When they arrived back at the WAMM site that evening Rachel was exhausted. She and Jack had played nice all day, but she could tell he as on the edge of a massive release of his temper.
Rachel had only seen him lose his temper once and it had been an intimidating sight. The doctors had decided that there was nothing more they could do for her father, and Jack had gone over the edge. Rachel and the doctors had both known why. It wasn't their ability or inability to help her father, it was that he was unable to save his friend and that he had to watch him suffer. He had been mad at the world that day, and Rachel had had to be the strong one as he heaped abuse at her and the doctors. Afterwards he had apologized and looked mortified that he had lost control. Rachel had just been glad that she had been able to be there for him, knowing that he didn't mean a word of it. She had seen Jack angry plenty of times but never as bad as that day since he generally was good at holding his temper.
The van ride had been tense. Jack had driven and Rachel had sat in the very back.
The memory of Jack's touch and kisses were so fresh and strong and she knew it would be the last time that they made love so she kept reliving every moment in hopes that it would imprint on her memory, and she would always be able to recall the feel of his touch and the smell of his skin.
He had shaved and his jaw remained ridged, he was also wearing his dark sunglasses so what he was thinking was a mystery to her.
They had stopped for lunch at a friends, and Jack had been his usual charming self, as if he hadn't a care in the world, and for the first time she was aware of what a really good actor he was. It was as if he was able to lock all other feelings away and not even experience them. It was some serious mental willpower. What didn't make sense to her was why he was so angry. He should be relieved that she had understood what he wanted. The only thing Rachel could think of was he still felt guilt.
Rachel had decided to wait a few days, until after Bob and Ava had left, to hand in her resignation. She wasn't sure if it would be the catalyst that would send him over the edge, but she wasn't going to take any chances since Ava had made it clear that any help she might give WAMM was dependent upon her and Jack working out their issues.
She was set to go back on night duty the next evening so as soon as the van stopped she was out of it like a shot, grabbing her bag and heading towards her room and a hot shower then a nap. Having not slept the night before she was starting to feel the effects. Although two nights in Jack's arms would make it hard to lay in a cold bed alone, but she should not have worried because as soon as her head hit the pillow she was out like a light.
Rachel slept the clock around. When she woke the next morning the sun was just starting to rise. It was too early to eat, so she got another shower then dressed and sat on her bed not thinking about much. The decision had been made and a sort of numbness had settled over her making her calm.
When Addie woke and looked at her she sat up in alarm. "What is it, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, just waiting for breakfast." Rachel gave a smile which must have passed muster because Addie relaxed back against the wall yawning.
"I thought you would have caught up with Jack."
"No, there is no reason to. Besides, you need to catch me up on everything I missed around here."
"Nothing much, most of the gossip was about you."
"That's disappointing."
"Depends which gossip you listen to." Addie was silent for a minute. "How is Paul?" she asked in a burst as she jumped up from her bed and started to gather her things to get dressed.
It was like that was it? Rachel was upset at herself for not catching on sooner.
"A dear," Rachel said. "You came up in conversation you know?"
Addie turned to look at Rachel, her face flushed.
"His exact words were, 'Sweet Addie, she's class.'" Rachel watched as Addie turned an even brighter shade of red.
"Did you know he was in the Army with Dr. Cooper?"
Addie nodded. "Yes, we talked about it once. Paul said that it was absolutely horrible, and he didn't even have to see half of what Jack saw." She grabbed her last item. "You'll wait for me?"
"Sure, I have all day."
While Addie was showering and changing, Rachel thought once again about how dense she had been, then with a sigh, knowing that it no longer mattered, she rose and put her hair up in its normal ponytail. She was changing her shirt when Addie re-entered the room.
"Where are your rings?" she asked a worried expression on her face.
She owed Addie the truth because it was going to get worse before she left. "I gave them back to Jack."
"Why Jack?" Addie looked confused, "what do you mean you gave them back to Jack?"
"They're Jacks rings so I gave them back to him?" Rachel pulled her shirt over her head just as Addie sat heavily on the bed.
"Jack's married, your married to Jack?" Her mouth was hanging open.
"Yes, we were married seven years ago and have been separated for five years."
"Well that didn't last long." Addie said without thinking then clapped her hand over her mouth.
Rachel laughed. "No it didn't."
"Is that why you came here, for a reconciliation?"
"No, I had no clue Jack would be here, and when he walked into the intro class on our first day I was stunned." She sat across from Addie watching her absorb it all.
"Was he shocked too?"
"No, I got the impression that he knew I was coming."
Addie shook her head. "Well a lot makes sense now. You don't want to talk about this do you?"
"No, not really, but I will if you want to." Rachel braced herself for a round of Q & A.
"Nah, let's go eat." Addie paused at the door. "Who else knows?"
"Paul and Ava and Bob Schroder." Rachel filled her in on the rest of the trip and who the Schroders were.
When they arrived at the cafeteria it was packed. Rachel noticed that Jack was sitting at a table with Ava, Bob, Dr. Lancaster, and Nurse Bowers. Paul was sitting at a table on the opposite side of the room, and there were a few empty seats by him, so after they got their trays they joined him.
"Rachel told me it was an eventful trip," Addie said smiling at Paul who returned her smile.
"Addie's filled in on everything Paul," Rachel said looking up and catching Ava watching her. She gave a wave and went back to eating. She let Paul and Addie's conversation wash over her as she filled her belly, and she was taken completely by surprise when someone sat next to her. When she looked up it was Ava.
