Carl leaned in, so his face was inches from mine. I expected for him to whisper something, but when he shut his eyes and titled his head slightly to the right, I panicked. After realizing what was going on, I turned my head away from Carl's soft lips, which had been slightly parted in anticipation of the kiss. I turned back to him a few seconds later. He looked incredibly hurt.
"I'm sorry.. I just... I don't want a relationship.. now.. it's just.. I.." I tried to explain before falling silent in defeat. I felt like I was an awful person for doing such an awful thing to such a perfect boy at such a perfect time. Carl just nodded glumly before standing. I scrambled to my feet beside him. I rushed over to the ladder and climbed up it slower than I would've liked to at the demand of my shin. Carl followed as I waited at the top. He removed the stakes which kept the ladder from sliding down the cliff and put everything in his backpack.
We started the trek home, the previous events playing over and over in my mind. It sounds cliche but it was true; the almost-kiss truly was a mental recording which played time after time. I felt more and more hollow and upset, trying to walk off the ache radiating in my shin with each step. Unlike the walk to the hidden cave, I stared at my feet. I couldn't bring myself to look up at the trees and wonder innocently about life. Carl remained silent, staring ahead. He seemed angry or disappointed or both.
After another 10 minutes of walking, I could no longer ignore my screaming shin, and asked,"Can we take a break?" Carl nodded sharply and sat on a nearby boulder. I did the same and lightly put pressure on the area surrounding my bruise. Carl remained completely still, which caused me to eventually look up. Carl was staring at me, and didn't bother to shift his gaze when I noticed.
I sighed and said,"Okay, I get it. You're lonely and stuff. I honestly do enjoy your company, but I don't want to get involved in a relationship. In this world, relationships only end poorly. I decided that a long time ago." He finally decided to stop staring at me and looked down at his lap. I sighed again, laying back on the boulder. I shouldn't have even tried to be friends with Carl. Now we couldn't be friends and I had gotten my hopes up for nothing.
"Can we just forget it happened?" he mumbled, looking down at me with his blueish eyes. I nodded, feeling the relief spread across my face. He nodded as well, adjusting his sheriff hat to cover his eyes. I reached over, as I did last time, and moved his hat to reveal them. He smiled at me, but only with his mouth. I could see that he wasn't genuinely happy.
I stood and said,"I'm ready if you are." he stood beside me and we started walking again.
"How far from the prison?" I asked. I probably wouldn't be able to act natural around him for long periods of time, so I hoped it wasn't too far.
"Like... ten minutes?" he suggested.
"Are you asking me or telling me?" I asked with a small, friendly smile. He grinned and shrugged.
"Good luck trying to figure me out!" he exclaimed.
"I wish I could." I muttered absentmindedly. I felt Carl staring at me so I looked over at him. His brow was furrowed and he looked confused.
"What do you mean?" he asked. I could see his eyes working to figure out what I meant.
"Oh.. uh.. nothing. Just being absentminded." I chuckled, trying to act casual about it. He raised his eyebrows.
"When you say something absentmindedly it means you were thinking about it." he said firmly.
"Can we just drop it?" I asked, slightly annoyed at his pestering.
"Nope!" he exclaimed, popping the p. I rolled my eyes. He was going to attract cammies.
"If you shut up so we don't get killed maybe I'll tell you," I practically snarled,then mumbled "sorry."
"You don't have to tell me." he muttered, looking hurt. Not as hurt as when I rejected him but still pretty hurt.
"It's really not a big deal. It's just I can always tell what people are thinking or feeling. I always know when I'm annoying someone. It prevents a lot of fights. I can tell you, like, whether someone's being honest or not. I can't with you, though. It's weird. That's why I was surprised when you told me to jump into the cave. I didn't know that you were joking."
"Really?" he asked. I nodded simply. "That's awesome! I'm invincible!" he cried out, pumping his fist. I giggled as he ran in circles around me.
"So, Carl!" I exclaimed. He silenced himself and slowed down to walk next to me. "Is Daryl insane?"
"What?" Carl asked simply, "I mean, yes. But why do you ask?" he asked. I chuckled at his response.
"He's got this gorgeous woman who's good at everything and he's not pouncing on her!" I exclaimed. It was so obvious!
"Wait, you're interested in Daryl?!?" he cried, practically panicking. I burst out laughing.
"Uh, I WAS TALKING ABOUT CAROL!" I said, facepalming. Carl laughed along with me. He was probably relieved.
"Good, I think he's maybe just a little too old for you," Carl joked,"but everyone else feels the same way. I think Carol even likes him. Daryl's just secretly a giggling school girl that's too afraid to ask his crush out."
"Seems legit." I said, laughing. Carl just nodded.
We eventually reached the prison and slid in through the hole in the fence, Carl going first, then holding it open for me. I half expected him to let go when I was halfway through the fence but I guess he was above that. Or he just didn't think of it. I lightly grasped the chain link to keep from falling and Carl retied the hole with finesse when I'd made it through.
We stepped inside the prison and I breathed a sigh of relief. No one was there waiting for us. It had only occurred to me a few minutes ago that anyone who had read the note probably thought something much less age-appropriate was going on.
Of course, Daryl's boots came thumping into the room. It just had to be Daryl.
"Where the hell have ye' been?" he asked. His face was twisted in anger and worry.
"Didn't you read the note?" Carl asked, falling into his usual place on the chair. He tilted his hat up out of his face and I grinned at him. Maybe I could break his negative habit of hiding his eyes!
"What note?" Daryl scoffed, shifting his weight to his right leg.
"Maybe the one on the table?" Carl suggested, raising his eyebrows and holding back a smile. Daryl strutted over to the picnic table which had been dragged inside. His eyes skimmed over the short note and a smirk crossed his face.
