Janel's POV:
I watched Harry rush away. He was so handsome. And so nice. All I could think is, will I ever see him again. I certainly hoped so. But I knew in my heart, that I probably wouldn't. Why would he come back? I'm nothing. I'm nobody. I'm just a lonely girl in a group home. I have nothing to offer anyone. And I'm not normal. I have nothing going for me.
But I hoped I'd see him again. There's always that stupid hope, that I try not to let get out of control in my mind. But sometimes, you just can't help it but HOPE.
Stupid hope. Always hurts me in the end.
If he DID come back to see me, that would also be bitter sweet. Because then I'd get to be with him more, but I'd get attatched. And sooner or later, he'd leave one day and never come back again. Just like Greg. The only other person to ever talk to me for longer than 10 seconds. He befriended me in the park one spring day. I was sitting on someone's body heat spot on a bench, and he came and sat next to me. He started talking to me, and even though I was awkward, silent, and slow to talk, he kept talking to me.
And the next day when I walked to the park, Greg was there, on the same bench, waving me over to sit with him. And the next day.....and the next......
For a month or so I'd see him at the park. And we'd talk and walk around the park for hours. When it was rainy, we'd sit in a stone tunnel under one of the walking paths and talk. He talked a lot. More than me. He always said "I need to talk today."
The staff at my home noticed a change in me soon, too. They were so happy to see me happy. To see me coming out of my shell. To see me having something to look forward to each day.
It was the best time in my life, ever, up to that point. The first time I realized life could be a little bit fun. Life could have a reason.
And then one day, he didn't show up at the park. I sat on a bench waiting, and he just never came.
I waited for hours.
And the next day....no Greg again.
And every day for 10 days, I waited for hours, sitting on the bench. Walking around, but sticking close to the bench in case he showed up. And when it rained, I waited in the stone tunnel on the two huge rocks Greg had rolled over for us to sit on.
The staff started to notice my sadness right away, even though I tried to hide it. I didn't want to be that sad girl to them again. I liked them seeing me happy. Seeing me sort of normal. I didn't want to go back to what I was before. A girl, lost in the world, with nothing.
But eventually, that was what I became again. Only a little worse now, because of the hurt. The mourning. The loss of the only friend I'd ever had.
At first, I worried about him. Maybe he was dead or something.
Then I saw him one day, walking down the street. He was walking with a girl. And they were holding hands. Just like the happy people in the park.
It was a horrible feeling inside. Now I knew why he never came back to see me. And that feeling felt worse inside than when I thought he was dead. At least he could have said goodbye. At least.....
I shook off the pain I started to feel as I remembered how people just leave you. And how I knew that if Harry came back, he'd do the same thing. Maybe soon. Maybe later. But eventually, I'd hurt again. And it would be horrible. A horrible lonely sadness.
Maybe I don't want Harry to come back, now that I'm thinking about it. Maybe if he comes back, I'll stay in my room. That's probably a better idea. Why put myself through this again? I already know how it ends. Everyone leaves for some reason.
My real parents. They left me. My adoptive parents. They left me, even though I was glad. I was still left all alone in this life. Greg. And Marcus. Marcus will be back someday, I hope, but he still left. And while he's gone, I have no one. Marcus is another resident here. He's my age, and his story is sort of the same as mine. Only he wasn't found in the woods. He was taken away from abusive parents when he was 14.
And somehow, he ended up here. This is where we went to school together. They put us both in the same grade, because we were so alike. Slow. We didn't know as much as other kids our age, so we had to be in lower grades than we should have been in. So no one wanted to be our friend. But we had eachother, until school was done. It was a special school, but still no one liked us.
At the home, we stuck together most of the time. When Marcus was having good days, that is. He had a lot of bad days. Days when he wouldn't come out of his room. Days when he'd lay in bed and cry from morning till night. Days when he'd act out and become uncontrollable and have to be locked in a special room with cushiony walls and floor. Those days made me sad for him. And for me.
But on the good days, they were good days. We'd sit together in eachother's rooms, and watch movies. TV. Listen to music. We didn't say much, because we didn't have much to say in life. But just being together was nice not to be lonely. Marcus didn't like to be touched, either. So we were perfect friends.
But a month ago, Marcus got transferred to somewhere else. I knew he was going, but they took him earlier than they had said they would, and I was out walking around when he left. So I didn't get to say goodbye to him. He didn't want to go. He was scared. But they told him it would help him feel better and have more good days. I can't wait until he comes back. IF he comes back.
