Okay....here it is! Chapter 16....this one is super long. its like 20 pages on Word and like 7,000 words or something. I'm very proud of it...well, it's not as good as i hoped, but we can't have everything in life, right? :D so enjoy it and PLEASE comment!! Tell me what you think! Team Pierre or Team Charlie??? Or - actually - now i really should add in Team Jay?? Little hint there! If you want to know my opinion...well i shouldn't say. That would be telling, right? :)
Picture on the right is of Jay...Love him or hate him, he's still amazing. i couldn't use the one i wanted to because wattpad did something wacky and it stretched...but this one's okay, i guess. If you want a better pic, just google Alex Pettyfer.
<3 vb123321
Chapter Sixteen
♦ Charlie ♦
I didn’t like it. None of us did, but me maybe least of all. Too many things were wrong with the suggestion, way too many for my liking.
Firstly, there was the ease at which Astrid gained this information. The only thing mildly adrenaline-boosting she had to do was follow the guy in the suit. After that, it was clear sailing…which didn’t compute in the slightest. If I knew Jay – and, boy, did I – and if I was relatively certain I knew how Decrioux’s mind worked – and unfortunately I did – then I was also reasonably certain that this spelled T-R-A-P in capital letters.
There was no reason why those men would’ve been talking that loudly, that obviously. It was as if they wanted us to know about it – and it couldn’t have been more obvious that they did. Pierre had, of course, adamantly refused to follow through with the plan of strolling into this club and taking a look at what was going on. But even he had to admit that if we planned it carefully enough, we could get something out of it.
But that wasn’t the only thing that bothered me. Maybe it had something to do with the look on Astrid’s face as she made her way back to my house, where we were waiting for her. There was no clear change in expression, merely an unfocused look in her eyes that I had been accustomed to seeing in the past few days.
That could mean only one thing: Something about this arrangement had something to do with Jay.
This didn’t exactly brighten the prospect. True, we had been friends at some point…well, maybe “friends” is a bit of stretch, seeing as Jay was, well, Jay. Sometimes Pierre reminded me so much of him…and not only because Astrid was in love with him, either. There were multiple differences as well – such as the fact that Pierre was working for Delta while Jay had joined G7 for some unknown reason – but that wasn’t the point.
Jay was a synonym for trouble. Period.
And he was all I needed to make this assignment even better. As far as I was concerned, I would rather have been stationed in Siberia than be involved in something that both Jay and Astrid were playing a major role in. Because if those two were together for even thirty seconds, things were bound to get sticky. Freaking fast, too.
So why were we going through with this?
Because, as Astrid so tensely pointed out, we might be able to gain something from this. Completely insane, yes, but maybe beneficial. We’d just have to wait and see, which is, of course, what I do worst. But if something was going to profitable…it would be worth it, right?
Still, it certainly did nothing to boost my morale as I lay on the couch in the front room of my mom’s house that night. I still felt sort of awkward about staying in this place, but as long as it was free, I could deal with it. Mom did say we could use it, and so despite all my premonitions of G7 coming to destroy it, we were staying in the house.
Pierre was pacing the room, occasionally running his hands through his dark hair and glancing towards Astrid’s door, which was shut tight. He was dressed in dark blue jeans and a white dress shirt, carelessly un-tucked but very obviously designed to make girls like Astrid drool. I scowled to myself, staring up at the ceiling. As far as I was concerned, a club was a club. No reason to get all dressy, which was why I was simply wearing jeans and a polo shirt – about as formal as I got.
Josh was leaning back in an armchair, his earphones snaking out of his ears as usual, and his eyes half-closed. He hadn’t bothered to dress up either, seeing as neither of us was attempting to entice Miss von Shauff. Well, I was, but seeing as Mr. Pretty Boy was still completely in love with her despite their earlier argument, I figured it was a lost cause for the time being. We’d just have to keep waiting…and seeing…
“Where is she?” Josh demanded from the armchair, seeming to read my thoughts. “What is it with girls and dressing up?”
“Well, we do like to look as good as possible,” Astrid’s voice came from the doorway, “unlike some people, Josh.”
I sat up as Pierre turned around – and both of our jaws dropped at the same time. Astrid stood in the doorway of her room, leaning against the wall casually and smiling faintly at us.
