Let's start from the beginning. From my beginning.
I was sixteen, when I first saw this beautiful, beautiful doll. This doll wasn't like those cheap, Barbie knock-offs, and this doll wasn't an actual Barbie either. He (for the beautiful doll was a boy) looked more life-like, realer than any doll I had ever seen before. Not counting the baby dolls that girls were expected to feed and cried 'mama, mama'. Those were creepy and made taking care of an infant easy. Yeah right.
No, he was beautiful. He was a work of art. So naturally, I became obsessed. I later found out that his doll was a kind of doll called a Ball Jointed Doll. I read every post about BJDs, I read information about how much one was (and I nearly fell over when I read that bit), how to buy one, take care of one; how to change their eyes, how to pose them; literally everything about them I could read about, I read about. But, however excited and how much I longed for one, it was not to be. I was only 16, poor as any middle class sixteen year old was. So I dreamed. I dreamed about what company I would buy my first doll from, what clothes, wigs, eyes, shoes and the whole shebang; what their name would be, what their personality would be, their back story...
Now, I'm the lot of you are saying, but aren't they creepy? Aren't you scared? But never fear- as boys fall in love with basketball (among many, other things) and girls to their respective fads and obsessions, I had mine. I loved every moment of creating this unique character, every moment of imagining all the possibilities that could come from this. I loved the freedom I had.
And so, naturally, I bought myself one, after graduating and working. He wasn't the same sculpt as the first doll that I saw, but still he captured my affections. He was the most handsome, I thought, and he still is. His name is Keit. Like Keith, but without the 'h'. He wears a blond with purple hightlighted wig and mostly wears leather and bright colored shirts. He's got one blue eye and the other a mint color. He's the first BJD I ever bought. My mom thought he was kinda weird, being 70cm and handsome and muscular. She thought he was like a little demon (thanks Mom). After a while though, she got so used to him, that she started sewing for him. Imagine that. It was as if she thought of him as her own little grandson. Well, she might as well, since I myself won't be giving her grandchildren anytime soon.
...Oh, what's that? Who am I, you ask? Well. Let's see... Uh, well, I'm Zee. It's short for a really long name that I won't bother you with. I'm sure you think I live with my mom, but that isn't the case really. We live about an hour away, but we're super close. When mom went through her divorce with my biological father, she went through so much pain and grief. It was a hard time for her, and for me as well. Since I was working, I couldn't come over and comfort her, but after a while, she moved on. So I guess our relationship is much better now, since she's more supportive of me, and me to her.
As for myself, I live alone, and have a nine to seven job. It's hard work, but it's all good. Uh... I love BJDs, and cooking. I suck at sewing, but I'm pretty okay when I sketch. I was supposed to take up a Fine Arts course, during college, but it was not to be. I got stuck with Business so, yeah.
But enough about my boring self.
Over the years, I have bought more dolls. Currently I have 9 BJDs, all boys, ranging from 60cm to 70 cm (or SD sized, if you will). They all have different personalities, different relationships with each other, and even different styles. I love them all of course, but you could say I'm biased towards Keit. After all these years, he's gotten himself a boyfriend, in the form of a 65cm SD male, named Friday, who I saw one summer event and told myself, 'yes, that's Keit's boyfriend' and bought him. Recently, I joined social media sites and have been posting photos of my BJD crew and through that, I have made friends and found out that there were BJD owners like myself that lived close by. We met, me all red in the face and gushing about my love for BJDs and getting to meet so many other hobbyists like myself, and now it's a pretty regular thing. Most Saturdays are spent with my hobbyist friends, taking walks and snapping photos of our children (read: BJDs, haha). It's been fun.
Until recently.
...How do I even explain this? See, before I fell in love with Ball Jointed Dolls, I fell for my high school classmate. How cliché, really. He was super creative, and book smart. He was sweet. He was on the cute side, and a lot of the higher years liked to baby him, bully him a little, but always brought him sweets and fed him like a little brother. I always thought he was the cutest little thing. He was short, just a little below my shoulders. He had fluffy, brown hair (just like his name really) and wore glasses, the poor thing. He could hardly see without them. We often walked back home together, he and I, since we lived in the same neighborhood. He shared me his candy while we walked, and we talked, laughed and ran. And when we parted ways, we reminded each other of the homework we had to finish, what important exams were coming up, what to study one, the lot. We were pretty good friends.
So I fell. Literally.
It happened when we were walking back home as usual, when some dumb kid on a bike zoomed past me and basically knocked me off my feet. I ended up on the sidewalk, staring at the sky. And then his face popped up, his eyes all teary and blubbering something about how I shouldn't die, 'don't die', 'are you bleeding?' It was that moment that I felt- weird. It had nothing to do with any sort of physical injury. Seeing him, looking at me and crying, telling me a bunch of stuff I could barely understand, made me feel... I don't know, different. I felt fond of him. No, not fond... something else. But whatever the feeling was, I knew it was weird and I kept it to myself. After the incident, he was so protective of me, to the point where my whole block thought it was weird when we weren't together. Two sides of a coin, apparently. It was then that I realized, I kinda fell for him. Whenever he wasn't by me, I did feel like something was missing. I didn't feel at ease until he was next to me, smiling at me and pushing up his eyeglasses while jabbering about a new museum that opened in the city, or a commercial he saw that he found funny, or really anything he thought that was of interest, he told me. I came to love him, naively, like the cradle robber that I was. Anyhow, however strongly I felt for him, I just couldn't tell him. I just couldn't. Not even on graduation day, when we hugged and he buried his face on my shoulder, crying with joy and repeating, 'we did it, we did it'. Not even when we said goodbye, only to part ways and never see each other again.