Or he'll just be another person who left me.
Just like Harry will.
And George. A staff member. He was a caretaker here for 2 years. He was a black man. And he was my favorite staff person. He was funny. He always joked with me, even though I never laughed. I'd smile though. And for him, that was enough. He knew I was laughing inside. He was the one who gave me my radio. Because of him I discovered music. He said he got a nicer system, so I could have his old one. He taught me how to use it. He taught me to dance, also. Fast, slow, silly, serious...
He'd come visit me every day after his rounds. He was always happy. Always in a good mood.
It wasn't just me he'd visit and make happy, of course. He made every resident here happy. He visited everyone. He made everyone smile and laugh. Even the other staff.
But then one day they said his sister from another state was sick, so he had to go and take care of her. So he left. It was a sad time for everyone here in the group home. He said he'd come back and visit when he could. But it's been a year already. I hope he's doing ok. I hope we see him again.
_______________
With too much sadness starting to overtake me, I turned and went into the home. Harry had turned the corner up the street a few minutes ago, on his way to his meeting, so I had been staring at that spot long enough. It was probably dinner time anyway.
I walked past Tammi at the reception area. And past Bonnie, who said "I hear you have a friend, Janel!" But I simply said yes, and kept walking. Straight to my room.
And I sat on the bed and thought about Harry. How he came over to me out of nowhere. All the things he said to me. How he smelled. How his deep, raspy voice sounded. How he had cute dimples when he smiled. He had a really nice smile, too. His lips....they were smooth and shapely and pink. I thought about how his brown curls hair shined in the sun. How the skin of his forearms was inked everywhere with tattoos. Even one on his hand. How I'd wanted to feel his body heat so badly, but didn't get the chance.
It was getting late now, and as I had predicted, Harry hadn't come back to see me. I knew he wouldn't, but....my stupid brain always tried to give me a little hope, only to have me crash down in disappointment in the end every time.
I decided I wasn't hungry tonight, so I closed my door and put my earphones on. I played my favorite songs by Harry Styles. I liked his voice. He sounded like a nice person, just by his voice. I could get lost in his songs for hours. And sometimes I did. I played his songs tonight, because I'd met a guy named Harry today, so it was only fitting. Getting lost in his music until, I was lulled into a great sleep for the night.
HARRY'S POV:
When I opened my eyes, the first thought I had was of this Janel girl I'd met yesterday. I didn't get to go back and see her last night like I told her I would. But I'd covered my back and told her if I didn't, I'd come today for sure. I hoped she didn't think I'd forgotten about her.
I had some time off today, with a few appearances later on, so I got up and got moving quicker than I needed to, so I could get over to the home.
The home. It sounded so strange. She lives in a group home. She could have serious mental problems I don't know about. What will people say if they catch me going in there to spend time with a resident there? Why is she there? She seems pretty normal. Why don't they let her get a job and get her own place? Maybe I could ask the employees there when I go back.
I brushed my teeth, put on my last clean flannel and the same black jeans and some flat sneakers, and shuffled my hair around on my head till it looked semi in place enough, and left my hotel room for the group home.
When I got to the doors, I felt weird about going in. Do I ask for her? Will she be where I can see her? Is she even here right now? I shook my head and just went for it.
I went to the receptionist and said "I'm here to see Janel".
A middle aged looking woman whose name pin said Bonnie said she's not here right now. I didn't expect that, actually.
"She's walking around the town or the park. She'll be back by lunch, most likely", Bonnie told me.
"Are you Harry?" she asked me with a friendly smile.
"Yes. I'm Harry. Nice to meet you...Bonnie", I held out my hand to shake hers.
"How do you know Janel?" Bonnie asked curiously.
"I saw her from across the street yesterday, feeling a street pole, and I was curious what she was doing or if she needed help, so I asked her. And then we got to talking, and she seems like a great girl, and I'd like to see her again...be her friend. Seems like she could use one, from talking to her", I told Bonnie.
Bonnie had a stern look on her face and you could tell she was deep in thought as she stared at me for an awkward moment.
"Listen...I'm glad you're befriending Janel. I just hope you are doing it for the right reasons. And if you plan to suck her into a friendship, please don't desert her at the drop of a hat, ok? She's had that happen to her before, and it was really really hard on her. I'd hate to see her go through that again.
So if you have time for her once in a while, great. But if you don't, then it's probably best to keep it really light and sparse. She's had a hard life. I only want the best for her, ok?
