‘I now remember why I didn’t go in for the Duke of Edinburgh award,’ said Venus gloomily as she plodded along behind Skye and Pluto, ‘too much walking, too much heavy carrying and nowhere to plug in the hairdryer.’
They had only set off two hours ago and already Venus felt hot, sweaty, tired and irritable. They were trudging up a narrow, rock-strewn track that led steeply into the mountains. The sun beat down mercilessly on their backs and bounced off the red rocks around them. All of them wore broad brimmed hats to keep the sun off their heads. She tried not to giggle at the sight of Pluto’s ears poking through the specially cut holes in his hat. He looked absurd, but he carried himself with an air of colonial grandeur, like some noble and intrepid explorer. She herself had been kitted out in an outfit that reminded her of earnest TV documentaries about yak farmers in the Himalayas; a tunic made of linen, a pair of rather baggy trousers and thick leather walking boots, laced up the front, all of them in dun coloured shades. They weren’t exactly the height of fashion but they were better than pyjamas.
She glanced back wistfully at the Valley of Hope behind them, where she had spent a comfortable night with plenty of food and rest. The last of the crowds were dispersing after giving them a heroes’ send off. Thin grey spirals of smoke from their campfires snaked into the azure blue sky and the horned cattle grazed peacefully on the grassy plain. It would have been so nice to stay there a bit longer.
‘Come on Serenity,’ said Pluto after a few minutes. ‘We must press on.’
‘Oh for heaven’s sake will you stop calling me Serenity?’ snapped Venus, ‘it’s really getting on my nerves.’
Skye and Pluto stared at her, slightly hurt at her outburst. ‘But what would you have us call you?’
‘Venus will do.’
‘Venoos...said Skye thoughtfully.
‘No, Ven- oh never mind.’
‘By Cosmic Lore I am not allowed to call you anything else but by your correct title in my liturgical canon of correctitude,’ said Pluto.
‘Whatever,’ sighed Venus.
They trudged on up the twisting path. Pluto leapt over the rocks and boulders with catlike grace and Skye seemed equally agile. Venus felt disadvantaged and more than a little grumpy. Her clothes scratched at her skin and the leather of her walking boots rubbed at her heels. Only when the sun had reached its noonday zenith, glowering down on them with relentless ferocity, did Pluto allow them to stop under the shade of a sparse tree. They lunched on a rustic meal of coarse brown bread, cheese and the heavy red berries Venus had seen hanging from the bushes the night before, washed down with more water. It tasted surprisingly good. Venus began to feel sleepy and leant back against the spindly trunk of the tree. Pluto brought out a long brass pipe thing and proceeded to smoke some vile smelling tobacco. Suddenly he sat up bolt upright, his whiskers vibrating violently.
‘I sense danger! Quickly! Gather our belongings Skye.’
Seconds later Venus heard the piercing whistling noise coming towards them. She recognised it immediately – it was the same noise she’d heard in the pub cellar. Spy fish! The next thing she knew she was bundled behind a boulder with Pluto and Skye. They huddled together, holding their breath while the whistling sound came closer and closer. Unbearable seconds ticked by while it cruised past on the other side of the rock and the noise slowly receded into the distance. They exhaled with relief.
‘I think it’s gone, Sir,’ said Skye after a few moments. He began to move away but Pluto’s arm shot out and held him back. His whiskers were still vibrating.
‘No!’ he hissed. ‘I can still sense it. Wait a moment!’
Sure enough, a few minutes later the whistling sound pierced through the air again as the spy fish winged back towards them. The sound made her shudder; it was like her gran’s hearing aid going on the blink, but with evil intent. The noise suddenly stopped, only a few feet away from them. They shrank back into the rock face, scarcely daring to breathe, waiting to see what the ghastly little flying device would do. Any moment now and it could cruise silently around the boulder and see them….....but from which side? They waited in an agony of suspense, until finally; the awful whistling started up again and began to recede. It was a full half hour before they dared to move a muscle, let alone breathe or speak. Releasing long-held exhalations, they unfolded themselves from behind the rock and crept out into the open.
‘Well’, said Pluto at last. ‘We must be on our guard all the time. The Chags are sparing no effort in trying to track you down Serenity. These spy fish have phenomenal range, and they relay images back to Chagrinian Base.’
‘They’re horrible things!’ said Venus with a shudder. ‘One of them broke into the cellar in the pub where I was hiding on earth. I suppose it was relaying images back to the Mother Ship above.’
‘Chagrinian technology is more advanced than we ever thought possible,’ said Pluto, ‘for such essentially primitive creatures.’
‘Yeah well, on earth we think of sharks as primitive creatures,’ said Venus, ‘but they’re not. They’re one of the oldest species on the planet, but they’ve got more technology in their noses than the United States Air Force.’
‘That’s why they’ve survived, ‘said Skye. ‘As will you Serenity.’
Feeling somewhat shaken and wary, they set off again down the mountain track, eyes and ears constantly strained for any noise or movement. It was nerve racking. Venus began to think that she would never feel safe or be able to relax ever again. How could she possibly sleep a wink on this mission?
‘Don’t worry, we’ll look after you,’ said Pluto, as though he were reading her thoughts. ‘Skye and I will take turns to keep watch. You will be closely guarded night and day. But you must conserve your strength at all times.’