For a moment, I thought I had died and gone to heaven.
She was dressed in a simple white strapless dress, coming to a few inches above her knee. A silver pendant sparkled on her neck, accentuated by a pair of dangly earrings. Her hair was down, obviously straightened, and hung around her shoulders in a dark waterfall. Just the tiniest bit of lipstick brushed her lips, along with a stroke of eye shadow and mascara bringing out her amazing eyes.
She looked breathtaking.
Astrid was beginning to blush at the way we were all staring at her. Josh had even taken his earphones out to look openly at her. “You don’t think it’s too slutty, do you?” she asked anxiously, smoothing her skirt.
“Not a chance,” we chorused, and I winced as I realized we had said it in unison. Astrid rolled her eyes. Evidently, this show of support hardly made her feel any better – if anything it proved her point.
“You can stop staring now,” she said in an impatient tone. “I wouldn’t do this, but I thought I might have to resort to some…you know…”
“Yeah,” Josh said dreamily, dragging his eyes away from her.
“Don’t I wish I was Mr. Man in Black now,” Pierre commented, whistling. I resisted the urge to glare at him as he came up alongside her, wrapping an arm around her waist. “You sure you don’t want to practice your interrogating skills, sweetheart?”
Astrid rolled her eyes again, but I noticed she didn’t move away from him. “Okay, enough,” she muttered, finally embarrassed. “Come on, we don’t have all day.”
Josh heaved himself out of the armchair. “What’s up with the sandals, darling?” he asked, smirking, and I glanced at her feet, which were clad in dressy heeled sandals instead of her normal boots. “Did the boots get untrendy?”
She shrugged, looking down at her feet. “The boots are too…me, you know? I can’t wear them all the time, they’re too obvious.”
I personally thought they looked hot on her, but sensing Josh looking at me out of the corner of his eye, I kept quiet. “Okay, I get it,” Josh told her, shrugging. “The boots are so yesterday, aren’t they?”
Astrid laughed, the sound coming out a little tense. Josh gave her a weird look, and then raised an eyebrow at me. I knew he was referring to our conversation earlier this morning, but I didn’t want to talk about that right now. Too much to go into, and too little time…not to mention the presence of Mr. LaPointe.
Josh shrugged again, turning away. “I’ll call the taxi,” he said over his shoulder.
“No need,” Pierre told him from where he stood at Astrid’s side. “I rented a car this afternoon.”
Josh and I both stopped in our tracks. It was Pierre’s turn to get stared at now. What the heck? “How can you just do that?” I asked him in disbelief. “What kind of connections do you have here?” I had a sneaking suspicion that I really didn’t want to know.
Pierre laughed. “It’s called walking down the street to a car dealership,” he explained carelessly, shrugging. “It’s not rocket science.”
Josh whistled in amazement. “Well, then. Just hand me the keys and call me James and I’ll bring up the car in a second.”
Pierre smiled, rolling his eyes, and tossed Josh the keys. Josh left the house, still shaking his head. Astrid turned to Pierre, frowning slightly. “You didn’t have to do that,” she said, her voice a little awkward.
“Yeah, I did,” he assured her, and my stomach twisted. I stood up abruptly. Trust Pierre to get his hands on something to appeal to the girl, I thought bitterly. What did I have to compare with that?
Astrid smiled at him slightly, and I turned away. Pierre brushed his lips against her forehead and then walked out of the room as well, calling back, “Meet you out front in a moment, beautiful.”
I glanced at Astrid in time to see her wince faintly. A frown flickered on my face before I could stop myself. Only Jay called her “beautiful”…no wonder she was wincing. She looked at me for a long moment, her long-lashed eyes half-pensive, half-fearful, as if wondering what I would say, how much I knew.
I hesitated. Should I mention to her that I knew what was going on? That I alone of us three guys knew about Jay? The look on her face told me not to go that far, not to push the issue at the moment. And so I turned away from her with a sinking heart and quietly left the room. I knew I had to tell her at some point, but now was not the moment. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
The wary look in her eyes stayed with me all the way to the street of the nightclub, where Josh parked the car just down the street. The place was real dingy-looking, as crappy as Astrid had described it earlier. Somehow, I could see Jay hanging out at a place like this, though. It suited his personality. Or maybe I was just biased. Either way, I didn’t like the feeling the place was giving me, at all.