I don't mean to put you on the spot...it's just that Janel's life wasn't....isn't NORMAL, so you have to be careful with her, is all I'm saying" she ended with another friendly smile, with a hint of pity in it.
"I understand. I can tell by just talking to her yesterday, from the little bit she's told me.....she's had a hard life. And I won't promise more time than I can realistically give her. But she seems like a really nice girl, and I'd like to be her friend. And I do appreciate any help you can give me with that. Anything I need to know? Anything about her that will help me not freak her out or anything? This is a strange situation for me, and I don't want to hurt her, but she seems a little jumpy sometimes", I informed Bonnie, hoping she'd have a little advice for me.
Bonnie stared at me sternly, lost in thought again. She gave a sigh or two, as if she was trying to make a decision. Finally she opened her mouth as if to talk, but paused....."Ok. What if I give you her file to read through. I won't tell her. You can tell her if you want. That will tell you her story, and anything you need to know about her. Then you can decide easier if you really want to continue the friendship or not, before she gets too attatched. Would you like that? Oh, and, 'shhhhh'!! Our secret. You'd have to tell Janel to shhhh also, if you tell her you read her file. It's a breach of privacy, but she's been here so long and she shouldn't have been. She should be out in the world by now, with a real life, so anything I could possibly do to help her, I'll do. And if being friends with you helps, then I want you to have every chance at it" Bonnie looked at me, eyebrows raised in question.
"Umm......I dunno.....I......I'd feel like I was invading her privacy, behind her back. How about I ask her first. If she says yes, then I'll take her file. It would just feel wrong reading it without her knowing first" I told Bonnie.
"You know what...I like you already. Ok. Here..." she wrote a number down on a piece of paper. "This is the number here, and this...is my name and cell number. When you want to see Janel, call the main number, and if you want her file, or have any questions, call my number. Alright? You can check the park, or maybe youll see Janel on the street if you wanna walk around and find her. Or, you can call later, to see if she's back ye......t. Never mind! Here she is now! Perfect!" Bonnie sounded happy.
"Janel! Perfect timing! You have a visitor, honey!" she yelled across the lobby as soon as Janel got in the second set of sliding doors.
Janel looked up and stopped walking, and her jaw dropped open as she stared at me.
"Um...hi Janel. I told you I'd be back today if I couldn't make it last night", I said awkwardly. Her beauty was distracting me today. I didn't notice it that much yesterday. I saw she was pretty, yes. But today....she looked......beautiful to me.
Janel looked around still with her jaw dropped, and walked towards me. "Hi Harry. How are you today?" she said slowly.
"I'm great. How are you? Did you enjoy your walk?" I responded. I felt awkward with Bonnie watching our every move.
Janel looked at Bonnie and smiled, and Bonnie gave a warm smile back to her. Surely Janel liked this staff member. She didn't seem fake at all. She seemed to really care about Janel.
"Do you want to sit outside?" Janel asked me. I nodded and she led me back out the doors, and around the side of building opposite the parking lot. There was a patio surrounded by a short fence on the side of the building with benches, round picnic table sets and chairs. Janel sat at one of the round tables. I sat in the chair next to her.
She looked at me for a while, before a smile spread across her lips and into her eyes. "You came back" was all she said to me.
"I promised you I would, didn't I? I wanted to see you again. I enjoyed spending time with you yesterday. You're the first thing I thought of when I woke up this morning..." I cut myself off, in fear of saying too much and scaring her away.
"So what do you want to do? Just sit here? Or take a walk? Or come see my home, see my room...?" Janel asked me, as if she had rehearsed it.
"Hmmm....I could take a tour of your home, sure. I'd love to see your room", I told her.
I was curious what her room was like. Was it like a typical 20 year old's room? Or was it like a hospital room? I hoped it was warm and typical. Not like an institution. Surely Bonnie at least wouldn't let her live that way, right? Tammi, maybe. Bonnie, I thought not.
"Can I just have a smoke first? Do you mind?" I asked Janel. I needed a smoke. I was sort of nervous about seeing her home.
"Sure", she said.
So I smoked a cigarette while she sat looking around at the changing trees blowing gently in the breeze. She seemed to take it all in as she looked around. Once in a while, I'd catch her looking over at me. And she'd quickly turn her eyes away, which made me silently laugh to myself. She was so awkward, it was "cute".
