It was a week before the new crop of staff arrived and the word had gotten out that Bowers and Brent were leaving. While there wasn't necessarily dancing in the streets, there was a much happier vibe to the place. The best part was that with everyone's happiness that Bowers's reign was over a lot of the staff forgot that they were upset at her and started to treat her as part of the team again.
That was until Bowers cornered her one day after breakfast.
Rachel had been late coming off duty. One of the night nurses had taken ill and had to take off duty so it doubled Rachel's work load. She still wasn't forgiven to the point that she didn't get the extra work that came along. She had missed breakfast so she had snuck through to the kitchen to beg some food off of Mary before she turned in for the day.
Mary had just whipped her up an omelet and they were sitting at the large stainless steel counter, Rachel was eating and Mary was sipping on a cup of coffee laughing over a story that Rachel had been telling her when Bowers walked into the room.
"Mary would you please excuse us?" Bowers requested without any other form of acknowledgement to Mary.
Mary looked at Rachel in askance and Rachel nodded that it was all right.
"I told you to leave Mary. Why are you still here?" Bowers spun around confronting Mary, her face contorted with anger.
Mary gave her a thoughtful look before she rose and left.
There was a tense moment of silence while Bowers gathered her thoughts.
"This is your doing, isn't it?" Bowers asked as she started to pace the floor.
"What's that?" Rachel played dumb as she picked up her coffee cup.
"The reason my contract hasn't been renewed. It's your fault?"
"No. I imagine it's Dr. Cooper's doing. Isn't he the one that makes all the decisions? Or maybe he had help from Dr. Lancaster, she's been after him for a while, maybe she finally caught him." Rachel's heart twisted at the thought even though she knew she had just made it up at that moment.
"No, I asked her."
That was unexpected and Rachel tried to hide the surprise she felt that Bowers had felt comfortable enough to go straight to Dr. Lancaster. She didn't doubt for a minute that Dr. Lancaster had thrown her as bait to Bowers.
"Is it possible she lied to you?"
"No, it's not. One thing I know is a liar, and you have been lying since the moment you got here."
Rachel couldn't deny it as she looked at Jolene Bowers in all her righteous anger. She felt sorry for her. If she felt this was her calling then her being pushed out would not be easy on her, but somehow Rachel felt that she was long past feeling that her job was a calling and she was there to serve a purpose, if it had ever been true.
Rachel couldn't think of anything to say to make the situation better, but there was plenty she could say to make the situation worse so she just stayed silent.
"Nothing to say for yourself?"
"Everybody lies about something, even you." Rachel sipped her coffee watching Bowers covertly.
"How dare you insinuate that I lie? I do not lie."
"So then the reason you're so hard on all of the pretty girls is because they're all bad at their jobs, even me?" Rachel watched at Bower's face turned red. It started at her neck and worked its way up to her cheeks. Unable to stop, Rachel allowed herself to finally let go. "Tell me Jolene," she dragged out her name, "Why did you come here, was it to help people?"
"Of course-"
"Then when did it change? When did you give up on helping people and focus only on you and what you wanted? Why else would you send perfectly good nurses home when they did nothing but work hard for this organization?"
"How dare you, how dare you say that I put myself before this organization. You will never know what I have given-up to be here."
"Why did you give anything up, Jolene? You could have gone home years ago."
"Because unlike you, you little whore, this organization is my life."
Rachel's head jerked up as if slapped. "What did you call me?" She was dumbfounded.
"You heard me. You are a whore, the others might have fallen for the story that Jack told Nancy. but I didn't, not for a moment. You came in here and seduced him. You're a married woman, was your husband not good enough, was he ignoring you, do you need the attention of a man to make you feel like a woman?"
Rachel's mouth fell open in shock at the tirade. Nurse Bowers was in love with Jack. Rachel couldn't be mad at her. She should, but she knew what the woman was feeling, and she felt pity for her just like she felt for herself.
"You have nothing to say for yourself?"
"I am not a whore," Rachel said simply, not really wanting to fight her about it. She rose and made for the door, but Bowers reached out and grabbed her arm.
