When I just focused on you and me...
JULY - 2012
"Dark purple?"
"I'm thinking, like, a dark lavender."
I scanned the cans of paint, looking for the designated color. Once I'd found it, I put a few in the cart.
"Do you think that'll be enough?" I asked.
Gwen nodded. "I don't think I'll be able to push this any longer though."
"It's okay." I said, taking the cart into my hands.
She wrapped a hand around my left arm and we continued to walk in the store.
"So... have you talked to any friends?"
I glanced at her only to see she was avoiding eye contact. "I don't want to talk about Noah, Gwen. I thought we went over this."
"I-I know, but still, he's a cool guy and a good friend a-"
"No, he's not."
"What did he do that was so bad?"
I was about to answer, but hesitated. "H-he..."
"He...?"
"He just... isn't as understanding as I thought he was."
"That scares me, Kyle."
"It shouldn't. It's just-"
"I just think you shouldn't throw your friendship with him away so carelessly."
"I'm not. He's the one that did. Me and Ryan have thought about this, Gwen. He's not good."
"But when I met him-"
"I know, he seems all cool and stuff, but he's not."
"Why can't you tell me what happened?"
"I..."
We kept walking silently. Gwen peered up at me, waiting for me to say something, but I never did.
"Fine... I'll just... wait." she said, nodding her head as if she were trying to get herself to agree with her own words.
"I'm sorry-"
"It's okay," she interjected. "It's fine."
I didn't say anything else on the subject. After Gwen and I purchased everything using her parent's money - who were ecstatic about the idea of recreating her room - we drove home. I'd given Gwen my sketchbook to look over. The papers consisted of drawings of what her room could look like.
"So, what do you think?" I asked, glancing to her seat.
She stared at my fourth sketch. "I like the number four."
"You do?"
"Yeah."
"We can go with that."
When we got to the house, Gwen opened her garage. Her parents were out working so it was just us. I hauled in the paint cans while she carried the painting brushes. A few days ago, we'd already moved her furniture so we could get started. In about an hour, we were already painting.
I'd brought over some t-shirts Kory hadn't used in years. They fit Gwen better than they fit me. I was slightly bigger than Kory when it came to our body structures.
Gwen looked adorable when she was messy though. She ended up accidentally wiping her face with the lavender paint and whenever she looked at me, I'd smile and realize she was so unbelievably perfect. She'd didn't ask why, she knew I wouldn't tell her.
We were nearly finished with two walls of three layers of paint when Gwen's parents walked into the room.
"Gwendalynn Summer Conrad!" Denise shouted. "Where in the hell are your trousers?!"
Gwen stared at her mother, slowly lifting the large shirt to expose her shorts. Denise let out a sigh of relief.
"Don't scare me like that."
Gwen giggled, shaking her head and turning back to the wall.
"How's everything coming along?" Denise asked, taking out the pony tail she wore and grasping a chunk of the t-shirt Gwen was wearing and tied the back so that it definitely showed her shorts.
"Looks like you've only finished two walls." George pointed out, blatantly stating the obvious.
"Yeah," I nodded, looking at them. "I think we'll finish the other two tomorrow."
"Good idea. We have dinner. Would you like to stay over, Kyle?"
I shook my head. "I'm supposed to be home with my family at..."
I took out my phone to see the time. My eyes widened.
"Oh! Now, actually." I hurried and put the brushes on the floor and took a step towards Gwen, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her towards me, bringing her in for a quick kiss. "I'll see you later."
She grinned, nodding.
"Are you sure, Kyle?" George questioned, raising an eye brow. "We have plenty of food."
"No, I'm sure. My parents think I'm over here too much anyway." I admitted, stopping in front of them as I waited for them to let me leave.
"Well, know that you're welcome any time," Denise smiled.
"Sure do."
George stepped back, giving me space to leave. I gave them a last goodbye before heading home.
...
"So, how's Gwen's room?" Mom asked, taking a sip of her water.
"Good," I answered, taking a bite of the steak Mom made.
"Did you see Denise and George?"
"Yeah."
"How are they?"
I shrugged. "They're good. Workin'. Which, um, is that why Dad isn't home yet?"
Mom nodded. "Yeah, there was apparently a fire just an hour ago."
I nodded. It wasn't frequent where only my mother and I were having dinner together. Mostly, it was a family dinner, when my father was here with us since they've gotten plenty more firemen at the station a couple years ago. I was a little thankful though. Mom was less confident when my dad wasn't around, so that means she won't interrogate me in anything that isn't her business.