When I'd had enough drags of my smoke, I put it into the dispenser and gave her the signal for "ladies first". She got up and I followed her back inside. This time, through the side doors by the patio after typing a number code in beside the door.
We were in the cafeteria now. It wasn't plain and white like I'd pictured. It had lots of round tables, some without chairs, and some with chairs around them. I guessed there were plenty of people in wheel chairs here. The walls were a warm yellow, with sort of Tuscan decor hung on the walls. Like an Italian eatery.
We walked across to the hall and she led me around the long way to the right. I could tell that the left would have brought us to the lobby again. The right was a long hall with many rooms on either side. Inside most rooms were residents. Some sitting and rocking on their beds or chairs. Some staring blankly at a TV hanging on the wall. Some sleeping. Some in wheel chairs. Once or twice, I heard a strange shout or scream for no reason coming from a nearby room. At the end of the hall, we went left. More rooms. More people. And left again at the end of this shorter hall, on the parking lot side of the building. I asked her what was in the middle of the building, if this was a square. She said there was a door back in the last hall, and the whole middle is the recreation area. It's where they spend time relaxing or doing crafts or having visitors or seeing movies all together, things like that. It was the community room. She said she didn't go in there much. She preferred being in her room, or the lobby just outisde of her door. Or walking around the city.
As we came up to the lobby outside of her room, which was just a couch, two chairs, a coffee table and some fake plants in an indent in the hall, she turned into her room, next to it.
It did feel warm, I was relieved to know. Her walls were a medium purple with white trim. Her bed was a normal bed. Not an institutional one like I'd seen passing the other rooms. And her bedspread was lime green, with plenty of different colored and different shaped pillows on it. She had a table next to the bed with a stereo set up, and stacks of cd's. On the top of the pile, I saw the two Harry Styles cd's.
One was opened and empty, and the other was peeking out below the opened one. I smiled.
Connected to her stereo was a long curly cord leading to a set of big comfy earphones by her pillow.
She had a small lamp on the other side of her bed, with warm light. She didn't turn on the florescent light in the ceiling. Her two windows were covered by her lime green curtains that matched her bed.
In her closet I could see a few different colored hoodies hanging, some jeans, a bunch of tee shirts, and tank tops, and a pile of probably dirty clothes in a small basket on the floor in there, next to a few pairs of flip flops, two pairs of cozy, fuzzy slippers, and a grey pair of low top Chuck Taylors.
It looked like a typical girl's room for someone her age. I wasn't too sure about the purple walls though. That seemed sort of youngish.
"How long have you had purple walls?" I laughed and asked her, as I looked around more.
"Since I was 15. I liked them when I was younger, but now I'm tired of it. They just don't have money to paint rooms all the time if it's not peeling off, they said" she said as she looked around with me.
"How do you keep people out of here, keep them from touching your stuff?", I asked then.
"I just close my door. No one really touches anything. Sometimes residents will wander in, but usually not" she told me.
"Are these all the cd's you put on your mp3 player?" I inquired as I looked through them.
"Yes. Bonnie's son helped me burn them onto a computer, then downloaded them into my player. He was happy to do it, because then the music was on his laptop for him to listen to also" she smiled.
"Ahhh.....hahahaha....clever dude, Bonnie's son!" I joked. "So what's in your cd player right now? Harry Styles?" I asked Janel.
"Yes. He's my favorite of all the music. There's two cd's of his music. I love the first CD more, but I love them both in different ways. His first CD seems more....there's just something...raw that I like about it." she told me, sounding perfectly normal and like she knew what she was talking about. WHY is she here, though??
"Something raw, eh? I like how you describe it", I told her, intrigued and flattered.
I had to know......I had to ask......"Did you ever see any of Harry Styles' videos?"
"Yes, I saw one", she said.
"So do you know what he looks like at all?" I asked her nervously.
"No. Not really. The one I saw was a bunch of people partying, so I don't know which one was him.
I don't usually watch videos. I usually watch movies on Netflix."
I sat on her bed and looked at her. She didn't know I was Harry Styles. I figured not. But just making sure. Should I tell her? That would probably make her day, right? Or would it scare her? Would she fan girl all over me? Tell all the staff? Then they'll tell everyone THEY know......ok. No. I can't tell her.
Not yet, anyway. Not until I can safely tell her to keep it quiet about who I am. Or something.
This was stressing me out. I didn't want to lie to her. And it was fun to hear what she thought of my music, not knowing it was MY music. Not often I get to hear what people are REALLY thinking.
