Book Reviews 2 [SLOW UPDATES]

By bluecrayonlady

2.8K 143 406

This is the second book for Book Reviews! The first one is completed, so please don't comment your request th... More

FORM!
Review #1: One Night, Alone
Review #2: Memory Shards
Review #3: The Elements: Air
Review #4: Hailey's Comet
Review #5: A Ripple in a Void
Review #6: What?
Review #7: Whispers of Spilt Blood
Review #8: Taken - Zootopia
Review #9: Wait For Me
Review #10: My Pretend Boyfriend
Review #11: Amnesia
Review #12: Timing A Runaway
Review #13: The Unspoken Words
Review #14: The Awkward McFlurry
Review #15: Falling for the Fallen
Review #16: Love at First Fight
Review #17: Pluto
Review #18: Sunset
Review #19: I'm Aurora
Review #20: Phone Calls
Review #21: That Boy At My Attic
Review #22: Before
Review #23: Stranded
Review #24: Awakening
Review #25: Saku no Akumu
Review #26: The Fox and The Forest
Review #27: The Wrongs He Made Right
Review #28: Midnight Promises
Review #29: Zac and Zelda
Review #30: Colored Pencils
Review #31: The Butterfly Effect
Review #32: Fading
Review #34: scintilla
Review #35: Never Too Late
Review #36: Essence
Review #37: Beyond the Fence
Review #38: Dear Mister Bully
Review #39: #24 Hours With A Stranger
Review #40: Pieces of Olivia
Review #41: The Complications Between Penelope Nelson & Ashton Wright
Review #42: Becoming the Perfect Bitch
Review #43: An Unexpected Serving
Review #44: Esthara: A Call for Blood and Peace
Review #45: Hayden Mackay and the Forgotten Kingdom
Review #46: Rebirth
Review #47: The Perks of Being Invisible
Review #48: A Tough Life
Review #49: Random One Shots
Review #50: Lollipops
Review #51: Dear You
Review #52: The 24th Hunger Games
Review #53: Forever the Best Friend
Review #54: The Beanie Boy on Plane
Review #55: The Truth or Dare Kiss
Review #56: The Boy Who Sat Next to Me
Review #57: Miss Heartbreaker
Review #58: The Girl You Knew
Review #59: Silent Angel
Review #60: Through the eyes of his bully
Review #61: Childhood Enemy
Review #62: UnclichΓ©
Review #63: Paper Trails
Review #64: Bonded
Review #65: Beneath the Marfa Lights
Review #66: Unhappily Ever After
Review #67: Oblivious
Review #68: The Omega Chronicles - Alpha and Omega
Review #69: All That Leads to You
Review #70: Delicate
Review #71: Saving Annabel
Review #72: Like Hurricanes
Review #73: Limerence
Review #74: Penance
Review #75: Chelsea Grins
Review #76: D.O.G.: Executive Order
Review #77: Broken Until Him
Review #78: Theodore and Jade
Review #79: The Longest Ride

Review #33: Astral Saga

25 0 1
By bluecrayonlady

HavocWriter1

First Impression: nice cover!

I like the History Lesson chapter, because it shows that you have this whole world planned out very well and you clear up any confusion that might arise. I like how you describe the world very well, and explain what happened in the past that has now led us to here. Your descriptions are great, and your prologue is very action filled. What I'm worried about is that since there are so many characters, and you are writing in third person, it might get confusing in the future. For example, in the last part of the first chapter, you have "Jessica pointed out." And then you have "Janina asked." And after that, "Jason answered." All these names will probably get confusing as the story progresses, so I suggest writing in one character's point of view and give their take on what is happening. You can switch points of views sometimes. It's your choice. If you want to stay in third person, that can work as well, you just have to be very careful when writing so that readers don't get confused. You could also work on making each character's personality distinct so that we can learn who they are and tell them apart from each other. 

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

If you are feeling nice, I would greatly appreciate it if you give one of my stories a read, follow me, or give me a shoutout! If you enjoy making art, I would love for you to make something for one of my stories, and I will post it! Just message me if you have any questions. 

Please comment below a rating of how helpful this review was for you (out of 5 stars) Be honest, it will really help me! Thanks :)

- bluecrayonlady 

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