They trudged on through the hot afternoon, until a rocky pass towered above them. The path split into a fork, winding round different sides of the mountain. Which to take? Pluto scratched his chin and unfurled his map. He frowned at it.
‘Hmmm...I think this mountain has shifted slightly. The fork in the path used to be clearer. We need the one that leads down to the Valley, not up into the higher passes.’
Venus peered at the map. The mountains appeared to be wavering back and forth on the page, and the spidery lines of the paths kept criss-crossing and interweaving. ‘Oh this is a fat lot of use isn’t it?’ she snorted. ‘A map that keeps changing its mind!’
‘Well, so does Ventura; her Majesty did warn you. We have to take an educated guess at where the paths are going to end up leading to.’
‘Haven’t you forgotten something?’ Pluto reminded her. He tapped the Staff which she had shoved into her thick leather belt.
Venus took the Staff out of her belt and held it uncertainly. ‘What the heck am I supposed to do with this?’ she demanded, at the same time thinking very uncharitable thoughts as to where she would like to put it in Pluto’s anatomy.
‘Just close your eyes and rely on your instinct. Inspiration will come to you.’
Venus held the Staff out in front of her. Nothing happened. She shook it. She held it up. She pointed it. Still nothing. ‘See. It doesn’t work. Load of mumbo jumbo.’
‘You are trying too hard Venoos,’ said Skye. ‘Just relax. Remember Andromeda said to use your instinct...you cannot expect things to work like a machine, you have to meet them half way...’
Venus glared into his black almond eyes. ‘Alright I don’t need a lecture,’ she snapped. ‘And I can’t relax with you breathing down my neck.’
‘Just trying to help,’ he muttered.
She was about to put the thing away when it twitched and grew hot in her hand. Then as if by magic, without any kind of trying on her part, the Staff began to turn and point towards the path on the left, as though some invisible force was moving it.
‘There we are! ‘ said Skye smugly. ‘Told you!’
‘Whatever...’
‘The Staff of Sunev is never wrong. That is the right path..’ said Pluto, ‘Let us follow it.’ And he strode off up the stony track, leaving Skye and Venus to straggle after him, exchanging irritable glances.
‘But how on earth does it know where we need to go?’ wondered Venus.
‘It just does,’ said Skye, shrugging. ‘Trust in the Deities. Come on let’s go.’
The sky had turned purple and a blood orange sun was sinking into the horizon by the time they reached the top of the mountain pass. To the left plunged a deep ravine. Through the gap Venus caught a glimpse of foothills and a lush green plain rolling towards a wide and misty horizon. To the right a narrow path clung to the side of the mountain and on the left a rock bridge stretched perilously across the gorge, leading to a cave opening. Neither looked particularly enticing.
‘Jumping jiggernomes!’ exclaimed Skye excitedly. ‘That could be the entrance to the Lost Kingdom of Xenophobia! I’ve read all about it! It’s a famous Kumarian tribe that has stayed cut off from the world for centuries. ‘
‘Being flying creatures, Kumarians tend to live in mountainous regions, where they can get an eagle’s eye view of the world. They are a very proud race and somewhat secretive.’ Pluto added informatively, like a tour guide.
‘Fascinating,’ said Venus. ‘But where next?’
Suddenly the air was rent apart by a terrible screeching. There was a loud flapping of wings and a flurry of white feathers above the gorge. Two winged young female Kumarians roared out of the cave mouth and began fighting in mid air, swooping and diving, tearing at each other with their long talons. Venus gaped as the catfight went on. Feathers flew and floated down into the gorge and the terrible shrieking echoed round the rocks. It was worse than the catfights between Tiffany and Hayley Plummer in Year 6, and those had been legendary.
‘You lying scrag-eared harpie!’ screamed one of them at the top of her voice. ‘That’s my cave! I got there first! You know I did!’
‘No you didn’t! I saw it first you scag toed skink fag!’
‘No you didn’t ! You pushed me out of the way, you snarg faced sniggerot!’
‘Did not!’
‘Did!’
‘Did not! Take that you snitching toerag ! ’
‘Aaaaoooow! Shinkfag! Gonna skank you!’
‘Ladies, please! Language!’ boomed Pluto across the gorge, looking rather shocked. These girls were obviously screaming the most dreadful insults imaginable at each other. Stuff you’d get detention for in school. Venus had heard a lot worse in the playground but this interchange didn’t sound particularly nice either. Suddenly the two girls stopped in mid air, hovering. But it wasn’t because of Pluto. They stared straight past Venus and her companions, gawping into the distance beyond, faces contorted in fear.
‘Skermoosh!’ they both cried at once, and in a flash they had disappeared into the cave mouth. In the sudden silence that followed, a deep, ominous rumbling could be heard behind them. Pluto’s head whipped round and Skye’s face drained of colour.
‘Nimbonic noodles! Terrordactyls!’
Venus followed his gaze. In the distance, dark, flying shapes ploughed towards them with relentless speed. Their droning noise echoed round the mountains. There were two options; carry on up the narrow path, or go across the rock bridge. She glanced down into the abyss beneath her and her head reeled.
‘What’re we going to do?’ she gasped.
‘There is no shelter or cover up here,’ shouted Pluto. ‘We have no choice but to go across that bridge and take refuge in the cave.’