"Hey, Janel....I was wondering.....can I ask you something?" It came out of my mouth before I had time to be nervous about it. Crap. Now I have to ask her. "Bonnie told me she doesn't want you to get hurt by me or by anyone, and she offered to let me read your file to learn your story, so I can be a better friend to you. But I told her no, not unless you wanted me to read about you" I felt so bad saying this. This isn't an ordinary conversation you have with someone. "So.....how do you feel about that? I don't need to read it. I still want to be your friend. Other people you meet in life don't come with a file to try to understand them better, that's why I don't need to read it. But, if it helps you....if it helps me understand you better and not hurt you in any way.....then I don't mind reading it. If you want. It's up to you. What do you think?" Whew. I got that out. That was uncomfortable.
Janel sat in the chair by on the opposite side of her room. A cozy black papasan chair. I had just learned what those strange looking round "cup like" chairs were called, recently at a celebrity's house. Love those things. Must get one for my flat when I have a chance.
She looked at me for a while. I could tell she was thinking hard.
"Sure. You can read it" was all she said, and she looked down at her flip flopped feet. It's November...she's still wearing flip flops.
I like her.
"Are you absolutely sure? Is there anything in there you want them to take out before I read it?" I checked.
"Nope. There's not really anything terrible. Just the story of my life, as much as they could gather, I guess" she said.
"Ok. I'll take it when I leave today. I have some...errands to run later, but I still have plenty of time to hang out with you before that. Oh, and Bonnie said you can't tell anyone that she's letting me read your file. She could probably get fired if anyone finds out. It's a privacy thing..."
"Yes. The files are private. I won't tell anyone. Bonnie is like a mom to me. If that's what moms are supposed to be like" she said with a bit of sadness at the end.
I continued to sit on her bed, and her in her cozy chair. She seemed to feel more comfortable as the hours went by. We talked and asked eachother questions and I put on some of her Beatles cd's in the background as we talked. Beatles matched the deeper mood, I figured.
Then we sort of ran out of things to say for a while, so she turned on her tv on her dresser next to her chair. "Do you want to watch tv or anything? I'm sorry it's boring here. Or we could go for a walk, or if you have to leave..." she asked me.
"No, I don't have to leave for another hour. Why don't we get something to eat? I'm starving" I offered.
"Umm...ok. I forgot to eat lunch I just realized" she said with a silly smile.
Walking past Bonnie at the reception desk, I gave her a knowing nod, that said a silent "yes". Bonnie gave a head shake yes back to me. She'd probably have her file ready for me when I left after bringing Janel back, I'm sure. I looked back after going through the first door, and she had a motherly smile on her face as she watched us walk out. I felt instantly relieved that Janel had SOMEONE who cared for her in this home. That's more than I expected. I'd expected a bunch of nurse like ladies telling me visitor hours were only 12-4pm or something. This made me feel good to know she was treated like a normal person in here. Why she was still there, I still didn't understand, though. A part of me couldn't wait to read her file and figure it all out. I had lots of questions.
JANEL'S POV:
I was having such a wonderful time, "hanging out" with Harry. I never really used that term before. But he used it, so I thought I'd use it. I liked it. It made me feel....normal. I was hanging out with someone.
He was so easy to talk to. And none of the things I told him seemed to make him dislike me.
He was very interested when I told him all about Marcus. I told him how he was my only friend all these years, but how he has mostly bad days, so I have to wait most of the time, just to get a little bit of good time with him. He told me he was glad I had someone. He joked that Marcus and I must have been boyfriend and girlfriend. But no. We never were. We didn't really know about that stuff. And besides....we didn't like to be touched. Boyfriends and girlfriends hold hands and hug, right?
I even told Harry about my not being able to let anyone touch me, and how Marcus is the same way.
Because the only time we'd ever been touched in our lives, it was painful.
Marcus told me some of his stories when we'd "hang out" before. He had more painful times than me, I think. His parents beat him all the time. And touched his privates all the time. And their visitors would touch his privates, too. No wonder he has so many bad days, I've always thought to myself. Every time he'd tell me stories, he'd end up crying. Hard. And curl up like a ball and leave tear stains all over my or his bedspread. I always had an instinct to hug him like I'd seen in the movies. But I was afraid. And I knew he was too. And he'd probably freak out and go crazy if I tried. Even I might freak out and go crazy if I tried.
