didn't care that there was an entire world out there. Didn't care that I was Harry Styles. Musician. Supposed to be working on new songs. The world could wait. I was busy. I was in love. More than ever before. What I thought was true love before, felt like baby stuff, compared to what I felt for Janel. And that was wonderful, and scaring the sh.it out of me at the same time. Love scared the fvck out of me. Because for me so far, it always seemed to end at some point. And that end was the most painful thing I could think of in life. So I hoped that Janel wouldn't get all street wise and realize there was more out there for her than me. I hoped she didn't only love me because I happened to pay attention to her when no one else did. There was always a part of me that was scared of that. I'd usually talk myself out of that doubt by remembering what she said about when she first met me and liked me. But still.....it's fvcking scary. And having taken the fall quite a few times, I could picture myself going completely mental enough to live in her old group home if someone broke my heart again. Even though I always knew that it would happen again. And maybe again. Because that's life. But I had a habit of getting SOOO swept away in love, that it seemed worse for me than for everyone around me.
But I was willing to fall completely for Janel. She seemed like the first girl to actually deserve the deep love that I had to offer.
I had to stop thinking so much about the future, and concentrate on making the present perfect, so there'd BE a future! I could very well break my OWN heart if I wasn't careful.
My thoughts were keeping my torture more at bay. And I think Janel could tell that, because when I zoned back in to the the moment, she was kissing her way down my jaw, and down onto my neck.
BOING!! Back to torture mode. She was headed towards my spot. I wondered if she'd find it. I closed my eyes and gave a slight moaning exhale as she trailed around my neck. She probably had seen this in the movies, cause I hadn't done it to her yet. I kissed around her face and chin, but I didn't stray too far. She was being brave and bold again.
Before I knew it, her lips had my earlobe between them, and I could hear her breath in my ear. She licked and sucked at my earlobe now. And my entire body jerked. Especially from the waist down. She was definitely getting closer.......
I could feel the coldness of my wet spot in my shorts against my leg as my hips involuntarily bucked against her as hard as they could. The more she licked and svcked around my earlobe, the harder I pressed. She was literally driving me fvcking crazy. And then.....she found it. She went underneath my earlobe, and I moaned. That was it. I couldn't believe she found my sweet spot. Gets me every time.
She must have noticed my reaction to her attention to under my earlobe, because she lingered there. Sucking, licking, behind my ear, down my neck a little bit, and back up....she was relentless. She knew she was winning the game now. She had to know. Because she Just. Wouldn't. Stop!!
I guess here starts a sm.ut warning.....
I was losing control, and fast. I felt like a monster feeding on being against her body. I grabbed her back and pinned her against me tighter. Probably too tight. This made her hips grinding into my hard on even more focused, which felt even more fvcking fantastic. I buried my chin and lips in her hair and kept her squeezed to me. I couldn't stop my hips from grinding. Faster and faster. My breathing was so fast now. Almost like pants, more than regular breaths. Her breaths were fast now too, I noticed in my ear. Oh my fvcking ear. Shivers were going up and down my spine over and over. There was a full puddle in my shorts now. I could hear it make a "tic tic" sound as her hips pushed my di.ck through the puddle of prec.ome.
"Janel", I managed to groan out in a low, strained voice. "Janel....you're driving me crazy. No. No Janel. I'm serious. I can't. I can't hold back anymore. I mean it. Janel. You're gonna make me come."
"So, go ahead. You'll feel relieved, right?" she whispered in my ear. I was just getting a HINT of my wits about me when she stopped licking my ear to talk, but then she wasted no time getting right back to it! Damn her!!
The entire day of being turned on to the point of di.ck leakage, even with my quick wank in the bathroom was all too much now. There was no stopping. No turning back. No controlling myself. No being a gentleman.
I opened my eyes and pulled my chin out of Janel's hair and brought my face towards hers. I couldn't even think now. I didn't know what I was doing. My co.ck was pressed against Janel's crotch so hard, I could possibly be hurting her. I didn't know.
"Janel. Last chance. I'm gonna come now. Stop if you..................no. No. Don't stop.