After dinner, I headed to my room and logged into Facebook, realizing I hadn't talked to Kory in a while. I texted him, telling him he should get on Skype. He answered, saying he's got a big exam tomorrow and needs as much sleep as he can.
So my night consisted of sitting on Facebook watching girls make drama, until someone chatted me.
Ali Trescott: Hey
I smiled. I hadn't talked to Alice since school ended. She came to watch my games, but I think she was too shy to ever say hi. Then again, Gwen was always at my games as well. It'd be a bit awkward. I think she assumed I didn't notice her there, but I saw her. Every game, she sat in the same exact spot in the highest bleacher next to who my friends call 'the nerds.'
You: Hi
Ali Trescott: What are you doing?
You: Nothing really. you?
Ali Trescott: Same
Suddenly, my phone began to vibrate.
Gwen <3
I snatched it, sliding the answer button.
"Hey."
"You're up?"
"It's only eleven, Gwen."
"Only eleven?"
I laughed, ignoring her sarcasm. "What's up?"
"There. Is a spider. In my room." she whispered.
I waited for her to continue, but she didn't say anything.
"And?"
"I don't know where it went!"
"Well... Find it."
"What do you think I'm doing, Kyle?" she deadpanned.
You: How's summer been?
"Gwen, it's just a spider. Go to sleep."
"I can't! What if it eats me!"
"Gwen..." I sighed, rubbing my forehead.
Ali Trescott: It's been well. How about yours?
"Kyle..." she whined. I could imagine her stomping her foot and pouting.
"It's a spider. It's not going to eat you."
"It's huge!"
I shook my head, sighing. My girlfriend is impossible.
"You have to face your fears at some point, Gwen."
"Yeah? Well I'm not doing that tonight."
You: Good.
"Baby, I promise. The spider won't eat you tonight."
I imagined Gwen glaring. "If I die tonight, it's on you."
I laughed. "I wouldn't let that happen. Ev-,"
"OH MY GOD!" she screamed.
"What?! Are you okay?!"
I heard some loud thumping in the background along with Gwen's constant screaming.
"Gwen! Are you okay?"
"Y-yeah," she answered wearily, "but the spider isn't."
"What?"
"It just started running across the room and I stomped on it."
I burst into laughter. "There ya go!"
"Yeah, yeah." Gwen mumbled.
Ali Trescott: A few friends from school are going bowling next week. Want to come?
I stared at the screen. Gwen wouldn't like that idea but bowling would be fun.
"Kyle!"
"What?"
"I said goodnight! You didn't answer."
"Oh, sorry, I'm um..."
"You're what..."
I held my phone between my shoulder and ear, my fingers dancing along the keyboard, unsure of what to say.
You: sure. Let me know where at and I'll come.
Ali Trescott: Okay (:
"Nothing. Goodnight, Gwen."
"Love you."
"I love you, too."
...
"You sure you want to bring a blanket?"
Gwen nodded. "It might get cold like last year."
I stood against the doorframe, watching my girlfriend gather everything to go see the fireworks tonight again. But it was rather early, so we were going to go see the parade that goes down the street for about an hour and a half. I crossed my arms.
"You know, today's our one year anniversary."
Gwen tensed, looking at me, her mouth slightly agape. I was smirking at her, finding her shocked face very amusing.
"Oh, Kyle! I'm so sorry!" she said, guilt and sadness taking over her features.
I stood up straight, my arms falling. "Wait, wha-?"
"I can't believe I forgot! I would've gotten something for you, or- or I would've-"
Gwen was having a panic episode. I took hold of her shoulders, forcing her to look at me.
"Gwen! It's okay, I promise."
"Bu-"
"You're being stereotypical. Anniversaries don't have to be celebrated with gifts."
Gwen ducked her head. "Well, I'm not really one for relationships. I'm just going with the movies." she muttered.
I chuckled. "You're so adorable."
I kissed her, my hands still at her shoulders. She stepped closer as I pressed my lips harder against hers. She pulled back slightly to whisper to me, our heads still touching.
"Sorry."
"It's fine." I smiled, pecking her lips once more. "Now hurry and get your stuff so we can go."
Gwen complied, grabbing ahold of her bag.
...
The parade was extraordinary. Gwen seemed to love it, catching the bits of candy the floats threw out. It was a very fun thing to see. I knew Gwen enjoyed it.