"Good lord that woman is something else." She sat fanning herself with a folder.
Rachel looked over at the other table and noticed that Bob and Jack were talking about something and were either unaware or didn' care that Ava had wandered off to talk to them. Dr. Lancaster looked resigned and Nurse Bowers looked very stern.
"Who, Dr. Lancaster?" Addie asked.
"Ava this is my roommate Addie, Addie this is Ava." Ava nodded to Addie.
"No that Bowers woman, you should really put her in her place Rachel. It is outrageous how high she is on her horse."
Paul started choking on his drink and Addie's mouth fell open in shock at Ava's outspokenness.
"I'll leave that to you Aunt Ava. I think you'll get more enjoyment out of it then I will. Besides, she has never been very fond of me, so I doubt anything I say would have any kind of impact." Rachel ate a few more bites of her food and didn't notice Paul and Addie's surprise at her use of the endearment Aunt.
"Jack doesn't let her mistreat you does he?" She shot Jack a quelling look. He must have sensed it because he looked over at them and his eyes narrowed.
"Nothing I can't handle." Rachel assured her. "Are you going to help Jack raise the money he needs?" She changed the subject, noting that The cafeteria was starting to empty out.
"I know Bob is impressed and will be making a sizable donation." She looked at Addie and Paul once more. They met her look with open honest ones of their own.
"What do you think Rachel? Should I help Jack?"
"Yes.," Rachel said firmly and without hesitation. "Jack and I have our issues, but they're our issues and we will deal or not deal with them, but whatever the case may be I want him to succeed." Rachel looked over at Jack who was laughing at something that Bob had said. "This means more to him than I think any of us realize." Rachel had to clear the lump from her throat towards the end of her statement.
"Fine." She sighed, "But I expect you two to figure your way out of the mess you've made. Your father would be so disappointed."
Rachel didn't have the heart to tell her that one of the problems was that there had always been three of them in the marriage, the two of them and her father.
Ava grabbed her arm. "Come with me to give them the good news. Are we still doing this whole, 'we're not married crap?" Ava asked.
Rachel hid a smile. "Yes, Aunt Ava."
"But you are acknowledging me as Aunt Ave?" Ava's eyes had moved to Nurse Bowers.
"Aunt Ava," Rachel warned.
"Come on Rachel. Time's wasting." Ava grinned at Paul and Addie, and not wanting to miss anything, they were right on Ava's heels as she drug Rachel across the half-full cafeteria.
"Jack, I have spoken to Rachel and she assures me that this is important work that you are doing here."
Jack's face remained mildly amused as he looked from Ava to Rachel. "Is that so, how nice of Nurse Edwards to offer her support to our cause." He was still holding on to the anger only no one else realized how angry he was.
Rachel scanned everyone's faces and Paul was the only one whose eyes narrowed in concern at Jack's tone.
"Ava." Rachel knew the tact she was going to take with Bowers, and it was not going to work to Rachel's favor. She was going to make it appear as if Rachel held the purse strings.
"So I will help you raise the money what else are Aunts for if not to help their nieces." Ava patted Rachel's arm. This time Rachel caught the subtle widening of Dr. Lancaster's and Nurse Bowers eyes at her use of the word aunt.
"Fine, and since Rachel is so supportive of this I think it would be beneficial for her to travel back to Washington with me and Nancy to help raise money, especially since she knows all of the right people," Jack said with a smile that was very insincere.
"Wonderful!" Ava sounded almost giddy. Jack had only helped Ava's cause.
Rachel thought that it couldn't get any worse. She would have to travel with Jack, and she knew she would have to be his wife in public for a little bit longer. They couldn't show up to parties together and ask for support as a team if they were not married.
Rachel knew he was mad, but she had never thought that Jack had an over inflated ego. Was he really so angry that she had taken charge of the situation and ended their relationship? Had he really wanted to be the one to end it that badly? She had thought it was guilt, but now she had her doubts about where his anger was coming from.
The staff that was left in the cafeteria had gone silent watching the scene in front of them as it unfolded.
Rachel couldn't say no so not saying a word she turned to leave the cafeteria.
"Nurse Edwards." Jack's voice called softly. It sounded polite on the surface, but there was a hint of malice underneath.
Rachel stopped, refusing to turn and face his anger.
"You forgot these yesterday morning."
Rachel slowly turned to see him holding up her rings on their chain. "I would hate for you to think you had lost them." Her face flamed red and then she lost all color.
He rose, unhooking the chain as he walked towards her.
The cafeteria was deadly silent as he reached her and hooked the chain around her neck.
"Go to Hell Jack." She choked on the words softly, fighting back tears.
Jack put his hand under her chin and looked into her eyes. "Don't worry I will."
Unable to take his touch any longer, she pushed past him and hurried across the yard towards her room. In just one minute Jack had crushed any reputation she had had left. She had gotten her way. Jack had stuck to her wish and not told a soul they were married, and her penance for being the one to end the relationship was Jack making everyone believe that she was a dishonest person and having an affair with him.
Only time would tell if he had hurt himself in the process since he was now, in the minds of others, having an affair with a married woman, but Jack had never cared what others thought, and that had always been part of his charm. She had little doubt that she would be cast as the villain that seduced him.
She had only given him what he wanted. Why was he hurting her?