Do...not.....stop......" The feeling of no return came over me in mid sentence and instead of telling her to stop, I was telling her to keep going. If she were to stop this second, I would have to quickly finish with my hand. Oh God it felt so good.
I swung my top leg over Janel's legs to get any possible centimeter closer against her. I pushed her chest into me from her back, my hand reaching up and grabbing a fist full of her hair, tight against her head. I pulled her head back and off of my ear with that fist. I heard her gasp. I looked down into her eyes, and she locked eyes on me. "Janel" I croaked out. I thought for a split second I could see red inside them. Red desire. That's what the look in her eyes was like. Full of lust.
I pulled her head back a little further and my lips sank onto hers as my body started convulsing. I hum.ped against her like a rabid dog as my di.ck started throbbing with each pulse of come that shot out against the inside of my shorts. "OhGod.......Janel. Janel. OhGod...No....I didn't want this....no......I....ohGodYES...." I panted into her lips. I couldn't breathe that way, and I pulled her head away with my fist still wrapped tight in her hair in the back of her head. I finished the final spas.ms and panting against the side of her face. My hips bucked a few final times along with my spas.ms and I took a huge cleansing breath and just froze there against Janel. My cheek was on top of hers. My leg was on top of hers. My fist was still tight in her hair.
I managed to loosen my grip on her hair, and move my leg off of her.
I lifted my head off of her and shamefully looked into her eyes. My breath was coming back now. My wits were coming back now. And my guilt at what I had done was just starting to taunt me.
Then I noticed a tear leaking down her eye and across her nose towards the pillow her head was leaning on.
"Janel? What's wrong love? What's....did I hurt you? Oh God....I hurt you...." I panicked as I looked all over her face for some sort of clue.
"That was......beautiful, Harry" she sniffed, still breathless. "I want to feel it too. Please. Please let me feel it too. I feel like it was going to happen...."
"Oh God Janel! I'm sorry! I'm soooo sorry! I told you...I couldn't stop...I lost control.....ok.... ok.....what do you want me to do? What felt good?" I asked her frantically.
"You. Against me. Your..." she put her hand down to my di.ck above my shorts. It wasn't hard like before. Though it WAS still hard, I was amazed to notice, so soon after having such a strong "O".
"Go ahead love. Push yourself against me. As hard as you need to. Pull my body against you. Do whatever feels great to you. Tell me what you need." I told her as I thrust my hips forward as far as I could, to give her a better angle to grind on. She moved her body against me again and thrust her hips out to meet my stiffness bulging under my pants still.
I was sooo tempted to just put my hand on her. But I had already broken my rules, and I didn't want to go any further. But was I being fair to her? I knew how she felt right now. I had just felt it a minute ago.
My mind was tortured back and forth. Do I mast.urbate her? Do I let her grind on me? How bout I tell HER to put her own hand down there to finish herself off?
GOD, WHAT TO DO??????????
All this flashed through my mind in split seconds as she tucked her face into my neck and rocked her body up against mine in a frantic rhythm. I grabbed her hair gently this time, and pulled her head out of my neck. I locked eyes on hers, and they were locked in a dreamy org.asmic lust. I pulled her head back some more, and tucked MY face into HER neck this time, and started licking and sucking all over. I made my way up to beneath her earlobe, just to see if she liked it too.
She did.
Her hips did the same thing mine had done when she touched my earlobe. They thrust into me harder with a new frantic faster rhythm. She began to gasp with each quick breath. The faster she hum.ped into my now even stiffer co.ck, the louder her breaths became, until they formed actual quick moans. Feeling her body lost in pure lust against mine was such a turn on. I was rock hard again. But I didn't care. I was lost in Janel's pleasure. I wanted to see her come for the first real time in her life. I svcked her earlobe and gave her some whispered words of encouragement in her ear. "That's it Janel. Come for me baby. Yes. Feel my body against yours. Hold me tighter. Push yourself against me. I love you. I want you so badly...." I had to stop talking to her, because I was driving myself crazy. When my lips left her ear, and my tongue trailed down her neck, I felt her whole body tense up. I knew she was just about to come. Her frantic grinding became quick, short, focused thrusts against me. I was sure she'd found her cl.it and was rubbing just that against my di.ck now.