The day went by pretty quick and soon enough, we were sat in the exact same spot from last year. Exactly a year ago, my worst enemy from school insulted Gwen, causing me to blurt out that she was my girlfriend on accident, but on that very day - she became my girlfriend.
So in a way, I have Connor to thank for this day. July 4th.
"I can't wait to see them again." Gwen whispered.
"You're gonna see them so much more, too."
At the moment, I was laying in Gwen's lap. She was playing with my hair and poking my face. I just let her do what she wanted to do, I was a little beat. The sun hadn't gone down yet so we would probably have another two hours until the fireworks start.
Later on, she took my hand and started playing with my fingers.
"What are you doing?" I chuckled with my eyes closed.
Gwen kissed my forehead. "You have big hands."
I opened one eye. "And?"
"I like them."
I laughed again. "Good."
"Kyle?"
"Huh?" I grunted.
"How much do you love me?"
The question took me a bit by surprise. How was I supposed to answer that?
I opened my eyes. "What?"
"I just want to know." she shrugged, looking away.
I sat up, the tips of my lips going upward but not smiling. I took her face in my hands and made her look into my eyes.
"If I could..." I started, finally admitting this out loud. "I would have this cancer for you, even if that means never meeting you again. I would go through all the shit you've gone through just to have you stay alive. I would put everything bad that's happened to you and put it on me."
Gwen's eyes widened. "Really?"
Suddenly, I felt my eyes start to sting. I looked down, then back at her. "Really."
Gwen put her arms around my neck and kissed me. It was long and gentle. The kind you see in the movies, but this... I felt this. I was in love with her.
When she pulled back, she put her forehead against mine. "Is it true love if I'd do the exact same thing for you?"
I let out a small laugh before wrapping her in my arms and hugging her. I don't know how long we were in this position, but I never wanted to let her go.
...
Gwen and I were holding hands in the car, driving home. It was about eleven-forty at night. I knew her parents wouldn't be pleased that she got home at midnight, but I didn't exactly have a choice.
She had fallen asleep in the car about halfway home. So when I finally got to her parent's home, I saw her mother and father stood in the window with both their arms crossed.
I opened my door and swiftly went to the other side to get Gwen. Deciding not to wake her, I unbuckled her seat belt and picked her up. I slowly walked up the porch steps and the door opened. Denise and George both gave me disapproving looks.
"You guys can yell at me as I soon as I put her down." I said.
They nodded stubbornly as I slowly took Gwen to the guest bedroom. She's been staying in there because of the work we've been doing in her own. When I closed the door quietly, I gasped to see her parents were right behind me, startling me.
"Oh, god!"
"It's past midnight, Kyle." Denise stated, pointing out the obvious and crossing her arms. She looked remarkably like my girlfriend in the room next to me when Gwen was frustrated.
"I know that."
"The curfew was eleven! You didn't answer your phone and-"
"Okay, wait, I was driving for one and Gwen was asleep so I couldn't answer. Two, there was terrible traffic so I had no other choice."
"No, you don't have any other choice now." George told me.
"What?" I asked, confused.
"We're not letting Gwen be with you past nine."
"What? Wait!" I narrowed my eyes at Gwen's parents. "I was thirty minutes late! It wasn't-"
"That's not the point, Kyle. I want my daughter safe."
"And she is safe with me!"
"Not if we don't know where she's at!"
"You guys are serious? C'mon! I brought her back fine! She's okay. There was just a whole bunch of traffic and-"
"We've made up our minds, Kyle."
"Can she at least be with me until ten?" I asked, annoyed that they were seriously making me bring Gwen home at nine now. It was summer!
"No."
"Mr. and Mrs. Conrad, with all due respect, I've been great to your daughter. I don't understand that this is necessary. She deserves to be out longer than that!"
"Goodbye, Kyle."
I stared at them, completely befuddled. How could they do this? We were late and there was a reason why! Irritated, I angrily walked away from them and out the house, slamming the door behind me.
...
"I'm really glad you came, Kyle." Alice smiled nervously.
"Um, Ali... I've never bowled before."
She seemed shocked for a minute before smiling. "It's okay."
"I'm going to embarrass myself, aren't I."
Alice didn't answer my question. Instead, she shook her head and smiled. "You'll have fun."
We approached the front desk and got our shoe sizes.
"Size?" the teenager asked with an irritated voice.