"So you deny being a whore, but you don't deny having an affair with Jack?" She asked, wanting clarification.
Rachel knew it would eat at her like a debilitating disease until she had the truth.
"Jack and I have had a relationship in the past and we are working to figure out exactly what we have now." Rachel said vaguely
"But you did have sex with him. That was why he had your rings."
"Yes." Rachel watched as her face turned from heated anger to ghostly white.
"You slut." Bowers reached out and slapped her making Rachel's head snap to the side.
Rachel thought about rubbing it in, telling her that she didn't know what she was missing, that Jack was the best lover in the world because her anger was that strong, but it quickly faded as she looked at Bowers's pale face and recognized a look that was so similar to the way she felt that she wanted to weep for her.
They stared at each other for a moment before the door opened and Jack walked in followed by Paul and Addie.
Rachel was rubbing her face and Bowers looked close to tears. The other three stood silently waiting for Rachel's next move, there was no doubt that they heard the last of the exchange, and Jack looked severe.
Mary came in a moment later and took in the situation, "Oh dear Mrs. Cooper, that will leave a mark."
If the room had been tense before it was unbearable after Mary spoke.
Unaware of the vibe in the room, or maybe she was, Mary had a way of cutting though most problems to the heart of the matter and with one sentence she had explained everything, she bustled around to get some ice for her cheek.
Rachel, had no sooner had the thought then her gaze tangled with Jack's and she knew he was thinking the same thing.
"As simple as that," Rachel said.
"As simple as that," Jack agreed, his voice having an edge of anger to it despite the humor of the situation.
"Mrs. Cooper?" Bowers asked all of the color returning to her face in a rush.
"Umm, yes, not a whore."
"I should say not! I was there when you two got married."
"You also know Mary that I am still legally Edwards and not Cooper."
"All I know is that they day you married Dr. Cooper you became Mrs. Cooper to me," Mary said handing Rachel and icepack for her cheek.
"Thank you Mary," Rachel said as she placed it against her face.
"Ray, do you want to file a grievance against Jolene?"
"No." She shook her head.
He walked over to Rachel removing the icepack and taking her face in his hands tilting it to one side to see the red mark that Bowers had left on her cheek. He traced it gently allowing his thumb to move from her cheek to her lips. Rachel recognized the look in his eyes. He was angry but he was also hungry. Remembering they had an audience Rachel shifted attempting to look away but he wouldn't let her.
"Jack," she pleaded. She knew that, as always, if he kissed her she would be gone. She would forget about everyone and everything outside the bubble that was them.
He was angry Rachel could feel it in every line of his body. She didn't doubt that he had heard the end of her and Bower's exchange and he knew that Bowers had slapped her. It hadn't been hard for her to figure out Bowers's jealously and why she was jealous, it probably wouldn't be hard for Jack to figure it out either, and since he couldn't hit her back as he would a man, he was going to do the next best thing and hurt her the only way he could.
Had Rachel not been lost in Jack's gaze, or completely upset that he was being cruel to Bowers, who Rachel still felt bad for having been in the exact position she was; loving Jack and knowing her didn't love her back, she might have realized that Jack's complete need to defend and protect her anyway he could was love.
Jack's gaze moved to her lips and she trembled. He slowly moved in taking her lips with his own. At first it was soft but after one taste of him she was unable to not take more. She was addicted to the man. Her arms wrapped around his neck as his hands moved to her hair. She was pressed against him and she didn't know who was kissing who, but when they heard someone clear their throat they both froze remembering their audience.
Jack rested his head against Rachel's as he pulled himself together. "Paul would you please escort Jolene to her room and wait for her to gather her belongings. Then I want you to drive her to the airport and make sure that she catches the next flight home. I think that would be best in this instance, don't you Jolene?" Jack finally stood away from Rachel and turned to look at Bowers.
"Yes," she said softly, not looking at anyone as she made for the door with Paul on her heels.
After they had gone and the kitchen was silent again Jack turned to Mary. "Thank you for your help Mary."