Pierre removed the keys from the ignition as we sat silently in the car for a moment, just staring. The club was the largest building on the block, and very obviously the only one regularly in service. The street was small and dark, obviously the ghetto area of town. Loud music and flashing lights came from the nightclub, and loitering outside were several girls wearing next to nothing and talking in high-pitched French voices, giggling madly as boys passed them.
Definitely not number one on the tourist attraction list.
“Why didn’t they pick the Eiffel Tower?” I muttered, scowling at the horde of girls outside the building. Astrid sighed from next to me, shaking her head silently. Pierre glanced at her in the rearview mirror, his eyes flickering over to me briefly as well, but he said nothing.
“Well…” Josh exhaled loudly. “Let’s go.”
Rather reluctantly, I stepped out of the car, holding the door for Astrid in as casual a motion as I could. She didn’t even look at me as she got out, and I noticed her hands were clenched as well as her jaw as she stared at the building. If she wasn’t as tense as a coiled spring, I didn’t know what she was. I tried not to look at her with too much concern, sensing her irritation, but I was worried. Real worried.
As he stepped around the side of the car, Pierre took her arm possessively. Astrid looked like she wanted to shrug it off, but stopped herself. I gritted my teeth. Ignoring Pierre’s dark look, I swept forward, walking as quickly as I could without looking paranoid. This street gave me the creeps. With the others behind me, I stalked up to the bouncer, saying sarcastically, “We allowed in, or do we need VIP passes?”
The man leered at me, leaning back on his heels. “What’ve you got to offer?” he said slowly, spitting on the pavement.
I thought about whipping my gun across his head, but decided that that would go against the “discreet” bit of our assignment. As I deliberated on my other options, Astrid stepped forward, pushing me aside gently. I frowned; I knew exactly what she was going to do, and I didn’t like it. That was the one part about her being who she was that bothered me – her serious attraction to the male gender.
Astrid’s whole face lit up in a stunning smile, her eyelashes brushing her cheeks as she looked up at the man. “Please, you wouldn’t let me stay out here all alone, would you?” she purred, stroking a hand across his arm.
I chanced a glance at Pierre, who somehow looked amused, annoyed, and hesitant all at the same time. He seemed to realize that this was part of her job, but he didn’t seem to enjoy it any more than I was. Josh was looking almost embarrassed, studying the outline of the building.
I felt a growl rising in my throat as the man smiled cheekily at her, his eyes raking her body. “Of course not, sweetheart,” he said smoothly, reaching a hand up to brush her long, dark hair. I saw her wince slightly, but she didn’t move. “Why don’t you go on in, and save a dance for me, okay?”
“Thank you.” Astrid smiled sweetly as Josh and Pierre sidled past the man. I stalled, glaring murderously at the bouncer as he continued to check out Astrid. What was his problem, anyway? I wanted to kill him for looking at her, but Astrid grabbed my hand, pulling me into the club and hissing, “Now’s not the time to be overprotective, Charlie.”
“Overprotective?” I sputtered. “Astrid, did you see the way he was looking at you?”
She smiled faintly, a pained expression on her face. “Look, it’s fine,” she said in a low voice. “It’s part of the job.”
“I don’t like it,” I said flatly. She met my eyes briefly and then turned away, squeezing my hand slightly before releasing it and walking over to where Pierre was standing in front of the bar. I followed her, still feeling irritable, and glowering over my shoulder at the outline of the bouncer in the doorway.
“What do we do now?” Pierre called over the blaring music.
I shrugged, leaning against the bar and looking around me. Loads of people were dancing, the music evidently not giving them a headache. Easily three-fourths of them had already had too much to drink, laughing and talking far too loudly for comfort. There was a flight of stairs leading up to the game floor, where people would be playing poker or other gambling card games to will the night away.
I already hated this, between the bouncer and Pierre’s attitude and the general raucousness of the place…it was all getting under my skin and I was feeling highly irrational by that point.
Josh was leaning against the wall, hands deep in his pockets as he appeared to drink in his surroundings. “I think we should separate,” he suggested after a moment, leaning in so we could hear. “Where do you want to go?”