"Um... Nine?"
He grunted in response, turning to get the size. I tried it on but realized I needed a size bigger. He rolled his eyes before getting me a ten. I didn't necessarily blame him. I mean, I'd hate to have a job surrounded by shoes all the time, but seriously, what did I ever do to him?
"Bye, Ron." Alice smiled, waving.
The boy's face lit up. "Bye, Ali." He waved.
I stared at him, receiving a glare. I knew exactly why this kid hated me. It made me laugh internally.
"C'mon, Kyle."
I followed Alice to the lane we'd be bowling in. I spotted Sheila, Daisy, Dave, and Callum.
"Hey, guys."
"Kyle! My man, what's up!" Dave came towards me.
"Nothing much."
"Heard you and Noah had a bit of a falling out, yeah?"
I shrugged. "He's not worth my time."
"It ends up being that way," he said, slapping my back.
"Kyle! Do you want to be first?" Sheila asked.
"Um, no," I stuttered.
I sat with Callum and Dave. They both gave me worried looks.
Dave leaned toward me. "Hey, don't laugh um, but I can't bowl."
I beamed at him. "Me neither! Thank God!"
"Daisy forced me to come," Callum nodded, his tone annoyed. "She said we need to start having double and triple dates."
I shook my head. "Wait, triple dates?"
"Well, yeah."
"Is that what it is to Alice?"
Callum's eyes widened. He shook his head vigorously. "Oh! I don't know, I-"
"She knows I'm still with Alice, right?"
"What?" they asked confused.
"What?"
"You just said you're still with Alice." Dave pointed out.
I gave them a weird look. "What? No, I said 'she knows I'm still with Gwen, right?'"
"No, you said Alice," Callum told me.
"But I-"
"Dave! You're up!" Daisy smiled.
I didn't say Alice. I said Gwen. I'm with Gwen. Didn't I? It was just a mistake anyway. It means nothing.
Alice took Dave's spot, smiling at me, and then turning to watch Dave bowl. I took a deep breath, hoping both Alice and me weren't confused about who I was and wasn't with.
...
"Remember the time when Rachel totally burped in the middle of class?" Dave said, making us burst out in laughter.
"That was the best!" Sheila exclaimed.
"Or the time Robert totally biffed it during the football tryouts!" I said. That was hilarious.
"Poor guy. He didn't even make the water boy."
We were all having a great time. We'd just finished our bowling game, the boys getting the worst scores of course. Sheila won with Alice behind, Daisy, Dave, and then I and Callum tied with 43.
It was fun.
We were currently at Pete's having some pizza. It was nearly eight o'clock. I knew I had to get home soon, but I was really enjoying my friends. Usually, hanging out consists of me and Gwen or me, Noah, and Ryan. But this time, it's different. It's with different people.
I mean, I liked Callum and Dave, but I never really hung out with them. The only time we saw each other was at lunch or in some classes at school or at soccer.
When I realized it was starting to get late, I decided to head out.
"Hey guys, this was really fun, but I gotta go."
"Aw," the girls sighed, "So early?"
"Well, I've got curfew."
"Alright," Dave said. "Take it easy, man."
"You too. This was fun. I'd like to do it again." I told them all.
"For sure!" Daisy exclaimed next to Callum.
"Later guys."
"Bye!"
I gave Alice a sweet smile, to which she blushed, and left Pete's. All in all, I had a pretty good day.
...
"So, how was your time out bowling?" Gwen asked over the phone.
"It was fun. I had a great time."
"I'm glad."
"Yeah."
"Um, nothing happened with Alice?"
My stomach dropped. "No, why?"
"Just wondering."
"I thought you weren't as jealous anymore."
"Well, I'm still a little cautious."
"Oh," I nodded.
"So, I talked to my parents."
"And?"
"They aren't really gonna budge."
"I think it's stupid. You got home fine and I had a perfectly good explanation. And it was the truth!"
"I know, they're just being stupid. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I guess I'm taking you away from them too much."
"Kyle," Gwen sighed.
"Seriously, Gwen. Aren't I? You hang out with me all the time now. It must be hard for them. I mean, you are their only daughter."
"But they need to deal with it. I'm good now. My cancer isn't getting any worse so they need to understand that I need to be as much as a teenager as possible."
I sighed. "I just wish they didn't have to make your curfew so early."
I imagined Gwen shrugging. "They'll get over it soon."
"I sure hope so."
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