Her panting became quick and short now, suddenly. And her voice rang out with each one.
Her whole body started shaking violently, from her chest to her ankles.
I was losing my fvcking mind. My innocent and pure Janel was coming against my di.ck.
It was almost bitter sweet to watch. I pulled my face up to hers. I didn't want to miss a second of her reaction to her first org.asm, which she was in the middle of right now.
Her eyes were closed tightly. Her mouth was wide open. Her thrusts against me were now in rhythm with her shouting panting breaths. I had just noticed her arms were wrapped around me so tightly, I'd probably be in pain if I wasn't so lost in her ecstasy right now.
She had quite a few "after shocks" that shook my entire body as they made her jerk against me against her own will.
"Harry.....Harry..............................Harry" she cried out a few times at the end, trying to catch her breath from her high.
Another after shock rippled through her body. And a few seconds later, another, final one.
She gave a shudder with her upper body, and she opened her eyes and focused directly on mine.
She looked in a dreamy state. I kept quiet as I smiled at her, letting her recover as long as she needed to.
She looked like she just woke up. Her eyes were half open and droopy. Her upper hand was flat on my chest. Her mound was still pressed against my extremely hard bulge. I didn't dare move, knowing her cl.it was probably very sensitive right now. I wanted everything to be perfect for her.
"Harry......that was.........amazing!" she giggled lightly with her weary, dreamy eyes. "Why didn't you want to do that with me?"
"Oh Janel, I WANTED to do that with you. You know this. I want to do MORE than that with you.
I just feel like you should wait a while longer. I don't know. It's what my gut tells me to do. I don't want you to ever have any regrets in life, when you look back. That's all. If it were up to just me, I would have made love to you MONTHS ago. I'd make love to you right this second.
But...you told me you'd trust me, and wait, right? So please, if not for you, then for me, Janel....please be patient, ok?" I told her yet again. Although I was losing my reasons why, now. I could barely remember WHY I was torturing us both and making us wait to make love. But I knew there was a good reason to start with, so dammit, if we had every other kind of s.ex possible, I was still gonna save intercourse for the right time.
"How did that feel, love?" I asked, hoping she'd tell me every single detail of every thrust and shudder and groan. I felt like a proud parent, asking their kid how their first day of school was. Wanting to know every detail of the wonderful event. Only this was.....quite different. Heh.
"Oh my God, Harry. I can't believe it. It was so....I don't even know! I can't even describe it? Everything you told me would happen, happened. I felt it in my privates. I felt it spread through my legs and make them weak and shaky. I felt it ripple through my stomach....I even felt it in my breasts. It was so wonderful Harry, I don't ever want you to make me wait for that again. I could do it all over again, right now. It feels....SOO. GOOD! You were sooo right! It's the BEST feeling EVER!!!!"
I guess the sm.ut is basically over at this point....
"I'm so happy for you, Janel. You have no idea how happy I am that you just experienced that. Do you realize you went from not being able to touch or be touched by anyone, to having a form of s.ex with a man? I'm so glad it was amazing for you. And it was amazing for me too. My God, Janel. You brought me back to what it's like being a teenager again. And it is fvcking AWESOME.
You are so sexy, Janel. Did you know that? You are HOT. And you feel so good. And your body is so damn perfect....." I stopped, fearing that I would make her too self conscious.
"Harry, YOU are so sexy. And so perfect. I love your body. I love touching it. I love when it's all the way against me. I love feeling your pen.is through your clothes. You make me feel so good. I can't believe your pen.is mas.turbated me? Is that right?" Janel laughed at herself.
"Yeah...well, sort of. You sort of mast.urbated with my pen.is. There's a difference. If I did the moving around to make you org.asm, then I would be mast.urbating you with my pen.is.
ANYWAY...holy sh.it, Janel. What a day! I never expected all this to happen so soon.
That was like....so damn good. I mean that. I can't even imagine how much better it could possibly feel when I finally make love to you. Oh my God." I shook my head and rolled my eyes. Janel laughed, sort of shyly.
"Do you have any feelings of regret?" I asked her seriously now.
"No? Why would I?" she responded quickly.