Astrid was clenching the sides of her dress in her hands, looking around her. It wasn’t like her to be this nervous, and it scared me. “You okay?” I asked quietly, as Pierre said something to Josh that I didn’t catch.
She looked at me, a little startled, and nodded wordlessly. My heart twisted; she was lying, it was plain to see. But why? I held her gaze until Pierre put in, “All right, Astrid, you want to take upstairs with…?”
“Me,” I interjected firmly. Pierre looked at me a long moment, and then nodded.
“All right then,” he said lightly, still staring me down. “And me and Josh will scout around down here, all right, everyone?”
Josh nodded absently, still searching the crowds. No one else answered, and Pierre sighed, very quietly. “All right then,” he answered himself in a resigned tone. “Okay, Astrid – uh, Astrid?”
I turned slightly. Astrid had stepped up to the bar, saying loudly, “Excuse me – can I get a tequila shot, please?”
“Single?” asked the bartender, reaching for a glass.
“Please.”
Pierre grabbed her arm. “Astrid, you’re not going to drink that, are you?” he asked, looking horrified.
She gave him a strange look. “Uh, what else am I supposed to do with it?” She took the tumbler from the bartender, smiling at him and leaning against the bar. Pierre looked appalled.
“You mean – you actually drink that stuff?” he asked, staring incredulously at her. “You’re sixteen, for crying out loud!”
Apparently his perfect little mental image of her was rapidly deteriorating. That’s my girl, I thought, grinning. Get him off you.
Astrid laughed ironically. “Don’t say that too loud, bud,” she said cockily to Pierre, glancing at me and grinning.
I grinned back at her, feeling incredibly lighthearted all of a sudden. Pierre had a lot to learn about this girl – that was definitely one up I had on him. Astrid tilted her head to drink, but I held up a hand, signaling her to stop. “Wait.” I turned to the bartender myself. “I’ll have the same, thanks,” I requested, and a second later was holding one in my hand.
Astrid met my eyes over the top of her tumbler. “Ready?” I asked her, and she looked at me in confusion for a moment before a smile broke out over her face. She nodded, gripping her tumbler securely.
“One…two…three…”
“Shots!” she exclaimed, laughing, and together we threw our heads back, downing the tequila. I retched as the liquor hit my throat, burning its way down. I slammed my glass down on the counter, bent double as the liquid seared my stomach.
“Done first!” I gasped, and she put hers down as well, laughing and choking in the same breath. Pierre was looking on in utter amazement, while Josh simply howled with laughter at the look on his face. I was trying not to suffocate on the tequila, and Josh pounded me on the back good-naturedly.
“Ugh, remind me again why we do that every time we walk into a bar?” I wheezed at Astrid, who was wiping her mouth.
“I don’t know,” she admitted, shaking her head. “That stuff is nasty.”
We grinned at each other a moment and I felt my heart lift. Maybe she was remembering old times, when we would do tequila shots at every bar we went into just because we were immature thirteen-year-old spies that could, before Pierre was centered in her life, before…before Jay left.
Pierre looked like he was struggling to find words, a mix of confusion and shock crossing his face. “So…so you do that – every time you come to a bar?” he asked, frowning at us.
“Yup,” I confirmed cheerfully, leaning back against the bar and eyeing him in amusement. This guy just got better and better. I was beginning to see why Astrid would appreciate him – good source of comic relief.
He looked blank. “Why?”
Astrid and I exchanged a look. “It’s a tradition,” I explained, shrugging. “I don’t really know the real reason anymore. We’ve just been doing it since we were like eleven, so we always have to.”
“Eleven?” Pierre choked, staring wide-eyed at Astrid.
“Yeah, every wonder why they turned out like this?” Josh put in, smirking. “I never took a part in it myself – nasty stuff.”
“Eleven?” Pierre repeated.
Astrid and I looked at each other again, and started laughing. “Good times, good times,” she mused, shaking her head. “Okay, we better be off.” She stood up straighter, running a hand through her hair and composing herself. “Mr. Bartender – glass of beer, please, finest you’ve got.”