...Ugh, what a sob story, huh. Fast forward to the present and Cass, another doll owner who lives around the area, invited me to another meet in a couple of hours. Who was I to tell her no? So I dressed Keit and Friday (who everyone just calls Fries) and snapped a photo of the two to post, writing 'These two are going out to meet their buddies. Anyone around the area can join~!'
When I got to the meet up, the usual were there: Cass, with Jones and Mars, the twins; Jo and his 70cm hunk Ash and the ever cute MSD Fisher; May Anne and her three beautiful girls, Danni, Blues and Jimmy, all MSDs; Nell with Sophia and Junior, both SDs. There were a couple of other people I didn't know, but as I walked over, Jo called out and everyone chorused welcomes. As soon as I placed my doll carrier down, May Anne rushed over, squealing at me.
"Zee!" She said, grinning and hugging me. "I thought you weren't coming!" May Anne, a petite lady, was a face up artist of amazing talent. Her pastel pink hair was sticking up in all directions, but she seemed energetic, bouncing a little as she hugged me.
"Whatever made you think that?" I asked, hugging her back and smiling. I pulled away, taking Keit and Friday out. "They would never let me not go," I laughed. Behind May Anne, Nell shot me a grin, waving. I waved back. Nell's doll, Junior, is actually Friday's best friend. We were friends, Nell and I, since college, when I saw his cellphone wallpaper by accident and started bombarding him with questions about BJDs. We kept in touch over the years, even weaving Friday's story to Junior's.
"Friday is still as cute as ever," May Anne cooed. She grinned at me, making grabby hands at Friday. "Can Fries sit with the girls, please?"
I laughed, letting her take Friday. "Sure. Tell Blues to calm down, okay?" May Anne giggled, waving her hand in the air.
"Hey," Cass called. I turned, smirking. "Wipe that dumb smirk off your face," she said, sticking her tongue out and patting the seat next to her. I shook my head, walking over and bending down to kiss her cheek.
"Cassy~" I hummed, sitting down on the seat next to her. On the table, in front of her, Jones and Mars were sitting, their long legs dangling over the edge. "Oh, the twins are in luck. Friday's occupied with May's girls right now," I sing-songed. Cass chuckled, making space between the two for Keit. I placed him on the space Cass left for him. She picked up Mars to change his position, bending his knees to a kneeling pose. She placed him back next to Keit, positioning Mars' hands on Keit's shoulder. I laughed, Mars looking at Keit as if Keit didn't have himself a boyfriend.
"Those two are all over Keit again," Jo's voice laughed from behind me. I half turned, grinning up at him.
"You know he loves it," I said, reaching out to hug him. He laughed, hugging me and patting my head before pointing to where May Anne and someone I didn't know were giggling over her dolls who were with Friday and Fisher posing, with Ash looking on unamused.
"They're having way too much fun though." He said. Cassy laughed loudly. Jo chuckled, shaking his head. He squeezed my shoulder. "The girl besides May Anne; she's a fan of Jimmy but a newbie." He smiled.
"Yeah, she saw my post about meeting y'all," Cass said matter-of-factly, squinting her eyes at the pose Jones was making. She nodded, satisfied, before turning to us. "You should meet her, she's been wanting to buy a MSD for some time now, apparently."
"Oh? Alright!" I said, getting up. I glared at her, pointing. "You better take care of Keit."
She raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Well, he'll have to defend himself from the twins but apart from that, I'm your man for the job."
I rolled my eyes, shooting her a smile as we walked off to meet the newbie. There were two other new people I didn't recognize aside from Elisa, the girl who Jo and Cass had pointed out earlier. We had fun, taking photo after photo of the dolls together and giving the new kids advice. One of them was Paige, and the other Drew. Drew apparently had a cousin that was supposed to be coming to the meet, but was stuck in traffic.
Other than that, it was the usual meeting, asking Paige, Elisa and Drew how they got into BJDs, what sculpts were they looking to buy, etc. It was fun, talking with Nell, Cass and Jo and trying to keep up with May Anne's antics.
As I was talking to Elise with Cass about a certain BJD company and their doll's posing, Drew sat up, waving to someone behind us. "Milo! Guys, this is my very late for the meet cousin Milo-" I was about to turn when a very tall figure came into my peripheral view.
"Hi, I'm sorry, I'm late," a soft voice said. At the voice, the hairs on my arms stood on end. I knew that voice.
"Oh, hey," Cass said, standing up and smiling. "I'm Cass or casscatscan on Instagram." She walked over to him, leaving me and Elise sitting. I took a deep breath, readying myself, before turning to take a peek at Drew's cousin. And sure enough, I was right.
Standing there, talking to Cass and Nell, was my high school crush (?), Milo.
...Well, shit.