Hi readers!
Thank you so much for reading this story. Just let me know your thoughts about this. Actually, I nearly decided to delete this story but then, as long as someone reads this then I'll write.
Again, thank you so much! You make me happy!
Love lots! Enjoy!
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I can almost taste him controling himself not to kiss or touch me more than as what he had at the moment. He rubbed his cheek against mine very slowly.
I stared up at the ceiling trying to figure out what should I do next.
"Then stop. Stop this if it's making you do bad things. If it's making you bad. Just stop", my eyes never left the ceiling as I breathed those words for his ears only.
He stopped rubbing his cheek and leveled his face on me. I courageously met his stonecold eyes. Deep blue like the ocean we used to stay for summer vacation. So blue that everytime I stare at them, I can feel myself drown on his depth. So deep that it can swallow me whole to the point of no getting one's self back on the surface.
He ran a finger on my face. Roaming his eyes with it.
" Stop?", he asked. "I can't"
"Why?"
"Because I can't"
I tensed up when he started to run his fingers on my shoulder and arm. My breath hitched and the hair on the back of my neck stood high.
"You see, I can't let you go", his smiles looked innocent but it wasn't at the same time.
" Why?"
"Don't ask me", he stopped and held my hand. He brought it to his mouth and kissed it softly. He inhaled my scent from my knuckles.
" I said don't ask", his eyes closed as if he's cherishing every hint of smell I have.
"You smell like strawberries and like spring and like vanilla..."
"Sebastian", cutting off his enchantment, I tried to pull my hand out of his own. Key word-tried.
" Don't talk"
"Don't tell me what to do"
"I said, don't talk, Trish", a warning clearly rang out of his words.
But I want him to stop this. I want him to just stop so I continue calling his name.
" Seba----"
"I SAID DON'T TALK!!!", he shouted gripping my hand so hard that I thought he broke my fingers. I flinched.
He finally took a few steps backwards and he gripped his hair then run a hand on his face as if he's furiously frustrated, well, clearly, that he was.
" Don't ask me to stop 'cause I'm not going to stop, okay?", then a laugh escaped his mouth and it sounded so crazy.
"I'm not going to stop until I have you, okay, love?" But I remained silent just completely staring at him.
"Why can't you understand? I can't be with you?" I begun to feel frustrated. I'm beginning to feel exhausted making him understand of what can't be.
He raised a brow on me as if challenging my point on my words. "Why?"
Why? Yes, Trisha, why can't you be with him?
Just because.
Seriously?
Because what we feel about one another is definitely not love. Why? Because it's destructive. It can destroy us and we are not good for one another. I explained to myself.
"Why?", he repeated waiting impatiently for my answer.
" B-b-because... I-I-I-I d-d-don't....", I stammered feeling the unfamiliar weight on my chest.
"Don't what?"
I took a deep breath and finally said,
"Because I don't love you", My eyes burned from the tears that wanted to fall but I held them back.
Silence surrounded us. Dead silence. My eyes were fixed on the floor because I can't stand looking at him while I lie.
Then, for the second time, he laughed.
He laughed evilly and I looked at him pissed.
What does he find funny? I hate it when he's making fun of me and of my feelings.
The devil is back.
" You don't love me?", not trusting myself to speak, I firmly nodded my head yes.
I gulped a lump on my throat and kept my face blank to mask all the emotions I could possibly reveal.
"I don't care if you don't love me, honey", he grinned.
I gasped in shock and left my mouth open an inch for a good second.
" What?", I asked in disbelief.
He rolled his eyes and said ," I said, it doesn't matter if you love me or not. I do not care if you love me or not, sweetheart", and I continued gaping in disbelief.
"You see, as long as you're mine, then I don't care at all", he stated as a matter of fact.
" You can't do that", my voice almost broke. The only thing on my mind now is, if he does not care about me loving him, does it mean he also wouldn't care about how I feel?
"Yes, I can! No one can ever have you even if it's the man you love", he said the last three words with distaste.
I wanted to laugh this time. The man I love? If he only knew but then I can't let him know.
" And what will you do?", I mocked though the insides of me were still in a little shock.
"Like I said, I'll ruin them. All those who are going to stand in my way, they'll be dead before they know it. They're done for", he proudly claimed.
" As if you can"
"You wanna bet? You being the prize? How I love that"
"As if! You can't make me yours!"
"We'll see. Do your best resisting, love because I really love a good challenge. Do you best because I'm as sure as hell I'm gonna do my worst", tensing up, I walked out of the room leaving him with his victorious smile.
I looked back at him as I stepped out of the room and he waved me goodbye.
I need to win.