Pierre looked like he was about to die as the bartender willingly handed Astrid a glass. “Thanks,” she said, grinning at me, and then walked off, her stride purposeful and directly towards the stairs, almost as if she knew what she was looking for.
And she probably did.
The lightness seemed to leave the air as she left, and Josh, Pierre, and I were left looking at each other. “Does she really drink those?” Pierre asked weakly, looking at me as if he thought we were pulling his leg.
“What, beer?” Josh said airily. “Oh, that’s pretty tame for her.” He smirked at me, and then sauntered off into the crowd, undoubtedly to find some girl to dance with. I decided that I’d rather not be left alone with Pierre, and headed towards the stairs myself, losing myself in the crowd.
♥ Astrid ♥
As soon as I left the boys, my nerves came back to me. My palms were sweating against the coolness of my glass, and I felt uncomfortable in the short dress I was wearing. I was beginning to wish I had worn a sweater, despite the warmth of the building. I could feel the tequila burning inside of me, and was beginning to regret drinking it, even if Charlie and I used to have so much fun doing so.
Jay was here. I could feel it.
So why was I so eager to see him?
I hurried up the stairs to the game floor, pausing at the top to take a long gulp of beer. Despite what Pierre’s reaction had been, I really had no qualms in drinking liquor. It didn’t bother me in the slightest. If anything, I found it made my reflexes faster, something most doctors would snort at, but I believed in the fullest. Why this was so, I had no idea, but what I did know was that as apprehensive as I was, the last thing I needed was to put this glass down.
Where was he?
I found myself looking around in a nervous motion, and took another long draught to calm myself. I needed to get a grip – although the pain of the beginning to get cramped muscles in my hand told me that I already had quite a grip on the glass I was holding.
He had to be here somewhere…I forced myself to rid my thoughts of Jay for the time being. I had to concentrate on something else at that point. I drank again, feeling the liquid slide down my throat in its comforting coolness. When my glass was empty, I walked to the bar on that floor and ordered another, taking a moment to look around. The music was quieter here, but not by much. The lights were just as bright; shedding their brilliance on the multiple tables grouped around the floor, men at each one. Many people were playing cards, gambling, with looks of intense concentration on their faces as they threw down cards.
I took up my newly filled glass and made my way into the group of tables. I already knew what I was going to do…if everything worked out right, I would be taking more than a little information home tonight, forced or otherwise. I hoped it wouldn’t come down to the forced bit…but still, I thought darkly, it couldn’t hurt to be prepared, which was part of the reason why I had worn the dress.
I didn’t want to think about the other reason.
I paused near the back of the room, looking around in an effort to find what I was looking for. No more than three men…there. Casually, I made my way over to a small table with four chairs grouped around it. Two men were seated at it, obviously at least halfway through their second beers, not quite as drunk as other people around us, but nonetheless well on their way.
Both looked up as I slipped into a seat. “Bonjour, gentlemen,” I greeted quietly, favoring each with a smile. “Mind if I join you?”
I slid a stack of bills on the table in a blasé manner, noting the way their eyes lit up at the prospect of money in the hands of an inexperienced child, as I was portrayed as.
“Feel free,” the first man grunted after running his eyes over me. It wasn’t a perverted manner that he did it, more of a cursory look to see what I was made of. Evidently, he didn’t think I was a threat to his money. He was medium height, with curly dark hair and a roughly shaven face. Heavy eyebrows perched above ice blue eyes that never left my face as I looked at him. He didn’t look like that good of a card player, but one could never be too sure.
His companion said nothing, merely nodding. He was tall, with thick reddish hair and pale blue, almost colorless, eyes. He wore a simple white polo shirt with sunglasses clipped onto it. I tried to meet his eyes, but he focused on the people around us instead, darting nervously around them room. Possibly some big shot in the crime world, maybe even incorporated with G7 itself…but I was over thinking things again.
Automatically, I named them Curly and Red, rather cliché names to be sure, but fitting nonetheless, and since I didn’t know their actual names, it was all I had to go on.
“What are we playing?” I asked casually, taking another long draught of beer, wincing slightly as it cascaded down my throat. I didn’t particularly enjoy drinking the stuff, but I had to play to the part of trying-to-be-grownup girl in a club...and I also needed an attempt to calm my nerves.