Mary shook her head. "I never could figure you two out but when you kiss like that one doesn't need to figure anything out. It's self-explanatory. Now you all need to leave my kitchen so that I can start to get ready for lunch."
"Addie, will you be able to take over Jolene's position today?"
Addie nodded a stunned expression on her face.
"Good," Jack said before he turned and left the cafeteria without saying a word to Rachel.
Rachel sunk on a bench at a table and laid her head on her arms fighting back tears. She was more confused than ever. How could he want a divorce and kiss her like that?
Addie sat next to her and was silent for a few minutes, allowing Rachel to compose herself.
"I don't know how you didn't lay into her," Addie eventually said.
It was not what Rachel expected her to say. "How much did you hear?"
"We came in about the time she was talking about all that she had given up for the organization and then called you a whore. How did you not go off on her?"
"I feel sorry for her. She's in love with Jack, and I know what that feels like. To love him and know he doesn't love you back. It hurts and I have been where she is, I have felt it all myself so I know."
"The difference is Jack loves you and he doesn't love Jolene."
"No, Jack is fond of me we, have a history, and there is a strong attraction physically, but he isn't in love with me."
"Is that such a bad thing? What did you mean when you said as simple as that? Jack got it but the rest of us didn't. You two seemed to be on the same wavelength."
"Mary has a way of cutting to the heart of the matter with very few words, her Mrs. Cooper was direct and said everything."
"And you both picked up on that at the same time."
"That's not love that's, shared history."
"Again is that such a bad thing."
Suddenly tired of Addie trying to force a square peg in a round hole she lashed out at her.
"He left me Addie! He left me, one day he was just gone, and I was alone. If he loved me he would have never left me alone. I went five years without a word from him, without a word from anyone. I came here in an attempt to move forward with my life, and he's here as heartbreakingly handsome as ever. He knew I was coming, he had planned it like he plans everything, but he hasn't clued me in on why I'm here. It's a cruel game he is playing and I don't know what I did or why he wants to hurt me." She took a deep breath composing herself. "You just saw classic Jack. He kissed me as if I was the most precious thing in the world and then he walks away without a word. Not even acknowledging that I was still in the room."
"That was quite a kiss. You should have seen Bowers's face. She looked as if she had just ate a lemon," Addie said gleefully, totally ignoring Rachel's reasoning.
"I can't be glad about that. The only reason he did it was because he couldn't hit her after she hit me." Rachel rubbed her face in frustration.
"How can you read him so well on that but not get that he is crazy about you."
"It's not a romantic love. He made a promise to my father to take care of me. Not that he did that very well when it mattered." Rachel rose tired of the conversation. "I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm tired and have to be back on duty in seven hours. I'm going to bed."
She walked towards the door and turned. "Good luck today. A new job is exciting. I know you will be awesome at it."
Rachel moved across the compound completely unaware of how she got to her room, undressed, and in bed, but as soon as he head hit the pillow she was asleep, and her dreams were not good ones.
*******
The funeral and the gathering afterwards had been brutal. There had been so many people who had come out to say goodbye to her father and give her and Jack their condolences. It felt like all of Washington had been there.
"Are you all right?" Jack sat next to her on the end of their bed, putting his arm around her waist and drawing her near. Jack had been the one to get her through it all. Without him she would be a blubbering mess.
As she rested her head on his shoulder she shrugged. "If I hear, 'if there's anything you need,' one more time I think I will scream."
"What about, 'I'm sorry for you loss,'?"
"Or, 'he was such a good man,'."
"He will be missed."
"It just won't be the same."
They were silent as she said the last one. "It won't be. They all mean well."
"Yes, they do, and it was nice of them to come and offer support," Rachel readily agreed, "but I am glad it's over."
Jack nodded as he reached up and undid his tie. "How about a pizza and a movie? Does that sound tacky, or should we get crazy drunk and reminisce?"
"Is that what you do in the army?"
"Pizza and a movie?" he asked, deliberately ignoring her question as he stood up moved towards the closet.
Not wanting to push the issue, she kicked off her shoes as she watched him undress. Despite being exhausted the vibe in the room suddenly changed as he shed his shirt and she watched his muscles as they played across his back.