"Ok. Just checking. I want you to always tell me how you feel. Good or bad. I always want to know, ok?" I reminded her.
"Of course. And you have to tell me how YOU feel, too. Ok?" she warned me.
"Gladly. Because I feel so MANY things with you." I told her.
"Janel?"
"What?"
"I'm still going to sleep on the couch, you know." I informed her.
"Ok? Why...." she trailed off.
"Because I still have not seen you naked. And I still have not made love to you. And I think sleeping with you in bed would make it way too tempting for me, and I might lose control. Again. Only worse this time. And I don't want to do that. And I see how you learned to play little womanly games with your body today, and you pretty much tricked me into coming, you know. And as great as if felt, and as much as I loved it, and wanted it and needed it, I hadn't wanted to do that with you just yet, you vixen, you!" I scolded her.
I really had NOT wanted to do any of this with her yet. I wasn't ready to dry hu.mp her. That was the only regret and guilt I felt. It was too soon, still. What I was waiting for, I didn't quite know. But I was waiting. That's all I knew. And Janel learned in one fvcking day, how to use her body to get what she wanted, like all women do. And I was a little bit annoyed by that. But at the same time, I was delighted by it, in a per.verted way. I would have to be really really careful around her now that she knew how to get what she wanted from me. Because all it would take was the wrong move, and she'd have me past the stopping point again. I'm only 23, after all. There's only so much I can take, as a man!
"I'm sorry Harry. I really am. I remembered seeing movies where the people kiss all over the other person's neck, and lick their ears.....and I just thought I'd try it. And the way you reacted....it startled me, but every move you made felt....natural. Right. Even when you pulled my hair. THAT felt good, even after it scared me at first. And I sort of couldn't tell if I was hurting you or if it felt good, so I was so nervous....but I figured if it hurt, you'd stop me, right? So I figured I'd keep going until you stopped me. And it felt so good on my va.gina, I couldn't stop. The taste of your neck...the taste of your earlobe....the way you were breathing....it all just........I couldn't stop! I'm so sorry. I really didn't do it on purpose. Mostly." she laughed at that last word. I laughed too.
"Remember I told you that some people like to have s.ex that's a little rough? A little painful? I didn't mean to pull your hair....but I felt so damn good in that moment, I couldn't even think. And that was simply my body's reaction. I'm sorry if I startled you at all. But I'm glad you liked it anyway." I added. "Now remember, baby....if you feel that urge again, whether I'm here or not, you can touch yourself now that you kind of know what feels good down there."
Janel smiled a smirky smile. "I guess so. But...I don't really know how to do it by mySELF. Just against you."
"Oh no you don't, lady! You are NOT gonna trick me into more!" I started to get up from the couch. And moving around reminded me of the HUGE sloppy, sticky, leaky mess in my shorts. I came so hard, there had to be a God damned pint in my shorts.
When I looked down, I noticed Janel's crotch area of her shorts, and it was soaked, too. Probably some her, some me mixed together. And.....I shouldn't have thought that last thought. Mini sprang to attention. Fvvvvvvck!!! This no s.ex thing was gonna be fvcking IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!
"Please Harry?" Janel whined from on the couch still. "Please just show me what to do, and I'll do it, and I'll leave you alone! Or else I will try to trick you, because I feel the urge NOW again. And I see your pen.is sticking out. That means it's hard, right? That means you're hor.ny, right? That's what you said...."
"Fvck! Yes, Janel. I'm hor.ny. Dammit. What are you trying to do to me?" I whined to her.
"I JUST want to know HOW!!!!" Janel half yelled.
"Janel! I told you! Put your hand down there, and feel everywhere, until you feel a spot that makes you want to keep touching it! Then nature will tell you what to do. Just like it told you how to grind against me! You didn't KNOW how to do that, right? You just DID it!" I half yelled at her back, in sheer frustration.
"Right now? Put my hand down there right now?" she wanted to know.
".............if you want? Go right ahead. Just put your hand UNDER your shorts. Don't take them off. You'll give me a fvcking heart attack. I can't take much more today." I told her. "Ya know what? I'll go in the bedroom and change my shorts. You can tell me when you're done."
"Please, Harry. Please stay with me?" she begged.