“Poker,” Curly responded curtly, shuffling the cards, never taking his eyes off mine as he did so. “You know the game?”
I hesitated, just long enough to make them think I was about to lie. “Not…really,” I admitted, allowing a blush to come on my cheeks. I was, of course, lying through my teeth. I owned at poker, and could probably beat any guy in this place, but that wasn’t the point of this particular venture.
The men exchanged raised eyebrows, obviously wondering why I had joined them then, but neither argued – their eyes were still riveted on the money I had set down. I smiled shyly. “How about…Euchre?” I suggested innocently. “We could raise some pretty high stakes…”
The looks on their faces clearly stated that they thought Euchre was a game for babies, but willingly they shrugged and nodded. I sighed silently in relief. There was no particular reason why I wanted to play Euchre…just…well, it brought back so many memories. Plus, I wanted to be doing something I didn’t really have to think about for the time being. I wanted to concentrate more on my surroundings.
Feeling almost satisfied, I drained the last of my second glass of beer, smiling at Curly and Red. “How about you two look for a fourth player while I go and get a refill?” I offered, making it clear that it wasn’t an option.
They shrugged again, and I took that as a yes. Clearly I did not have the most communicative of companions. Shrugging to myself, I rose from my chair, snatching the bills off the table to avoid getting gypped, and heading toward the bar. Two beers gone and I wasn’t even feeling lightheaded. I was getting better. Then again, French beer wasn’t the strongest stuff in the world…
I waited impatiently for the refill, drumming my fingers on the counter. What was taking this guy so dang long? My stress was piling on again and I looked around in a seemingly lackadaisical three-sixty as I waited. When the bartender finally said, “Here,” I was so tense that I nearly jumped out of my skin.
“Merci,” I murmured, and picked up the glass, moving my thumb in a circle on its smooth, cool surface. Taking a deep breath, I headed back towards the table where Curly and Red sat, still glancing around me to see what everyone else was doing.
My first mistake.
I reached the table – and stopped dead.
“Hello, beautiful.” Jay spoke softly, his brilliantly blue eyes fixed on my dark ones, a smile slipping over his face. “Long time…no see.”
My heart stopped. Oh. My. Freaking. Gosh. What was he – how could he just be here? Even though I had been expecting him to be here, the sight of him, just sitting there so casually, thrust a needle at every single tense nerve in my body. The glass began to slip from my frozen hand, and he leaned forward, grasping my wrist firmly.
“Careful there, beautiful,” he breathed, running his eyes over my face. His touch set fire to my skin, sending shivers up my entire arm. I jerked my hand away from him, putting the glass down before I passed out.
I had forgotten how amazing he was.
He sat back in his chair, and we looked at each other for a long moment. His sandy hair curled just above his sky blue eyes, tanned face expressionless, amusement lingering on his slightly up-turned mouth. Simply dressed in dark jeans and a tight white shirt, he looked breathtaking in the fullest way possible.
My heart began to beat again, at such a fast pace that black dots danced momentarily in front of my vision.
Jay. Here.
I had seen that coming. So why was I this shocked? Say something, I commanded myself. I took a deep breath, staring at him, but no words came out. So much had happened since I had seen him last, two years ago. And too much had happened before that to even begin to talk about…And the memories were coming back; I could almost hear him laughing with me, kissing me, holding my hand…
He tilted his head slightly, blue eyes staring into mine, one hand moving through his tousled hair. Say something! My mind was swirling with possibilities of things to say to him, starting with every swear word in my vocabulary and going all the way over to confessing to how much I had missed him, how much I still thought about him…
There was a lump in my throat. I still couldn’t speak; the look on his face prohibited speech entirely. He seemed to know of my incapability, a smirk treading across his perfect mouth as he looked at me.
I had to find something to say…But not words came.
“We gonna play or what?”
I jumped at least three feet. Having completely forgotten about Curly and Red, the sound of Curly’s irritable grunt almost gave me a heart attack.
“Yeah,” Jay replied, snapping back to reality at the same time as me. He raised a coy eyebrow, smiling slightly. “Joining us, Astrid?”
I clenched and unclenched my fists, sinking down into my chair. “Of course,” I managed finally. “I started this game after all.”
