I am resting on my cushioned settee, a green leather-bound copy of The First Eorling in one hand and a glass of cool water in the other. Despite my many attempts, my thoughts stray far from the words on the page.
Midsummer has turned to late summer, and the merciless sun's heat remains, any hint of autumn's respite not evident. A month has passed since Legolas' departure to Imladris to give Lord Elrond the news of Gollum's disappearance, having volunteered for the treacherous journey before Tauriel could. It was with some reluctance that the King let him leave.
My mind journeys backward in time to the fateful night in June when Gollum escaped. The King left his Aur en-Onnad party in a hurry, along with Legolas, to join the guards in their search. Long into the starless night they scoured the forest for any trace of the creature, returning only at dawn with empty hands. Gollum likely had long reached the stronghold of Dol Guldur.
Before his escape, it was said his guards took him to his favorite beech tree by the river, having mercy after his continued pleading for fresh air. While Gollum climbed the branches, they stood at the bottom, lightly armed and inattentive. They were easily slain when the orcs attacked. It had clearly been planned.
It is still unknown how Gollum devised it. But Thranduil and the guards underestimated his cunning, and the Enemy's spies. Now he is loose again, undoubtedly hunting for the One Ring at the Enemy's behest. Is a lone Halfling any match for that wretched creature?
I shiver, though it is far from cold, and close the book with a dull thud. Mulling over the events of that night makes it impossible to focus on an overly detailed journal from a forgotten Rohirric King. And no matter how I try to block Ferdir's words, I still hear them in an unending repetition.
"I have heard she did not love him."
I lift the smooth glass to my lips and take a sip to wash the words away, but they have settled like boulders. Water will not move them. I walk to my bookshelf and return the faded green journal to its home, perhaps to reside there for another hundred years.
The Eldar marry only once for the ages. It is a union carefully considered and created by nothing less than love, broken by neither strife nor death, ending only at the world's end. It is the will of Eru. Whether or not the Queen loved her King changes nothing, and never will.
Even if Thranduil's heart has changed and he loves another, it is folly. No new marriage vows will be accepted under Varda's skies. Ferdir's unfounded belief that the King sent Caewen the harp would perhaps be amusing to some, but I find it unsettling.
The Queen loved him, surely.
"Do not be so sure," Ferdir says.
I sigh heavily. I cannot stay secluded in my chambers and allow my troubled thoughts to reign. Visiting Lady Aethel would at least provide a needed distraction...
"Rîneth?"
Ada's voice. I stride to the door to let him in, grateful for his timing, yet curious. It is only late afternoon, too early for his usual visits.
He greets me with an untroubled smile, clutching what looks like a letter in his hand. "May I come in?"
"As long as you are not delivering bad news," I tease, and lead him to the settee. I pour a glassful of water as he settles. "Do you have something for me?"
"Hannon-le." He takes the offered drink. "Thranduil received a message this morning. He wanted you to read it."
I sit down. On the white parchment is a broken maroon seal of the House of Elrond, its filigree design one I have seen before in letters from my sister. But the writing is small and precise, different from Faeleth's feminine, loopy script. It is addressed from Lord Elros.
I read over it hastily, and again, letting every word sink in. Releasing a breath, I re-fold the letter, not knowing what to feel.
"I wonder if I should tell Gwendes, or let her find out on her own."
"Neither," he says. "Hand her the letter so she may read it."
I turn over the crisp parchment. It is not much heavier than air. "I would need Thranduil's permission."
"He is the one who suggested it."
I smile faintly, knowing Thranduil's reasoning has little to do with Gwendes' well-being and more to do with mine. He knows I still suffer guilt for leading her astray. Perhaps he sees a possibility for reconciliation. I am not so optimistic. But I shall deliver the letter to Gwendes if it will prevent her from being taken by surprise, and allow her heart time to heal before his return.
After sharing a bowl of sweet melon with Ada, my thoughts too scattered for decent conversation, I leave the cool comfort of the cavern halls and make my way to the village. I push my sleeves to my elbows as the angry sun bears down on me, as though inflicting vengeance for my time spent away. The sky is a washed-out blue, wispy clouds slowly marching over the trees. The villagers are still out and about, finishing their last chores before supper.
Behind the colorful chandlery house is the potters' residence, the cheerful pots of Elanor still resting on the steps but now missing their yellow star-shaped blooms. I feel an unpleasant flutter as I remember my last unwelcome visit. Will Gwendes ask me to leave, refusing to read the letter? My vision falls on a stained apron thrown over the vine-carved railing.
A daintier and shorter version of Gwendes opens the door, the same red locks falling to her waist. Her eyes are almond-shaped and brown rather than Gwendes' round, cutting blue. She wears a wide grin.
"She is walking by the river, my lady," says Gilrin, Gwendes' mother.
"Alone?"
"Yes. And she goes there every day, unless the weather prevents it. I have warned her, but she will not listen. You would think with her brother..." She trails off, her face etched in worry.
I thank her and leave, and follow the overgrown shrub-lined path running by their small home as it forks towards the river and the cave beyond it. Does Gwendes fully understand the dangers of straying too far from the village? She surely must know of the recent ambush on Gollum's behalf. Thranduil has increased the guards on patrol at all times, but the orcs are skilled at slipping through unseen.