So all I could do was to tell him that everything's ok NOW. To stop thinking about before. That was another part of life that's over. And now we have to think about NOW, and try to get normal. That's what I did, anyway. I didn't hardly ever think about my old life. I just concentrated on trying to be like everyone else so maybe someday I could walk down the street and hold hands and feel important and have friends and a job and a REAL life.
But me, I was never touched on my privates, that I remember. I just got yelled at all the time. Blamed for being a "pain in the as.s" and a "bother" to my adoptive parents. In the past few years, I've wondered, if I was such a bother, why did they adopt me? I'll never know. So I guessed that's why Marcus couldn't forget his old life. I guessed that's why he'd cry so hard when he'd tell me stories.
Harry stopped at a restaurant called Five Guys Burgers and Fries.
I'd never been there. I'd never been to any restaurants, actually, except McDonald's. I could understand McDonald's, and I knew their food now, and I could order and take it to the park with me, like all the other people I saw with McDonald's bags. It made me feel normal. And I liked spending money, because it's what people did. And I didn't have much else to spend my money on.
Ever since I was in the group home, I got money from the state every month. A few hundred dollars.
I really didn't pay any attention to it, until I got into music, and wanted to have my own music.
There's an account with the state, and I'm allowed to spend it on whatever I want. Bonnie tells me there's a LOT of money in my account, because I never spend much. I don't really care about money like everyone else seems to. I guess because I get everything I need from the home. Food, shelter, clothes....what more do I really need? Not much.
Harry ordered burgers for us, and we sat and ate peanuts while we waited. I smiled because he made a mess with the shells all over the table and his lap. He was funny. I liked Harry. I hoped he'd never ever leave. But I knew he would......
I shook that thought off quick, and decided to enjoy every second I got with him and not worry about tomorrow. Just like I don't worry about yesterday. I just focus on today. And today, I have a friend named Harry, who came back to see me because he promised he would. And he was a lot of fun to hang out with, and I was having the time of my life. Even more fun than I used to with Greg.
The burgers were soooo delicous. So much better than McDonald's. And sooo much better than the group home burgers. I told Harry I could probably not ever eat one of the home's burgers ever again after tasting this burger. For real!
An hour went fast, and soon, Harry was walking me home. He was walking sort of closer to me than before. I felt uncomfortable, but yet....I liked it. I almost wanted him closer. But that scared the heck out of me, too. Sometimes when I was looking down, I'd look at his hand next to me, and imagine it holding my hand, like the couples in the park. I'd get lost in imagining it, and Harry would have to say my name a few times before I came back to reality. I sort of daydreamed a lot. I guess it was part of why I wasn't normal.
We got back to the home, and he walked me up to the doors. We stood there facing eachother, looking down. I'd seen situations like this before, on movies and tv. I knew this is where the guy gets all nervous and tries to kiss the girl, usually.
But Harry was just my friend, so that probably wouldn't happen. Which was good, because I would probably freak out and curl into a ball like Marcus if he tried.
Harry said "oh right, I have to get that file. Is Bonnie still here?"
I told him she probably was. She's here a lot. She's like the head staff lady.
So we walked in, and went to the desk. She looked up at Harry and then over at me for a long second, then bent down under the desk and handed Harry a thick yellow file folder inside a plastic store bag.
She smiled at me and Harry and asked if we had a nice day and if I had eaten anything today. I told her Harry took me for the best burgers I'd ever tasted. She gave him a big smile. Then we walked over to the lobby chairs.
"Well Janel, I guess I should go now. Can I come see you again? Maybe tomorrow? If I have time, that is. If not, I can come the next day...." Harry asked me.
"Sure. Yes. I was hoping you would want to", I smiled at him.
"Ok then. I had a nice time today Janel. Have a good night. See you soon!" he said happily to me.
"Ok. Thank you for the burger, Harry. And I had a wonderful day. Goodbye." I replied. I didn't want to say "see you soon" or "see you later", because I wasn't sure I would. I figured if I never saw him again, at least I had said "goodbye". That made me feel better.
I watched him wave to Bonnie, turn to wave to me one more time, then walk through the doors.
I gave Bonnie a "thank you" and I turned into my hallway and into my room. I collapsed on my bed, and I could smell where Harry had sat and leaned for hours earlier. I layed there inhaling his scent, and thinking back to the entire day in my mind. I loved reliving the days with Harry. I had nothing else to do, so I might as well "spend more time with him in my head".
I didn't even need music to put me to sleep this time. I fell into a deep sleep to images and the smell of Harry.