“Don’t you always,” Jay murmured, eyes fixed on me, but I looked away from him and tried to concentrate on something other than the feeling his gaze gave me.
Curly and Red were looking confused, so I threw the stack of bills on the table again to divert them. ”Me and him,” I nodded at Curly, “against you two. Got it?” I looked around at the three guys. No one said a word.
“All right then,” I said grimly, turning to face Curly, my new partner, as he began to deal and trying desperately to ignore Jay’s searching look. “Play ball.”
It was more than just a card game; both Jay and I knew that. Yes, a much more dangerous game was beginning as I flipped my cards over, scanning them. Ace, king, jack, and ten of hearts. Plus an ace of spades…my eyes flickered over to Jay’s face as he looked over his own cards. He met my eyes over the tops, his face unreadable.
Play ball, indeed.
Let’s see how much information I could get out of little Mr. Heartbreak…
I let my gaze drift to the offered trump. Queen of hearts. Excellent. Both Curly and Red passed. Only Jay left, then…“So, Jay,” I began in a low, conversational voice, trusting that Curly and Red were a touch too tipsy to care about us. “Where’ve you been?”
“I could ask you the same question,” he answered mildly, rapping the table to signify passing and looking straight into my eyes. I held his gaze for a moment before gesturing to Curly to pick up the queen.
“Hearts is trump,” Curly rumbled, and Red nodded distantly. Jay shook his head, smiling faintly.
“That’s my girl, the Queen of Hearts,” he said quietly, looking sideways at me. I could feel a blush pulling at my cheeks, and I fought to keep it back. No one else could make me blush like he did…I forced myself to concentrate.
“And I go alone,” I added boldly, looking defiantly at Jay, who looked amused.
“Don’t you always, though, beautiful?” he breathed, bringing his face close to mine. He still smelled faintly of oranges and something else that I couldn’t touch on.
I closed my eyes briefly, letting the sensation ride through me before opening them again rapidly. “Only since you left me,” I returned coldly, and looked over at Curly, who was looking almost bored. “I go alone.”
My partner raised his eyebrows, but willingly placed his cards down on the tabletop, now including the queen of hearts. Discarded, like me…
Jay was watching me closely. I wasn’t sure how much more of this I could handle – this was definitely going to be a long game. Red placed a card down: ace of diamonds. Jay, after looking at me for a long moment, put down a king of diamonds. I threw my ten of hearts on top of the other two, sweeping the cards toward me for my trick.
My turn.
“Playing Euchre in a club,” I said out of the side of my mouth, throwing down my jack of hearts to get everyone’s trump out, “isn’t that a little…beneath you, Jay?”
A smile played over his lips as Red played a nine of clubs and Jay put down the jack of diamonds. “Took my best card, Astrid,” he commented smoothly. “Nothing has changed with you, I see.”
“More than you think,” I shot back, rising to the bait in spite of myself as I swept that trick toward me as well. Jay simply raised his eyebrows, looking unconcerned. Why did I say that? I looked away from him again, trying to ignore the heat rising to my face. I could feel his eyes burning into me as I put down my ace and king of hearts. “Play two cards,” I said hurriedly, to avoid his eyes.
“Everyone here knows how to play Euchre, darling,” Jay breathed, mock-patiently, his blue eyes dancing sardonically. “Keep the emotions down, will you?”
He smirked as I almost blushed again. Ugh, why could he always tell with me? Red, looking rather worn by this point, played two clubs. Poor guy ended up with a bad hand, I guess. “Your turn,” I told Jay, not looking at him. Shivers were still running through me at the intensity of his gaze.
Jay deliberated, and then threw down a club and a diamond carelessly. “You win, beautiful,” he murmured, laying a hand discreetly on my arm. I shuddered at his touch involuntarily, jerking my arm away from him. Half of me wanted him to touch me, but the other half kept him away…
Gulping, I threw down my last card – the ace of spades. Hoping no one could top that, I looked around challengingly. Red sighed in frustration and threw down a diamond. Jay just looked at me, making no move, smiling quietly to himself. Then slowly he stood and flipped over his card.
The nine of hearts.