I follow the mossy riverbank towards the waterfall, eventually glimpsing Gwendes' long strawberry hair and dress the color of orchid, a stark contrast to the surrounding greenery. I increase my pace, eager for the initial awkwardness to be over. She turns around as I grow closer. Her eyes widen.
"Lady Rîneth. What are you doing here?"
"I first stopped by your house. Your mother said you were here. I..." I feel the sharp edge of the folded letter on my skin, and my heart quickens. "Should you not be closer to the village, where it is safer? The guards--"
"I have seen them here often. I am not alone." There is a hint of annoyance in her tone. "Why were you looking for me, my lady?"
I blink, the simple question making me feel ridiculous. What right do I have to deliver the news? It will be misconstrued as me wanting to show I had been right in my warning, like rubbing salt in an open wound. But I cannot turn back now, not when her eyes have flitted to the parchment in my hand.
I hand it to her. "I...am sorry for everything, Gwendes."
I turn back, looking forward to the comfort of my chambers, regardless of the troubled thoughts keeping me company. Even resuming reading The First Eorling, despite its tedious monologue, no longer fills me with dread.
I am halfway to the arch bridge when Gwendes' high voice breaks the steady roar of the river.
"Rîneth, wait!"
Gwendes runs to catch up with me, the letter flapping in her hand like a white flag of surrender. I hold my breath, not knowing what to expect.
"I already knew, my lady. I already knew," she repeats between labored breaths, her previously composed face now crumbled.
"How did you--"
"I did not really know. But I knew. I knew you were right about him, but my pride would not allow me to admit it to either myself or to you. Perhaps you will forgive me in time..."
"Then have your feelings for him changed? Next we see Elros, he will be with his betrothed. She is to move here within the coming month."
"My tears betray me." She looks sheepish as she wipes under her eyes. "I still carry hope, even while I know there is none. It is no one's fault but mine."
"Gwendes..." I hesitate, wondering if she will now be willing to listen. But I feel a strong compulsion, a burning need to tell her, as if telling her will help to heal my own heart. "I know your pain. I have experienced it as well."
"Love unreturned?"
"I once thought it was love." My eyes sting, perhaps from the sun. I avert my gaze to the river. "But how could I have loved someone I did not know? He wore a mask to me, for reasons I still do not understand."
"What was his name?"
"Nethanar." The word feels strange on my tongue; I have not uttered it in so long. "He once lived in our realm, before his parents' departure to the Havens. He left soon after. I do not know where he went, nor do I care."
"I have never heard of him."
"He...did not mingle with the villagers," I say, remembering his oft-spoken disdain. "He was a stranger to me until one summer when he whispered a jest in my ear. He enjoyed my laughter, and I enjoyed his sudden attention. While the other ellith fixed their attention on Legolas, I had always found Nethanar, with his dark hair and green eyes, far more handsome.
I accompanied him everywhere, whether it was to the practice grounds or on hunting trips, and he let me. His compliments were unceasing, and I eagerly believed them. I convinced myself I was in love, that he loved me as well, and we would be married." I shake my head. "He gave me no reason to believe otherwise, Gwendes. Yet I did not wish to contemplate why I knew so little about him, or why he never sat beside me at the King's table..."
I fall silent, memories flooding my mind of a hundred more instances when I disregarded my intuition. My heart had its own foolish agenda.
I lift my eyes from the river to the bridge, a flash of harsh sun falling on two Elves walking across it.
"Legolas came to see me at the summer's end. It was not for a usual friendly visit, but to warn me about Nethanar. He told me I was not the first to fall for his charms, and that he had a cruelty about him, an ugly need to hurt those he deemed lesser than himself..."
"Lesser than himself," Gwendes repeats, her brow wrinkling. "You did not listen to him?"
"Of course not. I was infatuated, and therefore blinded. I could not see it and did not wish to. You now know the feeling well."
She nods solemnly. "When did you find out his true nature?"
"When he grew tired of me. When he saw my heart was wrapped around his finger. When he knew it would hurt me most." I close my eyes. "I had not seen him for several days and grew worried. When I went to his chambers, he opened the door wearing an angry scowl, so different from his typical affable grin. He...told me he wished for nothing more to do with me, that my eyes reminded him I was part Silvan. He told me he deserved better."
"Oh, Rîneth..."
"My father and King Thranduil have since convinced me Nethanar was atypical, lacking the kindness and morality of our kin. I have heard rumors his twin brother was killed in battle on behalf of saving a Silvan soldier, and perhaps his resentment started there. I shall likely never know.
But I am now sensitive to prejudice, despising its very existence. Tis why I pushed you to prevent it determining your choice in a mate. By doing so, I led you towards someone with the same ideas as Nethanar. It was never my intention..."
She shakes her head vigorously. "Of course not, my lady. I do not blame you. More than ever, I understand. If only I heeded your warning...your experience has given you superior wisdom."
"Yours shall give you wisdom as well. Just as Nethanar was to blame for what happened, Elros is as well. We should no longer blame ourselves. Neither of us saw his prejudice."
"If only we had." Gwendes looks down at her feet, a warm breeze lightly lifting her hair. "His poor future wife."
As our conversation gently strays from the Keeper of Keys to brighter topics, a sense of peace settles over me. I know all will be well. I shall have my friend again.
A/N: Thanks as always for all your votes and lovely reviews!