Looking away she slowly started to take her stockings off, trying not to be aware of him across the room. She wiggled her toes in the carpet sensing his eyes on her she looked up and met his gaze.
"Would it be tacky to have an early night?" she whispered.
He let his gaze travel the length of her body. She could sense the heat of it from across the room.
"Are you sure you're up for it? You're not too tired?"
"No, I'm not too tired." A night in his arms was just what she needed. It would make her heart full like it always did.
Jack moved across the room to her and pulled her up and into his arms. "You are so beautiful and so young." He traced her face with his fingers as she closed her eyes, sensing something different in him. Thinking it was the loss of his friend which made any act of love mean so much more than it normally, would she wound her arms around his neck.
Not saying a word he took her lips with his own, and they were both lost to the pain and exhaustion of the past week. It was suddenly just the two of them as the outside world and its troubles fell away.
When Rachel woke the next morning she turned and saw jack sitting in the chair by the window watching her.
"What time is it?" she smiled stretching.
"Early?"
Rachel looked at him fully clothed and sensed something wasn't right. Feeling at a disadvantage, she pulled the sheet up around herself and hugged her knees as she pushed her hair out of her face.
"What's wrong?"
"I've been offered a job in Africa for a few months, relieving a colleague of mine. I think it's best if I go." He leaned forward watching her closely.
Rachel swallowed hard against the cry that was desperate to escape. She knew he had married her for her father, she had thought they were happy and could make it work, but he was telling her the exact opposite.
She wanted to reach out to him and beg him to stay, but she wanted him to want to stay because he wanted to, not because he felt it was his duty to her father.
"How long have you known you were going?"
"Two days, I accepted the day before yesterday"
He had stayed long enough to get her through the worst just as her father would have wanted.
She would not beg, no matter how much she wanted to, she wouldn't. He probably had his fair share of women beg over the years, and she would not be one of them.
"And last night?" She rose suddenly, needing to put space between them. Realizing it would seem silly to clutch the sheet to her, she walked across the room and put on her robe before sitting in the chair across from his.
It was all so civilized. No tears, no dramatics, just a conversation.
"Last night was as wonderful as it always is. I think we both needed it."
Rachel sighed. She couldn't deny that, it had been time away from all of her troubles which seemed to have suddenly compounded.
"I'll put the house in your name."
"No, father left it to you, and I really don't want it. I don't think I could live here even if I wanted to. Too many memories." And there were way too many memories of her mother, father, and now Jack. "Too many ghosts," She whispered.
They were both silent as Rachel worked on pushing back the tears. Now she had no one to call her own, no family, and no real friends she would have to start over fresh.
"I'll be out by the time you return from Africa. I'll probably only take a few things, nothing much."
"Rachel-"
Rachel held up her hand. "It's fine Jack. We made no promises and I really don't want the house."
"What will you do?" He rose from his chair and reached for his suit jacket.
"I'm a nurse, I guess I'll find a job and go from there."
He looked as if he was about to say something, and Rachel knew it would be something that would make her cry. Before he could get a word out she jumped out of her chair and started to gather some clothes.
Jack was standing still at a loss, his hands in his pockets. With everything she had, she walked towards him and gave him a kiss on his cheek. He had given her so much, he had never said he loved her and he had never promised her anything. The least she could do was give him an easy out, one that left him guilt free.
"Safe travels, Jack." She stepped away from him unable to meet his eyes. "I have a lot to do, I best get busy." Not looking back, she moved to the bathroom and closed the door behind, her waiting to hear the bedroom door close.
When it did she let go grabbing a towel she covered her face and started to sob. Eventually, she fell asleep right there in the bathroom floor. Not surprisingly she had a nightmare, and when she woke up she was in the middle of her first panic attack. Knowing in theory what was wrong with her she tried to calm herself down but she couldn't and she blacked out. When she came to it was already dark and the entire day had passed.
Wishing she had died and not recovered, she crawled to the bed and stayed there for a week before she realized Jack was not coming back and she was truly alone.