I swore quietly, then instantly was mad at myself for doing so. So? I got four – I still won that trick. Even though he’d cheated…he should have put that hearts down when I played my two cards…but I doubted Red or Curly noticed, and I was too high-strung to point this one out.
Jay laughed, the sound sending a mixture of thrills and tingles up and down my spine. Just the mere sound of it brought back such a flood of memories that I felt a lump rise to my throat.
“See, Astrid?” he whispered, leaning so that his face was inches from mine, his dazzling blue eyes burning into mine. “You don’t always win in life. I give, and I take away – and it’s up to me to decide which.”
I could only sit there like an idiot, blinking back sudden tears that threaten to spill over my eyelids. Why, oh why, did he do this to me? I stared into his blue eyes, only a hairsbreadth away from my own, shining in the light. I couldn’t read the emotion in them – amused, wary, pained? I couldn’t tell…I could never tell with him
Jay seemed to hesitate for a split second, and then he brushed his lips quickly against mine, straightened, and strode away rapidly.
My hands flew to my mouth, color rising to my face, and I rose from the chair without thinking. “Jay–!” I choked, the money and drink on the table forgotten as I stumbled to my feet and lurched forward after him. He was walking quickly, not looking back, but I knew he had heard me. He always heard me – no matter how far away I was, right? Always, like he promised…
“Jay – please!”
I had to know – I just had to. I ran after him, grabbing his arm as he neared the stairs. He turned so fast that I almost fell, and he grabbed me by the shoulders to catch me. “What do you want?” he growled, and now a positively dangerous look crossed over his face, blue eyes darkening.
“I want to talk,” I said quietly, staring right into his eyes.
He let go of me, exhaling slowly. For a long moment, he just stood there, looking closely at me, and then he said gradually, “There’s nothing to talk about, Astrid,” and turned away.
I clutched his arm forcefully. “Please – just tell me!” My voice rose as I pleaded with him. “Are you with – are you with Decrioux?”
Jay froze visibly, his face turning toward me in a white mask. “What – did – you – say?” he hissed with supreme calm, but with a tightness in his voice that belayed his outward calm.
“You are,” I breathed, releasing his arm and staring in shock at him. His reaction confirmed it – but I had already known – so why was this such a shock? Because I didn’t want to believe it…it couldn’t be true; had no reason! Unless it was me…His face was darkening as he looked at me, and I said softly, “If you didn’t want me to know, why did you make it so obvious that you were coming here?”
He didn’t say anything, his eyes searching my face. I could see the muscles working in his jaw as he seemed to search for words.
“Why, Jay?” I whispered miserably. “Why?”
He just looked at me. His blue eyes seemed to be pools of emotion – emotion I couldn’t read. My worst fears were confirmed: he was with Decrioux and G7, and even worse – I couldn’t read him.
What had happened between us that made us like this? I wanted to ask him, I wanted to hit him, I wanted to kiss him so hard that I saw stars…I wanted him to hold me, I wanted him to tell me he was sorry, I wanted him to apologize for once in his life, to tell me that he loved me…
Jay’s lips moved, but no sound came out. Instead, he grabbed my shoulders, kissed me hard, and tore himself away, going down the steps two at a time. He knew I couldn’t follow him, not when I was standing stock still at the top of the staircase, rigid as a statue, unable to move.
Why did he always do that to me?
I threw myself against the banister of the stairs, leaning over to watch his figure moving rapidly through the crowded hall. He didn’t look up once. My hands were pressed firmly over my mouth as I held back a scream. I wanted to call to him, to run after him, but of course he left me frozen, too star-struck to move at all.
By the time I engaged enough neurons to think about running after him once more, he was long gone, dashing away into the night to some place that I could never follow him. He was on the other side now; there was nothing I could do about that. The jay had flown, as it had two years ago, without a warning. Gone once more. Left me. As always.
Why didn’t I ask him more? Why didn’t I scream at him, punch him, yell at him for leaving me? Why did I let him go away again?
The tears were prickling at my eyelids again, and I didn’t even bother to blink in an effort to force them back. I had been so close – so close! Why had I let him slip out of my grasp when I could have had him back? Why did I let him leave me? Why did I let him talk to me in the first place, only so he could break my heart again?
The Queen of Hearts. Discarded.