"Oh I see what's going on." he grinned knowingly. Carl snorted and I blinked heavily. I had already imagined this scenario but it still caught me off-guard.
"Daryl! I... no! I'm only fourteen!" I cried. Carl hadn't even denied it!
"Or fifteen..." Daryl said slyly, thumping back out of the room. He'd even been able to turn my inability to know my age against me! I stared at where his face had been, still fairly shocked.
"Jesus! You're all a bunch of pervs!" I said, shaking my head and laughing. Carl chuckled at that.
"How else do you suggest we pass the time?" he asked, pulling the hat down over his eyes again.
"Damn it, Carl! Keep your freaking hat up!" I joked, stepping over to push it back up so I could see his eyes. He just smiled and rolled his eyes.
I plopped down onto the musty old couch and stared at Carl, who stared right back. I eventually stood up, unable to sit there awkwardly anymore.
"I'm going to go talk to Beth." I improvised. Carl nodded and I walked in the same direction Daryl had only a few minutes earlier. I glanced into Hershel and Beth's cell to find her feeding Judith. I decided to leave her be. She looked like she needed a break from everyone other than Judith. I trudged to my room to get some much-needed rest. I laid down on my bed, pulling the blanket around me despite the warmth of the autumn air. As soon as I was comfortable and ready to relax, I realized I could read some more of Gatsby. I sighed before shoving myself into a standing position.
When I reached Carol's cell, the book was there without a reader. I took it off of her 'nightstand', an empty banana crate. I was glad that I had already asked to borrow the book. I wasn't exactly in the mood for searching around the prison for Carol. I just wanted to read and maybe sleep.
I trodded back to my cell, probably looking like a cammy -erhm- a walker. I collapsed onto my cot, pulled the blanket over my legs, and began reading. The writing was so pleasurable and in such an elderly writing style that I was lost in the book almost immediately. Trinity arrived at the cell door, which I didn't notice until she said my name a few times. I held up a finger to signal her to wait as I finished my sentence. I glanced up and she smiled, which seemed to take a great amount of effort. She dragged her feet over to stand above me, then kissed my forehead.
"Everything okay?" I asked, genuinely concerned. She nodded.
"I was reinforcing fences all day. Cammies are pretty good at tearing them down." she responded, clearly barely awake. She began to climb to her bunk and I refrained from asking any more questions. I'd learned since the beginning of the apocalypse how to prevent fights. One, keep your mouth shut when someone's tired or annoyed. Two, alone time is required once in a while. And three, do not question Trinity's methods of doing anything, from cammy-killing to tying her shoes. Avoiding arguments is quite the skill when you are forced to constantly spend time with your sibling.
I shut my eyes against the peace in our cell, the book still beside me.
I woke up only an hour later, which I confirmed by taking a quick glance at the small alarm clock on the ground next to our beds. I had awoken to find myself completely buried in the blanket, the sheets kicked down to the foot of my bed. I did that frequently, it's like my body doesn't know how to fully shut down or something. After emerging from my cave and checking the clock, I began reading again.
Later, after reading for roughly half an hour, I was interrupted by Carl's voice asking, "How's the book?"
"It's like how I imagine my mom's cooking would taste right about now." I said, setting the open book down on my chest.
"And what does that mean, Captain Code?" Carl asked, a playful smirk taking over his face.
"Uh, stupid nickname, but it feels nostalgic and bitter-sweet. I miss reading all of the time just like I miss my mom's cooking every night.' I said, practically tasting her lasagna on my dry tongue.
"What does nostalgic mean?" he asked.
"God, do you know anything?" I huffed. I smiled afterward so he knew I was kidding, even though I hadn't been originally.
"Nope!" he exclaimed, then continued,"I thought we were going to read that together."
"What? Gatsby?" I asked, confused. He nodded. 'What do you mean? We never discussed this." I said, laughing a little. What the hell was he talking about?
"You know, like it could be our thing. And Daryl would make fun of us but we wouldn't care. We'd just enjoy it." I wondered if he was actually talking about the book as he said that, or if he was, in his mind, discussing something else.
"Um, sure?" I agreed hesitantly.
"Okay, then stop reading. I'll catch up to where you were. That way I can read it to you and I'll know what's going on." he ordered, leaving the room before I had a chance to respond.
"Dear lord, that boy is completely and utterly in love with you." Trinity announced from the top bunk.
~Author's Note~
HELLO! I know, I am a bad person. I CAN EXPLAIN! I just started school, along with soccer which has a practice or a game every day but Sunday. So on top of soccer practice and games which are directly after school, I do homework. THEN, I'm in the gifted math program at UB (A college) which is on Mondays and Wednesdays after school for 2 1/2 hours each day. They also give six hours of homework (At least) each weekend. And I only have Sunday open to do it, because I'm usually exhausted from soccer on Saturdays. HOWEVER, TODAY SOCCER PRACTICE WAS CANCELLED DUE TO RAIN/LIGHTENING! PRAISE THE LORD! A CHANCE TO UPDATE! So please, just do not think I've forgotten about my giraffes, because I actually wrote most of this during study halls, and I just needed a chance to type it. I still love you all! I tried to make this chapter extra long because of the delays, but I didn't exactly succeed... I'M SO SO SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT! I can only hope you'll forgive me. D= Anyway, have a lovely day/night! ~Julia
PS. Do you like when Nikki (mentally) corrects herself for saying cammy instead of walker? That's something that's easy to change! =]
PPS. Does anyone read the author's notes or should I make them shorter, longer, or stop doing them? XD Thanks for your input.